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Is There a Commercial that Drives Your Pet Bonkers?

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I officially hate Mark Cuban. No, it’s not because of his somewhat arrogant attitude. No, it’s not because of some of the things he’s invested in on “Shark Tank.” No, it’s not because I’m secretly jealous. Okay, hate is a strong word, so I suppose I don’t hate him, but he’s really getting on my nerves.

Why?

Because he’s the centerpiece of a current AT&T commercial for their U-Verse service, and every time it comes on our dog goes bonkers. Why? Because it has a doorbell that sounds exactly like our doorbell, and it rings at least 1000 times in a span of 30 seconds.

In the commercial the doorbell rings, and Mark answers the door, holding his tablet with the big game on it. A basketball legend arrives, they watch the game on his table while walking to the living room, then the doorbell rings again, more basketball players show up, they watch the game on the way to the room, and the situation keeps playing out about 1000 times (or at least so it seems as our dog goes ballistic with every doorbell ring) eventually leaving Mark Cuban in his living room with way too-tall players blocking his view of his TV, so he’s relegated to watching the game on his tablet, in the easy chair at the back of the room, which he is able to to because he has U-Verse.

Our neighbors, I’m sure, are ready to call the cops because our dog is barking so much for a thirty-second span, Milo thinks he is protecting us way too often and wonders who keeps ringing our doorbell while we just ignore whomever is at the door, and I’m not blaming AT&T, nor the variety of basketball legends attached to the commercial, nope, I’m blaming Mark Cuban because, well, that’s just easier.

The underlying problem with the commercial is that it pretty much starts with a doorbell. There have been other commercial with doorbells that make Milo bonkers, but there was generally a 3 to 5 second window before the doorbell, enough time for us to dive for the remote and hit the mute button before barminess hit. Not this commercial. Pretty much it’s got about a millisecond lag from seeing Cuban on the couch to the doorbell ringing. Not enough time for muting, not enough time to change the channel, but just enough time for Milo the Protector to do his duty and decide his little fifteen pounds of white fur will be enough to protect us from the bad guys at the door.

I was hoping this was just an ad run for the NCAA tournament as that’s when it started, but it’s continuing, now, through the NBA playoffs, and I fear that now we won’t be able to watch any TV for months, thanks to Mark Cuban.

Milo used to want to attack the TV when he would see animals or other dogs on it, but now it might be Marc Cuban as a Pavlovian response of protection. No more sports to watch, no more Shark Tank, at least if we want some peace and quiet. And so, as I now hate, okay am bothered by Mark Cuban, I’m wondering: Is there a commercial that drives your pet bonkers?

Are Your May Flowers Blooming?

April is over. Thank God! I suppose it wasn’t the worst of Aprils, but after the winter we’ve had, and most people just wanting weather to be normal, this last blast of rainy weather and storms around the country just continues a 2014 of nutty weather.

The sayings go that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb, well, that little lamb has turned into one grumpy sheep during April, and if April showers bring May flowers, I’m thinking the flowers of May should be overly abundant this year.

You can blame global warming, you can blame Mother Nature, you can blame God for being pissed at the world because it is accepting gay people, or, like me, you can just attribute the weird weather to, well, we’ve only got a couple hundred years of accurate weather history so we have no idea what kind of start the year 1253 got off to, but as weather years go we’ll have stories to tell the youngins in about twenty years. Me, I’m just wondering right now: Are your May flowers blooming?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

Will They Find the Missing Malaysian Flight 370?

It’s coming on two months since Malaysian Flight 370 disappeared, and like many tragedies that so engulfed people’s water-cooler talk for a few weeks, unless you are directly involved you probably don’t really care any longer. You might have a minute or two down the road when someone will say something like “Did they ever find that airplane?” and remember it for a minute, but until they actually find the missing plane it’s almost time when the searching will stop, there will be an outcry from people with those missing that they shouldn’t stop, but the reality might set in that they may never find the plane, something in itself that seems hard to fathom these days.

I guess what has flabbergasted me the most, especially in this day and age when if allowed, I can use my phone to find exactly where in the world my friend might be at any given time with things like “Find my iPhone” and GSP tracking, that airplanes, especially commercial airlines, don’t have continuos tracking. Maybe this tragedy will change all of that, especially the thoughts that maybe, just maybe, had that capability been on the plane, if there were any survivors there might have been a chance to get to them in time, but alas, as the Titanic was missing for the longest time, it might be years and years until someone actually finds Malaysian Flight 370.

I suppose the answer might be “Yes,” but over the course of travel there have been many vessels lost at sea never to be found, though I wonder: Will they find Malaysian Flight 370?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

Did You Know That THE CFO Smokes and is a Litterbug?

I wonder if you know that THE CFO smokes and is a litterbug. I do. Okay, I’m not exactly sure it was “the” CFO, so I’ll further explain.

The other day I find myself cruising along the highway with my honey and in front of us is a car with a vanity plate. I’m always fascinated at what people put on a vanity plate, especially since it can identify you as an asshole if you are a sucky driver, or do something, well, sucky other than driving. The car was driving fine, I mean, it was a straight stretch of road, they were a little over the speed limit, and not swerving back and forth or anything crazy like that. As I got a little closer there was the license plate: “THE CFO”. Maybe not as creative as “ASSMAN” from the Seinfeld episode, but the owner of the car was obviously proud of being the CFO, whatever CFO might stand for in this situation.

Maybe a little pompous, I thought, but hey, be proud! That was until I saw two things. Yup, there was the puff of smoke coming out of the driver side window, and sure enough, like clockwork, the cigarette butt was flicked out of the car window. Instantly my thoughts of slightly pompous turned to pompous asshole.

I have to admit that I didn’t stop the car and ask the driver if they were, in fact, the CFO, so I suppose my Daily Wonder should really be “Did you know someone in The CFO’s car smokes and is a litterbug?”, but I have to assume, especially since they were the smoker in the car (which most likely smells like an ashtray even though said tray isn’t used) and the driver of the vehicle, that whomever tossed out the cigarette butt was THE CFO. I could preach about the dangers of smoking and my mom dying of lung cancer, the dangers of flicking your cigarette butt out of the car window, or how the person should have gotten a ticket, but mostly I’ll just mention any thought of “Congratulations of achieving your success” I had in the person being The CFO went right out the window with the flick of a butt.

Mind you, this post only relates to THE CFO in Illinois, so you CFO’s in other states with vanity plates, I hope you don’t fall into this category, but all it takes is one to ruin all of your reputations.

I know cars don’t always come with ashtrays nowadays, though I’m guessing their car probably had one, however, I wonder: Did you know that THE CFO smokes and is a litterbug?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!!

Have You Shot Off a Model Rocket?

Going for a walk the other day in a nearby park I saw a group of kids in the middle of the field, huddled around something. They then scattered a bit, and I saw it there, that little stand with a long rod, and then heard that familiar “Swooooosh!” sound, and saw the rocket take off. Immediately I was taken back to my childhood, model rockets, and uber-coolness, at least for a nerd want-to-be. I remembered days of chasing down rockets caught in the wind, hoping it didn’t land on a nearby rooftop, searching the fields where we thought it touched down, and just all-in-all being amazed, and thinking it might be possible to strap more motors to the body of the rocket to get it to go even higher (it doesn’t work).

I don’t know if it was because I was smaller, or because they used a lame rocket motor, but their rocket didn’t go up that high, to the point that when the parachute deployed even I knew there wasn’t enough height to let it open up and give the rocket a soft landing. It was up, it was down, and as disappointed as I was in the height of their launch I was thrilled to see kids still launching a model rocket, they just might need some help on their choice of motor and rocket.

I’m guessing for most of the girls out there the answer is “No,” but I’m wondering: Have you shot off a model rocket?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

Have You Changed Your Passwords Since News of the Heartbleed Bug Came Out?

A mantis praying that you change your passwords. When Target had their security breach effecting credit and debit cards you would have thought the world was coming to an end. Every news channel carried the story, new credit and debit cards were being issued, and people became afraid to shop at Target out of fear their identity would be stolen. On top of that when other places were hacked there were the same stories, especially the ones where we should change our passwords because Yahoo/Google/Adobe (that PDF viewer thing we all use)/LinkedIn were affected, and the world was coming to an end.

Now, though, when a hack that actually seems to be the mother of all hacks, the Heartbleed Bug, affecting nearly every website that used secure connections, it’s almost like no one seems to care. I heard a quick blurb on a news station when it was first announced and said to myself, “Self, that’s pretty bad,” but it was buried about five stories down into the news. A few days later the major news outlets started reporting it, but it was kind of the same “Yea, something was hacked, you should change your passwords” story, but nowhere with the “internet world is coming to an end” immediacy of other hacks.

I’m blaming the name of the bug: “The Heartbleed Bug.” Why? No one can relate. We know Yahoo. We know Google. We know Target. But what the hell is “Heartbleed?” For what is actually a hack that should entice people to change their passwords a little more diligently than the others, no one except for geeks can identity.

I’m not sure what a better name might have been to get people to care, or maybe we’ve just gotten so used to the “Change the passwords” stories we don’t care anymore, but I’m wondering: Have you changed your passwords since news of the Heartbleed Bug came out?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

Did You Do Something “Bunny” Related for Easter?

The Easter Bunny is pooped! I know this post might be a little more religion-specific, but around Easter there are always the posts about what a bunny has to do with what is supposed to be the celebration of resurrection of Jesus after he was dead for three days. Supposedly it goes back to something about rabbits and kids, similar to Santa Claus at Christmas time, and then somehow eggs because involved, related to the rabbit even though rabbits don’t lay eggs. It’s also the time of stories about your favorite way to eat a chocolate Easter bunny, for example, to you eat the ears first, or maybe the head, or the feet. And alas, we also hear the stories about parents who rush out to buy rabbits to give their kids as a pet for Easter, quickly realized “Why in the hell did I buy a rabbit?” and then having to figure out what to do with it.

Me, it’s my time to post one of my favorite pictures, that of a giant, blow-up Easter Bunny, that, like most rabbits, had to take a potty break. With that I guess my answer is “Yes,” but I wonder: Did you do something “bunny” related for Easter?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!!

Do You Have a Twitter Account you Don’t Use?

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I tend to forget how many Twitter accounts I have. Yes, I have my personal one at @aplabis, there is @enteravenue, and then there is the slew of accounts I set up to A) Help promote some iPhone apps I have. B) Save them from squatters so someone can’t pose as names close to mine, because, you know, I’m a famous person in my own head. C) I thought they might be cool names to have someday. In all I probably have a dozen accounts, of which I really use two.

The reason I’m bringing this up is there was a report out showing that 44% of Twitter users have never sent a Tweet. I think, much like Facebook accounts people don’t use, Twitter is a bastion of accounts that people set up, followed a few people, looked at a few times, and from this report, 66% maybe even sent a Tweet, something like “Hey, this is my first Tweet!” Then, I’ll bet, most of the people go away.

Will I ever use some of those Twitter accounts? Probably not. Do I even remember the passwords? Hmm? I’m part of that 44% who haven’t sent a Tweet, but I’m wondering more about those who have an account they used before, but forgot about. With that, I’m wondering: Do you have a Twitter account you don’t use?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!!

Do You Plan to Buy a New iPhone if They Launch One With a Larger Screen?

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With the recent announcement of the Apple World Wide Developers Conference set for June 2nd thru 6th, the Apple rumor-mill has gone into full-blown high production. Sure, there are the rumors of what iOS 8 will have, the spotty “Apple will update its line of iMacs / laptops / Mac Mini,” the continued rumor of the announcement of Apple putting out a TV, smattering of “this will be the year for the iWatch” (which is nice, because I could use a new watch), and, of course, Apple will finally be putting out an iPhone with a larger screen.

The consensus is that the iPhone 6 will come in two sizes, a 4.7″ and a 5.5″, and will be faster because of new stuff inside. Still in the “we really don’t have a clue but will throw it out” are things like NFC capabilities so we can finally start paying for things easily with our phone, some wacky atmospheric sensors because everyone wonders about the current atmospheric pressure on a daily basis (Yes, I’m mocking, even though I would probably be “that guy”), and in conjunction with the iWatch, a slew of health sensors so we can instantly know we are out of shape.

Am I excited about whatever Apple is going to announce? Hell, yes! Since the original iPhone I’ve been a fan, and for me, I’m up for a new phone so the larger screen would be nice, I’m curious and would probably be an early adopter of the iWatch, and as my laptop is chugging along at a 5+ year old pace, a new Mac Mini might be a nice addition.

June 2nd is about a month and a half away so the rumors will most likely solidify by the time the WWDC comes around thereby ruining some of Tim Cook’s thunder, but I don’t care, I’ll still be wishing I were at the conference in person (maybe next year, if I can win the lottery), and then wish whatever he announces will be available the next day instead of having to wait a couple of more months. Then again, patience is a virtue, or so they say, or at least necessary when it comes to Apple.

I’m going to guess you can figure out my answer, but I wonder: Do you plan to buy a new iPhone if they launch one with a larger screen?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!

Do Thunderstorms Freak Out Your Dog?

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With Spring finally seeming to arrive yesterday here in the Chicago area as the temperature shot about 80 degrees, also comes the talk of spring storms, and a winter of Milo only barking at things like the snow plow guy and the few times kids played outside in the -10 below temperatures will quickly turn into his notifying us of an oncoming storm.

Milo isn’t a fan of noise, getting even more grumpy in his old age, and whereas he used to be a little more calm when a thunderstorm hit, he’s starting to change his tune and be even more barky as the thunder rolls. He doesn’t technically freak out when a storm comes, being one of those dogs that hides under a bed and wimpers, although that might be nicer than the barking, but he does make storms a bastion of “It’s okay. Be quiet.”, and looking at the radar to know when we can expect him to be over the storm.

We’ve tried the Thundershirt, and it kind of helps, we’ve tried treats, and that just makes him more demanding, but Milo is Milo, and Milo likes to bark. If you’ve got any sure-fire solutions that helped you with your dog in a thunderstorm I’d love to hear them, though for now I suppose it could be worse, and thankfully the storms don’t last too long (usually), and aren’t every day, but I wonder: Do thunderstorms freak out your dog?

That’s it for this one! L8R!!