MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:30 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right
| Anaconda Movie Stats & Links |
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| Starring: | Eric Stoltz, Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, John Voight |
| MPAA Rated: | PG-13 |
| Released By: | Columbia Pictures |
| Kiddie Movie: | Only if you want them afraid of snakes for the rest of their lives. |
| Date Movie: | Good chance of your lady jumpin’ in your lap! |
| Gratuitous Sex: | Nope. |
| Gratuitous Violence: | It’s got some violence, and the Anaconda eats people. |
| Action: | Some, but mostly suspense. |
| Laughs: | Come on, it’s about a big snake that eats people. |
| Memorable Scene: | When Sarone (Jon Voight) gets eaten, and then a little later, un-eaten. |
| Memorable Quote: | Not really. |
| Directed By: | Luis Llosa |
I saw the previews, I saw the billboards, I saw the ads, and all I could figure was that the movie “Anaconda” was about some people who get stuck in a river and get scared by a big snake. What those previews didn’t show was that this movie ends up being more about deceit and naïve people, as well as about survival.
Let me put the story line to you like this. You’ve got these documentary filmmakers heading into Amazon territory in search of the legendary Shirishama Indians. All is going well until they pick up this stranded guy on the bank of the river. This guy, Sarone, played by Jon Voight, is a snake poacher, and ends up being one really bad dude. When the anthropologist, Steven Cale (Eric Stoltz), finds himself unconscious, it’s up to the crew to find the quickest way home. They listen to Sarone,
Sarone (Jon Voight, r.) playfully demonstrates the deadly grip of a baby Anaconda on Warren’s (Jonathan Hyde) finger. he says he knows the way, but his way is to find this big snake first, and then maybe lead the crew to safety. It takes a while, but the crew figure out his plan, unfortunately for them it’s too late because Sarone has a gun and holds them all hostage while he’s hunting (or would that be fishing?) for the Anaconda. Well, things go wrong, some people die, it’s a fight for survival and trying to get home before becoming dinner.
It may sound simple enough, and maybe a boring movie, but it’s not. Acting wise, there isn’t much to speak of, all except for Jon Voight. I haven’t seen a crazed psychopath on this level since most anything Dennis Hopper plays. Voight will have you hating him, but believing him, all the while having
The world’s largest snake: the Anaconda. his own agenda without any regard to who dies. He was great and I’d recommend seeing this movie for his performance alone. Now the other character who did a great job for this film was the snake. This gargantuan animatronic special effect, combined with some real life Anacondas as well, will probably give even people who love snakes the creeps. Yea, sometimes the big guy does look a little fake, but seeing the snake eat a dude and do some other natural things is pretty cool.
I didn’t think they could make a movie about a big snake, and you know, they didn’t. Sure, the Anaconda plays a big role in the action and suspense of this film, but even without the fear of being
Terri (Jennifer Lopez) struggles to help free Danny (Ice Cube) from the deadly grip of an Anaconda. swallowed whole this film could have made it as a suspense film nonetheless. Voight was terrific, so was the snake, I just really wish the rest of the cast could have been as convincing. Don’t get me wrong, they did alright, but the film could have moved up a notch on the acting scale.
So, should you see it? Sure. I haven’t jumped in my seat in a long time, and if any snakes give you the creeps than “Anaconda” will have you covering your eyes (the guy in from of me did). Not the greatest film of all time, but pretty creepy. It’s 3 stars out of 5 for “Anaconda.”
That’s it for this one, I’m The Dude on the Right!!! L8R!!!
Below is an excerpt from his 
I was a little worried going into “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II”, especially since I hadn’t seen the “Half-Blood Prince” nor Part I of the “Deathly Hallows,” but I’ll tell you what – For the final version all you really need to know is that there is this wizard, Harry, and his nemesis is this dude with a smooshed-in-face, Voldermort, and this is their final battle. Ignore the rest of the stuff, the “who loves whom,” the “who is related to whom,” the “what is this stuff with snakes and gremlins and dragons,” and just enjoy a ride of a fun battle of good versus evil where magic wands control their world.
In any case, here it is, the finale, the end, the second part of a book that took two movies to tell the story, it’s “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II.” Pretty much we find Harry, Ron, and Hermione (Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson), whom many of us have grown up with as we have grown up, coming upon the final quest of Harry’s life – to finally battle Lord Voldermort, and maybe find out the truth about his life. Yup, there is adventure as they need to find these three things that can make Voldermort immortal, or something like that, and if they can destroy all of them, they can then, hopefully, get rid of Voldermort once and for all. Through it all we get transported to the roller-coaster ride of the bank vaults that the gremlins protect, a dragon ride, and a really cool battle between statues and, oh, I can’t remember what the big dude are, as wizards throw spells and the army of Voldermort fights the do-gooders of Hogwarts.
The visuals are stunning in the movie, and for a change I opted for a 3-D film and liked it because it wasn’t shot for “Oh look, this is 3-D,” but rather “Here’s a film with a great story, and the 3-D is there to just enjoy.”