MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:33 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Elizabeth Hurley, Frances O’Connor
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Kiddie Movie: Some of the talk gets pretty adult, especially the penis size hints.
Date Movie: Only if you want her to see you ogle over Elizabeth Hurley.
Gratuitous Sex: Elizabeth dresses in some nice outfits, but that’s about it.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: A couple of chuckles.
Memorable Scene: The wish sequence as the pro basketball player.
Memorable Quote: “All five of them banged me like a Salvation Army drum.”
Directed By: Harold Ramis

“Bedazzled” isn’t that bad of a movie, or at least an idea, but there were just so many things wrong with this remake that as I tried to think of the good things, well, even Elizabeth Hurley dressed skimpily throughout the movie didn’t even work.

In this movie you’ve got Elliot (Brendan Fraser). If you’re in corporate America, he’s the employee who is always trying to butt his way into your fun with your co-workers. He always tries to be friendly but so much so that you can’t stand him. You dodge him, give him the wrong times to meet you, and just can’t stand him even though all he really wants to be is your friend. He also has no luck with the ladies and the one girl he really likes, Alison (Frances O’Connor), won’t give him the time of day. Enter The Devil, played by Elizabeth Hurley. Easy enough, Elliot gets seven wishes and The Devil gets his soul. But The Devil is, well, tricky, so if you don’t make your wish with utmost detail, The Devil will technically make it come true, but not really how you want it.

Cases in point: Make a wish to be rich and powerful and married to Alison – get to be a drug lord whose wife is cheating on him. Make a wish to be a professional basketball player – get to be better than Michael Jordan but dumber than a box of rocks and with a small penis. Make a wish to be suave and deboner, a writer, a smooth talker, and want Alison to love you – get to be gay. You get the idea. The problem is Elliot never catches on to the Devil’s plan until he has two wishes left (The Devil says he has one wish, that the Big Mac and drink counted as a wish, but I contend that since that wish was before the contract was signed that it doesn’t count – get me Johnny Cochran!), and is just sick of the whole thing. Then he figures his way out of the contract without even knowing it, we get this sappy commentary about good and evil, and in the end Elliot finds the girl of his dreams.

What’s good? Hmm? Well, some of the wish sequences were cute, but you’ve already seen the good parts in the trailers, like when he can speak Spanish and realizes he can speak Spanish. Brendan isn’t bad as the hopeless romantic who doesn’t have a clue, but it just doesn’t push the funny parts to the next level.

What’s bad? Hmm? Elizabeth Hurley is a crappy Devil. Sure, there are parts where she looks good, but she just doesn’t seem to really have any evil in her, at least not in this role. Then there are the dream sequences. Is Elliot really that stupid that it takes him five wishes to figure out the Devil’s plan? I guess so. Then there is Frances O’Connor in one of the worst performances I have ever seen. Sure there are times when she seems sweet and you can see why Elliot would like her, but quite honestly, it seemed like she had no idea what she was supposed to be doing in her role. I’m not saying that it’s her fault, but her character is useless and there are times when it looks like she’s standing there, laughing at the joke, rather than staying in her role.

By the end of the movie, especially with the good versus evil commentary by The Devil to Elliot, I was just tired. The movie was only an hour and a half but it seemed like an eternity (how’s that for a cheesy review-line!). Really, “Bedazzled” just didn’t work on too many levels and that was too bad. It’s 1 ½ stars out of 5. I say wait for cable on this one, or at worst a rental when the movie you really want isn’t in stock.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Blast From the Past

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:46 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Blast From the Past
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Alicia Silverstone, Christopher Walken, Sissy Spacek, Dave Foley
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: New Line Cinema
Release Date: 1999
Kiddie Movie: It’s kinda cute, but more a teen/adult film.
Date Movie: Bring her along.
Gratuitous Sex: Nope.
Gratuitous Violence: A funny fight in the bar between Adam and Eve’s old boyfriend.
Action: Nope.
Laughs: Some funny things, but there could have been more.
Memorable Scene: Adam swing dancing and picking up chicks in the bar.
Memorable Quote: Adam to Troy as he’s leaving: “Thanks for always being happy.”
Troy: “Huh?”
Eve to Troy: “Gay.”
Directed By: Hugh Wilson

Sometimes a movie is hilarious, sometimes a movie makes you cry, and sometimes a movie is just cute. “Blast from the Past” had the potential to be all three, but unfortunately didn’t hit on any of them.

The story kinda goes like this: back in the ’60s, Calvin (Christopher Walken), an offbeat scientist, and his wife Helen (Sissy Spacek), who was pregnant at the time, headed to their fallout shelters of all fallout shelters when Calvin thought that the world was being attacked by the Russians. Oddly enough it was just that a plane had fallen onto their house. Adam (Brendan Fraser) is born and spends 30ish years growing up listening to Perry Como, watching “The Honeymooners,” and living in a world constantly stuck in the traditions of the early 60’s. Well, 30ish years later, when they figure all is better, Calvin heads up to the surface to see if things are safe and maybe get some provisions. Well, Calvin gets the shit scared out of him because where their house used to be there’s now a very scary bar, hookers, an adult bookstore, people eating out of the garbage, and people throwing up on the street. Heading back to the security of his fallout shelter, Calvin relates the scary-ness of the world above him to his family. But Calvin gets sick, and mom knows that they need supplies, so she sends Adam up to the surface to find a grocery store and hardware store to get enough food and supplies for the next 30 years. Adam wants to go up their too, but basically to find a chick.

So, up on the surface, armed with 30 year old baseball cards and stocks that are worth millions, Adam gets to experience a world of the ’90s when he grew up in the ’60s. Well, he finds a friend in Eve (Alicia Silverstone), who agrees to help him get the supplies he needs, for little bit of cash, and she ends up falling in love. Adam falls in love, too, but he doesn’t think that Eve loves him, so he still needs to find a wife. Well, Eve takes him to a bar, where one of the funniest scenes in the movie takes place. Oddly enough, this scene has Adam living his 1960s life in the 1990s, but dancing in a bar based on the ’40s.

Well, that’s about all I’ll bore you about the plot. It’s pretty simple, and can be pretty funny, and could probably make you cry, and could be really cute, but no, the movie I think tried to do all three instead of concentrate on one.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’d be a nice matinee film, or a nice one on the couch on video, but the movie didn’t click for me all of the way through. Adam didn’t seem that impressed that Eve’s radio had a digital display and could change channels at the push of a button, we didn’t get to see Adam amazed at the personal-computer in Troy’s (Dave Foley as Eve’s gay, roommate), room, let alone search the Internet for porn. No, a lot of those jokes were just hinted at, and sort of left up to the imagination, but on this afternoon I didn’t want to imagine, I wanted the comedy thrown right in my face.

Brendan did a good job as Adam, with the goofy grin and quirky attitude, not really understanding the ways of the ’90s, and Alicia as Eve, well she wasn’t bad either (and I just love her smile). But, for me, the movie took too long for Adam to get out of the fallout shelter and into the world above him, and in doing so, there wasn’t the time left in the movie to develop the love story as good as a could have, hit on as many of the jokes as it could have, or maybe even teach Adam that the world of the ’90s can be just a little bit more dangerous than the world of the ’60s.

So, should you spend your money? Well, I give the movie 2 1/2 stars out of 5. I think it could have been a lot better, but it was kind of cute.

That’s it for this one, I’m The Dude on the Right! L8R!