Author: Andy Labis

Errors of the Human Body

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:42 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Errors of the Human Body
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Michael Eklund, Karoline Herfurth, Tomas Lemarquis
MPAA Rated: Not rated.
Released By: IFC Films
DVD Release Date: August 13, 2013
Kiddie Movie: They’d be bored. Put them to bed.
Date Movie: If she likes an artsy thriller with some gruesomeness.
Gratuitous Sex: It’s got some sex.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Nah.
Memorable Scene: The dream sequence with the mice.
Memorable Quote: Nothing really.
Directed By: Eron Sheean
Cool Things About the DVD: A weird Q&A between a mouse and a deformed baby thing.

There was a scene towards the end of “Errors of the Human Body” where I simply blurted out, “Cool!”, and then the ending scene continued. I have to say I became a little let down as things wrapped up, hoping instead for total mayhem. Instead I got “shocking,” though not really shocking at all.

The movie gives us Geoff (Michael Eklund). He’s a bit distraught as he is recently divorced, but even more distraught over the loss of his son due to a horrible genetic mutation. With his distraughtness, Geoff makes his way to a German lab to work on a cure to the mutation that killed his son, and finds himself in a twisted world of scientists. There he begins working with Rebekka (Karoline Herfurth), a geneticist who was once Geoff’s intern, and becomes entangled in a boatload of crap when he, of course, hooks up with Rebekka, and also stumbles upon one of Jarek’s (Tomas Lemarquis) mice. You see, Jarek was involved with Rebekka, too, he might be stealing her research, or they all might be in cahoots in some twisted genetic mutation experiments to find a regenerative gene.

Here’s the thing, “Errors of the Human Body” plays out like an artsy thriller, with lots of camera work that pans across scenery, seeming deep conversation, and a story trying to mix up twists and turns, but unfortunately, for me, it lost things when it could have really taken a gruesome turn after Geoff, well, got a bump on his head is the best things I can say without giving too much away.

There were a few things that gave too much foreshadowing for me, but the premise of the story was interesting, and could have really taken a fabulous turn with some viral infections. I also find the dying sequence just a little too long as it didn’t really have the payoff I wanted. In any case it was kind of creepy, especially a dream sequence, and if you want a nice, little thriller, in an artsy kind of way, “Errors of the Human Body” might be a nice rental or DVD to pick up.

In the end it’s about a 3 star out of 5 movie. It had the potential for more creepiness, but I guess they were going for more of an artsy ending. So be it.

Not too much on the Special Features side for the DVD, just a creepy Q&A with a mouse and a deformed baby for the most part.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Does a Waffle Taco Sound Appetizing?

Okay, to be fair, it isn’t really a taco as you are thinking, that being a waffle, shaped like a taco shell, and filled with taco meat, lettuce, tomatoes, and some hot sauce. Nope, Taco Bell has been trying out this thing they are calling a “Waffle Taco” because they, too, are looking to get into the breakfast market. The sad thing is, to me, the thing actually sounds kind of tasty, in a gross kind of way, kind of like the McGriddle concept at McDonald’s.  It seems the “Taco Waffle” is a waffle, and yes, shaped like a taco shell, but filled with breakfast goodness like scrambled eggs, sausage, and a side of syrup. I guess it’s been a hit in Southern California, and Taco Bell is now expanding their test markets to fast food meccas like Nebraska and Tennessee. I’m going to guess it’s going to be a hit in those locals as well, which means, coming soon to a Taco Bell near you, breakfast food, including a Waffle Taco.

I guess my plight question is a little misleading because if you just read it, well, it might sound gross and not tasty, but in any case, I’m plighting: Does a Waffle Taco sound appetizing?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

On the Road

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 2:04 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

On the Road
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Sam Riley, Garrett Hedlund, Kristen Stewart, Kirsten Dunst, Amy Adams, Viggo Mortensen
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: IFC Films
Blu-ray Release Date: August 6, 2013
Kiddie Movie: There is sex, drugs, and jazz. Send them to bed.
Date Movie: If she likes sex, drugs, jazz, and a long, drawn-out tale of boys and a girl travelling across the country.
Gratuitous Sex: Quite a bit.
Gratuitous Violence: Ehh.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Ehh.
Memorable Scene: Sadly even some of the more shocking scenes didn’t shock me.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Walter Salles

I wanted to like “On the Road” a lot more than I did, I think mostly because I think I was supposed to. I guess that’s not a great start for a review, at least if you are thinking of getting the movie, but there was a part of me just waiting for Sal’s travels to end.

“On the Road” is the film adaptation of the novel by Jack Kerouac by the same name. Having not read the book, whether or not the movie is a fair adaptation of the book I couldn’t tell you, but I do know that what seems like should be an interesting story of the travels of a young writer across the highways and byways of these United States turns into, at least for me, an uninteresting after uninteresting story of Sal the writer, played by Sam Riley, and Dean the ex-con, played by Garrett Hedlund, with Dean’s woman, Marylou (Kristen Stewart) along for the ride. Sure, they come across all kinds of characters in their journeys, and sure, all of them being kind of young they all seem to be searching for life’s meaning, but after a while I just wanted to tell them to stop and finally tell me exactly what is going on.

Sure, Kristen Stewart isn’t her normally brooding self that we know and love/hate from “The Twilight Saga” stuff, and she’s actually kind of a spitfire, but as the movie plods along from one escapade to another, I just got bored.

From the critical acclaim that the book has received over the years, I’m thinking that, in the end, it’s probably a story best left to the pages of a Kindle. The movie looked great, especially bringing a lot of the periodness as it was set in the late 50’s, and the scenery of the United States and the parlay into Mexico with a giant joint were beautifully shot, but as Jack/Sal was punching a line into his typewriter at the end, “I first met Dean…”, I was glad the story was over.

Maybe it was my mood at the time, but I doubt it, as usually I can be easily drawn into any story about people meeting fun people, and living on the edge, but not this time. The boys get in trouble, they boys smoke weed, the boys get laid, and the boys see the country. In the end the boys ended up kind of boring to me with a story that’s been told a hundred times before. It’s 2 stars out of 5 for “In The End.” I think I wanted more with the reputation I kept seeing about the book, and maybe that ruined it for me. Nah, I just didn’t like it.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Have You Ever “Vacuumed” a Couch?

Milo on his perch.

The other day I was doing some cleaning around the house! I’m such the dedicated house-husband sometimes! Okay, as I stop tooting my own horn, it wasn’t crazy stuff like dusting or cleaning the windows, just some basic bathroom cleaning, cleaning the fake, hardwood floors, and vacuuming. Like most men, I believe, cleaning around the house isn’t really my cup of tea, but sometimes it’s necessary to get done, and now that I’m married, it happens a little more regularly than it did before I will admit, and usually the floors ends up being my task, although this time I threw in the bathroom for good measure.

The vacuuming was progressing as normal, first the upstairs, then the stairs down to the first level, then the stairs down to the basement, a little in the basement, and then the area rug in the living room. As I’m finishing the area rug I notice some Milo hair on the couch. Milo has his favorite perch on the couch, it’s kind of his TV viewing spot, and also the spot from which he can survey all of his domain. So, at this point, I have a couple of options. Sure, I could just leave the hair on the couch, but that seemed even too lazy for me. Option 2 was to stop the vacuum cleaner, get the handheld vacuum with the attachments, unwrap the cord, vacuum the hair, wrap the cord back up, put the handheld vacuum away, and then continue vacuuming. But then there was option 3. I had a vacuum, albeit a little large, and I pray my wife doesn’t read this Daily Plight, or one of her relatives/friends tells her about this, but yes, I hoisted up the vacuum and proceeded to “vacuum” the couch with our upright vacuum. It seemed a little clunky, but I’ll tell you what, it got the job done, and I think it probably did a better job than the less-powerfull handheld!

As I finished “vacuuming” the couch, I figured this was probably a guy way of handling things, but in the end I just wondered, and so I plight: Have you ever “vacuumed” a couch?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Antiviral

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:48 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Antiviral
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Caleb Landry Jones, Sarah Gagon, Malcolm McDowell
MPAA Rated: Not Rated
Released By: IFC Films
Video Release Date: August 6, 2013
Kiddie Movie:

It’s a weird, twisted movie with lots of needles, blood, sexiness, and all around creepiness. Put them to bed.
Date Movie: Only if she’s into needles, blood, sexiness, and all around creepiness.
Gratuitous Sex: Ehh.
Gratuitous Violence: Some fighting and stabbing with needles.
Action: Ehh.
Laughs: Nah.
Memorable Scene: The dude sporting the herpes of his favorite celebrity just creeped me out.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Brandon Cronenberg
Cool things about the Blu-ray: The features are pretty standard, but it is a nice look at Brandon Cronenberg, and if you are a film buff the Making of… is pretty decent.

What a whacked-out movie. The sad part, there are some, obsessed, fans who would probably actually do the things that happen in “Antiviral.”

Let’s get to it.

Let me start by saying this is not a film for everyone. Things that happen in this movie are mostly slow, deliberate, artsy, and sometimes just downright weird. The premise of the story is that as a society obsessed with celebrities, people can’t get enough, even to the point that companies are able to sell viruses a celebrity may have so that the obsessed fan can have the same herpes, the same illness, the same sore, as their favorite celeb. Syd (Caleb Landry Jones) works for one of these companies selling the virus injections to the public, and he has also figured out a way to smuggle a virus out of the company so he can sell it on the black-market. Low and behold he finds himself with the crème de la crème of a virus, a new sickness that hottie Hannah Geist (Sarah Gadon) has, he injects it to sell it, and when she dies he finds out everyone wants this virus, and they are now after him. Here’s the problem – if Syd doesn’t find a way to get rid of it, a way to cure it as it would be, he’s going to end up with the same fate as Hannah, if he doesn’t end up that way anyway from those trying to get it from him.

So, if Syd thought he was in some twisted, black-market world before, now he is in a world of black-market, corporate espionage, and just out-right creepiness.

Like I mentioned, I’ll bet if Justin Bieber or some other celebrity had herpes, there would be some fan out there who would be happy to “catch” if from him, even if by an injection to the lips with a needle instead of actually kissing The Bieb, and “Antiviral” takes obsession to that level. The movie is set against a white, sterile-looking backdrop, and the acting is as creepy as you would want, from Syd the employee, to Malcolm McDowell who is trying to get to the bottom of the Hannah virus. They all do their parts well, and as I recommended this movie, if you are looking for some high-action thriller, this isn’t the movie, but if you want some weirdness centered around obsessed celebrity fans, this is a twisted look at those fans, and the world that might be built to appease them, including a butcher shop of “celebrity meat.”  It’s 3 1/2 stars out of 5 for “Antiviral,” as long as you know the kind of movie you are in for.

As far as the Blu-ray, it’s got some extras, namely some looking at Brandon Cronenberg (Yes, the son of David Cronenberg, which should give you an idea of where the son gets his ideas from), some “Making of…” stuff that is pretty standard, and the normal “Deleted Scenes” that are better left deleted for the most part.

Enjoy creepiness.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

My Amityville Horror

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:29 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

My Amityville Horror
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Daniel Lutz, Laura Didio
MPAA Rated: Not Rated
Released By: IFC Films
Video Release Date: August 6, 2013
Kiddie Movie: It’s a little creepy and a documentary. Send them to bed unless you want them fascinated with the paranormal.
Date Movie: If she’s a documentary fan.
Gratuitous Sex: Nope.
Gratuitous Violence: Nope.
Action: Nope.
Laughs: Nope.
Memorable Scene: Nothing stood out.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Eric Walter

It’s been a long time since “The Amityville Horror” movie hit the scene, nearly 35 years as a matter of fact, and most people forget, or have never even realized that the story was based on the accounts of a real family, the Lutz’s, and that there are tons of websites on the internet dedicated to the paranormal activity that supposedly went on at the time. As most people forget the story is based on a real family, most people also forget that it also means there were kids involved, and for this documentary, “My Amityville Horror,” Director Eric Walter takes us directly to Daniel Lutz, one of the children in the house, who tells his tales of what went on.

The documentary is interesting in that it doesn’t try to prove anything, nor give a final answer as to what happened in the house, nor try to say if what Daniel says is true or not, but it does a good job of letting Daniel tell his recollection of the events leading up to, while in the house, and the life he had to live after the movie became a sensation. He tells of mostly just trying to get away from the story, how sometimes people would realize who he was and the implications involved with being a back-ended celebrity. Much of the movie brings Laura Didio along for the story, as she early on befriended the Lutz family, and Daniel seems to feel almost the most comfortable with her around, which helps the movie travel along.

Was there a haunting at Amityville? Did the Lutz parents just try to capitalize on being in a house where some horrendous murders took place? This documentary doesn’t answer that, but if you are a fan of the Amityville story, seeing Daniel Lutz relate things from his perspective, even if he wasn’t even a teenager at the time  that things happened, is an interesting look on the events, and how being in that situation can turn a person into the man Daniel Lutz is today.

I felt the documentary was well made, even the “Making of..” featurette wasn’t bad, so whether or not you really believe it, if you do want to just see a decent documentary about a man with a story to tell, “My Amityville Horror” is a 4 star documentary in my book. No, it’s not a horror tale, so don’t expect all kinds of scares, just expect a man and his story.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Eat Cereal for Breakfast?

I waiver on my choice of food for breakfast. As a kid growing up my breakfast could range from about 10 Chips Ahoy! cookies and a tall glass of milk, to Pop-Tarts (Usually chocolate something or other), and then a cereal kick with my favorites being Frosted Flakes, Count Chocula, and the occasional Frosted Mini Wheat, or Cheerios with about a teaspoon of sugar. Growing older things got a little different as for the longest time I was in a “two eggs with a piece of wheat toast” phase, and then my wife convinced me I should go back to cereal, so Cheerios it was, only this time it’s plain, no sugar, that is unless it’s Halloween time in which case I’m back to Count Chocula. I guess I only bring this up because as I was grabbing for my box of cereal this morning, on the Cheerios’ box, it read “Carefully selected oats that can help LOWER CHOLESTEROL.” There was the part of me wondering how they actually carefully select the oats, and I’m always leery of their boasting the lowering cholesterol wondering if it is actually the carefully selected oats causing the lower cholesterol, or is it because when someone who has been having a crappy diet for the longest time, including, maybe, eggs and buttered toast for breakfast, and they start eating healthier, wouldn’t their cholesterol naturally go down? Was their study conducted on people who only changed what they ate for breakfast? Why do I really care since my cholesterol has always been fine?

I guess it doesn’t really matter too much, as long as I’m eating breakfast, but I do wonder, and so I plight: Do you eat cereal for breakfast?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Can You Tie a Decent Knot?

Once again my knot-tying skills have been put to the test, and once again I realize I’m pretty lousy at tying knots. I’m not talking about tying my shoes, I’m good at the bunny-ear thing. Nope, I’m talking about putting up a banner on some posts and needing to secure said banner to some pieces of rope to further secure to the posts. Putting up this banner time after time makes me happy that I don’t go camping because I’m pretty sure I’d have my tent blowing away with even the slightest gust of wind, or huff or puff from a bear. You would think that after having to do this a few times a year that I would take some online course (I think I get overwhelmed not knowing if I need a Klemheist Knot, a Monkey Fist, a nice Yosemite Bowline, or maybe just a Cow Hitch), or ask our staff member, The Mystery Dude, a decorated Platinum Platypus of the highest order, for a tutorial, but alas, the task creeps up on me, and there I am, looping the ropes into these big, blobs of knots, hoping that they hold long enough for the banner to do its bannering.

I must say that I get a little jealous watching those dudes on boats, manipulating the ropes into these fine-looking knots that never seem to come loose, and who knows, maybe in preparation for the next time I have to hang some banners, or go camping, I’ll do some practicing beforehand, but for now the big, blob o’ knots are holding, but that’s not stopping me from plighting: Can you tie a decent knot?

That’s it for this one! I”m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Welcome to the Punch

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:39 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Welcome to the Punch
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: James McAvoy, Mark Strong
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: IFC Films
Released On: July 23, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Please put them to bed – there’s a lot of violence.
Date Movie: She might snuggle.
Gratuitous Sex: More would have helped.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of guys who can’t seem to hit anything with their automatic weapons.
Action: It’s got some chasing.
Laughs: Not really.
Memorable Scene: The slow-motion, guns blazing, kidnapping scene was pretty cool.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stood out.
Directed By: Ridley Scott
Cool Things on the Blu-Ray: It’s got the “Making of…” for you film buffs.

Oh, how I wanted to like “Welcome to the Punch” a lot more than I did. How I really wanted to. Alright, before I give my final analysis, let’s get to the story a bit.

In “Welcome to the Punch” we get Max (James McAvoy). He’s a cop. Okay, he’s technically a detective, but who’s really countin?. We also get Jacob (Mark Strong). He’s a thief who robs banks. No, not your corner bank with a few bucks in it but the major money locations, with enough cash to live off of in a nice lifestyle for the rest of your life. Opening with Jacob in the middle of what is supposed to be his last run, his money-maker as it would be, his “I can retire from this life of crime now and live in a nice retreat in Iceland” kind of heist, he is almost taken down by Max, and during the ensuing fight Jacob get the upper hand, and instead of just shooting Max in the head, Jacob shoots Max in the leg, leaving Max to a life of guilt and gimpiness. So, Jacob gets away and is living a relaxing life, Max is trying to get through his demons, and then, wouldn’t you know it, Jacob’s son ends up living a life of crime, ends up shot, caught by the cops, and now dad has to come and break him out of the hospital.

Yup, you know what that means! Max is now going to get his chance to get his bad guy and get the demons out of his head! So, of course, Jacob comes back, Max is hot on his trail, but what kind of movie would that be? It could have developed into a great “cat and mouse” kind of flick, but nope, the movie folks decide to throw in some conspiracy crap, some government corruption, and a backend storyline about gun-running, or some stuff like that, and of course somehow Max and Jacob find themselves in the middle of it all, and although not becoming the best of friends, their life courses intertwine in their own quests to find the truth about what is really going on with Jacob’s son.

Here’s the thing… For the most part I was enjoying the movie, at least until it became all cookie-cutter on me with the story and some of the action sequences. Sure, there was a lot of low-talking by bad guys complete in nighttime scenes when all bad things happen, and there were an awful lot of bad guys with automatic weapons who really needed some time at a shooting range because, most of the time, these guys couldn’t shoot the broad side of a barn if they were standing ten feet in front of it. And, oh yea, I wondered how Max even still had a job what with his bad leg and mental issues. And, oh yea yea, I was close to wondering why no one really cared the lady cop was missing for the longest time. In the end, though, I was okay with most of that. It was really the “government officials are corrupt and now the bad guy and good guy need to team together to save the world, or at least get revenge” story that annoyed me.

The movie is good-looking, well shot with some great scenes (and yes, complete with the obligatory, slow-motion, show bullet come out the chamber, and here’s the bullet hitting the bad guy complete with blood splatter), and even the acting is good, but all of the Ridley Scott goodness gets lost in the not-really-original story.

The Ridley Scott goodness gets the movie 4 stars, the cookie-cutter story 1 star, so I suppose I’ll average everything together and add ½ star because I’m in a good mood.

With that it’s 3 stars out of 5 for “Welcome to the Punch.” So much potential lost in a story anyone could come up with.

The Blu-ray has a bunch of interviews, and a nice “Making-of” featurette, but unless you are an avid film buff looking for some artsy insight into the character development, you’ll probably skip it.

A decent rental none-the-less – enjoy it for the basic-ness that the movie is.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Love and Honor

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:36 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Love and Honor
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Austin Stowell, Liam Hemsworth, Aimee Teegarden, Teresa Palmer
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: IFC Films
Released On: July 23, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Probably best for the teen girls.
Date Movie: Nope.
Gratuitous Sex: They get it on, but nothing gratuitous.
Gratuitous Violence: Some war scenes, but they kind of look fake.
Action: Not really.
Laughs: Nope.
Memorable Scene: Mickey and Candace just have sex and they she pretty much goes, “Oh, by the way, the cops are looking to arrest you.”
Memorable Quote: Nothing really.
Directed By: Danny Mooney

And now I bring you “Love and Honor,” a movie trying to tell a love story set under the backdrop of the first moon landing and the Vietnam War. Yes, it’s a movie set in 1969, and it looks like the movie folks raided the prop room and found anything that seemed to resemble 1969, from cheesy t-shirts, to an acoustic guitar propped next to the period-piece couch, to the malt shop, to cheesy protest signs, to the afghan that looked like it was knitted by your grandmother, and somewhere along the way found cheesy, protest dialogue to go along with it all.

Let’s start with the story basics…

Dolton (Austin Stowell) and Mickey (Liam Hemsworth) are young soldiers serving in Vietnam. The only thing that keeps Dolton focused on staying alive is the love of his girl back home, Jane (Aimee Teegarden), but sadly she sends him the proverbial Dear Dolton letter telling him it’s over. What to do? Well, if you’re Dolton and you have a week of leave; you head back to the states to win your girl back. What to do if you’re Mickey? You tag along on the trip to help your buddy.

So, our two soldiers find themselves in smallish-town America, albeit with an active war protest movement, and to stave off the angry hordes, or at least avoid the confrontation, Mickey concocts the story that they are deserting, hoping to give enough time for Dolton to reconnect with Jane, maybe even propose, and head back to Vietnam. For Mickey, though, along comes Candace (Teresa Palmer). He’s smitten and now is in a pickle of lying to her, trying to get laid, and then having to leave, and maybe fall in love along the way.

Yup, they are entrenched in war protest central, they have to make life decisions, and through it all Mickey is somehow able to keep this shit-eatin’ grin on his face the entire time, at least so says my assistant, and spout wonderfully awesome lines like “When I was 14 I was just trying to figure out how to get laid.” Granted I was two years old in 1969, but did the pretty boys really use this as a line to get in the girl’s pants back then? Someone who might have been 18 back then please let me know.

Okay, back to the review and summary.

Sadly the movie comes off more like “Let’s put some pretty boys in this movie so some teen girls will watch it and keep saying ‘Oh, he’s dreamy!’ We can build it around the Vietnam war, I mean, who doesn’t like the story of the soldier and his girl?”, when, if the material was done with a different cast and some tighter writing, rather than seeming to try to appeal to the teen girl crowd, it could have really been a look at the conflict of soldiers, the protest movement, and love.

All I know is that from about 5 minutes into the movie I couldn’t wait for it to end, and my assistant gave up after about 20 minutes. There was potential in this movie, somewhere, but it just didn’t find it. It’s 1 star out of 5, although, if you are a teen girl you might give it 4 based on dreamy and shit-eatin’ grininess. I’m sticking with 1 star.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!