Author: Andy Labis

The Beauty Shop

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:45 Long
A Preview by:
– The Dude on the Right

The Beauty Shop
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Queen Latifah, Alicia Silverstone, Djimon Hounsou
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: MGM
Directed By: Bille Woodruff

The first trailer for “Beauty Shop” didn’t really tell much other than Queen Latifah runs a beauty shop and things will go sort of like the “Barbershop” series of movies. The latest trailer, however, shows what is shaping up to be a pretty funny movie.

It seems Gina (Latifah) moves to Atlanta and is working for this fancy-shmancy hairdresser in the likes of Jorge (played to the hilt by Kevin Bacon). When he starts taking credit for her work, she decides to open her own beauty shop, brings in a cast of funny characters as her own hairdressers, including the likes of Lynn (Alicia Silverstone) who used to work with her over at Jorge’s, and now she is developing her own reputation in the hair industry.

The jokes seem to be a lot of what you’d expect for this “Barbershop” offshoot, and I laughed quite a bit during the trailer. Hopefully they aren’t the only jokes.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Beer League

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:26 Long
A Preview by:
– The Dude on the Right

Beer League
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Artie Lange, Ralph Macchio, Anthony DeSando, Cara Buono, Laurie Metcalf, Elizabeth Regen, Jim Breuer, Nick DiPaolo, Tina Fey, Jim Florentine, Joseph R. Gannascoli
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Echo Bridge Entertainment
Directed By: Frank Sebastiano

Just the other day as I was watching “The Karate Kid” on cable, I was wondering to myself, “Self, I wonder what is going on with Ralph Macchio’s career.” Okay, I’m lying because I already know – he’s coming up next in a movie called “Beer League.”

If you listen to Howard Stern you probably already know all about “Beer League” because Artie Lange from the show has a whole lot to do with the movie, from some producing, to some writing, to starring in the film. Pretty much the story is about a bunch of softball dudes who are going to get kicked out of the league if they don’t straighten up their act and play better softball, and hilarity is supposed to ensue.

The trailer that was shown during The Howard Stern Film Festival looked pretty funny, and as a fan of the show, I’ll hopefully be able to catch the flick as long as it opens at my local gigaplex.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Beerfest

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:50 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Beerfest
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Erik Stolhanske, Paul Soter, Jay Chandrasekhar, Steve Lemme , Kevin Heffernan, Philippe Brenninkmeyer
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Warner Bros.
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want them to become beer drinking womanizers.
Date Movie: Only if she is a beer drinking womanizer.
Gratuitous Sex: Lots of gratuitous nudity and a bizarre sex scene.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Quite a few.
Memorable Scene: The destruction of Oktoberfest scene, especially since it led to lots of tops getting torn off.
Memorable Quote: Nothing stands out.
Directed By: Jay Chandresekhar

So there it was, 10:15 in the AM on Saturday, and I was this close to having a private screening of the latest film from the Broken Lizard boys, “Beerfest.” Then two more people came in for the 10:20 showing. From their chuckles and my chuckles, I think the three of us had an okay time at the movies. First the “Beerfest” story…

Todd (Erik Stolhanske) and Jan (Paul Soter) Wolfhouse are brothers. With the passing of their grandfather, they are given the task of taking his ashes back to Germany to the family resting place, and it has to be done during Oktoberfest. They are supposed to meet a man there who would take them to the location to spread the ashes, but they seem confused when the man leads them down a dark alley, and they find themselves at Beerfest, an underground competition of all things beer. While there they discover some family secrets, none too good it seems, and get humiliated at their renewed taste of beer competition. But back in the United States, they make a pact to return one year later and restore the family’s good name.

What to do? They have to assemble a beer-drinking team, and enlist folks they have known from their beer drinking primes. And so we get Landfill (Kevin Heffernan), the beer chugger; Fink (Steve Lemme), the science guy; and Barry (Jay Chandrasekhar), the king of the beer drinking games. And so our quintet of beer men begin their training, drinking mass quantities of beer, perfecting their beer drinking game skills, and finding out that Todd and Jan’s grandfather did steal the recipe for the world’s best beer (which they in turn begin serving at the restaurant), and that their grandmother is a whore.

Eventually tragedy strikes our team, but don’t worry, there are ways to get the team back together, and it is back to Germany where we are treated to competitions like “Mexican,” “The Long Pour,” “Speed Quarters,” “Beer Pong,” and my personal favorite, “Thumper.” Eventually our heroes face their German adversaries in the finals, and maybe get the family name back in the good graces of the German people.

The movie is silly fun, but that is exactly what you would probably expect from the “Super Troopers'” people, and come on, it’s a movie about a fictitious beer tournament that probably isn’t all that fictitious on college campuses everywhere, or at least won’t be fictitious anymore. The acting isn’t all that great, but do you really need great acting where most of the characters are supposed to be drunk most of the time? And you get the other things you might expect, like blatant nudity for no other reason than to just have it; a whacky sex scene; five dudes riding home on a tandem bicycle; bad German accents; good German accents; and a cameo by Willy Nelson.

In the end “Beerfest” wasn’t the greatest of films, but that’s okay. As I was telling The Dude on the Left about it, I pretty much explained that it wasn’t as good as “Super Troopers,” but not as bad as “Club Dread,” so I’m giving “Beerfest” 2 ½ stars out of 5. You will get pretty much everything you expect by seeing this movie, I can easily see myself getting sucked into this movie anytime it is on cable.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Bee Movie

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:30 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Bee Movie
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: The voices of Jerry Seinfeld, Renee Zellweger, Matthew Broderick, John Goodman, Chris Rock
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: Dreamworks Animation SKG
Kiddie Movie: It’s better for them.
Date Movie: Only if she’s the mother of the kids your are bringing.
Gratuitous Sex: Vanessa is curvy, but only in a cartoon way.
Gratuitous Violence: Some swatting at bees.
Action: Lots of flying sequences.
Laughs: A chuckle or two.
Memorable Scene: Nothing stood out.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Steve Kickner, Simon J. Smith

About halfway through “Bee Movie” I thought “Enough already. Enough already with the “B” pun jokes. We get it, it’s a movie about bees.” And actually, about halfway through the movie I actually had about enough of the film. I guess I couldn’t put myself into the mindset of a six year old.

In “Bee Movie” we are shows a beehive like no other, complete with families and cars. Okay, fine, I get it, it’s a cartoon. Anyway, Barry B. Benson (voiced by Jerry Seinfeld) and Adam (voiced by Matthew Broderick) have recently graduated and it’s now time for them to decide what job at the hive they want to have for the rest of their lives. Barry, though, thinks life should have more choices rather than one job for life, and on a dare takes a trip with the “Pollen Jocks,” those bees responsible for gathering nectar and spreading pollen, and discovers our human world. He finds our world dangerous, invigorating, and strange, and would be dead if it weren’t for the kindness of Vanessa Bloome, voiced by Renee Zellweger, who is a florist (bloome, get it?), and likes bees. Barry does the one thing he isn’t supposed to do, and that is talk to humans in this case thanking Vanessa for saving his life, and Barry becomes smitten with her, and she seems kind of smitten with him as well. Eventually Barry finds out that us humans have been setting up bee camps and harvesting their honey, honey that is rightly the property of the bees. So, with the help of Vanessa, Barry sets out to sue the food companies that sell honey, not realizing the consequences of returning the honey to the beehives.

Oh, why am I even trying to come up with a synopsis for this movie? In the likes of cartoons the movie is alright, and I’m sure the kids will enjoy the bright colors and flying sequences, but I was rather bored with most of the movie. I also couldn’t believe they invoked a slavery reference of our enslaving the bees.

I have to say, even with all of the publicity for the movie, I was never really excited about seeing the film. The premise seemed cute enough, but not enough to last for an hour and a half, and you can only do so many bee/flower/insect puns without them getting old.

For me I’m giving “Bee Movie” 1 star out of 5, for the kids it’s probably somewhere around a 3 starrer, so I suppose I’ll sort of meld them together and give it 2 stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Bedazzled

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:33 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Bedazzled
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Elizabeth Hurley, Frances O’Connor
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Kiddie Movie: Some of the talk gets pretty adult, especially the penis size hints.
Date Movie: Only if you want her to see you ogle over Elizabeth Hurley.
Gratuitous Sex: Elizabeth dresses in some nice outfits, but that’s about it.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: A couple of chuckles.
Memorable Scene: The wish sequence as the pro basketball player.
Memorable Quote: “All five of them banged me like a Salvation Army drum.”
Directed By: Harold Ramis

“Bedazzled” isn’t that bad of a movie, or at least an idea, but there were just so many things wrong with this remake that as I tried to think of the good things, well, even Elizabeth Hurley dressed skimpily throughout the movie didn’t even work.

In this movie you’ve got Elliot (Brendan Fraser). If you’re in corporate America, he’s the employee who is always trying to butt his way into your fun with your co-workers. He always tries to be friendly but so much so that you can’t stand him. You dodge him, give him the wrong times to meet you, and just can’t stand him even though all he really wants to be is your friend. He also has no luck with the ladies and the one girl he really likes, Alison (Frances O’Connor), won’t give him the time of day. Enter The Devil, played by Elizabeth Hurley. Easy enough, Elliot gets seven wishes and The Devil gets his soul. But The Devil is, well, tricky, so if you don’t make your wish with utmost detail, The Devil will technically make it come true, but not really how you want it.

Cases in point: Make a wish to be rich and powerful and married to Alison – get to be a drug lord whose wife is cheating on him. Make a wish to be a professional basketball player – get to be better than Michael Jordan but dumber than a box of rocks and with a small penis. Make a wish to be suave and deboner, a writer, a smooth talker, and want Alison to love you – get to be gay. You get the idea. The problem is Elliot never catches on to the Devil’s plan until he has two wishes left (The Devil says he has one wish, that the Big Mac and drink counted as a wish, but I contend that since that wish was before the contract was signed that it doesn’t count – get me Johnny Cochran!), and is just sick of the whole thing. Then he figures his way out of the contract without even knowing it, we get this sappy commentary about good and evil, and in the end Elliot finds the girl of his dreams.

What’s good? Hmm? Well, some of the wish sequences were cute, but you’ve already seen the good parts in the trailers, like when he can speak Spanish and realizes he can speak Spanish. Brendan isn’t bad as the hopeless romantic who doesn’t have a clue, but it just doesn’t push the funny parts to the next level.

What’s bad? Hmm? Elizabeth Hurley is a crappy Devil. Sure, there are parts where she looks good, but she just doesn’t seem to really have any evil in her, at least not in this role. Then there are the dream sequences. Is Elliot really that stupid that it takes him five wishes to figure out the Devil’s plan? I guess so. Then there is Frances O’Connor in one of the worst performances I have ever seen. Sure there are times when she seems sweet and you can see why Elliot would like her, but quite honestly, it seemed like she had no idea what she was supposed to be doing in her role. I’m not saying that it’s her fault, but her character is useless and there are times when it looks like she’s standing there, laughing at the joke, rather than staying in her role.

By the end of the movie, especially with the good versus evil commentary by The Devil to Elliot, I was just tired. The movie was only an hour and a half but it seemed like an eternity (how’s that for a cheesy review-line!). Really, “Bedazzled” just didn’t work on too many levels and that was too bad. It’s 1 ½ stars out of 5. I say wait for cable on this one, or at worst a rental when the movie you really want isn’t in stock.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Becoming Jane

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 2:00 Long
A Preview by:
– The Dude on the Right

Becoming Jane
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Anne Hathaway, James McAvoy
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: Miramax
Directed By: Julian Jarrold

Sometimes I have no problem with the girly-type film, hell I liked “Nancy Drew,” but other than the fact Anne Hathaway is in this film I have no real desire to see it. Supposedly it’s about Jane Austen before she became famous, and how she developed her style because of the things that happened around her.

Look, I’m not saying it doesn’t look like a decent film, it does look like some fun for young girls, but I really don’t like period pieces set across the pond. Take the girls to see “Becoming Jane,” I’ll probably be catching “Rush Hour 3.”

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Because I Said So

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:42 Long
A Preview by:
– The Dude on the Right

Because I Said So
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore, Piper Perabo, Lauren Graham
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Universal Pictures
Directed By: Michael Lehmann

Okay, I know this is totally a chick-flick, and I’m a Mandy Moore and Piper Perabo fan, but so far the only reason I have to legitimize my going to see it is because there doesn’t seem to be any other movies I really want to see that opens the same weekend. I can see myself in the theater right now, with about 20 dudettes, all of them looking at me funny.

The things I have to do to review movies sometimes.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Beach

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:53 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

The Beach
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Tilda Swinton, Virginie Ledoyen, Robert Carlisle
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Kiddie Movie: Not at all.
Date Movie: I saw two couples leave in the middle – leave her at home.
Gratuitous Sex: Sex and nudity and I’m still only giving it 1 1/2 star.
Gratuitous Violence: People get shot and some shark wounds.
Action: Some chasing.
Laughs: The movie.
Memorable Scene: The shark wounds.
Memorable Quote: “We’re in dope heaven!”
Directed By: Danny Boyle

Because I’m usually pretty easy to please, if you put some quality violence, some nice gore, a hot lady or two (getting naked is a plus), and the potential for a good movie, well, everything can suck and I’ll still give it a decent rating. “The Beach” had all of that, but I just can’t get past the scene where Richard (Leonardo DiCaprio) goes nuts. It was at that point that I saw two couples leave the movie, and I wanted to also except I had to see where it would all end up. It ended up with a commercial for Macintosh.

I don’t know, ever since “Titanic” it seems like I’ve seen DiCaprio trying to get out of the teenage heart-throb persona that it gave him. There were the stories of his bar hopping in L.A., there was his role in “Celebrity,” and now there is “The Beach.” As Richard, he narrates his way into Bangkok, where he seems to intentionally over-emphasize the “kok” part when he says it, finding himself sick of home and looking for adventure. Shacking up in a bug-infested hotel, one room next to him holds the hot Francoise (Virginie Ledoyen) while the opposite room holds the psychotic Daffy (Robert Carlisle). While sharing a joint through the wall partition, Daffy tells Richard of this beautiful island paradise, with the coolest beach and the best pot. As Richard’s fate has it, the next day there is a map on his door to the island, Daffy went totally wacky, and Richard asks Francoise and her boyfriend if they want to try and find the island. They go along.

So, yea, they find the island paradise, half inhabited by pot-growing folk ready to kill anyone who invades their plantation, the other half inhabited by a commune of hippie-folk, seemingly self-sufficient until someone makes a run to the mainland when the necessities of home become more important than the beautiful beach. Well, Richard falls for Francoise (there’s a surprise – who wouldn’t?), she falls for him, they get naked in the lagoon, and all is well until a group of folks who Richard slipped a copy of the map to try to show up. Richard is sent to a twisted solitary confinement waiting for them to arrive so he can steal the map back, and in the meantime, well, goes insane.

I suspended my disbelief about the movie up until this point because it was a movie, but when Richard finds himself hallucinatingly traipsing through the jungle after the enemy, my suspension of reality turned to “when is this going to end?”

DiCaprio does a decent job as the thrill-seeking Richard, Ledoven is hot and gets naked, you’ve got a couple of gruesome shark bites, and some folks get gunned down. The movie had potential, but seemed to overdue it on the shock value instead of keeping a little bit of realism. My main case in point on this was Daffy’s suicide. The story was that Daffy slit his wrists, his guts, or maybe his neck. Fine, the dude killed himself, but the room, with blood everywhere, and I mean everywhere, looked like his body exploded rather than just a suicide. Maybe a hopped-up-on-drugs suicide can splatter blood all over a room, what do I know, but it just bothered me.

So, with that, I say wait for cable on this one, even with the blood, gore, sex, nudity, and potential for a good story. It just doesn’t go there. 1 ½ star out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Be Kind Rewind

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:42 Long
A Preview by:
– The Dude on the Right

Be Kind Rewind
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jack Black, Mos Def, Danny Glover, Mia Farrow
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: New Line Cinema
Directed By: Michel Gondry

I have to say that the premise of this movie made me laugh, the trailer left me laugh, but I hope all of it isn’t blown on the trailer.

Jack Black works in a video store where they rent VHS video tapes (already a quarter of the population might be confused about the movie). In any case, one day he becomes magnetized and erases all of the movies. What is the easiest way to replenish the video supply at the cheapest cost? Why recreate and film their own versions of films like “Ghostbusters,” “Robocop,” and “Driving Miss Daisy,” among others. The thing is that the customers love their recreations better than the originals and even though the store is now making a name for itself, there might be some problem of renting “self-made” versions of actual movies.

I do find the trailer amusing, Jack Black looks to be back in the funny, and Mos Def has shows his is good as the straight guy to the comedic dork. I’m actually looking forward to “Be Kind Rewind.”

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Be Cool

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:59 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Be Cool
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Vince Vaughn, Cedric the Entertainer, Harvey Keitel, The Rock
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: MGM
Kiddie Movie: The story is adult. Leave them at home.
Date Movie: Good for everyone.
Gratuitous Sex: It’s PG-13, so mostly just suggestive.
Gratuitous Violence: There is some shooting.
Action: No chase scenes, really.
Laughs: I laughed a lot.
Memorable Scene: Any scene with Sin and his posse.
Memorable Quote: “Unless you want an ‘R’ rating, you can only use the ‘F’ word once. I say ‘Fuck that.’ That’s it.” (Editor’s note: And that was it for the use of the ‘F’ word)
Directed By: F. Gary Grey

I don’t know why, maybe because I never read any books by Elmore Leonard and I haven’t seen “Get Shorty,” so I didn’t have any preconceived notions of how the movie should be, and even though John Travolta didn’t seem that great in this movie, I enjoyed “Be Cool.” From the others reviews I’ve seen, it seems that there goes some more of my movie review credibility out the window. Anyway, here’s the story…
Travolta plays Chili Palmer. It seems he’s pretty much sick of being in the movie business and thinks that maybe the music business is where he should stick his nose, especially since he is acquainted with a rising talent, Linda Moon (Christina Milian), and also the recently widowed record executive Edie (Uma Thurman), whose husband, Tommy (James Woods) was gunned down during a meeting with Chili. Chili takes Linda away from Raji (Vince Vaughn who has yet to let me down), her manager who thinks he’s black and totally overacts the part. And then the trouble starts.

Like normal, things don’t always go as easy as you would like. It seems Linda has already signed a contract with Raji and his boss, music dude Nick (Harvey Keitel), so Chili has to figure out a way to resolve that issue. Also, it appears Edie’s record company owes producer Sin (Cedric the Entertainer) a big chunk of change, but sadly, the company is broke and Sin is threatening that some heads will role if he doesn’t get his cash. There’s also some Russian dudes who aren’t too happy with Chili, and the feds think somehow Chili has some information on the mob in town. Who you gonna call when things are this out of control? Of course, you’re gonna call Steven Tyler, whose clothes you used to wash, and he will somehow save the day. Yes, that is correct, you call Steven Tyler, get him to listen to a tape of Linda, and suddenly things work out in the end. And, oh yea, toss in a gay, Samoan, “wants to be an actor” bodyguard named Elliot (The Rock).

Look, there are way to many plot things going on to have me write a full synopsis, but yes, all of them are intertwined in one way or another, and I thought it was marvelous, especially when it all came full-circle as Nick opens the package at the pawn shop.

I don’t know if this was the intent, and I think it’s the reason I liked this movie so much, but for me this was a movie making fun of the entire music, and for what it’s worth, movie industries. There was Raji, totally overacting the white dude who wants to act black, complete with the red, pimp outfit, and unable to command sounding street. Sin and his gangsta’s so overplayed the gangsta stereotype it was hilarious, and the Russian mob was even over-the-top. Not to mention The Rock who is my first pick for an Oscar next year because even if you have no interest in this movie, he is freakin’ hilarious and a reason to see this movie. All that, and I think I’m back in love with Uma Thurman and I’m not really sure why.

I took the movie for a campy look at Hollywood and had a good time with it. You might not, and obviously a lot of other critics didn’t see it the same way, but I know a lot of people around me were laughing. It’s 4 stars out of 5 for me. Maybe don’t try to take the movie as seriously as other people I suppose.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!