Down With Love

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:41 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Down With Love
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Renée Zellweger, Ewan McGregor, David Hyde Pierce, Sarah Paulson, Tony Randall, Peter Spruyt
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: 2003
Kiddie Movie: Little girls might like it, but there’s still some sex things that might be better for teens.
Date Movie: She’ll drag you along and still not like it.
Gratuitous Sex: There’s a remake of a famous talking on the phone scene from the “Pillow Talk” days, but this one is pretty dirty.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Nah.
Memorable Scene: Nah.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Peyton Reed

Alright, I’m not one to know exactly what people think when they chose a film to be in, but you have to wonder if Ewan McGregor longed for his “Moulin Rouge” days and Renee Zellweger longed for her “Chicago” days, looking at “Down With Love” and saying “I get to sing again. Great! Oh, by the way, what’s the story about?” It’s not that “Down With Love” is a horrible film, and I can like a romantic comedy with the best of them, but after revealing the giant plot twist, and giving an ending that would have really showed the empowering of women, the movie went back to being a cookie-cutter romance and finished exactly how you would think it would.

Pretty much here’s how the story goes. Zellweger plays Barbara Novak. She’s just written a book telling women how to control their man. McGregor plays Catcher Block, a womanizing writer able to woo women at a single look. Novak is set to have an interview with Block, but Block keeps blowing her off opting for romantic rendezvous with a variety of women. As such, Novak finds out why Catcher keeps missing their appointments and vows not to speak with him. Catcher’s problem, and that of most of the male population, is that Barbara’s book, titled ‘Down With Love’, is becoming a big hit and women are now starting to withhold sex from their men.

Catcher now knows that the only way to recharge his sex life is to prove the book a fraud, that women can’t live without love, and the only way to do this is to get Barbara to fall in love. Since Barbara has never actually met Catcher, he decides to give himself the name “Zip Martin,” pose as an astronaut, and woo Barbara, and woo he does. Wining and dining, theatre and ballgames, Catcher is doing his best to get Barbara to fall in love with Zip. Yea, yea, yea, in the meantime Catcher is really falling in love with Barbara. Will Barbara find out Catcher’s plan before he can expose her? Will Catcher give up his plan to write the expose because he loves Barbara? Will there be some convoluted plot twist that could have led to a great ending? Will the filmmakers not end the movie at that great ending point and instead keep the movie going with Catcher groveling for Barbara to forgive him? It is for the last question that I just gave up on the movie and dropped it a star.

They say “Down With Love” is supposed to bring back the sex comedies that were present in the 60’s, specifically the movie “Pillow Talk.” The people making the movie seemed to have forgotten to do the math. Let’s see, “Pillow Talk” came out around 1960. Let’s say that most of the people who saw the movie were older than 20. Well, that makes most of the people who could relate to the movie over 60. I’m just guessing that for the most part your typical romantic comedy audience is a female (dragging her boyfriend kicking and screaming), between the ages of 20 to 45. How many of them have seen the movie “Pillow Talk”, let alone know it exists? So, I’m thinking a marketing plan of “Bringing back the sex comedies of the 60’s” really doesn’t relate. What does relate is a good romantic comedy, specifically the comedy part. That’s what gets one dudette to go see it, have her tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and they tell two friends, and all of a sudden you’ve got a hit. There just doesn’t seem to be a reason for anyone to tell two friends to see this movie.

The story fell short, sure McGregor and Zellweger looked the role of the 60’s movie star, but other than some people who haven’t remodeled their kitchens in forty years, who wants to see a romantic comedy set in the 60’s? The bright spot in this movie was the neurotic Peter (David Hyde Pierce), who seemed to be the only comic relief in a movie that really didn’t have potential for any else. Oh well.

Had the movie ended where I thought it should have, I would have stretched and given “Down With Love” 2 ½ stars, but with the cookie-cutter ending I’m knocking this one down to 1 ½ stars out of 5. It just falls short on too many levels.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Bee Movie

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:30 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Bee Movie
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: The voices of Jerry Seinfeld, Renee Zellweger, Matthew Broderick, John Goodman, Chris Rock
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: Dreamworks Animation SKG
Kiddie Movie: It’s better for them.
Date Movie: Only if she’s the mother of the kids your are bringing.
Gratuitous Sex: Vanessa is curvy, but only in a cartoon way.
Gratuitous Violence: Some swatting at bees.
Action: Lots of flying sequences.
Laughs: A chuckle or two.
Memorable Scene: Nothing stood out.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Steve Kickner, Simon J. Smith

About halfway through “Bee Movie” I thought “Enough already. Enough already with the “B” pun jokes. We get it, it’s a movie about bees.” And actually, about halfway through the movie I actually had about enough of the film. I guess I couldn’t put myself into the mindset of a six year old.

In “Bee Movie” we are shows a beehive like no other, complete with families and cars. Okay, fine, I get it, it’s a cartoon. Anyway, Barry B. Benson (voiced by Jerry Seinfeld) and Adam (voiced by Matthew Broderick) have recently graduated and it’s now time for them to decide what job at the hive they want to have for the rest of their lives. Barry, though, thinks life should have more choices rather than one job for life, and on a dare takes a trip with the “Pollen Jocks,” those bees responsible for gathering nectar and spreading pollen, and discovers our human world. He finds our world dangerous, invigorating, and strange, and would be dead if it weren’t for the kindness of Vanessa Bloome, voiced by Renee Zellweger, who is a florist (bloome, get it?), and likes bees. Barry does the one thing he isn’t supposed to do, and that is talk to humans in this case thanking Vanessa for saving his life, and Barry becomes smitten with her, and she seems kind of smitten with him as well. Eventually Barry finds out that us humans have been setting up bee camps and harvesting their honey, honey that is rightly the property of the bees. So, with the help of Vanessa, Barry sets out to sue the food companies that sell honey, not realizing the consequences of returning the honey to the beehives.

Oh, why am I even trying to come up with a synopsis for this movie? In the likes of cartoons the movie is alright, and I’m sure the kids will enjoy the bright colors and flying sequences, but I was rather bored with most of the movie. I also couldn’t believe they invoked a slavery reference of our enslaving the bees.

I have to say, even with all of the publicity for the movie, I was never really excited about seeing the film. The premise seemed cute enough, but not enough to last for an hour and a half, and you can only do so many bee/flower/insect puns without them getting old.

For me I’m giving “Bee Movie” 1 star out of 5, for the kids it’s probably somewhere around a 3 starrer, so I suppose I’ll sort of meld them together and give it 2 stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Bachelor

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:38 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

The Bachelor
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Chris O’Donnell, Renee Zellweger, Artie Lange
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: New Line Cinema
Kiddie Movie: They’d be bored.
Date Movie: She might make you got and then she’ll hate it.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Ehh.
Memorable Scene: None.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Gary Sinyor

“The Bachelor” had a pretty cool premise. Chris O’Donnell plays Jimmy. He finds out that in order to get his grandfather’s inheritance, as well as save the pool table factory, he has to get married by his 30th birthday. The problem is that his 30th birthday is about 30 hours away and he’s totally screwed up his relationship with the girl he wants to but isn’t ready to marry, Anne (Renee Zellweger). Since he thinks she’s out of the picture on a trip out of the country he goes on a quest tracking down all of his old girlfriends to make them his bride. I wanted the movie to be funny, even though as a romantic comedy you know exactly where this movie would end up, but there was just something missing. Maybe I just couldn’t fathom how Jimmy could find all of his old girlfriends in the 30 hour span, maybe I just didn’t understand why he couldn’t want to initially marry Anne (sorry, but if I was dating her there would be no hesitation in my face to marry her), maybe the jokes were pretty lame, or maybe I’m just becoming a bitter, single, wondering were my future wife is thirty-something dude. I don’t know, but I was just let down.

Alright, let’s fill in some story blanks. Jimmy and Anne have been together about 3 years. Like I said before, Jimmy’s grandfather dies and leaves the stipulation in the will that to get the 100 millionish dollars Jimmy would have to fulfill some conditions (I did like the “What is this, ‘Bruester’s Millions?'” line), like staying married for 10 years and having a kid within 5. It should be simple except that Jimmy already botched asking Anne to marry him so she is questioning the relationship and is supposedly on her way out of the country. So, Jimmy searches for his old girlfriends (could you find 8 of your old girlfriends in a 30 hour span? He did.), and they all turn him down, mostly through his own bumbling of explaining what was going on. Hmm, I’m thinking for 50 million dollars (figuring I’d get half), hell, I’ll marry him. Anyway, it turns out Anne didn’t go overseas, just with her sister to their parents anniversary dinner, and she realized she really loves him and is on her way back to find him (she doesn’t know about the money). Well, low and behold they find each other (she finds out about the money but realizes he really wants to marry her), and it’s a happy ending.

I don’t know, I’m thinking the movie could have been funnier if Jimmy didn’t have a girlfriend and had 30 hours to find Miss Right because then you could have been routing for a certain girl instead of knowing the ending. The things women would do to win him over could have been hilarious, the running from crazed dudettes could have been more real, and it still could have had a storybook ending.

In the end I was disappointed and with that “The Bachelor” get 1 ½ stars out of 5 from me. I love a good romantic comedy, this just wasn’t one of them.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Cinderella Man

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 2:24 Long
A Preview by:
The Dude on the Right

Cinderella Man
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Russell Crowe, Renee Zellweger, Paul Giamatti
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Universal Pictures / Miramax
Release Date: 2005
Directed By: Ron Howard

Russell Crowe stars in this movie as boxer Jim Braddock, he’s a real dude, and this movie comes across as kind of a “Seabiscuit” except with a boxer.

Pretty much Jim Braddock was a boxer who was really good, then failed a bit, and then as the depression hit and people were looking for any story of anyone, or anything, who was the underdog fighting their way back, he came along as their vision of hope.

This one looks emotional, has the fabulous Paul Giamatti who has really shown he is the actor to compete with, and has potential to be one of those movies the Academy Award people will forget because it’s in the middle of the year and not in December, sadly.

I hope to catch this one as I always like a good underdog story, and this has the makings, especially with the likes of Ron Howard directing, to be a great movie.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!