A Great Movie Line, Mentos & Diet Coke Infatuation, and Your iPod and Your Toilet.

By:

The Dude on the Right

I give a quick mention of one of my favorite
movie quotes,
because, well, it was on TV tonight, and some of this podcast is about my
seeming obsession with the

Mentos & Diet Coke
phenomenon.  But for the most part this podcast is
about a
new product
for your iPod.  Where is one of the places that it has been
difficult to listen to your iPod?  That’s right, it’s your bathroom. 
A company has come up with an iPod dock/player for your bathroom, and it even
has a toilet roll dispenser built in.  Laugh now, but don’t you want your
music in your bathroom?  Or if you are a dudette, taking a calming bath,
with the candles glowing, wouldn’t you like to have a place for your iPod with
your "soothing" music play-list playing?  Like I said, it sounds funny at
first talk, but these folks
with the bathroom iPod dock are probably onto something.  I’m just bummed I
didn’t think about it first.

Thanks for listening.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Download and Listen Here Subscribe Here



Yahoo! Podcasts






My Baseball Team Dilemma, Seeing The Omen with Kids, and Anna Nalick, back on the Charts.

By:

The Dude on the Right

Once again I am finding myself torn in my allegiance to a home baseball team.
Should it be the Cleveland
Indians
, the Chicago Cubs,
or Chicago White Sox? I
also wonder about parents bringing their children to see "The Omen," unless
maybe their children are demon spawn.  Lastly, Anna Nalick is back on the
charts, and I haven’t done the research as to why.

Thanks for listening.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Download and Listen Here Subscribe Here



Yahoo! Podcasts






Your T.V. Shows are Lost for now, but at Least Gay Marriage isn’t an Issue Anymore, yet..

By:

The Dude on the Right

Today was another win for a group of folks, but for most of the rest of us, it
was a loss, because, well, we didn’t make the call, write the letter, send the
e-mail, to our elected officials, and that is unless, of course, you want your
primetime TV to not reflect 2006.  And I, like you, you can blame me,
because I did have a nice letter to my Senator,
Barack Obama, opposing
this thing, but I didn’t realize this thing already went through and I never
sent it.

First,

let’s get to the win
because it’s an easier argument.  It’s an election
year for a batch of government folks, and what better way to gain some votes in
your conservative state than to support an amendment to our United States
Constitution that would state "marriage" is only a union between a man and a
woman.  Well, those supporting this amendment got their platform, but the
Senate rejected the proposed amendment, so right now you won’t see it on your
ballot.  This one was easy for most folks on both sides because they know
where their votes are coming from, and it lends to easy election ads.

Now the
messed up vote, affecting a huge majority of us.  Today the House of
Representatives voted to

raise the fine for obscene or indecent programming
on your TV screen or your
radio to $325,000 from $32,500.  I don’t know what the infatuation is with
the 325 number is, but in any case, if you don’t think this will affect you,
just wait until you start watching your prime-time shows on the major networks,
those being CBS, NBC, ABC, FOX, and the new CW, or listening to your radio. 
No one in network land really knows how they can relate to the real world
anymore, because there aren’t any defined rules, and the FCC isn’t helping. 
A little while back some ABC folks asked the FCC if airing the uncut version of
"Saving Private Ryan," complete with swear words (fuck and shit being the most
of them), was going to get them fined.  The FCC folks told them, I think,
something like "we can’t determine what is finable until we get complaints." 
Most of you don’t realize that right now, 5, that’s right, five, people, are
given the power to decide what is obscene, indecent, and they are going to fine
your ass because they, the 5, five, that’s right, five fucking people, over this
entire United States, have the authority to decide, what you, me, your friends,
my friends, and their friends, should be able to see on TV or listen to on
radio.

You can complain, bitch, and moan because your shows aren’t edgy
anymore, but you know what?  – It is yours and my fault.  Why? 
Because we didn’t send mention to our elected people that pretty much says the
FCC folks shouldn’t have "Indecency/Obscenity" authority.  A small number
of folks are working to take away our freedoms, and those freedoms might be gay
rights, or your right to watch TV that reflects society today, but if we don’t
work to be a voice, tomorrow might let us lose our voice.  Those on the
side of restricting free speech are gaining ground, and those on the side of
free speech are losing it.  If you don’t think so, wait until the small
number start pushing the agenda of censoring things on cable and satellite TV
(i.e. The Sopranos), or on satellite radio (i.e. Howard Stern and Opie and
Anthony).  I can give a bunch of Benjamin Franklin quotes, but right now
this one seems most appropriate:  "They that can give up essential liberty
to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty or safety."

Right now I can’t really complain, but just worry, because I’ve become
accustomed to a lot of cable TV channels and satellite radio, so FCC regulations
aren’t there.  And if they do get there, we have really crossed a wrong
line.  A small group has been influencing our TV and radio listening, I
suppose I just wonder if the real groups will get off their asses and make as
much noise.

Sorry for this this sort of controversial blog, but these two
things really hit me today.  Let’s see how tomorrow goes.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Going Through TV Withdrawals, and a Bitch at the Racetrack.

By:

The Dude on the Right

We had pretty much a perfect weather weekend here in the Chicago area, and I’ll
talk to Stu about it during our podcast tomorrow.  So because I can’t give
you a synopsis about what I did this weekend, I’ll just give you some ramblings
off of my head.

In any case, last week I was in a funk.  I think I am
going through TV withdrawals since all of my standard shows are done, except
"The Sopranos" which concludes its season tonight.  I almost got sucked
back into "So You Think You Can Dance," but baseball was on.  I didn’t
accomplish much for the web site, at least on the surface (or at least that you
could see).  I accidentally made some huge errors during the animation
process that has delayed our latest episode of "Stu & The Dude Reviewin’ the
Movies for You!", our review of "Over the Hedge," about a week.  I watched
too much baseball, for some bizarre reason kept getting sucked into "Batman
Begins" on cable, which I think is a fabulous film, even bought the DVD, but
still haven’t reviewed it (that’s really got to be remedied soon), but I did
accomplish something and you can now find some small accomplishments on the "Movie
Preview
" page.  So far there are fourteen new movie previews posted,
with six more to come in the next day or so, and another six to ten ready for
posting by next weekend, just in time for your summer "What the hell movie
should we go see this weekend" questions.

And for some reason some of my
thoughts also keep coming back to my trip to
Arlington Park (a
horse racetrack here in Illinois), and I don’t really know why.  One
thought was the fact that the one jockey won every race he was in, five races in
all.  As someone always looking for easy money, and even though the horses
he was riding weren’t long shots, it would have been easy to double most of your
betting money that afternoon, if only you would know.  But isn’t that the
thrill, and danger, of gambling, the fact that you never know?  I did come
home with more money than I figured I would lose, so I still consider myself a
winner on the gambling front.  The other thing that really struck me about
that day was this bitch of a woman we encountered, and how I still wish I could
be creative on my feet rather than thinking of things to say later in the day.

Anyway, it was still early in the afternoon and the six of us there grabbed some
eats to get us through the afternoon.  Looking for a nice spot to eat our
pulled pork sandwiches and corn on the cob, I think it was Trash who spotted a
dude sitting by himself at a picnic table.  She nicely asked him if he was
saving the picnic table, to which he replied that he was only waiting for one
person, so if we wanted a spot to eat, to go ahead.  So half of us did. 
Our intention was simply to eat our food and be on our merry way, and the dude
seemed to truly understand that.  About halfway through our meal, the
person he was waiting for showed up, a dudette, and she proceeded to start to
chew him out a little bit for giving up part of the picnic table.  It
wasn’t a loud berating, but we could hear it, and it seemed bizarre, on the
level, that for this picnic table, you wanted it all to yourself, just the two
of you, where you could really be a lot more cozy on the lawn.  Anyway, I
don’t know if the dudette was his wife, girlfriend, sister, mistress, but at
least he had the balls to pretty much say "Just shut up and sit down," knowing
we would be leaving on our merry way soon.  Therein lies the "I wish I
could have been quicker on my feet" thing.  How many options would there
be?  Oh, the options are so many.  The first, and easiest, would have
just been to sit there the rest of the day.  Let my friends go on their
merry way betting and such, but just sit there, telling them "No, I like this
spot, I think I’m going to camp out here all afternoon, maybe fake phoning them
my bet for the next race."  Then there would be the "Pretend we are from
out of town and make her look like a dumb-ass" move by putting on a fake,
southern accent, and nicely go to the dude "Thank you so much for you
hospitality, sir, and giving us a nice spot to eat.  I hope we didn’t cause
any problem between you and your misses" as we were leaving.  And so many
other thoughts kept coming to mind, bending on the obnoxious to the making her
look like a complete horse’s ass (get it, we were at the horse races, horse’s
ass – oh man, I kill myself sometimes).

In any case, maybe getting that off my
chest here in this blog will help me to move on, realize that "Big Brother" will
be starting back up in a few weeks, and maybe I should use this time of lack of
TV shows productively.

On tap this week for Entertainment Ave! hopefully will
be our podcast of "Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up," more movie preview
postings, movie reviews of "Cars,"
"The
Omen
," and "A
Prairie Home Companion
," and I really want to do some CD reviews of the new
Dixie Chick’s album, an album from Blue October, and I’ll try like hell to get a
DVD review of "Batman Begins" done.  I’d like to say I promise to get all
of that done, but there is the season finale of "Deal or No Deal" that might eat
into some of my reviewing time.  God I sometimes hate TV.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Our New “What’s New?” and Blog Page, and A Dude Walking the Side of the Road.

By:

The Dude on the Right

First off you might have noticed some changes with this page and the updates you
receive.  Simply put, I’ve decided to combine our "What’s New?" listing
with our blog posting since, many times, they meld together.  Let me know
if you "like it," "hate it," or really don’t care.  I always like feedback.

That aside, this blog isn’t about changes on the website, this is about
something that is still kind of bothering me, knowing I should have probably
called 911, or is it 999, or is it *999, or is it *911.  Let’s start with
the initial incident.

I was driving back to the dude-pad from a company where I do
some consulting.  All of the traffic is cruising along the highway and I
couldn’t help but notice, up in the short distance, a dude walking along the
highway.  First thought, a hitchhiker, although you don’t see many of them
these days anymore.  At quicker glance the dude didn’t seem to be
hitchhiking because there wasn’t a thumb in site, and he was facing the
direction of the traffic, but as my dude-mobile came nearer to him, he didn’t
look like others I have seen walking the side of a highway.  As I traveled
past the dude I tried to take a look, and it looked like a younger dude, maybe
even high school age, with a backpack, and I wondered if I should do something. 
But what is that something I should do?  I could try and pull over and see
if he was okay, I could try to call the police, and here is where, sadly, I
ended up.  I decided to do nothing.

Lots of wrong thoughts have come into
my head since I got home, had dinner, and have been doing this, that, and the
other thing before writing this blog, and most of them have been bad,
disappointed in myself, and hoping the dude is okay.  There is the simple
thought that A) The dude was a psychopath, and if I had pulled over I might be
on the evening news in a way I wouldn’t ever see.  B)  The dude gets
picked up by a psychopath, and if I had pulled over and tried to help, he
wouldn’t be on the evening news in a way I would be sad to see.  C) 
Why didn’t anyone else pull over?

Then I wondered other things like, in a
fucked up kind of way, maybe life as a drifter is actually better than his life
at home, and stopping him would have sent him back to the hell that had been his
life, maybe I missed his broken down car and he was just on the way to the exit
to get to a phone, or maybe he was just a kid looking to walk along the highway
(and that could be a song lyric, but I digress).

But here is the weird thing,
and since I’m a nut-job, for me it’s crazy.  In the end, in the grand
scheme of things, I wasn’t sure of what number to call to report the dude
walking along the highway in the first place.  At home, or even at work,
the choice for an emergency is easy, it’s simply 911.  But ever since I’ve
sold cell phones, and have driven highways, the emergency number seems to be
different.  I know, the easy answer is that I should have just pried my
cell phone out of my pocket and at least tried to dial 911, but I became
conflicted.  Is the best route "911."  Should I go for "*999," or is
it "*998?"  Is the "*" necessary?  And "What Exit did I just pass up
if they ask?"

In the end I called no one, but still, in my head, I see this
kid/dude walking along the highway, and just hope, pray, and hope some more,
that he is okay.  Why?  Because I did the same as everyone else in my
front view and in my rear view mirror who drove past him – I did nothing. 
I really hope I wasn’t wrong to do that.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Drowning, Natalie Portman, Inventing, and a Nephew Dilemma.

By:

The Dude on the Right

This podcast entry is all about dilemmas.  So I’m working on getting this
podcast posted before "American Idol" starts, I get the audio portion uploaded,
and then my cell phone starts singing "Margaritaville" to me.  Since most
of my friends have their own song on my cell phone, I know it’s
Trash
As much as my podcast dilemmas are waiting for the world to hear, I now had
another one:  Do I take the call and maybe have to go back and catch up
with "American Idol" and get this posted, or Do I let the call go to voice-mail
and talk to her later?  An hour and some change later, here I am, catching
up with tonight’s "American Idol" episode, of which I see my Mom has already
e-mailed me her comments, and working now to get this podcast posted while
watching my singers try to belt out Elvis tunes.

In the end, her call led to a
larger intro paragraph rather than "I have some dilemmas with this podcast. 
Please listen and give me your opinion!", and I haven’t talked to Trash in quite
a while, so it was good to hear from her.  I just have to remind her of my
TV viewing schedule, and I still can’t believe I gave up, live, "American Idol"
for her.  Oh well.

So, this podcast has topics like my waiting for a
phone call from Natalie Portman, drowning in water, doing some inventing for a "phoner"
podcast, and most importantly, and this is where I need your help, what the hell
am I supposed to do about my nephew?  It’s a problem many Uncles might
have, but I need your advice.

Thanks for listening, and I really welcome your
advice on this matter.  It’s a matter most of us uncles have with our
nephews, and our nieces, so please, let me know what to do.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Download and Listen Here Subscribe Here



Yahoo! Podcasts






Natalie Portman, Angelina Jolie, Mia Hamm, and Wynona Ryder. They All Have Something in Common.

By:

The Dude on the Right

Here in Chicagoland this weekend, we had some fabulous weather.  Saturday
was just a tad cool, but today, Sunday, it was a perfect spring day.  So my
choices of the morning were "It’s a beautiful day!  I know what I should
do, I should sit in a movie theater for a couple of hours!  That would be a
great way to enjoy the weather!" or "It’s a beautiful day!  I know what I
should do, I should get out, maybe take a nice walk and smell the flowers! 
That would be a great way to enjoy the weather!"  Well there wasn’t any
flower-smelling, but I skipped the movies (my choices were "United 93" or
"Friends With Money") and did get to enjoy the weather a bit.  But there
was still some work to do, namely finishing our latest episode of "Stu & The
Dude Reviewin’ the Movies for You!" where we did some talk about Tom Cruise and
"Mission:
Impossible III.
"  That’s posted for your viewing pleasure.

As nice a
day today was, my weekend started out in fabulous fashion.  I decided to
figure out who my "Celebrity
Love Match
" was, and I was very much pleased at the women who would love me. 
At the top of the list was Natalie Portman, followed by Angelina Jolie, Mia
Hamm, and Wynona Ryder.  I have to say that I find all of those dudettes great and I was pretty excited, waiting for them all to fight over me, until I thought about this a
little bit.  Natalie Portman is a reported vegetarian, so I’m wondering
what she would think about my propensity for a decent porterhouse steak once in
a while.  I have no idea how Angelina Jolie ended up as a match, although
maybe since she’s a mom now, well, she wouldn’t try to have me carry around a
little vile of her blood.  I’m thinking Mia Hamm really wouldn’t be too
proud of my work-out schedule, and being Catholic, would I have to convert to
Judaism for Wynona?  I was supposed to try and work on some movie previews
this week, but I think most of my week might be spent trying to track down the
new love’s of my life.  I just hope that by the time I find Angelina she’s
already had the baby and has any extra pounds she might have put on worked off. 
Oh, and I hope she has her eyesight back because who knows what she sees in that
Brad Pitt dude.  Just look at the size of my hands and feet!

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

It Was Just Supposed to be a Trip to the Grocery Store, not a Blog Entry.

By:

The Dude on the Right

Coming back to the Dude-Pad this evening, I really expected nothing eventful,
but who would have thought a quick trip to the grocery store would have been so,
eventful?  No, that’s not the right word.  Maybe exciting?  Nah,
that’s not it even.  I guess all I can say is it gave me this blog
inspiration.  You can call the story what you want (I’m guessing "boring,"
though I hope "relatable" might be a better word choice), but for me, it was
filled with being a little peeved, being a good sport, watching a crash, being a
lot peeved, trying not to get in a car crash, and grinning.  All of that
with a little trip to a grocery store.

Anyway, like I said, I’m on the way
back to the Dude-Pad and realize there are a couple of things I needed to pick
up for dinner.  Actually there were three things I needed, two for dinner,
and one for my super-fancy heating & cooling system.  It was when I got
back home and I walked past my thermostat that I said, under-my-breath, 
"Fuck."  That was because I also needed some batteries for the thermostat,
which has been screaming at me for a couple of weeks to replace its batteries. 
Okay, not really screaming, just blinking indiscriminately "Replace batteries." 
Fine, I forgot the batteries, but I digress.  Let’s get back to the grocery
store.

So I pull into the parking lot, get an okay space, and I get a little
peeved.  It’s not something someone did to me, it’s what someone did to
someone else.  What heinous act did someone do?  They were too "f"-in
lazy to put their shopping cart in the cart-corral.  And you know what,
they were also too "f"-in lazy to even get their cart out of the way. 
Nope, they left it right behind another car.  Being the nice guy I am, and
it wasn’t too much of a diversion, I grabbed the cart and proceeded to corral it
in the cart-corral.  Man, I’m such a good dude.

I make it into the store,
grab the two things I need, and view a fantastic "cart into
person-walking-too-fast-and-not-paying-attention-as-they-got-to-the-end-of-an-isle"
crash.  I love these crashes because it’s like this person getting plowed
over by a shopping cart has never been in a grocery store before.  Ah, some
humor before soon being pissed.

And I was soon to be pissed.

Most of the
lines were long, but my local grocery store has four "self check-out" areas. 
Because of this the grocery store got rid of the "Express" lanes with an actual
checker, but my leaving should be short and swift, until, well, I get to the
self check-outs, and they are filled with people who have totally full shopping
carts.  What totally boggles my mind is that these people have no concept
that if they had actually gotten in a full-service line, their trip would
probably be shorter.  Why?  Because a normal line, with a checker and
a bagger, can knock out a full cart of groceries in no time, let alone a couple
or three, rather than you, the shopper, reaching into your cart, trying to get
the item to scan (God forbid you have to actually look up a fruit or vegetable
product code), bag it, fill up the bag, move the bag out of the bagging area and
back into your cart, and continuing this maddening cycle, when all I have are
two items to scan, bag, pay, and get the hell out of the store.  But no,
YOU THINK YOU ARE SAVING TIME BY TAKING YOUR FULL CART OF GROCERIES THROUGH THE
SELF CHECK-OUT LANE BUT ALL IT REALLY SHOWS IS THAT YOU ARE A COMPLETE HORSE’S
ASS!!!!!!

A couple of people line up behind me, and we all shake our heads at
the assholes in front of us.  Finally a spot opens up and about one minute
later, I am out the door.  God I hate inconsiderate people sometimes.

But
my trip to the grocery wasn’t finished, and I’m not exactly sure if I can put
the ending of this into words, but I’ll try.

I get to my car, safely stow my
bag of two items, which should have been three if I had bought the damn
batteries I still need, but anyway, I start to pull out of the grocery store
parking lot.  There I am, dude-mobile at the exit, looking to make a right
turn.  The road’s a little busy, I keep looking to the left to see if it’s
clear, and then a big ol’ SUV pulls up next to me in the left-turn lane.  I
can sort of see through his windows to see if my turn is clear, but can’t budge
any further forward because that would have put the nose of my mobile 1/4 into
the traffic lane.  I’m fine with that, but then he pulls forward just a tad
and now my window-viewing access is gone (to all people in SUVs –  You can
lag back a bit behind us shorter cars because you can see over us.  Unlike
Superman, I can’t see through metal you fucking assholes!  Quit being
pricks.  I’m sorry, back to trying to turn.)  Anyway, we’re sort of at
a stand-off.  I can’t see what’s coming from the left, the SUV prick is
still waiting to turn, and now the jerk-off behind me is getting impatient. 
All of a sudden the SUV sprints out into the street and gets his left turn,
followed quickly by a car in the lane I want to be in, cruising by.  And
then the miserable douche-bag behind me honks his horn.

There are many horn
honks.  There is the slight tap horn honk which nicely says "You are
daydreaming, but the light has turned green so get going" one.  There is
the longer horn honk which urges "Hey, we’ve been sitting here for a couple of
seconds with the light green and you are still putting on make-up.  Get
your dumb-ass going" one.  Then there is the "I’m an impatient prick and I
can’t see why you didn’t put yourself in harm’s way even though you couldn’t see
how quickly someone was coming from the other direction who might slam into your
car as you pull out of this grocery store parking lot" one.  The miserable
douche-bag behind me used the latter.

I’m not a road-rage kind of person, I
usually just kind of take it in stride, but looking in my rear-view mirror, I
could see this dude was really annoyed.  But there were still cars coming
my way, so I couldn’t safely make a turn, and then, finally, a little gap opens
up, and I safely make my right turn, with room, for really, only one car to
safely make the turn.  But not douche-bag man behind me.  Nope, he
quickly darts into the lane, makes the turn, and as I see him in my rear-view
mirror, I mutter to myself, "What an asshole."

Inquisitive as I am (and hoping
this dude isn’t a total psycho and trying to catch me), I keep checking my
rear-view mirror, and I now see him, leaning over to the passenger seat, trying
to clean up some spilling.  From the looks of things it looked like his
impatience made him spill his groceries all over the front seat, and in my head
I said to myself, "Self, you see, impatient douche-bags get their own payback in
the end."  I couldn’t help but grin, as I watched the dude in my rear-view
mirror trying to clean up the mess in his front seat, but then worried, just a
tad, that now this prick was going to rear-end me because he wasn’t paying attention to the world around him, let alone, the car, my car, in front of him.

Well, he didn’t rear-end
me, and I made it home, safe and sound, and now wrote a blog longer than some
reviews I write.  Oh well, I hope I at least depicted my trip to the
grocery store in a way most of you can understand, or could at least relate.

And, oh yea, in case you were wondering, and I’ll bet you weren’t, but dinner
turned out fabulous (fresh garlic and some good wine never hurt).

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!