Andy Labis, Author at Entertainment Ave!

Did You Know That THE CFO Smokes and is a Litterbug?

I wonder if you know that THE CFO smokes and is a litterbug. I do. Okay, I’m not exactly sure it was “the” CFO, so I’ll further explain.

The other day I find myself cruising along the highway with my honey and in front of us is a car with a vanity plate. I’m always fascinated at what people put on a vanity plate, especially since it can identify you as an asshole if you are a sucky driver, or do something, well, sucky other than driving. The car was driving fine, I mean, it was a straight stretch of road, they were a little over the speed limit, and not swerving back and forth or anything crazy like that. As I got a little closer there was the license plate: “THE CFO”. Maybe not as creative as “ASSMAN” from the Seinfeld episode, but the owner of the car was obviously proud of being the CFO, whatever CFO might stand for in this situation.

Maybe a little pompous, I thought, but hey, be proud! That was until I saw two things. Yup, there was the puff of smoke coming out of the driver side window, and sure enough, like clockwork, the cigarette butt was flicked out of the car window. Instantly my thoughts of slightly pompous turned to pompous asshole.

I have to admit that I didn’t stop the car and ask the driver if they were, in fact, the CFO, so I suppose my Daily Wonder should really be “Did you know someone in The CFO’s car smokes and is a litterbug?”, but I have to assume, especially since they were the smoker in the car (which most likely smells like an ashtray even though said tray isn’t used) and the driver of the vehicle, that whomever tossed out the cigarette butt was THE CFO. I could preach about the dangers of smoking and my mom dying of lung cancer, the dangers of flicking your cigarette butt out of the car window, or how the person should have gotten a ticket, but mostly I’ll just mention any thought of “Congratulations of achieving your success” I had in the person being The CFO went right out the window with the flick of a butt.

Mind you, this post only relates to THE CFO in Illinois, so you CFO’s in other states with vanity plates, I hope you don’t fall into this category, but all it takes is one to ruin all of your reputations.

I know cars don’t always come with ashtrays nowadays, though I’m guessing their car probably had one, however, I wonder: Did you know that THE CFO smokes and is a litterbug?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!!

Have You Shot Off a Model Rocket?

Going for a walk the other day in a nearby park I saw a group of kids in the middle of the field, huddled around something. They then scattered a bit, and I saw it there, that little stand with a long rod, and then heard that familiar “Swooooosh!” sound, and saw the rocket take off. Immediately I was taken back to my childhood, model rockets, and uber-coolness, at least for a nerd want-to-be. I remembered days of chasing down rockets caught in the wind, hoping it didn’t land on a nearby rooftop, searching the fields where we thought it touched down, and just all-in-all being amazed, and thinking it might be possible to strap more motors to the body of the rocket to get it to go even higher (it doesn’t work).

I don’t know if it was because I was smaller, or because they used a lame rocket motor, but their rocket didn’t go up that high, to the point that when the parachute deployed even I knew there wasn’t enough height to let it open up and give the rocket a soft landing. It was up, it was down, and as disappointed as I was in the height of their launch I was thrilled to see kids still launching a model rocket, they just might need some help on their choice of motor and rocket.

I’m guessing for most of the girls out there the answer is “No,” but I’m wondering: Have you shot off a model rocket?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

Have You Changed Your Passwords Since News of the Heartbleed Bug Came Out?

A mantis praying that you change your passwords. When Target had their security breach effecting credit and debit cards you would have thought the world was coming to an end. Every news channel carried the story, new credit and debit cards were being issued, and people became afraid to shop at Target out of fear their identity would be stolen. On top of that when other places were hacked there were the same stories, especially the ones where we should change our passwords because Yahoo/Google/Adobe (that PDF viewer thing we all use)/LinkedIn were affected, and the world was coming to an end.

Now, though, when a hack that actually seems to be the mother of all hacks, the Heartbleed Bug, affecting nearly every website that used secure connections, it’s almost like no one seems to care. I heard a quick blurb on a news station when it was first announced and said to myself, “Self, that’s pretty bad,” but it was buried about five stories down into the news. A few days later the major news outlets started reporting it, but it was kind of the same “Yea, something was hacked, you should change your passwords” story, but nowhere with the “internet world is coming to an end” immediacy of other hacks.

I’m blaming the name of the bug: “The Heartbleed Bug.” Why? No one can relate. We know Yahoo. We know Google. We know Target. But what the hell is “Heartbleed?” For what is actually a hack that should entice people to change their passwords a little more diligently than the others, no one except for geeks can identity.

I’m not sure what a better name might have been to get people to care, or maybe we’ve just gotten so used to the “Change the passwords” stories we don’t care anymore, but I’m wondering: Have you changed your passwords since news of the Heartbleed Bug came out?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

Did You Do Something “Bunny” Related for Easter?

The Easter Bunny is pooped! I know this post might be a little more religion-specific, but around Easter there are always the posts about what a bunny has to do with what is supposed to be the celebration of resurrection of Jesus after he was dead for three days. Supposedly it goes back to something about rabbits and kids, similar to Santa Claus at Christmas time, and then somehow eggs because involved, related to the rabbit even though rabbits don’t lay eggs. It’s also the time of stories about your favorite way to eat a chocolate Easter bunny, for example, to you eat the ears first, or maybe the head, or the feet. And alas, we also hear the stories about parents who rush out to buy rabbits to give their kids as a pet for Easter, quickly realized “Why in the hell did I buy a rabbit?” and then having to figure out what to do with it.

Me, it’s my time to post one of my favorite pictures, that of a giant, blow-up Easter Bunny, that, like most rabbits, had to take a potty break. With that I guess my answer is “Yes,” but I wonder: Did you do something “bunny” related for Easter?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!!

Do You Have a Twitter Account you Don’t Use?

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I tend to forget how many Twitter accounts I have. Yes, I have my personal one at @aplabis, there is @enteravenue, and then there is the slew of accounts I set up to A) Help promote some iPhone apps I have. B) Save them from squatters so someone can’t pose as names close to mine, because, you know, I’m a famous person in my own head. C) I thought they might be cool names to have someday. In all I probably have a dozen accounts, of which I really use two.

The reason I’m bringing this up is there was a report out showing that 44% of Twitter users have never sent a Tweet. I think, much like Facebook accounts people don’t use, Twitter is a bastion of accounts that people set up, followed a few people, looked at a few times, and from this report, 66% maybe even sent a Tweet, something like “Hey, this is my first Tweet!” Then, I’ll bet, most of the people go away.

Will I ever use some of those Twitter accounts? Probably not. Do I even remember the passwords? Hmm? I’m part of that 44% who haven’t sent a Tweet, but I’m wondering more about those who have an account they used before, but forgot about. With that, I’m wondering: Do you have a Twitter account you don’t use?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!!

Do You Plan to Buy a New iPhone if They Launch One With a Larger Screen?

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With the recent announcement of the Apple World Wide Developers Conference set for June 2nd thru 6th, the Apple rumor-mill has gone into full-blown high production. Sure, there are the rumors of what iOS 8 will have, the spotty “Apple will update its line of iMacs / laptops / Mac Mini,” the continued rumor of the announcement of Apple putting out a TV, smattering of “this will be the year for the iWatch” (which is nice, because I could use a new watch), and, of course, Apple will finally be putting out an iPhone with a larger screen.

The consensus is that the iPhone 6 will come in two sizes, a 4.7″ and a 5.5″, and will be faster because of new stuff inside. Still in the “we really don’t have a clue but will throw it out” are things like NFC capabilities so we can finally start paying for things easily with our phone, some wacky atmospheric sensors because everyone wonders about the current atmospheric pressure on a daily basis (Yes, I’m mocking, even though I would probably be “that guy”), and in conjunction with the iWatch, a slew of health sensors so we can instantly know we are out of shape.

Am I excited about whatever Apple is going to announce? Hell, yes! Since the original iPhone I’ve been a fan, and for me, I’m up for a new phone so the larger screen would be nice, I’m curious and would probably be an early adopter of the iWatch, and as my laptop is chugging along at a 5+ year old pace, a new Mac Mini might be a nice addition.

June 2nd is about a month and a half away so the rumors will most likely solidify by the time the WWDC comes around thereby ruining some of Tim Cook’s thunder, but I don’t care, I’ll still be wishing I were at the conference in person (maybe next year, if I can win the lottery), and then wish whatever he announces will be available the next day instead of having to wait a couple of more months. Then again, patience is a virtue, or so they say, or at least necessary when it comes to Apple.

I’m going to guess you can figure out my answer, but I wonder: Do you plan to buy a new iPhone if they launch one with a larger screen?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

Do Thunderstorms Freak Out Your Dog?

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With Spring finally seeming to arrive yesterday here in the Chicago area as the temperature shot about 80 degrees, also comes the talk of spring storms, and a winter of Milo only barking at things like the snow plow guy and the few times kids played outside in the -10 below temperatures will quickly turn into his notifying us of an oncoming storm.

Milo isn’t a fan of noise, getting even more grumpy in his old age, and whereas he used to be a little more calm when a thunderstorm hit, he’s starting to change his tune and be even more barky as the thunder rolls. He doesn’t technically freak out when a storm comes, being one of those dogs that hides under a bed and wimpers, although that might be nicer than the barking, but he does make storms a bastion of “It’s okay. Be quiet.”, and looking at the radar to know when we can expect him to be over the storm.

We’ve tried the Thundershirt, and it kind of helps, we’ve tried treats, and that just makes him more demanding, but Milo is Milo, and Milo likes to bark. If you’ve got any sure-fire solutions that helped you with your dog in a thunderstorm I’d love to hear them, though for now I suppose it could be worse, and thankfully the storms don’t last too long (usually), and aren’t every day, but I wonder: Do thunderstorms freak out your dog?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

Do You Have a Bumper Sticker on Your Car?

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The other day I’m at a stoplight and there is a car ahead of me, and to the left. On their bumper is a sticker, and I think, “Oh, how quaint! A bumper sticker!” I know people still like to advertise their kids are honor students, or how they hate people who advertise their kids are honer students, or piss off the people behind them with different political leanings than they do, somehow thinking they’re going to change someone’s mind about a political candidate because they have a bumper sticker on their car for John Blowhard, but in checking out the bumper sticker on this car, though, at first I think, “That’s odd.”, but then I realize, “Ohhh!”

The bumper sticker read: “No! I don’t want to play the flute!”

I’m not sure if I should explain if you don’t have that “Ohhh!” moment like I did, or are just reading it thinking it’s a bumper sticker a teenager might have on their car, upset that their parents want them to learn the flute, but I’m thinking it’s not someone who hates musical instruments.

Odd enough someone would advertise their dislike of “playing the flute,” but more than that I wonder: Do you have a bumper sticker on your car?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!!

Have You Seen a Semi with Sprewells?

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As winter breaks here in Chicago, the “summer” cars have started to appear, especially last weekend when we sort of had our first “nice” day of the year. You know those cars, the fancy ones, the Corvettes, or classic rides that the dude won’t bring out in the winter because he doesn’t want the salt damage to the underbody. I’ve also started seeing, for whatever reason, more cars with Sprewells on them. Okay, they most likely aren’t true “Sprewells,” just spinner rims, but kinda like Kleenex becoming generic for tissues, I’m using Sprewells in the generic sense of the word, those rims that keep spinning when the car comes to a stop.

Maybe they’re on the uptick in popularity again, or just one of those things I’m seeing nowadays, but I’m generally fascinated by them. First there are the good Sprewells, the well-maintained (also read “expensive”) ones that spin freely, are clean enough to probably eat off of, and generally on a car someone seems really proud of. Then there are the “poser” ones, on junker cars where the cheap spinners probably cost more than the car, they don’t really spin well, and look like they’ve been through, well, a Chicago winter.

This seems normal enough, especially in the urban-ness of Chicago, but the other day, driving down the expressway, I look to the side of me and there it is, a semi, big-rig, 18-wheeler if you will, and on it were Sprewells. The best part was it was sort of stop-and-go traffic, so I got to see his spinners in action, and my man seemed to take good care of them as they seemed to spin freely, and had a good shine. That or he just busted them out of winter storage for the summer months.

Sure, maybe you’ve never actually seen a car with Sprewells on it, so I’ll leave an option in the poll box for even seeing spinners, but really, this one is about seeing an 18-wheeler with spinners, because, really, who doesn’t like a trucker whose hip, or stuck back in the 2000’s.

That’s it for this one! L8R!!!

Everyday

MPAA Rated – Not Rated
It’s 1:30 Long
A Review by:
– Andy Labis

Everyday Movie Stats & Links
Starring:	John Simm, Shirley Henderson
MPAA Rated:	Not rated.
Released By:	IFC Films
Release Date:	April 8, 2014
Kiddie Movie:	They’d be bored.
Date Movie:	If she’s an artsy film fan, like you.
Gratuitous Sex:	There is some sex, but nothing gratuitious.
Gratuitous Violence:	Some fighting.
Action:	Nah.
Laughs:	A chuckle or two.
Memorable Scene:	The “Dad Get Out of Jail” party.
Memorable Quote:	Nah.
Directed By:	Michael Winterbottom
Cool Thing About the DVD:	Nothing really.It’s got some deleted and extended stuff.

I don’t know why I generally try to give a warning for these kinds of movies, but I guess the best thing I can generally say, to kick things off, is “Everyday” is an artsy kind of film. The reason I say that is because even though I’m going to give the movie 4 stars out of 5, this definitely is not for everyone. As artsy, there are times of drawn-out scenery shots, scenes of walking/train rides/walking and general “Okay, now look out in the distance with a reflective thought in your head to convey to the viewer your pain,” as well as a lot of dialogue kinds of scenes.

That said, “Everyday” is a nice look at a family struggling through dad’s five years in prison for some drug smuggling.

In the movie we have Ian (John Simm), playing the dude. He seems like a nice enough guy who just got wrapped up in the wrong people. His kids are young, in fact his four kids are played by actual siblings, Shaun, Katrina, Stephanie, and Robert Kirk, and I think the fact they are siblings helps as for many of the scenes they don’t seem to have to “act” that much to show the camaraderie of being a family.

As the movie goes along, we see the family trips to see dad in the pokey, and mom (Shirley Henderson) doing her best to raise the kids and still stay in love with Ian. Yes, there is the proverbial “Is she going to cheat on her hubby” scene, and the oldest boy has a propensity for getting in trouble, and sometimes you might think it would just be easier to break away from dad, but credit to their family for sticking it out.

Eventually dad does get released, and they have that weird “celebration” of “Yay, my dad the criminal got out of jail,” and the family trying to get back together as a family unit, and in the end you just hope they will all be okay.

Artsy? Yes. Well-done? Yes. For everyone? No. The acting is very well done, especially John Simm in that weird role of a dad in jail, but not a bad guy. The movie itself is shot over the course of the five years, which does lend to a more realistic look at the children growing up, although, and I know probably not realistic in the film-making realm for keeping the actors on call for that amount of time, I think a ten-year look at the family might have been a little more drastic in showing the changes, especially in the children, as for the most part, I think the kids could have ended up how they did whether or not dad was in jail. That or maybe start the oldest boy at about 15, so he has to go through high school with dad in jail, rather than his younger years.

As I wrote earlier, “Everyday” get 4 stars out of 5 from me. Well-done, but artsy, so if you can appreciate that type of film, it would be a great get for an evening.

That’s it for this one! L8R!!