Category: Movie Reviews

Bad News Bears

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:53 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Bad News Bears
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Billy Bob Thornton, Greg Kinnear, Marcia Gay Harden, Sammi Kane Kraft, Jeffrey Davis
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Kiddie Movie: I’d say keep anyone under ten at home unless you want them to be a potty-mouth.
Date Movie: She might just be repulsed at Coach.
Gratuitous Sex: Some push-up bras and the team is sponsored by a Gentlemen’s Club.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of kids fighting.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Quite a few.
Memorable Scene: Coach explaining to one of his players why he was at his house.
Memorable Quote: Too many one-liners to pick.
Directed By: Richard Linklater

I have to admit that I was pretty much under the notion that it was totally unnecessary for them to do a remake of “Bad News Bears.” Then I saw the movie and I have to admit I was highly entertained. I will warn you, however, and apparently no one checks the movie ratings, that this version is PG-13, and I an hoping that the dad who brought his to not-too-well-mannered kids who appeared to be around 5 or 6, well, that he has a lot of explaining to do to mom when they start cursing up a storm around the house.

Now I don’t remember the original that well to really comment or compare, I really just remember the scene from “Breaking Training” where Tanner is running around the Astrodome because they wouldn’t let them finish the game. That being said, I’m not going to try to compare them. Let get to the story…

For “Bad News Bears” we get Billy Bob Thornton playing the drunk, Coach Buttermaker. He’s a pest exterminator by day who gets hired by Liz (Marcia Gay Harden) to coach a team of misfits. It seems Liz didn’t like that the lousy kids couldn’t be on a team, did some kind of protest/lawsuit, and now there’s pretty much a bunch of good little league teams, and the Bears. With their first game being a complete massacre, Buttermaker decides their only hope is to get Amanda (Sammi Kane Kraft) to pitch, and the team actually gets a little better. Then of course there’s the bad boy, Kelly (Jeffrey Davis), who ends up coming around after an encounter with rival coach Roy (Greg Kinnear). Yes, you can guess, our rag-tag team of losers eventually learn how to play as a team, Buttermaker realizes that being an asshole coach isn’t really a good way to help kids have fun, and everyone learns valuable lessons about teamwork, friendship, raising kids, and if winning is everything.

Kids insulting and fighting with each other is still funny to this day, and “Bad News Bears” makes the most of it, though they do take it to a level that is probably good for the ten and over crowd, but leave the younger ones at home. Billy Bob is great in this role, similar to his role in “Bad Santa,” just a little nicer I suppose, and the kids in this flick do a great job at messing with each other. In a showing, though, of how times have changed from the original, it appears that being sponsored by a bail bondsman isn’t as bad. There is an ode to “Chico’s Bail Bonds,” but for our 2005 Bears, “Bo-Peep’s Gentlemen’s Club” is our new sponsor, which isn’t a bad thing because they do seem to send some cheerleaders to the game.

I found “Bad News Bears” enjoyable for the older crowd, and I’m sure some parents may be offended at the language and actions of both the kids and their Coach. Lots of chuckles, and couple of good laughs, and just almost two hours of entertainment and I’m giving “Bad News Bears” 4 stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Bachelor

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:38 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

The Bachelor
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Chris O’Donnell, Renee Zellweger, Artie Lange
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: New Line Cinema
Kiddie Movie: They’d be bored.
Date Movie: She might make you got and then she’ll hate it.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Ehh.
Memorable Scene: None.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Gary Sinyor

“The Bachelor” had a pretty cool premise. Chris O’Donnell plays Jimmy. He finds out that in order to get his grandfather’s inheritance, as well as save the pool table factory, he has to get married by his 30th birthday. The problem is that his 30th birthday is about 30 hours away and he’s totally screwed up his relationship with the girl he wants to but isn’t ready to marry, Anne (Renee Zellweger). Since he thinks she’s out of the picture on a trip out of the country he goes on a quest tracking down all of his old girlfriends to make them his bride. I wanted the movie to be funny, even though as a romantic comedy you know exactly where this movie would end up, but there was just something missing. Maybe I just couldn’t fathom how Jimmy could find all of his old girlfriends in the 30 hour span, maybe I just didn’t understand why he couldn’t want to initially marry Anne (sorry, but if I was dating her there would be no hesitation in my face to marry her), maybe the jokes were pretty lame, or maybe I’m just becoming a bitter, single, wondering were my future wife is thirty-something dude. I don’t know, but I was just let down.

Alright, let’s fill in some story blanks. Jimmy and Anne have been together about 3 years. Like I said before, Jimmy’s grandfather dies and leaves the stipulation in the will that to get the 100 millionish dollars Jimmy would have to fulfill some conditions (I did like the “What is this, ‘Bruester’s Millions?'” line), like staying married for 10 years and having a kid within 5. It should be simple except that Jimmy already botched asking Anne to marry him so she is questioning the relationship and is supposedly on her way out of the country. So, Jimmy searches for his old girlfriends (could you find 8 of your old girlfriends in a 30 hour span? He did.), and they all turn him down, mostly through his own bumbling of explaining what was going on. Hmm, I’m thinking for 50 million dollars (figuring I’d get half), hell, I’ll marry him. Anyway, it turns out Anne didn’t go overseas, just with her sister to their parents anniversary dinner, and she realized she really loves him and is on her way back to find him (she doesn’t know about the money). Well, low and behold they find each other (she finds out about the money but realizes he really wants to marry her), and it’s a happy ending.

I don’t know, I’m thinking the movie could have been funnier if Jimmy didn’t have a girlfriend and had 30 hours to find Miss Right because then you could have been routing for a certain girl instead of knowing the ending. The things women would do to win him over could have been hilarious, the running from crazed dudettes could have been more real, and it still could have had a storybook ending.

In the end I was disappointed and with that “The Bachelor” get 1 ½ stars out of 5 from me. I love a good romantic comedy, this just wasn’t one of them.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Baby Mama

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:39 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Baby Mama
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Steve Martin, Sigourney Weaver, Greg Kinnear, Dax Shepard, Maura Tierney
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Universal Studios Home Entertainment
Kiddie Movie: They will be bored and you will probably have to answer where babies actually come from.
Date Movie: It’s a 5 Star movie on The Dudette Scale.
Gratuitous Sex: Cleavage, talk, and pushed up boobies are all you will get.
Gratuitous Violence: Umm, no.
Action: Umm, no again.
Laughs: Probably more for the dudettes who can understand it more than us dudes.
Memorable Scene: The shower scene (Dudes, it’s not what you instantly put into your head).
Memorable Quote: “My avatar is dressed like a whore!”
Directed By: Michael McCullers

I saw “Baby Mama” in the theater, and even though this movie screamed dudette-flick, I enjoyed it. The weird thing is that as I watched the DVD, pretty much everything I thought in the theater crept back into my head, and you know what? I still liked it.

“Baby Mama” is a tough movie to review, but not because of the content but maybe just because I see too many movies. The reason I say that is because as the movie starts out, I was buying the entire process, but the movie shifted to “let’s put in a twist” and then “make the ending obvious mode.” I was already set with the original “obvious ending mode,” but I pretty much hated the one the movie finished with. I suppose we’ll start with the basic story, first…

Tina Fey, she of “Saturday Night Live,” “30 Rock,” and “Mean Girls” fame plays Kate. Kate is a 37 year old business woman who has given up love and children for her career, and although she’s not looking for love, she now wants a baby. Unfortunately for Kate she is cursed with a T-shaped uterus, which I guess means it is nearly impossible for her to conceive a baby, even when she was going the sperm donor/in vitro route. Adoption isn’t an option for her, either, so she ends up looking for a surrogate mother with the help of Chaffee Bicknell (Sigourney Weaver) and her surrogate agency. Enter Angie (Amy Pohler) and Carl (Dax Shepard), two, over-the-top, for no better way to put it, white trash folks, looking for a paycheck. Angie agrees to have Kate’s baby, Angie and Carl break up so Angie moves in with Kate, and we now have a white trash girl living with a female executive, but they both have a lot they can learn from each other, especially Kate as she finds a new man, Rob (Greg Kinnear), while Angie, well, she needs to learn some basic manners and how to sing.

Angie and Kate are bonding as Angie moves along in her pregnancy, and for me the new love interest and Kate’s over-aggressive mother were fun enough, but suddenly Michael McCullers (he wrote and directed the movie), I guess, felt the movie needed some kind of diabolical turn to mix things up. I didn’t need mixing up, and once the mixing up happened I instantly knew how this movie was going to end.

Now that might sound a bit obscure, but I really hate to give this movie away by saying anything else, thus ruining it for most of you, the casual movie-goer. Ughh, I so want to give it away!!!!

So let me get to the good and ignore the bad; Tina Fey and Amy Pohler were fantastic as polar opposites actually needing each other and letting their bond as baby mama and surrogate mama grow. Hooray! Sigourney Weaver was great as the creepy, overly fertile Chaffee Bicknell. And the person who made me crack up the most was Steve Martin as Barry, the hippie/guru/wanting his new store to have the “essence of a shell he found on the beach while he was walking” man. So as far as star-power goes, I’ve got to recommend “Baby Mama,” even for the dudes. For me, well, I was just disappointed the film folks felt they needed to “stir-up” the original story.

Let’s see, me, being disappointed in the ending story, I’m giving the movie 2 ½ stars, but on “The Dudette” scale the movie is probably the perfect length with an uber-happy ending for 5 stars on that scale. I’ll average them together and round up because I loved Steve Martin’s character and Tina Fey’s slutty outfit therefore leaving “Baby Mama” with 4 stars out of 5.

For you dudettes out there, especially those that are mama’s, go ahead and round up your dudette friends and have a dudette DVD viewing party, leaving the kids with your dude, and for you dudes out there, “Baby Mama” isn’t that horrible, and just remember payback can be a bitch when you rent “Iron Man”!

As far as the DVD goes, I’m still in the dark ages, without a Blu-Ray player, so I couldn’t partake in cooler things like getting insights into scenes instantly, without stopping the movie, or having to listen to the entire commentary, and fine, as much as I liked the movie, I don’t think I would be creating clips, “My Scenes” as they would be on the Hi-Def side, but on the standard DVD side, I have to say I was happier with the actual ending, rather than the alternate ending, there were a couple of quick, “Hey, this is how this movie ended up being made!” clips, but I have to say that there were a couple of deleted scenes, that although I can understand why they were deleted, they were funny as hell. Do your self a favor and at least watch the deleted scenes.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

I Am Number Four

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:49 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

I Am Number Four

Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Alex Pettyfer, Timothy Olyphant, Dianna Argon, Teresa Palmer
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment & Dreamworks Studios
Release Date: May 24, 2011
Kiddie Movie: Not too young – teen girls mostly.
Date Movie: Not really.
Gratuitous Sex: Skimpy outfits are all.
Gratuitous Violence: Alien violence, and some hinted at gruesomeness.
Action: Lots of chasing and running around.
Laughs: Not really.
Memorable Scene: Nothing stands out.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: D.J. Caruso
Produced By: Michael Bay

Sometimes a movie seems to try to be a few too many things, as is the case I found with “I Am Number 4.” The premise is fairly simple – There is a group of people left here from another planet, and they have some special powers.  The problem is that their planet is pretty much gone, and these assassin dudes have been dispatched to kill them.  Sounds simple enough.  Now try to make it a “I’m a teenager and have all of these other issues to deal with,” and also leaving some of the characters as caricatures of bad dudes, and a grandiose ending, and you get “I Am Number 4.”

Okay, I made things a little simpler than they should be, but for this movie we have John Smith (Alex Pettyfer).  He seems like your normal, teen, outsider, only he’s an alien.  He has his protector (Timothy Olyphant), but he’s not really one to help John as he’s discovering things like girls, and his abilities.  All of his life he has been on the run from assassins dispatched to kill him from his home planet, and in the world of the internet, things get even harder when your image can pop up at any time when someone snaps a photo and puts it on their Facebook page.  So John can’t be normal, yet he still likes to fall for the ladies, and of course that tends to be a problem when he ends up in his new small town.  The problem is that the bad guys are hot on his trail, there’s some weird backstory about a kid at the school whose dad seemed to be on the trail of our alien visitors, and of course John suffers the same “nerd v jock” attitude in most high school themed movies.

Look, for me, this movie is mostly one for the teen girls, looking for the cute guy with superpowers, and they’ll find that in John.  For the dudes, well, this dude anyway, things got almost too cheesy with the bad guys as they carted around this big monster in a truck and scared little kids as they passed them in their car.  In the end it’s kind of just an okay movie, and I’ll wrap things up with a 2 stars out of 5.

As far as the Blu-ray and DVD, you don’t get too much in the way of extras.  Most of the deleted scenes are better off deleted, although I did like the scene with the Mom, and the bloopers are a waste of DVD space.  I do admit I did like the “Becoming Number Six” featurette, which was kind of a “The Making of…” thing, especially seeing how “blue-screen” kind of scenes ended up becoming what they were in the movie.  In the end there’s nothing that special – you’re getting this set for the movie.

A movie that had potential for a series of films, but one that gets lost in typical “I’m a teen trying to fit in high school” story.  That’s my end take on “I Am Number Four.”

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:35 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Austin Powers:
The Spy Who Shagged Me
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Mike Myers, Heather Graham, Michael York, Robert Wagner, Rob Lowe, and a bunch of cameos.
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: New Line Cinema
Kiddie Movie: Nope.
Date Movie: Sure. She might laugh.
Gratuitous Sex: Lots of jokes.
Gratuitous Violence: Not really.
Action: Not really.
Laughs: Lots of them.
Memorable Scene: The scenes with the “penis” rocket.
Memorable Quote: Too many to mention.
Directed By: Jay Roach

“Mommy, can you explain what was so funny about that spaceship?” That might be one of the many questions your six or seven year old may be asking you if you bring them to see “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me,” and from the audience in the theater when I went, a lot of parents brought the little ones. This movie is rated PG-13 for a reason, and I would say that maybe it’s because a lot of the humor is sexual, although not blatantly, and that would leave a lot of explainin’ to do for your youngin’. Me, I’m over 13 and, well, easily amused, so I didn’t really need that explainin’, I just laughed a lot.

“Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me” seemed to have nearly as much hype as “The Phantom Menace,” at times it seemed even more, and even though no Star Wars, the movie has it’s own merits on an adult level.

The movie opens with Austin Powers recently married to Vanessa, and well, shagging her in a hotel room. But Austin notices something is wrong as he’s using the remote control: He presses “rewind” and Vanessa goes in reverse, he presses “forward” and Vanessa goes forward, he presses “mute” and Vanessa’s mouth moves but nothing comes out (The Dude on the Left seemed to find this a great feature as he chuckled and said “Cool.”), but then problems arise and the previously banished Dr. Evil returns to get back at Powers.

The plot revolves around time travel, but don’t try to get to technical about it, where Dr. Evil goes back to the time when Austin was frozen and steals his mojo (his love power), and Austin is a man who now loves women, but can’t love women. Evil also has new plans to dominate the world, revolving around, as he calls it, the Alan Parsons Project (yes, that being the same name as the group put together by Alan Parsons, and Evil’s son, Scott, brings that up but Dr. Evil is oblivious to it), and the Austin who travels back in time to retrieve his mojo now has to save the world.

Yes, there’s a new babe this time around, this time in the likes of Felicity Shagwell (Heather Graham), and she helps Austin save the world, and find his mojo. All is well with the world again, and we are safe again until Dr. Evil returns again, with Mini-Me (his miniature clone), to once again try to kill Austin and dominate the world.

The movie is a goof, and I mean that in the best sense, with scenes poking fun at the nineties culture as Scott Evil and Dad Evil square up on an episode of Jerry Springer, poking fun at sixties culture with the, well, the entire movie, and making a lot of jokes about sex and bodily functions (two scenes come to mind – one where Austin and Felicity are in a tent, backlit, and from the outside it looks like Felicity is grabbing stuff out of Austin’s butt, and the other is the sequence of people looking up at Dr. Evil’s penis looking spaceship, shifting from one group of people to the next, with the transition word being something slang for penis). And like I said, I’m easily amused, and “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me” amused me.

If you liked the first Austin Powers, I’m thinking you’ll like this installment just the same. Scott Evil is once again great at trying to explain to dear old dad how stupid he is, Mini-Me is a hilarious addition, and Mike Myers ability to play the endearing Austin Powers, the bumbling Dr. Evil, and this time adding in the totally gross Fat Bastard (I swear I almost had to throw up watching Fat Bastard and Felicity in bed together) is just about amazing.

It’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.” I laughed, I cried, I almost vomited. What more can you ask from a movie?

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

American Psycho

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:37 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

American Psycho
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Christian Bale, William Dafoe, Reese Witherspoon
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Lions Gate Films
Kiddie Movie: Don’t even think, or have the slightest inkling, to bring anyone under, well, anyone young.
Date Movie: This might be a better movie to see solo.
Gratuitous Sex: Yup, it has it!
Gratuitous Violence: It’s about a killer. Yes, I would consider it violent, and very gratuitous.
Action: No action really.
Laughs: Mostly because it was so over the top.
Memorable Scene: Any of the killing scenes.
Memorable Quote: Too long to write down, but anytime Patrick is giving his spiel about pop music.
Directed By: Mary Harron

Sometimes a movie is spooky-scary, sometimes a movie is gory-scary, and sometimes a movie is just so over the top that it can be more like a comedy than the shocker it is supposed to be. Such was my feeling after seeing “American Psycho.”

“American Psycho” is adapted from a novel that is supposedly even more twisted than the movie. I wouldn’t know, I never read it. But this is what I do know. “American Psycho” looks good, Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman almost inspires me to get up and do 1000 crunches in the morning, buy some girly facial products, be glad I wasn’t on Wall Street during the eighties, and from now on, whenever I hear some Huey Lewis and the News or Phil Collins, the only image in my head will be of and axe wielding psycho or a threesome, respectively.

I guess the easiest way to put the synopsis is something like this – Like I said, Christian Bale plays Patrick Bateman. He’s a Wall Street kind of dude in the eighties. Simple enough. But the dude is nuts. I don’t mean sits all day and talks to imaginary people or is classified as what most people would consider nuts, I’m talking this dude has too many cards in his deck, and most of those extras have to do with popular music. The problem with these extra cards – they make him need to kill people.

So, you’ve got this Wall Street dude, lunching with his Wall Street buddies, all playing the “I’m better than you” game by flashing business cards and telling which restaurant they could get into, but Patrick takes it another step further by hacking up his friends and women. Alright, so the guy is psycho, and I guess maybe to be totally psycho it has to be way over the top, but can you keep a straight face and not chuckle when our hero is running down an apartment hallway, butt-naked, wielding a chainsaw, chasing his next victim. I just laughed. And maybe that’s the problem with “American Psycho,” maybe it’s just too over the top to be shocking. Sure, it was interested to hear Patrick recite his reviews of some of the top hits of the eighties as he gets ready to behead a victim or two, how underrated some of the earlier work of Huey Lewis was or how Phil Collins really came into his own after he went solo, but it was just so bizarre that I wasn’t freaked out by it, and just couldn’t wait to see how our hero would take out his next victim (I was really looking forward to the nail gun through the head – damn phone call!).

Is “American Psycho” a good movie. I would say it is interesting. It looks good, Christian Bale plays the calm, cool, collected psycho in a way that almost makes being a psycho a cool option, and it does try to touch on how stupid power brokers on Wall Street can act to the rest of us, but it could have been more shocking by maybe being less shocking. I don’t know if that made any sense, but I was just more entertained than shocked, whether that was the intention or not.

“American Psycho” gives a movie with a lot of quality kills, some quality sex, and a new look at popular music in the eighties. It also made me laugh. On a normal scale I would have given “American Psycho” about 2 stars, but add in the triad off kills, sex, and eighties music, well, let’s nock that up a few notches to 4 stars out of 5. So over the top it was funny, I wasn’t really sure if I wasted my money or got my money’s worth. But it did leave an image.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

American Pie 2

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:50 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

American Pie 2 – DVD Review
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Haningan, Chris Klein, Natasha Lyonne, Eugene Levy, Seann William Scott, Tara Reid, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Eddie Kaye Thomas
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Universal Home Video
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want to explain why super glue can be funny.
Date Movie: Sure.
Gratuitous Sex: Lots of talk, a nipple or two, unfortunately none of them were Michelle’s nor Vicky’s.
Gratuitous Violence: Maybe shoving a trumpet up someone’s ass, but that’s about it.
Action: Only boys hoping they don’t get caught by potential lesbians.
Laughs: Just like the first movie.
Memorable Scene: Stiffler’s unrequested golden shower as well as Jim playing the trombone.
Memorable Quote: Jim at band camp: “My name is Petey and I have gigantic balls!” and Jim’s Dad: “Don’t forget your penis cream.”
Directed By: J.B Rogers

I’ve got a couple of questions for you. Did you like “American Pie?” You did. You’ll probably like “American Pie 2.” You didn’t like “American Pie?” Don’t rent or buy “American Pie 2.” It’s as simple as that.

So our favorite characters are fresh out of their first year of college and they’re all looking to party for the next three months, as well as get laid, but when the cops bust Stifler’s summer, kick-off party it’s looking like a boring summer. Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas), though, is extra bummed because he ran into Vicky (Tara Reid) and again turns to his older brother for advice. The brother’s suggestion – rent a beach house for the summer, work during the day and party every night, and by the end of the summer you’ll have a life revelation. So our boys rent a house and work as painters.

Well, kinda like the first movie all of our characters have their problems. Jim (Jason Biggs) is worried because Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) is coming to visit and she’s hoping Jim has learned a little control. Jim, though, knows he still doesn’t have what it takes. Then you’ve got Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), still in love with Stifler’s mom, learning tantric sex to improve his lovemaking. Oz (Chris Klein) is in general okay but a little worried because Heather (Mena Suvari) is over in Europe. And you know what, screw it, I’m not going to explain to you their problems, I’m sure you’ve got your own, but do you get the jokes like you did in the original? Yes, you get the jokes you expect, you even get some that are a little more gross, and you also get the predictable story you probably want, too.

I won’t ruin any of the jokes, although if you did see the trailer for “American Pie 2” you know what Jim’s masturbation problem is this time. And true to form you get Jim’s Dad (Eugene Levy), perfect as the goofy dad who is a great dad and, well, now seems to just want Jim to sleep with Nadia.

Did our boys grow up any? Yes, but not nearly as much as the girls. Tara looks even better, and Alyson Haningan as Michelle is even more adorable in her slightly annoying way. There are some hilarious scenes, some gross scenes, and some boring scenes, but as sequels go “American Pie 2” does its best to keep you interested in the characters (although some you wonder why some are listed so high on the credits, like Mena who is barely on screen) while still has you looking forward to seeing two women get it on.

The DVD version is full of extras that are actually worth having a DVD player (see “Cool Things About the DVD” below), and it still holds up as a comedy about growing up.

I got what I expected and the DVD stuff was worthwhile, so I’m giving “American Pie 2” 4 stars out of 5. Shannon didn’t get naked this time, although, honestly, she’s lost a couple of notches in my book while Tara moved up a few (she didn’t get naked either), but that doesn’t compare to the extended scene of the two dudettes our heroes think are lesbians.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

American Outlaws

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:35 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

American Outlaws
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Colin Farrell, Scott Caan, Ali Larter, Timothy Dalton, Gabriel Macht, Will McCormack, Gregory Smith, Kathy Bates, Nathaniel Arcand, Ronny Cox, Harris Yulin
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Warner Bros.
Kiddie Movie: There’s some violence, but not too bad.
Date Movie: She’ll probably find it stupid.
Gratuitous Sex: Some kissing and talk.
Gratuitous Violence: Some people get shot and beat up.
Action: A few good action scenes.
Laughs: Probably not intentionally, but quite a few.
Memorable Scene: Jesse escaping from the bad guys, or were they the good guys?
Memorable Quote: “She took my dog.”
Directed By: Les Mayfield

Does anybody really know the true story of Jesse James? Does anybody really care? Probably not anymore since the various stories of Jesse James have made him out to be a good guy, a bad guy, kinda funny, kinda dark, and, well, the truth is out there but moviegoers will probably never see it, and you definitely don’t see it in the movie “American Outlaws.” What you do get is an almost comical look at a fake story based around the James-Younger Gang.

For “American Outlaws” you get Jesse James (Colin Farrell) and Cole Younger (Scott Caan). They and their brothers are fighting in the Civil War together, having a grand ole time dodging bullets and “killing the Yankees” which makes their mama proud, but sadly the war comes to an end so it’s time to go home. But back at home times are troubling. The mean, nasty railroad men are trying to buy the farmland but the townsfolk won’t sell. So the mean, nasty railroad men turn up the heat, blowing up some houses and killing Jesse’s mama. Jesse, fresh on the hills of a new romance with Zee (Ali Larter), ditches the chick, rounds up his Civil War fighting buddies, and it’s off to get revenge by hitting the railroad men where it hurts – stealing their money and blowing up their railroad tracks.

Now don’t go to see “American Outlaws” expecting a great western because, well, it ain’t. This is a movie which actually ends up more like a comedy because the things that happen are so stupid, although I don’t think that’s what the movie-makers had in mind. Some cases in point: The James-Younger Gang is a group of nice robbers. If you don’t shoot at them, well, they won’t shoot you – they just want your money. And if you do shoot at them and there are dozens of you, you are all bad shots while Jesse and Cole could probably shoot a man dead from two miles away in a heavy crosswind if need be. Also you can expect the obligatory “guy getting tossed out of the saloon window ending up in a street fight in the rain and mud” scene.

And then, of course, you know Jesse is going to get caught, and then, of course, you know he’s going to get loose, and then, of course, you know it will be in some fun, action-scene kind of way. Now these might seem like bad things, but they are the kind of things that really save “American Outlaws” because it makes you not take the movie so seriously, makes you not really care if the story is true, but if you just sit back, relax, and let the cheesy things make you chuckle you will enjoy the movie a little bit more.

In the end I’ll give “American Outlaws” 2 ½ stars out of 5. The opening scene of Jesse distracting the army while being shot at takes the reality out of the movie right away and lets you know not to take the movie seriously. Let the dorky jokes happen, let the cheesy dialogue cause you to chuckle and groan, and don’t try to understand why Jesse’s gun’s don’t get ruined when his house burns down. Just let things happen.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Hooray for Survivor, Hooray for Chuck! Boo for The Green Hornet, Boo for Flat Tires.

By: The Dude on the Right

Download and ListenDownload the Podcast!

Sure, we’re a week and a day late for this podcast, but that don’t stop us none! Nope, during this podcast episode of our “Weekend Wrap-Up!”, I explain to Stu Gotz how Boston Rob was a great player during “Survivor,” and truly deserved to win. I also give my breakdown of the movie “Thor” to him, but with the summer movie season now upon us, Stu figures he still won’t go and see it, but does have hope for the new “Pirates of the Carribean” flick. Stu sort of had hopes for “The Green Hornet,” but those hopes were quickly squashed, while both of us had the hope of the TV show “Chuck” come to fruition.

I’m excited by the Chicago Bulls and Stu isn’t; Stu had a fun time with the Gotz family and their RV, and I don’t have one; I forgot to send an RSVP and Stu didn’t; Neither of us have tickets to Oprah’s final show, but both of us know how to pronounce library.

All of that and more, and Thanks for listening!

That’s it for this podcast! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Burn After Reading

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:36 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Burn After Reading
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: George Clooney, Frances McDormand, Brad Pitt, John Malkovich, Tilda Swinton, J.K. Simmons
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Focus Features
Release Date: 2008
Kiddie Movie: For the love of your children, leave them at home.
Date Movie: If she likes espionage and is kind of kinky.
Gratuitous Sex: Talk, The Liberator, and a chair.
Gratuitous Violence: Someone carries a gun and it goes off, and I’m not talking about his wiener.
Action: Nope.
Laughs: Tons, once you get into it.
Memorable Scene: Harry might be a psychopathic killer!
Memorable Quote: Too many to quote.
Directed By: Joel and Ethan Coen

And just when you think Harry (George Clooney) is a bad guy in “Burn After Reading,” you just come to realize that he really just wants to make his wife, and maybe some other women, happy.

Such is part of the twisted tale of “Burn After Reading,” a movie from the Coen boys, that takes a little bit of time to get going, but once it kicks in, be ready to laugh, be ready to shriek, and be ready to wonder if a boob job is really worth keeping a government secret.

The basic premise is that Osborne Cox (John Malkovich), married to Katie (Tilda Swinton), works for the CIA, but rather than getting demoted, he decides to quit, much to the dismay of Katie. But Osborne has a plan, and in a weird twist of copying information from a computer, a CD with information that looks like super-secret spy information falls into the hands of Chad (Brad Pitt) and Linda (Frances McDormand). Chad and Linda are trainers at a local fitness center where Linda is obsessed with getting some plastic surgery to maintain her aging physique although she doesn’t have the cash, while Chad is just a dope, who is more fascinated in the game of having a super-secret spy CD, and if some money rolls his way, oh, what the hell?

So Chad and Linda begin their escapade to trade the CD back to Osborne, for a sizeable reward of course, but in the meantime events have been set in motion that will intertwine all of their lives, much to the confusement of the CIA superior dude, played by J.K. Simmons. It turns out that multiple people are sleeping with other people, some divorces are in play, and when government secrets are involved, as is the Russian consulate, things can get really weird, really fast, and as “Burn After Reading” ends up at its conclusion, well, you might wonder who you were really rooting for in this movie. That doesn’t matter because I think they all get what they deserve, except for maybe Chad, who got what he deserved only because he is a dope.

The thing with “Burn After Reading” is that as you are trying to get yourself through the first 30 minutes or so, you will probably be scratching your head quite a bit, wondering why, if he is sleeping with her, and she is looking for love on the internet, and he might be an alcoholic, well, how will these stories intertwine, but let me tell you, the Coen brothers do their best to weave a twisted tale of infidelity, government espionage, and sex furniture, into a fun-filled movie that if you let yourself go with it, and might just give you a laugh that will have that soda coming out of your nose if you take that drink at the wrong time.

I can understand people not liking “Burn After Reading,” but for me, I loved it. I didn’t 5 Star love it, because it did take a while to get moving, but Brad Pitt playing a dope was so spot on, the laugh I got with those in the theater that probably subscribe to magazines like Rolling Stone, Maxim, or Playboy was great, and as preposterous as most everything was in the movie, it just worked so well that I didn’t care once things started rolling. With all of that, and with a lot of weird laughter, I’m giving “Burn After Reading” 4 stars out of 5. It’s all adult fare, and fine, you can probably wait until the movie hits the DVD side, but I laughed a lot. Government espionage meets kinky sex. And Brad Pitt as a dope: If that intrigues you, you’ll probably like “Burn After Reading,” too.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!