Category: whatsnew

Have You Ever Gotten Caught in a Speed Trap?

On my way to a client there is a construction zone with a daily speed trap, well, I suppose the better term might be “Construction Zone Traffic Enforcement Area,” that seems like shooting fish in a barrel for the police as I would say three out of the five days a week the police have already pulled someone over and are writing a ticket for, I’m assuming, speeding through the work zone. The thing is that it isn’t that crazy a work zone, just a simple crossover for some bridge reconstruction, reducing the traffic to one lane in each direction, at a reasonable 35 miles per hour, down from 45 MPH. However, I can see how people easily blow through it, as it does come off a traffic light, is at the bottom of hill, and totally lends itself to a perfect place for the police to sit, at the end of the construction zone by some traffic barricades, just picking off the speeding cars with a flick of a radar gun.

As I drive past every day, very much aware of the 35 MPH on my speedometer, it tends to always, for whatever reason, remind me of the only speeding ticket I ever received, years and years ago on a trip back to Chicago from my old homestead in Ohio, when I was ticketed by aircraft doing about 65 in a 55. The highway patrol had a nice set-up going, with I’m assuming an airplane overhead radioing down to the patrolmen on the ground, who, as cars were approaching a work zone and naturally slowing down, had men on the side of the road pretty much just pointing at every other car and directing them to pull over to the side of the road and get their comeuppance. I would say they had to have about 1,000 cars pulled over (okay, probably about 10), and it sucks bad enough getting a ticket, but it sucks even worse sitting there, waiting and watching officers just go from car to car, ticket book in hand, and knowing you really have no shot at getting out of your penalty for not obeying the speed limit. When the officer got to my car I was very congenial, already had my license and registration ready, nicely thanked the man for my “reminder” to follow the traffic laws, and drove away trying desperately to learn my lesson for the next four hours driving in my car.

With that is today’s daily plight: Have you ever gotten caught in a speed trap?

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Like Howard Stern on America’s Got Talent?

First I will say that I am a little biased as I have always been a Howard Stern fan. Okay, maybe I haven’t always been a Howard Stern fan as when he first started hitting the airwaves I originally thought “Who is this blowhard on the radio? I don’t need to listen to his New York City crap when I’ve got our awesome radio dudes in Chicago!” And at the time we had some awesome radio dudes in Chicago. Slowly, though, their shows got cut, and I would occasionally check in with Howard’s show, then check in a little more, than listen every day, then order Sirius Satellite radio specifically because Howard went there, and then be sad when he scaled back his show. Alas, though, I have turned into a fan, and yes, like most fans, wish he would work seven days a week and never take a vacation, but so be it.

In any case, knowing how he was on his radio show I always felt he would make a great judge on a reality TV show, mostly because as I would listen to him comment about things like “American Idol” and “America’s Got Talent” on his radio show, even if he didn’t care for a particular singer nor act, he always had a valid opinion and could relate it to the entertainment world. With that I was excited to hear he was coming to “America’s Got Talent,” although I know there would be some blow-back from people whom all they knew him for were stories of fart jokes and interviews with porn stars, yet there he was, on the judge’s table next to Sharon Osbourne, able to throw down against Howie Mandel and showing a general concern for contestants yet still being able to have fun with them. He is that guy who isn’t afraid to hold back, will tell a person like it is, and just as important, explain that their act is good, just not great enough, or that he knows in the theater the act is great, but it probably won’t translate to us, the viewer at home. He does all of this without a British accent, and he brought back “Horse” a few weeks ago on the “Judges” Choice” show, a man who has an immeasurable talent of being able to take a shot in the nuts over and over again, and who can’t appreciate that?

That brings me to today’s daily plight: Do you like Howard Stern on “America’s Got Talent?”

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Count Your Money After Getting It From an ATM?

I vaguely remember the first time I used an ATM (I shall do my best not to call it an ATM machine during this plight, as then I am really calling it an Automated Teller Machine machine, which drives me crazy when people do that, but I digress). It was around 1985, and I was given my first ATM card by my parents so that they could put money in an account for me, and I could easily withdraw it while I was at college. The ATM has come a long way since those early machines, okay, now that I think about it, not really. I remember the machine I used, it was in the Commons building at Illinois Institute of Technology, and as you would do today you would put in your card, punch in your PIN (Which should never be called a PIN number, thereby calling it a Personal Identification Number number), and out would spew your cash. About the only difference between then and now was that to make a deposit you had to put your checks or money in an envelope, whereas now the newer ATM’s don’t need an envelope when you make a deposit.

Back then then geek in me always dreamed things would change with the ATM, like instead of needing a card and a PIN they would have retina scans to identify you, but alas, we are still tied down with that ATM card, however, the geek in me also generally trusted the machine to give me the right amount of moolah, and I also remember that I don’t think I even counted my money when I made a withdrawal. The reason I thought about this is that the other day I re-noticed my wife taking money out of an ATM and then counting it, and it occurred to me that it was something I never really did. I guess I always figured what would I do if the amount was wrong? Sure, the ATM’s have those cameras on them, so should I fan out the money if front of the camera while mouthing “Hey, you didn’t give me all of my money!”, and then call the bank hoping that they believed me that the machine screwed up? I suppose if there was an epic fail in the amount of money the machine dispensed I would try to do something about it, but seriously, if the machine shorted me a twenty-spot, would I really take the time to call the bank? Sadly, probably not.

So that leads me to today’s plight: Do you count your money after getting it from an ATM?

Will You Watch Any of the Republican Convention Coverage?

It’s finally here, the days we’ve been waiting for – Convention time! Fine. For most of us it’s not really the days we’ve been waiting for, but up first are the Republicans who will be spouting how their plan, even though they most likely won’t really detail a plan, will be the greatest thing for America, to be followed shortly by the Democrats who will be spouting how their plan, even though they most likely won’t really detail a plan, either, will be the greatest thing for America. There will be a lot of speeches, most during times when no one cares, and most by people no one really cares about nor will most people pay attention to because they will be during the day, but there has been some debate about the lack of coverage of Mrs. Romney’s speech until it was announced her speech was being moved so that the networks would carry it, and most still wonder if there will be an appearance by Donald Trump, especially now that Mitt opened up the birther debate with some off-handed remarks not “meant” to open up the birther debate again.

Most of the networks are limiting their convention coverage to their respective cable news outlets, dedicating a whopping one hour a night to the main networks coverage after most kids should be in bed (10PM on the east coast) either under the guise that Americans don’t care enough and would rather watch Howard Stern on “America’s Got Talent” or that you can find the rest of the coverage elsewhere, but mostly that decision is probably about ratings (and thereby money) and that wacky “fair time” rule about candidate coverage.

I still don’t know if I’ll watch any of the coverage, I mean, there is “America’s Got Talent” and “Big Brother” to worry about, and with it being at 9PM my time, I’ll be getting ready for bed myself, but as I think about it, I’ll probably do my duty, try to stay informed, and maybe hear what Mitt Romney has to say, and that leads me to my daily plight: Will you watch any of the Republican Convention Coverage?

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Do you find the engagement of Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger an odd pairing?

In the entertainment world in the past couple of days there was no bigger story than the engagement of Avril Lavigne to Chad Kroeger. Fine, there were probably bigger stories, but for a couple of days on Google Trends Avril Lavigne was way up there in the trending race, and it turns out this was the reason why. As a fan of teen, girl pop music, I’ve always liked the musical stylings of Avril, and I’ll also admit that you can catch me singing along to a Nickelback song, but I must say that I find this a little bit of an odd pairing, although who am I to judge their being ten years apart in age, but I guess since they are both Canadian they have that going for them and hopefully a lifetime of wedded bliss.

That leads me to this daily plight: Do you find the engagement of Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger an odd pairing?

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Does God Hate Politicians?

Hurricane Isaac is barreling down on the Gulf of Mexico as I type this, and since the Republican National Convention is in Tampa next week, instead of the focus being on the things that really matter to most of the rest of the nation, it’s mostly about how the hurricane will impact the Convention. So be it, but you knew it would only be a matter of time before someone “important” would state that with the hurricane set to disrupt the Convention, well, it was God showing his displeasure with the Republican Party. This time is was Congressman Danny Davis from my greatly mis-managed state of Illinois, and although he sort of says it in a joking matter (here’s a link where you can find the audio), you have to figure there is a part of him that believes it, and that there are many more God-fearing folks who believe the same thing.  He states, “Well, it means that the gods are favoring Democrats. Not that we wish any kind of difficulty in terms of the weather. But you know you take the bitter with the sweet. And if you can get a little sweetness without manufacturing it, that’s pretty good.” The thing is that he said a day or so ago, and now it looks like the hurricane is heading to Mobile, Alabama and will skirt around Tampa, so does that mean God, or “the Gods” as he stated, had a change of heart?

On the Roe & Roeper show here in Chicago on WLS-AM, they were commenting on this, and also mentioned that the storm also has a chance to park on top of the Democratic Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina, so that instead of just the Republicans, well, God hates all politicians. I began to wonder if that might be true, in a joking way in my head, which leads me to my daily plight: Does God hate politicians?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Do You Regularly Use a Napkin?

I guess I’m sort of a Neanderthal sometimes as I’m not a napkin kind of guy. I mean I know how to use one, will properly place it in my lap when I go to a fancy restaurant, and if I’m eating something generally messy like ribs or chicken wings I’ll have one nearby, but I just rarely find the need for a napkin, and at times it seems to drive my wife crazy. I’m not sure when it started, and for the life of me I seem to recall that my family wasn’t much of napkin kind of family, either. The table would be nicely set with some CorningWare that had this pretty, green flower patter around the edges, and we had the appropriate silverware for the meal, but napkins were nowhere to be found next to the plate, there was just a napkin holder nearby in case there was some kind of loose food issue. Somehow, someway, I’m just generally a clean eater, or at least I just think so.

My wife does her best to make me more refined, but more often than not she’ll catch herself as she’s asking, “Do you need a napk….?”, stopping to realize I’ve already eaten the ice cream and a napkin would just be a waste of landfill space. Sometimes, however, I humor her and ask for one and grin.  Which leads me to today’s plight: Do you regularly use a napkin when you eat?

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Think Nicki Minaj Would Make a Good Judge on American Idol?

I’m a fan of American Idol. There, I said it. And I’m also a fan of those Real Housewives’ shows, but that’s another topic for another plight, maybe. Okay, back to American Idol. Over the past few days there has been a lot of hubbub in Idol-land as stories are coming out that Nicki Minaj, she of “Super Bass” and “Starships” fame, and she whom those little girls, Sophia Grace and Rosie on “Ellen,” like to sing her songs (though they sing the cleaned up version, not with the lines like “Higher than a m&$#er f&#$er” from “Starships”), well, Nicki is rumored to be one of the people to replace Jennifer Lopez or Steven Tyler as a judge on Idol, and for that matter, supposedly Randy Jackson is history as well, so maybe she’s replacing him. In any case, the latest wrinkles seem to be that now Mariah Carey, who is actually confirmed to be a new judge, is upset because she wanted to be the only girl judge. And to confound things even more, the latest rumor is that Kanye West is in the running as a judge, but I’m not going to touch that with a ten-foot pole.

Back to Ms. Minaj. Sure, she’s opinionated, and I suppose she could tell contestants they suck, but for me all of the names they keep throwing about as judges just don’t thrill me. I know Mariah can act goofy at times, so she could bring back the nuttiness lost when Paula Abdul left, but Mariah also seems to come off as too whispery to make an impact, and for me I think the Nicki Minaj act will get old after about three episodes.  There was something about that first batch of judges that worked, with Simon Cowell being the serious one, Paula being the batty one, and Randy calling everyone “Dog,” and it hasn’t been the same since the trio broke up, but I guess you have to start the retooling somewhere (I see the interim crew of Randy, Jennifer, and Steven as the “We really don’t know what to do yet” crew).  I don’t think Nicki will make a good judge on American Idol. There, I’ve said it, but I’ve been wrong before, and I’ll be there for the season when it kicks off in 2013.

And that takes me to this daily plight: Do you think Nicki Minaj would make a good judge on American Idol?

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Know What Time You Were Born?

Here it is, my first daily plight. Okay. It’s not really my first daily plight, I used to do this feature years ago in the early days of Entertainment Ave!, but then it slowly slid into a “weekly plight,” and then into a “when I get around to it” plight, and then it was replaced by, oh, well, it just stopped, which begs the question, “Why is it back?” I’m not totally sure, especially since, if it goes as planned, it means coming up with 365 plights during the next year, but as I was able to come up with a word of the day for a year, to the sometimes confusion of my Facebook friends, I decided “What the hell? Give it a shot!”

The format is simple – I’ll post some kind of question every day and you can vote if you want to, read what inspired my plight if you want to, comment if you want to, or just ignore it, but I hope you come back for a new plight the next day because, well, it’s a daily plight!  Simple enough, right?

Now as I’m still testing this thing, seeing if the plight form works correctly, and also if I like the formatting of it all, and rather than just blow things out of the box with something like “Will Tom Morello influence your vote for President?”, I thought I would keep the topic a little lighter until I’ve got things set, and what better way than with a plight based on one I posted back in April of 2000, when I was asked a simple question that I thought I knew the answer to – What time were you born? I thought I knew, figured it would be on my birth certificate, but much to my surprise the time wasn’t on it, just the date. As I pondered how to find out the answer, another question popped into my head – At what point during birth determines what time you are born?

Birth is a complicated enough thing, not that I’ve experienced it first-hand, other than my own which I don’t really remember, but I wondered when it is official in terms of what time you are born. Is it when the entire body is out, or maybe when the head comes out? And what about if you are a c-section baby, what time are you born then? I suppose the way I would determine it would be to say it is when your umbilical cord is cut, but what do I know, I’m not a doctor, and if I were a doctor, do I get to make up my own rule or is there some guideline in the doctor’s rulebook that says something like “When the baby pops out all of the way and isn’t touching mom anymore, or when you get the baby out of the womb by c-section, that is the time the baby is born.” Even if it is the umbilical cord thing, what’s to say that, in order to be the first baby born in the New Year, couldn’t the woman say something like “Hey Doc, can you wait thirty seconds to cut that cord – I want to be on the news!” Sure, I could search the internet, but what fun would that be, and that still won’t solve my underlying dilemma – I’m not sure what time I was born, other than between the hours of 4 and 5 in the morning, or so said my mom. And that’s what leads me to my re-inaugural daily plight: Do you know what time you were born?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Deep Impact

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:55 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Deep Impact
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Tea Leoni, Robert Duvall, Elijah Wood, Morgan Freeman
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Paramount Pictures & DreamWorks Pictures
Release Date: 1998
Kiddie Movie: Some drama stuff might bore them, and millions of people get killed, although not graphically.
Date Movie: She might get weepy and hold your hand.
Gratuitous Sex: Nope.
Gratuitous Violence: Not really.
Action: Some, when the astronauts are on the asteroid.
Laughs: For me, at the stupid people still living on the east coast.
Memorable Scene: It was pretty cool seeing New York City getting wiped out.
Memorable Quote: Jenny (Tea) is having a drink with her dad and new step-mom, after figuring out Earth is on its way out, and the step-mom says “Life goes on.” Jenny replies, “Life goes on… We’ll see.”
Directed By: Mimi Leder

How’s this for a fancy reviewer line for “Deep Impact”: “Deep Impact” is one of the most predictable, emotional, roller-coaster rides I have seen on the big screen since “Titanic.” Alright, maybe it isn’t the greatest line, but “Deep Impact” was predictable, hell, it was about Earth being hit by an asteroid (and we know that happens from the trailers), and it was emotional (I did find myself anxious for the astronauts trying to blow the big space rock up, and welling up a little as people were saying goodbye). But I guess comparing it too “Titanic” is a little much – as predictable and somewhat emotional, it wasn’t that good, mostly maybe, for me, because of the stupidity of everyone one Earth who died (except the, well, people who had to).

Well, you know what the movie is about – a big asteroid is heading for Earth – what are we to do? In the case of this group of Earthlings, we don’t seem to do much. In any case, let’s start at the beginning. Tea Leoni stars as Jenny Lerner, an up-and-coming newsperson who is trying to make her way up the newsperson ladder. She stumbles on a seeming sex-scandal story in Washington D.C. (oh, like this is topical anymore?). In any case, she’s ready to blow the story open, but in a secret meeting with President Beck (Morgan Freeman), he convinces her to hold off for a couple of days. Get this – she does. Well, the story comes out that it isn’t a sex scandal, but an asteroid is heading for Earth.

Alright, I can buy it so far, and at this point there’s about a year left before the asteroid hits, and the government has a plan – send a spaceship with some astronauts to land on the asteroid and blow it up before it hits. Sounds good to me, and it’s ten months till our astronauts make it there, but our newsgirl Jenny asks something like “What if that doesn’t work.” “Don’t worry,” says the Prez, “It will.” Guess what, it doesn’t.

Alright, plan number two, lets shove a bunch of people in a cave for a couple of years. So, with that, we have the impending end of life as we know it, and our story has turned from an adventure film of blowing up an asteroid, to people planning their end. You get your typical “I’m not leaving you, I’d rather die with you than live without you” scenes, you’ve got some scenes of looting and stuff, and you’ve got people being airlifted to the big cave. Then we get some heroes, a big tidal wave, cities being wiped out, and people surviving. In the end, a nice film, but what was wrong?

I’ll pose what was wrong by asking a few questions. One, you’ve got about a year until a big asteroid is going to wipe out most of life on Earth for about two years – what do you do? We sort of used to ask this question back in college, but instead of a year, you had about 20 minutes because Russia was launching some nukes. Our solutions back then – drink heavily, head for the roof, and catch one mean old suntan, or head to the girls residence hall and say “Hey baby, the world is going to end in 20 minutes. How about you and I end it with a bang!” Some guys actually tried the latter, without the imminent threat of nuclear war, and usually ended up being slapped. But, what if you had a year? Would you trust your survival on the hopes the government could get something right on the first try? I doubt it. Me, I’d be digging a cave of my own, and stocking up on the essentials, things like beer, “Twinkies,” matches, and toilet paper.

Alright, I’ve got a head start on everyone else on my asteroid shelter, but problem number two – why was anyone still living on a coast, other than some ambitious surfer dudes and dudettes, when there were two months from the time of knowing the astronauts screwed up, and the time the asteroid would hit the earth. Hmm, Earth is a whole bunch more water than land, and if the asteroid hits that water it will create one gnarly wave most likely to reach into, like Ohio on the east coast, and maybe like Utah on the west – I’m staying in New York City and hoping the asteroid hits the Pacific. Come on, move your butt to someplace nice and cozy, someplace like the midwest. As sad as it sort of was, all those people being washed away to sea on the east coast, I say too bad – you should have moved.

“Alright, Dude, that can’t be everything bad with the movie, you said it wasn’t that good.” True, there were a bunch more flaws in human nature in “Deep Impact,” but I guess the end problem in the movie, short of a few good performances, and a couple of cool scenes, was that the movie lacked the consistency in both from beginning to end. Don’t get me wrong, the movie is pretty entertaining, but in these days of standards being pushed to another level, pretty entertaining becomes just another movie, even if millions of people died (I will say it again – they were stupid).

So, I did like “Deep Impact,” even with the stupid people, but in the end there were too many scenes of not great acting, too many scenes of total predictability, and too many scenes, well, maybe too many intertwined story lines – you had the astronauts, the newsgirl, the kid who found the comet and his chick, families in turmoil, and oh yea, a big ol’ asteroid. It was just too much.

I’ll give “Deep Impact” 3 out of 5 stars. It was good, not great, and it might even bring a tear to your eye.

That’s it for this one, I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!