MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:33 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Elizabeth Hurley, Frances O’Connor
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Kiddie Movie: Some of the talk gets pretty adult, especially the penis size hints.
Date Movie: Only if you want her to see you ogle over Elizabeth Hurley.
Gratuitous Sex: Elizabeth dresses in some nice outfits, but that’s about it.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: A couple of chuckles.
Memorable Scene: The wish sequence as the pro basketball player.
Memorable Quote: “All five of them banged me like a Salvation Army drum.”
Directed By: Harold Ramis

“Bedazzled” isn’t that bad of a movie, or at least an idea, but there were just so many things wrong with this remake that as I tried to think of the good things, well, even Elizabeth Hurley dressed skimpily throughout the movie didn’t even work.

In this movie you’ve got Elliot (Brendan Fraser). If you’re in corporate America, he’s the employee who is always trying to butt his way into your fun with your co-workers. He always tries to be friendly but so much so that you can’t stand him. You dodge him, give him the wrong times to meet you, and just can’t stand him even though all he really wants to be is your friend. He also has no luck with the ladies and the one girl he really likes, Alison (Frances O’Connor), won’t give him the time of day. Enter The Devil, played by Elizabeth Hurley. Easy enough, Elliot gets seven wishes and The Devil gets his soul. But The Devil is, well, tricky, so if you don’t make your wish with utmost detail, The Devil will technically make it come true, but not really how you want it.

Cases in point: Make a wish to be rich and powerful and married to Alison – get to be a drug lord whose wife is cheating on him. Make a wish to be a professional basketball player – get to be better than Michael Jordan but dumber than a box of rocks and with a small penis. Make a wish to be suave and deboner, a writer, a smooth talker, and want Alison to love you – get to be gay. You get the idea. The problem is Elliot never catches on to the Devil’s plan until he has two wishes left (The Devil says he has one wish, that the Big Mac and drink counted as a wish, but I contend that since that wish was before the contract was signed that it doesn’t count – get me Johnny Cochran!), and is just sick of the whole thing. Then he figures his way out of the contract without even knowing it, we get this sappy commentary about good and evil, and in the end Elliot finds the girl of his dreams.

What’s good? Hmm? Well, some of the wish sequences were cute, but you’ve already seen the good parts in the trailers, like when he can speak Spanish and realizes he can speak Spanish. Brendan isn’t bad as the hopeless romantic who doesn’t have a clue, but it just doesn’t push the funny parts to the next level.

What’s bad? Hmm? Elizabeth Hurley is a crappy Devil. Sure, there are parts where she looks good, but she just doesn’t seem to really have any evil in her, at least not in this role. Then there are the dream sequences. Is Elliot really that stupid that it takes him five wishes to figure out the Devil’s plan? I guess so. Then there is Frances O’Connor in one of the worst performances I have ever seen. Sure there are times when she seems sweet and you can see why Elliot would like her, but quite honestly, it seemed like she had no idea what she was supposed to be doing in her role. I’m not saying that it’s her fault, but her character is useless and there are times when it looks like she’s standing there, laughing at the joke, rather than staying in her role.

By the end of the movie, especially with the good versus evil commentary by The Devil to Elliot, I was just tired. The movie was only an hour and a half but it seemed like an eternity (how’s that for a cheesy review-line!). Really, “Bedazzled” just didn’t work on too many levels and that was too bad. It’s 1 ½ stars out of 5. I say wait for cable on this one, or at worst a rental when the movie you really want isn’t in stock.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!