Do You Regularly Use a Napkin?

I guess I’m sort of a Neanderthal sometimes as I’m not a napkin kind of guy. I mean I know how to use one, will properly place it in my lap when I go to a fancy restaurant, and if I’m eating something generally messy like ribs or chicken wings I’ll have one nearby, but I just rarely find the need for a napkin, and at times it seems to drive my wife crazy. I’m not sure when it started, and for the life of me I seem to recall that my family wasn’t much of napkin kind of family, either. The table would be nicely set with some CorningWare that had this pretty, green flower patter around the edges, and we had the appropriate silverware for the meal, but napkins were nowhere to be found next to the plate, there was just a napkin holder nearby in case there was some kind of loose food issue. Somehow, someway, I’m just generally a clean eater, or at least I just think so.

My wife does her best to make me more refined, but more often than not she’ll catch herself as she’s asking, “Do you need a napk….?”, stopping to realize I’ve already eaten the ice cream and a napkin would just be a waste of landfill space. Sometimes, however, I humor her and ask for one and grin.  Which leads me to today’s plight: Do you regularly use a napkin when you eat?

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!