Category: Movie Reviews

The Final Member

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:12 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

The Final Member
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Sigurður “Siggi” Hjartarson, Pall Arason, Tom Mitchell
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Drafthouse Films / Cinedigm
Released On: June 17, 2014
Kiddie Movie: They might giggle a lot, but you might want to put them to bed.
Date Movie: I was a little worried when my wife said “I wonder what his penis looks like?”
Gratuitous Sex: Some talk of womanizing.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Only like most people would laugh at penis stuff.
Memorable Scene: The ending scene was awesome, but there were two scenes I won’t mention that were hilarious and might make you cringe if you a man.
Memorable Quote: “He has this great specimen, Elmo.”
Directed By: Jonah Bekhor and Zach Math

Who knew it was so difficult to get a penis donor? That, in essence, is the underlying theme of “The Final Member,” one of the most riveting and at times hilarious documentaries that will make most men cross their legs and give that “protect my junk” gesture with their hands, while women, or at least my woman, will watch in utter amazement at the quest for a penis specimen.

Sigurður “Siggi” Hjartarson is the founder and curator of the Icelandic Phallological Museum, a museum that was started pretty much to save his marriage as Siggi’s fascination and collecting of any penis he could find was driving his wife crazy and over-running the space in their house. Over the 40 years he has collected many a penis, from the teeny, tiny hamster dink to the giant, sperm whale johnson. He also is into wood-carving, carvings, of course, of penises, with clocks, utensils, and a variety of items any man would be proud to display in his man cave. All of this is great and swell, but what his museum was missing is the most treasured of specimens, the homo sapiens.

During “The Final Member” we follow Siggi’s quest for the piece that will make his museum and in fact, his life, complete. You see, Siggi is getting up in his years, and as a man who is proud of his museum he knows that without the human penis it’s just a collection of stuff. Low and behold enter two people, Pall Arason and Tom Mitchell. Pall is an elderly gentleman, an Icelandic legend not only for his adventurous nature, but also for his womanizing. Pall has decided that upon his death he would like to donate his penis to the museum, and Siggi is thrilled because what would be a better way to “complete” the collection than with an Icelandic legend. There is also Tom, however, who states “I felt ever since I was a kid that when the time came I didn’t want my penis to go to waste when I died.”, and has named his penis “Elmo.” He decides, though, that he would like to donate his penis while he is still alive, a fact that makes Siggi curious but also excited because he won’t have to wait for Pall to kick the bucket. Tom, however, is a weird dude, and if you think Siggi is obsessed with the penis, that’s nothing compared to Tom who has come up with how he wants his penis preserved, displayed, and even Siggi says of Tom, “This is a funny guy.”

Sure this is a little bit of a spoiler alert, but the movie does end with Siggi getting “The Final Member,” and the ending triumph scene is awesome. I was so happy for him at the end I almost got a little weepy. I will, however, not spoil two of the best scenes in the movie only to say that yes, they do involve the penises of Pall and Tom.

A lot of documentaries can be boring, drag on, and get preachy, but I was happy to find “The Final Member” a fascinating look at man’s obsession with his penis, blending the oddly serious nature of Siggi’s quest to complete his collection with a mix of humor that, well, goes along the line of how people generally find talking about the penis funny. It’s 5 stars out of 5 for “The Final Member.” Women will just shake their heads watching and wondering why men can be so obsessed with it, while the men will fully understand and maybe pull out the ruler to see if their penis is of legal length.

A great movie, and I now have a new vacation destination, the Icelandic Phallological Museum. The trick, now, will be convincing my wife we should go to Iceland.

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

Sophia Grace & Rosie’s Royal Adventure

MPAA Rated – G
It’s 1:10 Long
A Review by:
–Andy Labis

Sophia Grace & Rosie’s Royal Adventure
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Sophia Grace Brownlee, Rosie McClelland, Amy Louis Wilson, Anna Skellem, Margaret Clunie
MPAA Rated: G
Release Date: May 20, 2014
Distributed By: Warner Bros. Home Video
Kiddie Movie: It’s really who this movie is for, or fans of Ellen.
Date Movie: Only if it’s your husband, and he’s watching it with the kids.
Gratuitous Sex: Um, no.
Gratuitous Violence: Some slapstick.
Action: Some running.
Laughs: Cute laughs.
Memorable Scene: Rosie’s use of her last wish, and Sophia Grace questioning her reasoning.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stood out.
Directed By: Brian Levant
Cool things about the Blu-ray: You can learn about pink, and sing along with the girls.

In the world of “You will get exactly what you’d expect” and “cookie-cutter movie,” I bring you “Sophia Grace & Rosie’s Royal Adventure.” And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

First the back-story, and you can skip this paragraph if you already know who this duo is. Sophia Grace Brownlee and Rosie McClelland became famous for having a video of them singing and dancing to Nicki Minaj’s “Super Bass” go viral. Ellen DeGeneres, never one to shy away from having an Internet sensation on her show, invited them on, they sang and danced, and the Ellen fans loved her. Seeing gold, and because the girls are uber-cute, Ellen kept having them as guests, with Sophia Grace doing most of the boisterous talking while Rosie was just adorable. Then Ellen realized “Let’s have them be correspondents!” and the pair started doing red-carpet reporting, and you would thing the rest was history.

Of course not. Let’s make a movie!

So we get the girls in a fictional movie where, as correspondents for The Ellen DeGeneres Show, they head to Switzelvania to cover the coronation of the new queen. Under the watch of Phyllis Bundt (Amy Louise Wilson), the girls head over on their flight, Phyllis, of course, loses the girls and ends up on her own adventure to get back together with them, and the girls find themselves sneaking into the castle.

At the castle the girls, instead of just being correspondents, are mistaken for nieces for the princesses, and decide to just roll with it. As fakers they get to individually meet the princesses and realize things are a mess in Switzelvania. There’s Princess Imogen (Anna Skellem) who is obsessed with herself, another who is a ditz, and Abigail (Margaret Clunie), the shy one who likes to dress up as a super hero. The girls quickly realize that the best choice is Abigail, but she is far from Queen material, and their new quest is to give her a crash-course in manners and poise.

And hilarity ensues.

Oh, and did I mention there is a magical duck that grants Rosie three wishes?

I know I should say “Spoiler alert,” but if you can’t realize that our heroes save the day, that Abigail becomes Queen after Rosie uses her magic duck, and that Phyllis ends up with a hunk, you do not really understand the meaning of “cookie-cutter” as I mentioned in the opening of this review.

Look, this movie wasn’t made to bring any Academy Award nods, although I’m one to give an award to the duck, but really it’s just a nice, fun movie for fans of Sophia Grace and Rosie, with a cute, happily ever after story, and the girls get to sing and dance. If the movie was being promoted as something fantastic and a must-see I would probably give it 2 stars in terms of originality and acting, maybe even less, but the movie is really being set up as what it is, you will get exactly what you expect if you know who the girls are, and for that I’m going to add a star for 3 stars out of 5. Not the greatest of films, I would have liked a little more originality, but the girls are their adorable selves, and the right princess does become Queen. Get it knowing exactly what you are going to get.

As far as the extras on the Blu-ray combo pack mostly it’s about the singing and dancing department with a featurette of the songs in the movie, and I learned a lot about pink, but for the most part the extras aren’t anything uber-special.

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

Hot Guys with Guns

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:45 Long
A Review by:
– Andy Labis

Hot Guys with Guns
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Marc Anthony Samuel, Brian McArdle
MPAA Rated: Not rated.
Released By: Wolfe Video
Release Date: Video on Demand: May 6, 2014DVD: May 8, 2014
Kiddie Movie: Oh no. Put them to bed.
Date Movie: My wife got sucked right into it.
Gratuitous Sex: A lot of talk, and gay, sex parties.
Gratuitous Violence: There are some guns and fighting.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Quite a few.
Memorable Scene: Nothing stood out.
Memorable Quote: “How’s your head?” “It still hurts.” “You didn’t say the safe word.” “I had something in my mouth.”
Directed By: Doug Spearman

As my wife simply put it: “It’s so bizarre it’s captivating.” The movie is “Hot Guys with Guns,” and yes, I have to agree with my wife.

With an opening scene reminiscent of a James Bond movie, only with dude butts instead of dudette butts, we are introduced to passed-out guys in a room and a weird dude in a mask.

Let’s cut to the heroes of the movie starting with Danny (Marc Anthony Samuel). He’s taking a private investigator class as research for a movie role because, well, the film takes place in California, and, of course, it’s got a dude who wants to be an actor. Then there is his friend/ex Pip (Brian McArdle), who lives with his wacky mom, she who doesn’t like black guys or Mexicans, and Danny is worried about Pip because Pip is getting involved with a dude that Danny doesn’t trust.

As the story unfolds it turns out Pip finds himself at a party where everyone ends up drugged and passed out, with things stolen. It turns out there are Sex Party Bandits out there, and our two heroes want to solve the case, especially now that Danny is learning private eye stuff.

So our heroes get wrapped up in a plot of intrigue and bad guys, a plot that thickens when we find an actor was hoping for a role in a Disney film that was somehow involved in a drugged-up rape, and comedy, mayhem, and crime-solving ensues.

I must say that the first half of the movie had way too much plot development for what was supposed to be a buddy movie in the likes of something like “Lethal Weapon,” and was mostly background for internet surfing, but all of a sudden I was actually wrapped up in the story and wondering how the boys were going to crack the case without getting killed. I laughed, I cringed, and yes, I thought “bizarre.”

Had the movie opened with a tighter first half I could have easily seen myself heading to the 4 ½ star range for “Hot Guys with Guns,” but because it took too long for me to get involved in the story I have to drop it to 3 ½ stars out of 5. It’s not the greatest of acted movies, and there is some bizarreness in a world of gay, sex parties, but for some fun you could do a lot worse. Stick with the movie past the first half and let the bizarreness and fun take hold.

The DVD has some general stuff like some bloopers, but for the most part this one is all about the movie – No, you’re not going to get any real insight into sex parties.

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

“How’s your head?” “It still hurts.” “You didn’t say the safe word.” “I had something in my mouth.”

Everyday

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:30 Long
A Review by:
– Andy Labis

Everyday
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: John Simm, Shirley Henderson
MPAA Rated: Not rated.
Released By: IFC Films
Release Date: April 8, 2014
Kiddie Movie: They’d be bored.
Date Movie: If she’s an artsy film fan, like you.
Gratuitous Sex: There is some sex, but nothing gratuitious.
Gratuitous Violence: Some fighting.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: A chuckle or two.
Memorable Scene: The “Dad Get Out of Jail” party.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Michael Winterbottom
Cool Thing About the DVD: Nothing really.It’s got some deleted and extended stuff.

I don’t know why I generally try to give a warning for these kinds of movies, but I guess the best thing I can generally say, to kick things off, is “Everyday” is an artsy kind of film. The reason I say that is because even though I’m going to give the movie 4 stars out of 5, this definitely is not for everyone. As artsy, there are times of drawn-out scenery shots, scenes of walking/train rides/walking and general “Okay, now look out in the distance with a reflective thought in your head to convey to the viewer your pain,” as well as a lot of dialogue kinds of scenes.

That said, “Everyday” is a nice look at a family struggling through dad’s five years in prison for some drug smuggling.

In the movie we have Ian (John Simm), playing the dude. He seems like a nice enough guy who just got wrapped up in the wrong people. His kids are young, in fact his four kids are played by actual siblings, Shaun, Katrina, Stephanie, and Robert Kirk, and I think the fact they are siblings helps as for many of the scenes they don’t seem to have to “act” that much to show the camaraderie of being a family.

As the movie goes along, we see the family trips to see dad in the pokey, and mom (Shirley Henderson) doing her best to raise the kids and still stay in love with Ian. Yes, there is the proverbial “Is she going to cheat on her hubby” scene, and the oldest boy has a propensity for getting in trouble, and sometimes you might think it would just be easier to break away from dad, but credit to their family for sticking it out.

Eventually dad does get released, and they have that weird “celebration” of “Yay, my dad the criminal got out of jail,” and the family trying to get back together as a family unit, and in the end you just hope they will all be okay.

Artsy? Yes. Well-done? Yes. For everyone? No. The acting is very well done, especially John Simm in that weird role of a dad in jail, but not a bad guy. The movie itself is shot over the course of the five years, which does lend to a more realistic look at the children growing up, although, and I know probably not realistic in the film-making realm for keeping the actors on call for that amount of time, I think a ten-year look at the family might have been a little more drastic in showing the changes, especially in the children, as for the most part, I think the kids could have ended up how they did whether or not dad was in jail. That or maybe start the oldest boy at about 15, so he has to go through high school with dad in jail, rather than his younger years.

As I wrote earlier, “Everyday” get 4 stars out of 5 from me. Well-done, but artsy, so if you can appreciate that type of film, it would be a great get for an evening.

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

Mostly Entertainment: Things From the Past Week

It’s a Trailer for Sophia Grace & Rosie’s Royal Adventure
You either know ’em and love ’em because you are a fan of Ellen DeGeneres, or you will wonder where did these girls come from, but Sophia Grace and Rosie, two little girls who became famous for goofy dancing and being Ellen’s Red Carpet correspondents have a movie coming out. Yup, their fifteen minutes of fame have been parlayed into Sophia Grace & Rosie’s Royal Adventure, out on DVD and Blu-ray on May 20th. It does look cute, for the little girls at least, as Sophia Grace and Rosie become involved in helping a Princess become Queen material. Will they be “one and done” child stars, or did Ellen maybe find the next Mary Kate and Ashley?

DVD Releases from IFC Films
Coming April 8th for your movie player are two releases from IFC Films, Bastards and Everyday. Hopefully we’ll have a review of Everyday posted soon.

Malaysian Flight 370 – When Will We Forget?
The first weekend it was all over the news, the second weekend there are still a few stories, especially as a new report of debris being found pops up, but for the most part we are starting to forget about Malaysian Flight 370, and unless something major happens in the next few days, unless we are directly involved either through loved ones missing or helping to continue to search, it will just be a blip in our memories, a “Did they ever find that plane?” memory that might pop up in our heads at lunch with colleagues one day, . There are a ton of conspiracy theories, from Aliens to black holes, a story going around as the “Startling Simple Theory” was recently debunked, but blips in our memories are what most news stories become.

There’s a Taxpayer Uproar, I Guess
The headline reads “Obama ladies touch down in China amid taxpayer uproar,” and as much as I try to stay up on current events, and did hear about the First Lady’s trip to China, I have yet to hear the uproar. With the Malaysian plane, March Madness, Russia taking over the world, and most people just caring about living their own lives, calling it an “Uproar” might be a little far-fetched. In any case, Michelle Obama and her girls are in China. Hopefully they have a good time, I guess.

Microsoft Office for iPad is Coming March 27th, Maybe
Always one to get their products to market with the latest technology, the story is that Microsoft is going to have a media event on March 27th where they are going to be launching Microsoft Office for the iPad, a mere four years after the first iPad was released, and a mere 3 years and 364 days after most people figured out a way to use their iPad without it. Good luck, Microsoft! Way to stay with the times!

Breaking the Girls

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:27 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Breaking the Girls
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Agnes Bruckner, Madeline Zima, Shawn Ashmore
MPAA Rated: Not rated.
Released By: IFC Films
Release Date: November 19, 2013
Kiddie Movie: For the love of God, put them to bed.
Date Movie: For the love of God, put her to bed, also.
Gratuitous Sex: There’s some girl-on-girl, and girl-on-guy stuff, but it’s pretty lame.
Gratuitous Violence: It’s a murder-mystery movie, so there is some.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: The acting.
Memorable Scene: The bad, being drunk acting.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Jamie Babbit

I really hate writing reviews that bash a movie, and will generally try to find something nice to say, but there are times a movie, in my book, is just bad. “Breaking the Girls” is that movie.

In terms of story we get Sara (Agnes Bruckner). She’s a law student struggling with some money and has to bartend to get by. There’s a weird love-connection between her and Eric (Shawn Ashmore), who’s girlfriend isn’t to thrilled by their gazes at each other. When Sara steals a few bucks at her job, and gets turned in by the girlfriend, her life implodes as she loses her job and gets kicked out of law school. Lucky for her she met Alex (Madeline Zima), who has a lot of money and is freaky. So, yup, Sara and Alex get it on, but not before Sara meets Nina, Alex’s mother-in-law who used to be her lover, and so, with both girls having sworn enemies (or do they?), they make a pact to kill each other’s enemies.

Of course, Alex being the nutty one, carries out the dastardly deed, and then Sara has second thoughts. And of course, of course, we find out Alex isn’t too happy about this, and so she starts to threaten Sara that she better stand up to her end of the bargain, or else. And of course, of course, of course, there is the supposedly interesting plot twist, where things are not as we see, as Eric, who of course, of course, of course, of course, has now firmly planted his relationship with Sara, but then does some investigating and finds out a few things.

Sadly the movie comes across as “I know, let’s have this weak story that has been done before, and mix it with some girl-on-girl action, which has also been done before, and it will be great!” movie. I mean, here’s Sara, the law student, working in a bar, and meets Alex, playing the worstly acted drunk person I have seen in years. Sara goes home with Alex, Alex breaks this crystal vase and Sara doesn’t really think anything of it, and then, I know, “Let’s go to a party!” Sure, it’s all part of Sara’s master plan, but the acting is so bad that I almost was laughing at everyone as the movie went along.

The guy in me wants to try to recommend this movie to other guys on the premise of “If you want some hot girl-on-girl action in a dorky murder-mystery, go ahead and buy/rent ‘Breaking the Girls,’” but sadly even the girl-on-girl action was kind of lame.

Bad acting, a not-really-exciting story, and even some lame girl-on-girl stuff does not make this dude a happy man. And so, I’m not even sure about the ½ star, but I’ll give “Breaking the Girls” ½ star out of 5, if only for the humor at how badly acted the scene of Alex being drunk was.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Vitality

MPAA Rated – Not rated.
It’s 0:55 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Vitality
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Dr. Bruce Lipton, Dr. Hyla Cass, Mari Winsor, Dr. Tim Brown
MPAA Rated: Not rated.
Released By: Virgil Films
Release Date: October 29, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Maybe if you want them to be a health nut, or they might find the poop and pee talk funny.
Date Movie: If she is on a health kick.
Gratuitous Sex: It’s a documentary, but there is talk about sex in the bedroom.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: I did laugh a lot during the fake commercial for “Suprato.”
Memorable Scene: Nothing really.
Memorable Quote: Nothing.
Directed By: Pedram Shojai

Let me say, right off the bat, that the fake commercial for “Suprato” during the documentary “Vitality” was hilarious. That said, “Vitality,” being a documentary about health, doesn’t break new ground, but does reiterate a lot of common-sense ideas most people forget, stressing that our health system is messed up because, in general, it fights the problem with drugs instead of creating lifestyle changes, and that leading a healthy, vitality-filled life begins, for these documentarians, with four key points: Exercise, Diet, Sleep, and Mindset.

As the documentary goes along it touches on each of the subjects, with the diet-side being focused on the too-much sugar debate, that we should eat more veggies and drink more water, and the fact that the problem with most meat is actually the fact that the animals aren’t getting fed healthy diets, thereby passing along their own unhealthiness to us. Exercise delves around the fact that we sit around too much and need to move more, and in regards to sleep, the advice that the bedroom should only be used for sleeping and sex sounds great in theory, but I’m guessing for many a people, with flat-screen TV’s on the wall across from the bed, neither spouse will end up parting with their nightly entertainment nor morning news.

The mindset area of the documentary lets us know that we need to deal with stress a little better, where oddly enough my mom’s advice of “Counting to ten” is actually similar to their advice of stepping back from a situation and letting your mind calm down so you can deal with things in a more rational manner.

For the most part the documentary doesn’t get too preachy, except for maybe the “You should shop at a Farmer’s Market because the food is healthier” segment, and it doesn’t get into too much, for no better way to put it, possible weirdness, at least until there is talk of the body’s “invisible energy field,” which, sure, might sound hokey, but who really knows?

Will “Vitalty” help you become the healthiest of persons? Probably not, but it doesn’t hurt reminding us all that there aren’t too many keys to living a healthy, vitality-filled life. The documentary isn’t going to win any cinematography awards as it is, to put it bluntly, not shot well, but I suppose this one is more about trying to tell its message rather than looking good.

If you need a reminder about living a healthy life, “Vitality” isn’t bad, but for the most part it’s nothing new or groundbreaking. For me it’s a 2 star out of 5 film. It probably could have gone up ½ star with a better look, and maybe another ½ for adding a little more substance, but the beginning where they are just spouting tons of statistics that can always be manipulated to fit your needs turned me off a bit from the start. I guess I wanted a little more from the movie, and that let me down.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!

Grabbers

MPAA Rated – Not rate.
It’s 1:34 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Grabbers
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Richard Coyle, Ruth Bradley
MPAA Rated: Not rated.
Released By: IFC Films
Release Date: November 12, 2013
Kiddie Movie: I think the young teen boys would find it funny, though there is some gratuitous, alien violence and drinking.
Date Movie: If she likes quirky, horror movies.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: Just the alien octopus kind.
Action: There’s a lot of running and chasing.
Laughs: It’s got plenty.
Memorable Scene: Figuring out how drunk you need to be to kill the aliens.
Memorable Quote: “It’s always the quiet places where the weird shit happens.”
Directed By: Jon Wright

Watching “Grabbers,” in addition to being entertained, I have to say I was almost shocked because this wasn’t some cheaply made, looks like a fake “We’re going to get eaten by this giant octopus thing that is actually an alien” movie that you might find on the late-night horror channel. Nope, this movie had some decent effects with the monsters, and sure, some dorkiness was involved, but it was all in good fun!

The movie opens with a meteor through the night sky and something splashing into the sea off the coast of Ireland. We are immediately pulled into the sinister nature of the movie when a fisherman finds his buddy getting impaled and pulled into the sea, and then, as is the case with many an alien-horror-kinda-comedy movie, strange things become afoot in the small village, that of course, will be shut off from the rest of the world by a storm thereby leaving the locals to fight the alien invasion/monsters on their own.

Enter Lisa (Ruth Bradley). She’s the new police officer in the fishing village and is learning the ropes by the fun, usually drunk officer O’Shea (Richard Coyle). Not much happens in this town, but when a whale washes on shore looking like it went through a blender, a lobsterman catches what looks like an octopus that subsequently attacks him, and a quirky scientist realizes said “octopus” is really an alien, we know our little town is in peril. And, of course, with this being a horrorish film, there is no “I must send this out on the internet to show the world” moment. Nope, instead it’s our heroes beating the monster and trying to set it on fire.

Oddly enough our heroes discover the alien can travel on land if it’s raining (of course a giant storm is coming), and also the weakness of the aliens who normally survive on water and human blood, but oddly enough, are allergic to blood with a high enough alcohol content. Lucky for the human race the aliens started their journey in Ireland, where the stereotypical, Irish drunkards are plentiful, thereby not letting the aliens get a stranglehold on us, but to save the town, our officers do have to organize a party for the locals at the pub, which, of course, isn’t too difficult.

Look, “Grabbers” is exactly what it sets out to be, and is highly entertaining at it. It’s got some dorky moments (think decapitations by the aliens), it’s got drunk, Irish people, it’s got the goody-two-shoes girl who discovers alcohol, and it’s got a good time for those in search of a decent “alien octopus discovers it shouldn’t have landed in Ireland” horror movie kind of way. Is the movie “Oscar” gold? Of course not, but if you want some good, horror fun, that might give you a shock or two with a surprise impaling, “Grabbers” is a great find. It’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Grabbers,” being exactly what it is trying to be, and not being too low-budget looking to turn it into too many “Oh, come on!” moments.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Dealin’ With Idiots

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:27 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Dealin’ With Idiots
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jeff Garlin, Nia Vardalos, Bob Odenkirk, Gina Gershon, Timothy Olyphant, J.B. Smoove, Jami Gertz
MPAA Rated: Not rated.
Released By: IFC Films
Release Date: November 12, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Lots of adult humor and some swearing. Put them to bed.
Date Movie: My wife liked the parts she didn’t sleep through.
Gratuitous Sex: Nothing gratuitous.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: I chuckled and laughed from start to finish.
Memorable Scene: Hans running the bases.
Memorable Quote: She’s just a big bowl of “Dear God!”
Directed By: Jeff Garlin
Cool things about the DVD: Nothing.

During “Dealin’ With Idiots” there is a point in the movie when one of the characters is intrigued that Max (Jeff Garlin) will be making a documentary about their little league baseball team, even though Max’s intention is to make a comedy based on the various “characaters/parents” at his son’s events. The thing is, after watching the movie, it might as well have been a documentary instead of a comedy because sure, maybe the character antics are dialed up a notch or two, but if you have ever been to a little league game lately, or heard the stories, I’m guessing the difference between the “real” and the “comedy” isn’t much different.

Let’s get to the movie…

Max is a comedian. He’s kind of famous, or at least he says he is up there in the top twenty of comedians. He’s also having some father/son bonding by hanging with his son, Jack (Max Wright), at his little league games and practices. While in the stands, watching the various parents, he sees comedy gold in a movie based on the parents. With his new-found inspiration, Max decides he needs to do his research by interviewing the various parents, finding out what makes them tick so to speak, all the while reflecting in a series of “moments” with his own father, about raising a son and baseball.

Max begins his research, and we are taken deeper into the lives of the parents and the coaches, finding out things like Coach Ted (J.B. Smoove) lives quirkingly in a trailer park with his own odd groups of friends and their “book” club, that Coach Jimbo (Bob Odenkirk) runs a printing shop and doesn’t follow his own coaching advice, and Hezekiah (Steve Agee) decides to do research of his own in order to write his own movie about little league baseball. I’d say it would be easy to round out the rest of the “idiots,” but that might ruin the movie.  Let’s just says there are lesbians with wonderful parenting advice (Mom: “What does mommy always tell you?” Son: “Go big or go home?” Mom: “Don’t fuck up.”, a “She’s just a big bowl of ‘Dear God’” nanny, the self-proclaimed “Team Mom” who keeps asking for donations and doesn’t know her husband subscribes to S.O.F. (Soldier of Fortune), and Marty (the always great Fred Willard) who has the coolest chair ever, shaped like a baseball mitt. And, of course, there is the normal mom, Max’s wife Ava (Nia Vardalos), who becomes just like the rest of them when it’s time for the game that can take the team to the playoffs.

The movie plays out like a Christopher Guest mockumentary (think “Best in Show”), with Max “interviewing” everyone, but it also has a touching side with the moments of Max and his father (Timothy Olyphant), and with that comment, if you like the “Best in Show” style of humor, or “Curb Your Enthusiasm” for that matter, you will probably like the movie. Me, I found it a quirky and funny look at the nuttiness that can be the parents involved with their children and their sports, and I’m also thinking if you like baseball, and you aren’t one of the “idiots” at your kid’s events, you will find the movie funny. If, however, you are the “idiot,” you will probably wonder, “What’s so funny?”

My wife, who was dead tired and fell asleep while we watched the movie, said, “What I saw was pretty good.” Me, I kept laughing and chuckling throughout the entire film, trying not to wake her. I was originally going to go with 3 ½ stars out of 5, but then I remembered one scene with Hans (Robert  de Keyser) and it made me remember a time we almost got our buddy, Big Cooter, to run around a baseball field during a game, and I’ve got to up the rating a bit. With that it’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Dealin’ With Idiots.” Hopefully you’re not one of the “idiots.”

And, oh yea, I almost forgot the antics of the nutty assistant (there’s an extra scene at the end of the credits – kind of weird), so yes, it’s a solid 4 stars for me.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Curse of Chucky

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:35 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Curse of Chucky
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Fiona Dourif, Brad Dourif, Brennan Elliott, Maitland McConnell, Summer Howell
MPAA Rated: R / Unrated
Released By: Unviersal 1440 Entertainment
Blu-ray Release Date: October 8, 2013
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want them afraid of every doll.
Date Movie: If she likes the horror!
Gratuitous Sex: Some girl-on-girl action, but no nudity.
Gratuitous Violence: Umm, duh.
Action: Some chasing.
Laughs: Achuckle in a horror-movie type.
Memorable Scene: I loved the death scene with the priest.
Memorable Quote: “Yea, the eighties were awesome.”
Directed By: Don Mancini
Cool things about the Blu-ray: The “Voodoo Doll: The Chucky Legacy” and “Living Doll” Bringing Chucky to Life” featurettes are great.

He is the doll that won’t die. Yes, Chucky has been terrorizing people for 25 years now, has seen many iterations since the original “Child’s Play” movie, has sometimes been horror and sometimes horredy, but for “Curse of Chucky” the evil doll is back in all of his evilness, the franchise is back into horror mode, and dammit, I enjoyed it in all its Blu-ray glory.

The story is basically the same, this time starting with the arrival of a delivery at an old house where Nica (Fiona Dourif), she being in a wheelchair, lives with her mom. Yup, it’s a creepy-looking doll, and neither of them think anything of it, and then mom ends up dead. Sure, I could have yelled “SPOILER ALERT,” but really, it’s a Chucky movie, so do I really need to warn you about people ending up dead?

In any case, with mom’s death here comes the rest of the family to support Nica, and convince her she needs to move out of the house. Of course there is a little girl involved who doesn’t find the Chucky doll creepy, of course more people start dying, of course it’s a stormy night, sadly there’s not the obligatory nudity but there is some girl-on-girl action and underwear, of course Nica eventually finds out that it is the Chucky doll doing the killing, and yes, the movie finishes where the franchise can easily continue should they want to keep horror, and the doll, alive.

Is the acting Oscar-worthy? Please, it’s a Chucky movie, although actually everyone does a great job as either the clueless-dude roll (Brennan Elliott as Ian), bimbo roll (Maitland McConnell as Jill), little kid roll (Summer Howell as Alice), and evil (Brad Dourif as Charles Lee Ray and the Voice of Chucky). Something else that is nice is that with the movie being the Chucky franchise, there is actually some money spent on effects, the movie visually looks great, and not a cheap, horror film, and we get some well-done horror music. Then there is Chucky himself, who has come a long way in terms of realism, well, for as real as a doll should act, since the initial “Child’s Play” film as yes, the animatronics are pretty impressive as Chucky just looks a lot meaner rather than cartoon-like Chucky you might remember.

Forget Chucky getting in on with another doll, forget tons of cheesiness, and relish in horror goodness that treats the franchise with the respect a scarred-up, 25 year-old doll deserves. “Curse of Chucky” is horror goodness, there’s a nice surprise at the end, and it’s 4 stars out of 5. Had the girl-on-girl action involved a nip-slip or at least some side-boobage I could have easily seen me getting to 4 ½ or 5 star horrorness, but alas, I’m leaving it at 4.

The Blu-ray combo pack gives fans of Chucky a great look at the history of the franchise with “Voodoo Doll: The Chucky Legacy,” and if you want to know how Chucky looks so awesome, check out the “Living Doll: Bringing Chucky to Life” featurette. The gag reel is a throw-away as far as I’m concerned, but all in all, a decent Blu-ray set of features.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!