Do You Notice Floss Thingies a Lot?

They’re called “Dental Floss Picks” on the Oral B website, or as I call them, “Floss Thingies,” or as I also call them, “gross litter.” The confusing thing about the Oral B site is that in the top paragraph they discuss how floss picks are a great alternative to dental floss, that they are easier to use to floss your back teeth instead of wrapping dental floss around your fingers, and that “there’s a bonus—the other end of a floss pick features a small plastic pick that can be used instead of a wooden toothpick to remove large food particles that can get caught along the gum line or between the teeth.” But then, as if to contradict itself, at the end of the page, under “Avoid Using Toothpicks,” it states, “Don’t use a toothpick to clean your teeth. Despite the name, a toothpick is not designed for dental cleaning, and it could break off and become stuck between your teeth”

I’m not sure why I ended up on that little rant about floss picks, or at least my analysis of the Oral B website, but what I do know is that I somehow have a knack of spotting those little floss picks everywhere, and it really grosses me out. Sure, I’m all for the benefit of flossing your teeth, my mom flossed her teeth all of her life and in a testament to good oral hygiene had her full set of teeth when she died, but what confuses me at times is the proliferation of the litter that is caused by the floss picks, and my ability to spot them. I guess I also don’t realize that they are so popular, which is probably good for the floss pick industry and making dentists happy, but seriously, are you that person who, in a random parking lot at a day care center, at the post office, at the gas station, at the Wal Mart, decides “I have some food in my teeth” or “I feel the need to floss right now” and pull out the floss pick, do some cleaning that will help promote healthier teeth and gums, and then decide “What am I going to do with this dental pick? I know, I’m going to toss it on the ground so that The Dude on the Right can be grossed out!”

Maybe I need to look up more instead of down at my feet, and sure this plight could have simply been about if you are a dental pick user, but as I saw one the other day on the ground at the post office, I couldn’t help but plight: Do you notice floss thingies a lot?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do you floss your teeth?

I think I can officially say I now floss my teeth. Okay, I suppose I should clarify that a little. I think I can officially say I usually floss my teeth. Okay, I suppose I should define my version of “usually” for this, namely that I floss my teeth, on average, four days a week. Not the greatest, but a start.

It started after my latest dentist visit when, as a non-flosser, the technician girl mentioned that I should floss (as does the dentist every time I get my teeth checked), talked to me about heart disease and some other useless nonsense (at least in my head), but then, the next morning, as I looked in the medicine cabinet, I thought of my mom, an avid user of the dental floss, and how she managed to get through her 70+ years and was buried with her natural set of teeth. No dentures for mom, nope, one of the things she was always proud of was her teeth, and she attributed some of this to flossing. So I grabbed the dental floss, that “Glide” stuff now preferred by dentists instead of the minty-flavored string that my wife had left in the medicine cabinet, and flossed my teeth.

The scary part? The next day I did the same thing, but then came the weekend. I realized I’m kind of like Vivian from “Pretty Woman” in that I don’t like to floss in front of my wife. It reminded me of the scene where Vivian is in the bathroom after eating strawberries, flossing her teeth, and Richard thinks she is doing drugs. Vivian says “You shouldn’t neglect your gums”…”Are you gonna watch?” and for whatever bizarre reason in my head I just won’t floss in front of my wife.

Admittedly I don’t floss every day (weekends are pretty much out as we get ready in the bathroom together), but for the most part I’m averaging about four days a week, usually during the weekday, which is better than zero days a week I suppose. It was the other morning, however, while flossing, that I wondered about most people, and decided I would plight: “Do you floss your teeth?”

That’s it for this plight! I”m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!