Author: Andy Labis

Did Your Monday Come too Quickly Today?

This is a quick plight as when my alarm went off this morning I thought to myself “Self, where did this weekend go?” Some of my weekend was fun (I got to play “Pretty Woman,” trying on different outfits for my woman), I did some maintenance work (Electricity is quickly becoming my friend), the Chicago Bears won (Yay!), the Cleveland Browns lost (Boo!), and we had a nice visit with the in-laws. However, in between it all, it seemed to go very fast, although I’m guessing that Milo’s being on high alert last night, softly barking at most every noise, didn’t help as my Fitbit said my “Sleep Efficiency” was a whopping 91%.

In any case another weekend is over, Paul Conrad is telling me on the WGN Morning News that it should be a pretty nice week weather-wise, and for me my Monday has come too quickly. And so I plight: Did your Monday come too quickly today?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Have You Ever Been “Cuckoo” from Alcohol?

Judge Judy is so wise. This morning she was hearing the case of two young ladies, Girl A who was suing Girl B because Girl B had her charged with assault. Yup, Girl B was drunk and accused Girl A of cheating with her fiancé. Girl A was not drunk, Girl B attacked Girl A, there was slippage, a bottle, and blood. Also, as the original case was thrown out of court, Girl B was countersuing Girl A for the assault and her hospital bills. As this is a Judge Judy episode, you can count on one of the participants being ill-prepared for Her Judgeness, as was Girl B, utilizing a picture on her flip, cell phone to try to support her case, but the judge would have none of this. Also enter Girl B’s mother, trying to support her daughter, but it’s never good when the Judge says your daughter has a drinking problem and was “Cuckoo from alcohol.”

Well, Judge Judy would have none of Girl B’s complaining and awarded Girl A $2,500 pretty much because Girl B was drunk. I remember most of my college days, and there was a little drinking involved, but “cuckoo”-ness, well, my lips remain sealed, and I was never on Judge Judy to have her tell me so. I do wonder, however, and so I plight: Have you ever been “cuckoo” from alcohol?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Are you a fan of the TV show “Survivor?”

It’s the 25th season for “Survivor.” Yes, I know that doesn’t mean it’s been on 25 years as it’s doubled-up through the TV years, but the first season was in 2000 with the one person most people can probably name from “Survivor,” Richard Hatch. I’ve been there since Season 1, Episode 1, and although some seasons were lamer than others, I’m still fascinated by the game dynamic and from the onset of this season’s premiere, set in the Philippines, I’m sucked right back in. Zane goes down as another “first person voted off,” you know, those people you will never remember were on “Survivor,” and who am I kidding, unless you a huge fan, you pretty much don’t remember anyone who was on the show, except maybe that girl who is on “The View” along with the dude who didn’t pay his taxes (Yes, Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Richard Hatch).

They have tried to shake things up through the years with your “fan-favorites” type episodes, occasionally bringing back heroes or villains, and this season brings back a few of those who had to leave the show because of various reasons, like Michael who is the dude who fell in the fire, but for the most part it’s about the group of new people trying to figure out a way to win the million dollars, which I think is now too low of a prize and should be upped to about five million if they really want to bring out the competitive streak in most people.

In any case, I’m back into the show. Zane was seeming like a smart player all until his strategy went a little too far, telling the other band-mates he thought Russell might have an immunity idol, and thus it turned Zane being ousted, and another season of “Survivor” set on my DVR for weekly viewing. And so I plight: Are you a fan of the TV show “Survivor?”

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Does Your Freezer Have a Light in It?

Sometimes my plights are of the delayed, inspired kind, as is today’s. As I reached into the freezer this morning the light went on. No, not the bulb over my head with a brilliant idea, but the bulb inside the freezer, bringing a gentle glow with which to assist my digging out a frozen product from the rear of the icebox. At that time I remembered a post from a friend on Facebook asking “Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?” There were a variety of responses, some thinking because it’s too cold (not true), some reflecting that they have a light in their freezer, and some wishing they had one. A quick perusal of the internet doesn’t come up with any definitive reason for there sometimes being a light and sometimes not, but I’m just simply going with it comes down to money. I’ll also bet most people don’t realize they have one or not unless they are trying to find something at night to snack on, probably ice cream, in a dark kitchen, and realize they can’t see anything in the freezer when they open the door so they have to open the refrigerator door to assist their diminished sight.

In any case, thanks to Jill and the light bulb turning on in my freezer this morning, my plight is this: Does your freezer have a light in it?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

 

Are You a Good and God Fearing Individual?

If you are a good and God fearing individual I might have an opportunity for you! You see, Louisa Patrick is a cancer victim who has been to several countries searching for a cure, and since she is also a “philanthropist with a target at charity,” she is also donating her funds to the less privileged in Africa, Brazil, Haiti “and some of the Asian countries (e.g.. Burma).” So sad that someone who is fighting cancer finds herself at the precipice of death and won’t be able to continue her good work.

Don’t worry, though, you can help, because if you are a good and God fearing individual and will help her distribute the funds to people needing help around the world, she will entrust the last of her funds to you (about 7.5 million GBP, which in US money is about $5 – okay, it’s really about $12.5 million bucks).

Before she will trust you with the money she does ask you to tell her a little bit about yourself, and I thought about replying to her email but was a little worried on that “good and God fearing” part as I’m mostly good and generally God loving, but she’s not really offering to give me part of her fortune, just to help distribute it to the less privileged. I mean, what’s in it for me? Maybe, though, you’re up for some world travel and giving away Louisa’s funds, in which case send me your email and I’ll forward her information back to you. First, though, you’ll have to answer my plight: Are you a good and God fearing individual?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Are You Fascinated with Christina Aguilera’s Boobies on “The Voice?”

Fine, maybe you can’t stop looking at Adam Levine while watching “The Voice,” after all he is dreamy, but I’m being forced to pay attention to the ever-changing boobs on Christina Aguilera. I say “forced” because I generally do my best not to overtly pay attention to things like boobs and butts when I’m watching TV with my wife, but lately, while we are watching the singing show, she keeps pointing them out and noticing that during this contestant they are nicely pushed up, and then the next contestant I’m forced to notice that they have become saggy and droopy. I try to get analytical with her, saying that since they are in the pre-taped portion of the show maybe the producers don’t necessarily show the contestants in the order they appeared during tryouts, and that the “saggy” times were later in the day, but she can’t help herself, and will even force me to rewind the DVR to pay closer attention.

I’m sure Christina’s ever-changing boobs could be turned into a drinking game – a sip when they are pushed up and a chug when you wonder if it’s time she had a boob-lift, and maybe, when the live shows start, you drink the entire bottle if there is actual nip-slippage, but the thing is we won’t be able to analyze them after this year as it’s been announced that next year Christina and Cee Lo will be replaced by Shakira and Usher. So get that boob-analysis done now because next year they get a little bit smaller with Shakira, and for now now I plight: Are you fascinated with Christina Aguilera’s boobies on “The Voice?”

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Can You Dance “Gangnam Style?”

It’s sweeping the world, and coming to wedding receptions near you, but the latest “Will we ever hear from this singer, again?” is Psy, and his hit, “Gangnam Style.” It’s a Korean song, in case you haven’t heard nor seen it before, it’s catchy, and it’s got a very funny moment, well, actually a lot of funny moments during the video, but for me the kicker is around the 1:50 mark in the elevator.

Psy, the singer-dude, is everywhere, and smartly so when something like this goes viral because you may never again get the chance to find yourself at a Los Angeles Dodger’s game, on Ellen DeGeneres, getting a spot on The Today Show, and even finding yourself on Saturday Night Live all in the span of a couple of weeks, and much like Rebecca Black (remember her, she did the “Friday” song), we may never hear from Psy again, although parodies of his video will live in the internet forever.

The dance Psy does during “Gangnam Style” is kind of disjointed, yet funny, and you can probably throw out a hip if you try to do it as an older person, and seemingly not as structured as an “Electric Slide,” I can see the wedding DJ’s now trying to get the revelers to dance “Gangnam Style.” Which leads me to my plight: Can you dance “Gangnam Style?”

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Will McDonald’s posting calorie counts cause you to change what you order?

I’m going to guess the answer will generally be “No,” but what do I know? I do know that there was a story in the news the other day that McDonald’s will be posting calorie counts of its menu items across the nation, and sure, a lot of people might be shocked to find out that a Happy Meal (410 calories if you stick with the milk) is probably their best menu choice for a “healthy” meal as they are standing at the counter thinking “Happy Meal or Big Mac (550 calories, but no fries)?”, and sure, you could go with the Premium Grilled Chicken Classic sandwich (only 350 calories) or even the Filet-O-Fish (not too bad at 380 calories), but if you want to keep it healthy you’d better give up the medium fries (another 380 calories) and opt for the apple slices (15 calories – Woohoo!).

I’m not saying you can’t stay thin eating only McDonald’s food, hell, look at Don Gorske who has pretty much only McDonald’s Big Macs for most of his life, but although seeing the numbers may give pause to a few people, you are rarely going to McDonald’s for your healthy diet, you are going to Subway and fooling yourself into thinking they are the healthier option because, after all, they’ve got Jared. Even going there, I’m guessing you aren’t getting that footlong, veggie sub with no cheese. In any case, wherever you go, I’m plighting: Will McDonald’s posting calorie counts cause you to change what you order?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

Does Jay Pharoah Play a Good Barack Obama on SNL?

I don’t know why I give it a chance every week, but I still watch Saturday Night Live. I generally don’t watch it live, usually it’s on Sunday, which does give the ability to skip over crappy sketches, but oddly I generally don’t skip over them, somehow hoping they will eventually get funny. They rarely do, and usually I just shake my head wondering how a sketch that had a little promise at the beginning of it could seemingly drag on and on until the sketch turns into utter boredom. Yesterday marked the return of the SNL season with Seth Macfarlane as host, and as a person who likes a good Family Guy episode and finds Seth’s humor on par with mine, I had high hopes. Also, generally liking the impressions Jay Pharoah does, the announcement that he was going to play President Barack Obama had me jointly excited. Hooray, Saturday Night Live was back for a new season!

Then, so much for “Hooray.”

Yup, Jay is up there doing his Obama impression, and I actually longed for Fred Armisen. I don’t know if it was the bad joke writing (and I’m sorry, but SNL writers you’ve had an entire summer to think up funny stuff, and I’m always amazed the first episode of the season usually falls flat, but I digress) or just Jay needs a ton of refinement (again, all summer to get it right – come on!), but the new season was not off to a good start. I’m not going to go into how I only enjoyed two sketches (the commercial bashing Mitt Romney and Bain Capital, as well as the sketch poking fun at Gangnam Style complete with surprise guest Psy), was perplexed by musical guest Frank Ocean singing his, um, hit, “Thinking About You” with disjointed lyrics including “Got a fighter jet, I don’t get fly it though,” and I can generally appreciate any music, but I was lost. Weekend Update was a little flat, and, oh hell, I just wanted the episode to end yet didn’t hit the fast-forward button, in constant hope of “This will be the sketch to bring it back.” It never came back.

And so, as most of the sketches will probably be lost into the oblivion, I have a feeling Jay Pharoah coming back as Obama will be a regular feature, especially in this election season. I’m hoping he gets better, but right now I plight: Does Jay Pharoah play a good Barack Obama on SNL?

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Do You Know Someone Who Already Ordered an iPhone 5?

The iPhone 5 went on sale, and unlike last year I wasn’t up trying to order one the minute they went on sale. Had I had some disposable income right now it’s possible I would have been one of the crazy, I mean dedicated, iPhone folks, but after upgrading to the iPhone 4S from my 3GS last year, and a little too lazy to try to sell my 4s, right now I’m opting out of upgrading my iPhone, especially since my AT&T contract isn’t up and the price to buy it is kind of crazy. That’s not to say I wouldn’t like one, nor may change my mind later if I get the gumption to unload my old one, but I do have to say I was a little more well-rested, and a lot less frustrated, than I was when I ordered the 4S. I remember the trying to log on, the delays, the staring at the screen hoping this time I could log in, and praying they wouldn’t sell out and I would find shipping times upped to a couple of weeks, thus delaying my new iPhone gratification and anticipation of the FedEx man coming to my door.

As the day went on, my “need for new” began to wane, especially as I saw the reports of the phone selling out and delivery times slipping, and the contentment with my “old” iPhone began to set in all until I saw two posts. With two sentences, “Why did I wake up at 2 in the morning to pre order a damn iPhone…” and “I actually set my alarm for 2am ( midnight Pacific time) to wake up and order the IPhone 5. Again my wife thinks I’m nuts.”, that itch in me began again, I started checking how much could I really get for my 64gb iPhone 4s, and then came to the decision that “Nope, not right now” again. And so, this morning I actually have two plights, but you only have to answer one. One is “Does anyone want to give me about $550 for my iPhone 4S?” and my actual plight: “Do you someone who already ordered an iPhone 5?”

That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!