Category: General Musings

Did you even consider going to see “The Lone Ranger” this weekend?

The big movie news over the weekend was twofold. First there was joy in Universal-land with “Despicable Me 2” as it brought in some $142 million over the long 4th of July weekend, a new record for a an animated film over the long, 5-day opening. Hooray! And then there was “The Lone Ranger.” Yup. you know the movie, at least I’m thinking you’ve heard of it. The one with Johnny Depp. He plays Tonto. And there is something about a train over a bridge and it blowing up? Yea, that’s the one. Well, it appears people heard of it, but for the most part no one went to see it as the news for Disney was bad with the movie only making about $48.9 million. Now, that seems like a lot of money, but the budget rumors say the movie cost anywhere between $215 and $250 million to put together, and when all is said and done after worldwide stuff and video it might break even, but if there were Disney dreams of replacing the “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise with something new, they seem to be squashed.

Me, I relaxed a bit this weekend, working on some long-term projects, so I have to say that I didn’t even think of going to see “The Lone Ranger.” Well, there was that and the fact that the movie just didn’t look that good in the trailers, but as this weekend is over, and we get back to our normal schedule, I’m plighting: Did you even consider going to see “The Lone Ranger” this weekend?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you know what PBR stands for?

First off, let me say that I’m not thinking Professional Bull Riders, nor Petroleo Brasileiro Petrobras, the first two results in Google when you, well, Google PBR, when I think of PBR. Should you think of those first, however, I’ll give you a pass and commend you for your knowledge of Brazilian oil, Silvano Alves, or maybe the lyrics from the Garth Brooks song, The Fever, “Keep your mind in the middle while your butt spins ’round and ’round.” Nope, I’m thinking of a fermented malt beverage, originally from the land of “Laverne and Shirley,” though not from Shotz Brewery.

The reason I bring this up is there was a story on the local news, and in the copy the anchor was reading was a reference to PBR. She finished the story, looked at her co-anchor, and said something like “I don’t know what ‘PBR’ is. Sorry, I’m not hip.”

Immediately I thought to myself, “Who doesn’t know what PBR is?”, and then I thought, “Probably a lot of people I suppose, especially folks not from the midwest.” Then I thought, “Who uses the term ‘hip’ anymore?” I think a lot to myself, sometimes.

The news anchor didn’t know what PBR stood for, and so I plight: Do you know what PBR stands for?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Would you ever clip your nails in a church?

So I’m in church as I’m wont to do on a Sunday morning a while ago, with my head bowed down in reverent prayer. Okay, it’s before mass has started, I’ve said a quick prayer, and now the A.D.D. in me is letting my mind wander and look around, noticing the flowers on the alter, scoping out what some people are wearing, and checking out what songs are set to be sung in the “follow-along-with-the-mass” handout (I’m becoming a fan of John Angotti). For this mass my wife and I are in the front row for the section which does leave some extra space to stretch your legs a bit, and then I spot it, out of the corner of my eye. No, it’s not someone in in bad shoes, it’s a toenail. Yup, there on the ground, gross as can be, a toenail. I start to get the heebeegeebees, look around the floor a little more, and yup, there’s a second! Ewwwwww!

After my initial grossness I do what every husband would probably do, I nudge my wife and point out the toenails to her. She, of course, isn’t as grossed out as I would hope, says they look more like fingernails than toenails, and comes up with some cockamamie explanation of someone trimmed their nails, probably wrapped them in a tissue and put them in their pocket or purse for disposal later, and then when the person needed something out of their pocket or purse, the clippings fell out.

Me, I envisioned some heathen, taking off their shoes before mass, pulling out the nail clippers, and giving themselves a pedicure right there, in the pew, before mass started, letting the clippings fly all over the church, but such is my mind.

I was careful not to step on the clippings when I got out of the pew, watched people waking by to see if any of them would step on the clippings, and then decided my plight: Would you ever clip your nails in church?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you hope to live to at least 100 years old?

It’s my 100th Daily Plight post! Sure, they haven’t all been daily, but 100 is still some kind of milestone! And speaking of milestones, for a person, making it to 100 years old seems like the ultimate milestone, or at least a good one.

I don’t know anyone directly who has made it to 100, nor anyone who has been congratulated by Willard Scott on the Today Show, but my family generally makes it pretty long, with my dad getting to 79 and my mom to 82, although I think my mom could have easily made 90 had she not been a smoker. My Aunt Ang right now probably has the best shot at 100 of most people I know alive right now, having eclipsed 90 a while back, and although her eyesight isn’t the greatest any longer, she still boasts of mowing her own lawn and taking care of her daughter’s dogs. My wife’s family also seems to be a long-living bunch of octogenarians, so it looks like her and I will have many more wonderful years of wedded bliss!

Technology as it gets better and better is probably leading us to days when more and more people will be making it to 100 years, although sometimes I think people wonder if those last few years will be worth it, but I think, for the most part, that even if you are 99% sure you will be making it to Heaven, or your version of the “good life afterlife,” it’s that 1% of doubt of what lies beyond that keeps you not really wanting to leave the living, but as Steve Jobs said, “… death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it.”

I’m pretty sure asking a plight if you know anyone over 100 would lead to limited responses in the affirmative, but as I’m at my 100th plight, I’m plighting: Do you hope to live to at least 100 years old?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you wave at mascots on the side of the road?

As a proud member of the fraternity of mascots, I have much respect for everyone who dons the giant costume in support of their team/business/cause, and maybe not as much respect for those who just put on the costume to be freaky, but I do understand the physical challenges of trying to accomplish normal tasks with a giant, costumed head on. I bring this up because although tax season has been over for a few weeks, driving past the Liberty Tax shop the other day I thought about how they hire the people to stand on the side of the road in the Statue of Liberty outfit. Granted the outfit is fairly simple, basically just a robe and a cheesy crown, but they get the kids out there, on the side of the road, trying to lure people in to get their taxes done their and not at the H&R Block down the street.

Having worn a mascot costume before, I have also become a person of mascot envy at times. This stemmed from a stint at a trade show where I found myself in this weird world of the mascot “holding” area, a back suite of offices where all of the various people donning the mascot suits could get set up so as not to freak out any kids that might be around, thus perpetrating that the mascots are actually real characters. The envy stemmed from when, as my costume was made of a giant, plaster head and a body suit that is more like the material from a quilt, thus creating a sauna effect which although good for a Bikram yoga workout, turned me into a sweaty mess, I came across other mascot outfits made of lightweight plastic for the head, complete with a fan, and a body suit made of lightweight fabric that could actually breath. I quickly had dreams of modifying my costume trying to figure out how to put a fan in the head and come up with a cooling suit for underneath the body of the costume. In the end, though, the costume remains the same, and is a good way to drop some water weight when need be.

Back to the Statue of Liberty people.

Driving past, not that tax season is over, I did feel a little bummed because the kids aren’t on the side of the road, because I’m one of those people who always wave at the mascot on the side of the road. I don’t go crazy and honk my horn, well, not always anyway, but driving by I’ll give a quick wave, and feel their pain. I also wondered how many other people wave at the mascots, and so I plight: Do you wave at mascots on the side of the road?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Lincoln

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 2:30 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Lincoln
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Daniel Day-Lewis, Sally Field, Tommy Lee Jones, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, James Spader, Hal Holbrook
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Dreamworks Studios
Release Date: March 26, 2013
Kiddie Movie: A lot of talking. Probably boring for most kids.
Date Movie: More if she likes politics.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: There is some war violence.
Action: Not really.
Laughs: Abraham Lincoln has some great stories.
Memorable Scene: The scene in the theater when Lincoln gets shot.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stands out.
Directed By: Steven Spielberg
Cool things on the Blu-ray: One of the better feature packages with the “Making of,” a nice look at the authenticity, and all of them about the right length without dragging out the uselessness.

First, an admission. When I heard there was going to be a movie called “Lincoln,” I have to admit that I thought it was going to be a biopic, kind of giving us a look into the entire life of Abraham Lincoln. I also admit that I didn’t pay too much attention to the movie, or press, when it was in the theaters, other than hearing it was a really good film, and that Daniel Day-Lewis was incredible in it. Then I watched the Blu-ray, and I finally understand what all of the hubbub was about.

Let’s get to the film.

Now, my first assumption about the movie was wrong – “Lincoln” is not a biopic, but rather a snapshot of a period of Abraham Lincoln’s life, concentrating on the end of his life, and his determination to get the 13th Amendment passed before the end of the Civil War would occur. This was important due to the reasoning for the war and the Emancipation Proclamation, and Lincoln’s fear that should the war end, any slaves that were free might have to go back to being slaves. It’s also not so much about Lincoln, but rather about the politics at the time, with the President being the focal point. Sure, there is some insight into his life, his relationship with Mary Todd (Sally Field), and his two sons, Tad (Gulliver McGrath) and Robert (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), but if you are a fan of political theater, this movie portrays it in all of its grandeur and bickering.

Yes, there is infighting and distrust among Lincoln’s cabinet; Yes, there is a real look at how blacks were pictured in the world at the time; Yes, politics hasn’t changed much in all of these years. And yes, “Lincoln” is a great film, with some of the best performances by all actors, and the brilliant thing Steven Spielberg did with the movie was keep the movie buttoned to the end period in Lincoln’s life so that the movie could stay focused and not lead the viewer in a variety of directions throughout Lincoln’s life that might confuse the end result.

The other brilliant thing – The scene in the theater when Lincoln gets shot. I’ll leave it at that.

If you are looking for an action-packed Civil War movie, this isn’t it, but if you are looking for acting at its finest (Tommy Lee Jones was also incredible), a sad look that politics hasn’t changed in all of this time, and a movie that deserves its accolades, “Lincoln” is it. I will warn you, however, that it is a movie about two and half hours long and there is a lot of talking, so just sit back and enjoy the goodness. It’s 4 ½ stars out of 5.

For a rental or purchase, if you are a fan of the movie, as I was, there is a good chance you will actually get sucked into the extras as part of the Blu-ray, especially on the combo pack. The extra features are nicely done, concise, and cover most everything you would want from how Steven Spielberg came about to making the movie, a well-done but not too technical look at how they kept things authentic, and as a fan of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, it was also a nice, little insight into the mastery of John Williams.

Of many of the Blu-ray packages I have seen, “Lincoln” is one of the best mostly because it doesn’t bog things down with deleted scenes that were best deleted, bad “outtakes” we don’t care about, or filler. A great film, well done extras, and oh hell, I’ll add the half a star and give the Blu-ray combo pack 5 stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you floss your teeth?

I think I can officially say I now floss my teeth. Okay, I suppose I should clarify that a little. I think I can officially say I usually floss my teeth. Okay, I suppose I should define my version of “usually” for this, namely that I floss my teeth, on average, four days a week. Not the greatest, but a start.

It started after my latest dentist visit when, as a non-flosser, the technician girl mentioned that I should floss (as does the dentist every time I get my teeth checked), talked to me about heart disease and some other useless nonsense (at least in my head), but then, the next morning, as I looked in the medicine cabinet, I thought of my mom, an avid user of the dental floss, and how she managed to get through her 70+ years and was buried with her natural set of teeth. No dentures for mom, nope, one of the things she was always proud of was her teeth, and she attributed some of this to flossing. So I grabbed the dental floss, that “Glide” stuff now preferred by dentists instead of the minty-flavored string that my wife had left in the medicine cabinet, and flossed my teeth.

The scary part? The next day I did the same thing, but then came the weekend. I realized I’m kind of like Vivian from “Pretty Woman” in that I don’t like to floss in front of my wife. It reminded me of the scene where Vivian is in the bathroom after eating strawberries, flossing her teeth, and Richard thinks she is doing drugs. Vivian says “You shouldn’t neglect your gums”…”Are you gonna watch?” and for whatever bizarre reason in my head I just won’t floss in front of my wife.

Admittedly I don’t floss every day (weekends are pretty much out as we get ready in the bathroom together), but for the most part I’m averaging about four days a week, usually during the weekday, which is better than zero days a week I suppose. It was the other morning, however, while flossing, that I wondered about most people, and decided I would plight: “Do you floss your teeth?”

That’s it for this plight! I”m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Did you eat too much Easter candy?

It appears that the Easter Bunny really loves me as there was an Easter basket left for me, filled with tons of goodies, most of which aren’t part of my losing weight plan, but that’s okay because upon seeing the basket I figured I would have enough goodies for weeks. Then yesterday came, I got back from the road, and staring at me were the Reese’s peanut butter cup eggs along with the chocolate covered fruit things from Trader Joe’s. And they stared. And they stared. And they stared. They finally stared enough saying, “Dude, you know you want to eat us. You know you do!”

I couldn’t let the candy down so I decided they shouldn’t last for weeks, maybe just a few days, and then proceeded to eat enough to almost give me a tummy ache.

Tummy ache aside, and knowing I blew my allowed food for the day in one shot, they we so good, but I knew that the next day I’d be back on track because, well, it doesn’t hurt to throw caution, or a food eating plan, out the window every now and then.

As my tummy was happily filled yet turning somersaults, I wondered and I plight: Did you eat too much Easter candy?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Would you ever clip your fingernails in church?

Going to Easter mass led to its share of normal Easter observations. Of course that is that initial observation of “Where are all of these people going to church today the rest of the year?” As a person who used to be an Easter and Christmas kind of church-goer, I understand, but even when I was that kind of guy I always wondered what kept all of the people away during the rest of the year, or is it mostly just the laziness attitude like I had back in the day. Oh well.

The next observation is the general Easter outfits. Sure, there are some people who don’t dress up, sometimes wearing jeans, but at least usually not any t-shirts with sayings like “I’m with stupid!” on them, but I also don’t think God is that concerned with your getting all gussied up to pray to him. I think he would rather you be a good person rather than worry about what clothes you are wearing. There were also the share of a little more inappropriate outfits, usually worn by the high school girls, teetering on, or actually crossing the line, into skanky, and as these girls aren’t normally prostitutes, I’m not guessing these are there normal outfits and are actually out for a little bit of shock value.

However, nothing was as shocking as looking down on the floor after a I say in the pew. As you can probably guess from the question for this poll, I looked down and there it was, a nicely clipped fingernail. As I usually am when I see those dental floss thingies on the ground, seeing fingernail clippings just seems a little gross, let alone on the floor at church. Now sure, I know sometimes there are fingernail emergencies, but maybe about a foot or two away from what looked like it was a pinkie fingernail clipping, there it was, the thumbnail fingernail clipping, and all I could think about was the person sitting in church, maybe waiting for mass to start and finished reading their Sunday bulletin, and deciding “You know what? My fingernails need to be clipped. Now where did I leave my fingernail clippers.”

Sure, there is the theory that maybe they actually clipped them into a tissue, and then when fishing said tissue out of their pocket that the fingernail clippings inadvertently fell to the floor, but now I’m getting the queasies just thinking about the used tissue in their pocket.

And so, in the spirit of Easter mass, I plight: Would you ever clip your fingernails in church?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Did you waste any time at work following March Madness?

By now, by my unscientific method, 90% of you who filled our March Madness brackets are already out of the office pool, and in fact were probably out of the running before the Thursday evening games even started. Me, as I’m typing this before the tournament starts, still have hope right now, but will probably post a comment later announcing my super picks are still in the running.

Whether or not you are still in the running, and especially if not because you have some slim hope you will be able to make a comeback, I’m also using a totally unscientific guess thinking that part of your paying attention to March Madness happened in the workplace. There might have been a quick online search to see who won that afternoon game, maybe you had score alerts sent to your smartphone, or you are hardcore and had a window on the computer with the games running, easily hidden for if the boss walked by, or had an app tracking each shot. I will not lie, I will, undoubtedly have checked on things while I should have been working, but I plight: Did you waste any time at work following March Madness?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!