Do you floss your teeth?

I think I can officially say I now floss my teeth. Okay, I suppose I should clarify that a little. I think I can officially say I usually floss my teeth. Okay, I suppose I should define my version of “usually” for this, namely that I floss my teeth, on average, four days a week. Not the greatest, but a start.

It started after my latest dentist visit when, as a non-flosser, the technician girl mentioned that I should floss (as does the dentist every time I get my teeth checked), talked to me about heart disease and some other useless nonsense (at least in my head), but then, the next morning, as I looked in the medicine cabinet, I thought of my mom, an avid user of the dental floss, and how she managed to get through her 70+ years and was buried with her natural set of teeth. No dentures for mom, nope, one of the things she was always proud of was her teeth, and she attributed some of this to flossing. So I grabbed the dental floss, that “Glide” stuff now preferred by dentists instead of the minty-flavored string that my wife had left in the medicine cabinet, and flossed my teeth.

The scary part? The next day I did the same thing, but then came the weekend. I realized I’m kind of like Vivian from “Pretty Woman” in that I don’t like to floss in front of my wife. It reminded me of the scene where Vivian is in the bathroom after eating strawberries, flossing her teeth, and Richard thinks she is doing drugs. Vivian says “You shouldn’t neglect your gums”…”Are you gonna watch?” and for whatever bizarre reason in my head I just won’t floss in front of my wife.

Admittedly I don’t floss every day (weekends are pretty much out as we get ready in the bathroom together), but for the most part I’m averaging about four days a week, usually during the weekday, which is better than zero days a week I suppose. It was the other morning, however, while flossing, that I wondered about most people, and decided I would plight: “Do you floss your teeth?”

That’s it for this plight! I”m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!