Elizabethtown

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 2:03 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Elizabethtown
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst, Susan Sarandon, Jessica Biel, Alec Baldwin
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Release Date: 2005
Directed By: Cameron Crowe,

There’s a huge plus for this movie, namely the likes of Cameron Crowe being the Director, and it’s looking like a romantic comedy with a couple of twists.

It seems Drew (Orlando Bloom) made a big mistake at his working gig, his life is falling apart, and the only answer is to end it all. Then, to top it all off, his dad dies and he has to head to his hometown of Elizabethtown. On the way he meets a stewardess, I mean flight attendant, Claire (Kirsten Dunst), and now he has a buddy to vent with, and love ensues.

Claire helps Drew get through his bad times, Drew falls for Claire, and love is in the air.

This looks like a good movie for the both of everyone, and Cameron Crowe is pretty good at making movies that don’t get too sappy for the dudes yet just sappy enough for the dudettes, and this movie is already getting a little buzz for a statue nomination for one of those statue nomination folks.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Elektra

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:37 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Elektra
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jennifer Garner
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Release Date: 2005
Kiddie Movie: Nope.
Date Movie: Nope.
Gratuitous Sex: Just some skimpy outfits.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of people get their asses kicked.
Action: There’s lots of running around.
Laughs: Unfortunately most of them are supposed to be funny.
Memorable Scene: Nothing.
Memorable Quote: Nothing.
Directed By: Rob Bownan

“Daredevil” wasn’t that well received by critics, but it did do alright at the box office, so you would naturally assume there would be a sequel. Now I’m not sure this is how it worked out, but I see the movie people listening to every horny guy out there who couldn’t get enough of Jennifer Garner and her Elektra costume. I hear it now “We need to make a movie with that Garner chick. Is Elektra a real comic? Is there a back story or forward story we could use? I don’t like that story, let’s make another one but we can keep that ‘Hand’ thing to keep it real. Okay, get to it.”

Now, not being a comic book person, I have no idea if the story in the movie “Elektra” ever sort of took place in the comic version. My history with her story is based on the history of Elektra on the Marvel comic’s site, and the comic story is so much better, has much more potential, than the crap story they churned out for this film. For the movie we get re-introduced to Elektra, who has no ties to Matt Murdock (Daredevil) anymore, nope, now she has become a well-paid assassin. She has also honed many of her martial arts skills because now she is pretty much able to run around with super speed, and see a little bit into the future. Well, she gets hired to kill a father and daughter, but in the end she can’t do it. Now she turns from assassin to protector, because the Hand (some evil martial arts group with all kinds of weird powers) still wants the little girl dead. A fight here, a fight there, wolves coming out of some dude’s chest, a dudette who can kill you by blowing you a kiss, and eventually Elektra is back in her skimpy red outfit for one last battle.

Sure, there’s a little more to the story than that, but I’d really rather not bore you, if you go and see the movie you’ll get enough of that.

Like I said before, I don’t know if the storyline in movie Elektra was an actual plot line from the comic books, but I don’t think so, or if it is, they really messed it up (or it was a horrible comic). The best comic book movies don’t try to re-invent the story, the story has already been written (hence the fabulousness of the ‘Spider-Man’ series and the better ‘Batman’ movies). All you need to do is faithfully transfer that story to the big screen. And it’s too bad, because I liked Jennifer Garner as Elektra in “Daredevil,” and in reading the history of Elektra, there was tons of potential, but for me, they blew it. My suggestion – they should have used this movie to develop Elektra, give us more of an insight into how she went from pretty much being dead in “Daredevil” to becoming an assassin. That could have been a good enough movie in itself. Instead, they give you bits and pieces of Elektra’s history in flashbacks, and try to tie it with this nice film of Elektra finding herself.

Well, enough of this review. “Elektra” has a lot of potential but really fails in trying to be too nice of a movie. Garner looks fabulous in her red outfit, and really does great in the fighting scenes, but the story just lacked so much and had such dorky moments (Elektra, waiting for the big fight with her nemesis, in a big, old overcoat, stripping off the coat to reveal her skimpy, red, fighting suit) that I couldn’t get past them. It’s 1 ½ stars out of 5 for “Elektra.” Wait for video, or better yet, wait for cable for this one.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Election

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:43 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Election
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Matthew Broderick, Reese Witherspoon, Chris Klein, Jessica Campbell
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Release Date: 1999
Kiddie Movie: Don’t even think about it.
Date Movie: Sure, bring her along.
Gratuitous Sex: Some, but nothing gratuitous. More talk than action.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Chuckles and gut-busters usually caused by character lines totally unexpected.
Memorable Scene: Anytime Reese changes facial expression.
Memorable Quote: A couple. One by Tammy Metzler, “Sometimes, when I’m sad, I sit and watch the power station.” Another by Paul Metzler, “I really was surprised when Lisa Flannigan asked me for a ride home and then began blowing me.”
Directed By: Alexander Payne

Ahhh, high school.. Where kids learn about growing up, sometimes get laid, play sports, get involved in extracurricular activities, and just want to get the hell out of there. The groups are always the same, the teachers are always the same, but nowhere could I have imagined a run for student government president as came out in the movie “Election.”

“Election” tells the story of Tracy Flick (Reese Witherspoon), the always with the right answer, always involved in drama, yearbook, government, and any other student organization as long as she is usually the head honcho, and the always is the most known student in high school but not the most popular. It is finally her senior year and her dream is about to come true – President of student government. Enter Jim McAllister (Matthew Broderick), the bestest teacher in the school, the one everyone goes to with their problems, the one always there grooming the youngins for adult life, and the one who finally gets sick of miss goody-to-shoes Tracy. He can’t stand that Tracy is running unopposed for President and decides that she needs to lose, and who better to lose against than Mr. Popularity – Paul Metzler (Chris Klein). So, teacher Jim convinces Paul to run, and all is well until Paul ends up with his sister’s girlfriend (or wishes she was her girlfriend), so Tammy Metzler (Jessica Campbell) figures she can get back at Paul by running for President too.

Sounds a little confusing, huh? Well, it’s not, and throw in some comical sidelines of teacher Jim’s screwed-up life at home and you get an adult comedy that won’t be seen by many people because it’s kinda artsy, kinda stuck in only a few theaters, but had me laughing and really enjoying the performance by Reese (her ability to switch facial expressions from concerned to cheery to totally pissed-off to pleased to a vindictive bitch is most excellent), by Broderick (he’s so much better playing the confused character rather than the hero), and by Campbell (she’s great as the lesbian high-schooler who is the loner yet finds her place should really be at the catholic school for girls and does everything she can to get there). A lot of dry humor, some out-right laugher spots, and a twisted look at how lives can become unmanageable in just one day.

Leave the kids at home for this one, it’s definitely for the older crowd able to reflect back on their own twisted high school lives. Too adult and you might be offended, too young and you might not be able to relate yet.

It’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Election.” It made me laugh, made a lot of the audience laugh, and the two ladies leaving the theater next to me said it was pretty good, too.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Eight Legged Freaks

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:39 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Eight Legged Freaks
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: David Arquette, Kari Wuhrer
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Warner Bros.
Release Date: 2002
Directed By: Ellory Elkayem

Alright, spiders are now big and scary and we all hate that. From the preliminary things I’ve read this is supposed to be some kind of spoof of those old time, out of this world, horror movies.

The trailer looks pretty funny, this one looks like it won’t take itself at all seriously, and that’s a good thing for a movie about giant spiders that terrorize a town.

“Arachnophobia” had the world afraid about normal sized spiders, this one is a spoof. It could be good fun or maybe just really crappy. I’m hoping for the former, especially because it’s got Kari Wuhrer.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Eight Crazy Nights

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:16 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Eight Crazy Nights
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Voices of Adam Sandler, Jackie Titone, Austin Stout, Kevin Nealon, Rob Schneider
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Columbia Pictures
Release Date: 2002
Kiddie Movie: It’s not a kiddie cartoon.
Date Movie: It’s not a date cartoon.
Gratuitous Sex: It’s got a three-boobed woman.
Gratuitous Violence: Wedgies and tumbling in a port-a-potty.
Action: None.
Laughs: Ehh.
Memorable Scene: The holiday banquet was very disturbing.
Memorable Quote: Whitey’s sister: “Whitey, they were giving lobster bibs in the bathroom!”
Directed By: Seth Kearsley

Adam Sandler had a chance to make a Holiday classic. Alright, maybe not a classic, but at least a nice movie you could watch with the kids. Instead he made “Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights.”

How’s this for a nice holiday story. Davey is in his early thirties. He’s the town drunk, causing havoc for anyone in a good mood, especially during the holidays. In front of the judge again, well, the judge is ready to throw the book at him except an old man, Whitey, stands up and wants to take Davey under his wing, hoping to bring Davey back to the good side of society. The judge agrees, so now Davey is an assistant referee to Whitey for the youth leagues. There was something in his past that made Davey the way he is. Whitey knows it, the old love of his life Jennifer knows it, only Davey can’t face his past to get to his future. With the help of Whitey, Davey eventually comes to terms with his past, and in the process helps Whitey to realize the love the townsfolk have for him.

It’s a nice premise, could be sort of nice for the entire family, except Sandler and his writers turn to crap to try to make a nice story funny. And I literally mean crap, as in once scene where Davey finds it funny to dump Whitey over in a port-a-potty, Whitey emerging covered in crap, Davey hosing Whitey down turning him into a crap-sicle, and then having deer lick the crap off of Whitey. And, oh yea, the movie also has a three-boobed woman.

This movie is rated PG-13 and it’s not because Sandler and friends made it funny with poop and sex jokes. It’s because Sandler and friends made it un-funny with poop and sex jokes, and this makes me somewhat sad because Sandler could have either a) made a decent gross-out cartoon or b) dropped his name from the marquee (therefore not scaring away some parents from bringing their kids), dropped the poop and sex jokes, and made a holiday cartoon that could have been rated PG, or even G, that the entire family could enjoy. Then, of course, Sandler could have used real people in this movie, instead of it being a cartoon, and it probably would have been funnier because real people are involved. The potential was there for either, instead they made a nice story into crap.

I generally like Adam Sandler style humor, but this movie just lost it on too many levels. It’s 1 ½ star out of 5 for “Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights.” And, oh yea, the movie opens with a movie short called “A Day With Meatball,” an unfunny movie about a dog.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Eastern Promises

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:40 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Eastern Promies
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Viggo Mortensen, Naomi Watts
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Focus Features
Release Date: 2007
Directed By: David Bronenberg

The trailer for this film hints at a lot of things going on, from things like maybe the mob over in London, a diary that might have answers to secrets maybe better left not written, and somehow Anna (Naomi Watts) caught in the middle of it all when a teenage girl gives birth and Anna is bent on investigating who the baby-daddy is and that diary is her key, but it’s in Russian, so Anna has to find help in translating it.

This looks to be a movie with tons of suspense, and I like David Cronenberg as a Director (he did “A History of Violence”), so I’m just hoping it makes its way to my local gigaplex since it’s being release on the indier side, Focus Features.

Could be good, could be bad, and part of the rated R-ness is for sexuality and nudity, and hoping it comes in the form of Naomi Watts, but probably not.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Eagle Eye

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:57 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Eagle Eye
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Michelle Monaghan, Michael Chiklis, Billy Bob Thornton
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Paramount Home Entertainment
Release Date: 2008
Kiddie Movie: It might make them never use their cell phone again.
Date Movie: She might cuddle with you for comfort or just roll her eyes.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah.
Gratuitous Violence: There’s a lot of people who die, but you don’t see it.
Action: There’s a lot of people who die, but you don’t see it.
Laughs: Only for the absurdity of some of the scenes.
Memorable Scene: Who knew Morse Code could save the world.
Memorable Quote: “We’re already in mid-shitstorm.”
Directed By: D.J. Caruso

While watching “Eagle Eye” I couldn’t help but wonder if there was a day, a few years ago, when a group of friends were getting liquored up, watching a bunch of movies, namely “I, Robot,” “War Games,” “The Italian Job,” and maybe even “Enemy of the State,” and said to each other, in an altered state, “Dudes, we could make a movie combining all of these,” and then, you know what, they did. I would toss in “Live Free or Die Hard,” only I believe that movie was probably already in development by the time “Eagle Eye” was being drafted, but hey, you can’t say that the “Eagle Eye” tunnel scene isn’t reminiscent of the “Live Free or Die Hard” tunnel scene, just substitute a helicopter for a military drone aircraft?

Okay, maybe the premise for the story of “Eagle Eye” wasn’t developed in my fictional universe, but it does takes a lot of premises from a bunch of different movies, with the end result that computers really only do what they are programmed to do. “I, Robot” had the three rules for robots; “Eagle Eye” has the Preamble and Constitution. In the end computers just want to be our friends, and look out for us.

In terms of story, for this one you get Jerry (Shia LaBeouf) and Rachel (Michelle Monaghan). They are ordinary people, in fairly ordinary lives, and then, somehow, their lives become intertwined by the voice of a woman who seems to need them to carry out some dastardly deed. The voice dictates to Jerry instructions that get him in a jam with the FBI and then helps him escape from the FBI, while the voice also turns Rachel into a distraught mother with the fear of her son being killed, thus dictating her actions. And as the movie goes along, Jerry and Rachel can’t seem to figure out how this voice seems to be able to control just about every technological part of their lives, from subway trains to street lights, from junkyard robots to power grids, and in the middle of it all, we start to see a plot developing, which we must suppose is some dastardly terrorist plot, but, ahh, other things are at work here.

And you know what, I’m not going to directly give away what is directly at work here, although I sort of already hinted at it, only to say that most every aspect of this movie is unbelievable in our world, yet somehow believable if the “ringleader” of this story turns out to be who she is.

So, here we go. If you want to totally escape reality, “Eagle Eye” should take you there, or maybe freak you out as to what might be possible in a few years. The weird thing is that I kind of liked it, in the same way I liked the movie “I, Robot,” and loved Morgan (Billy Bob Thornton) as the FBI guy who is flustered by technology. There are a lot of things blowing up, you might wonder if someone can really change stoplights at will, who knew that the baggage handling of an area could be so much fun if you aren’t being shot at, and if you live near some electric towers, you might think about moving.

As a Chicago person, in a little aside for this review, in the theater I was unsure if I saw it, but thanks to the DVD and slow-motion, at the beginning of the movie there is a helicopter shot of the Chicago El, St. James Catholic Church in Chicago (where I used to go to mass sometimes when I was in college), and Keating Hall, the “sports center” where I used to do a killer can-opener of the high-dive board in the pool at Illinois Institute of Technology, where, yes, I went to college, and also where all of this reviewing stuff began for me. I know it’s dorky, but for me it’s always cool to see things I am totally familiar with in a movie.

Anyway, “Eagle Eye” is an action-filled movie with tons of seemingly implausible scenarios, but get the DVD realizing this and you should have a good time on your couch, and sure, you might laugh when some things happen, but hey, that’s what movies are sometimes about. And as hard as this might be hard to believe, I was almost ready to give this movie a 4 star rating, until, in Hollywood fashion, the poignant ending I envisioned was changed into a feel-good ending, so I’m dropping it ½ star to 3 ½ stars out of 5 because someone else in this movie should be dead. With that, I was hoping, when watching the DVD, that the alternate ending it contained would be the one I was hoping for, but all it really did was sort of set up a sequel. Blah.

And speaking of the DVD, for the movie-geek crowd, the 2-disc version does have quite a few extras that are interesting if you love seeing how movies are made, especially mixing in seeing behind-the-scene things on location, a nicely detailed “Making of…” features, and a feature with the Director of Eagle Eye, D.J. Caruso, having a discussion with John Badham, the director of “War Games,” with how the movies are similar, yet different. I always love a fun gag-reel and the 2-disc version has it, and as usual, we can see (and be happy) that some scenes were deleted. You also get commentary stuff, if you want it, more scary stuff about your cell phone, and I’m just sad they didn’t have an “On Location…” for Chicago. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to like looking at my old church from above.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

A3

Date: November 9, 2000
Venue: The Metro
City: Chicago, IL
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

So you are a fan of “The Sopranos” and every week you hear the opening theme song, “Woke Up This Morning,” and say to yourself “Self, I wonder who does that song?” Maybe even one week you actually watch all of the credits to see if they say who does the song, but sadly, it isn’t listed.

You, however, are not as anal as I am, so you just let it go, as opposed to me who starts doing internet searches up the wazoo and finally finds that the song is by a band from across the pond called Alabama 3, for some legal reason called A3 here in the states, and then the challenge is to hit all of the local stores around me to find their CD because I can’t wait a couple of days for it if I order it over the internet.

I buy the CD for one song and find a band that has such a strange mix of influences that I can’t help but like this band.

With that it was with much anticipation that I made my way to The Metro in Chicago to catch a band with so much sound that I wondered how it would fit on the little Metro stage. It was a tight fit on the stage, but sadly not as tight a fit in the audience, and for a band that was able to draw two dudes all the way from Indianapolis, Indiana at this show, as well as one dude from overseas who says that A3 can fill a place five times the size of The Metro back home, it ended up being an intimate show for not too many people by a band that you could see was slightly disappointed in the audience showing, but still gave the show their all.

A3 opened with “Woke Up This Morning” and I, at first, was kinda worried. The crowd wasn’t that big in the first place so I figured that having heard the song they wanted to hear, well, the audience might begin to thin as the night went on, especially since it looked like most of the crowd didn’t really know any more of the band’s songs. But you know how I know A3 did their job? Because it didn’t seem like anybody left until the lights came on after “Sinking…”

Me, I knew a good majority of the songs because “Exile on Coldharbour Lane” had been on a high rotation in this dude’s CD playlist. They didn’t disappoint me with the likes of The First Minister of The First Presleyterian Church of Elvis the Divine, Dr. D. Wayne Love, leading the crowd through “Hypo Full of Love”, then a rousing “Mao Tse Tung Said”, and later “U Don’t Dans 2 Tekno Anymore” showed some of the country in this band’s mix of country, acid, house music with funky blues mixed in. But this hour and a half show also highlighted much of A3’s new material from “La Peste” which has quickly gone to the top of my “must get” list of CD’s. “Too Sick to Pray” hits that great mix of techno and blues that A3 does so well, a nice tribute to the country side with the Hank Williams cover in “Mansion on the Hill,” and at first I thought, as D. Wayne said “I wanna play one we didn’t write,” and the band went into John Prine’s “Speed of the Sound of Loneliness”, and the crowd reacted so well, that “Speed…” should have been the show closer and not “Sinking…”, but as “Sinking…” wrapped up the show, well, it’s just as good a show closer.

Some other highlights included another new song “Wade Into the Water,” which they labeled as REO Speedwagon crossed with Merle Haggard (D. Wayne said he liked REO Speedwagon for their album covers), and I really liked “Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlife.”

A3 is a band that to me seems hard to market in the radio environment of today, at least here in the United States. You’ve got techno with your traditional looping and house beat. Then you’ve got some classic country mixed in, the inspirations of people like Merle Haggard and Hank Williams. Now add a touch of gospel. And finally take the inspiration of a bunch of blues greats. All together you get A3, a mix of sound that sadly won’t make the dance stations, is tough to add to the rock stations, is almost too alternative for alternative, and you couldn’t put the country sounding songs on a country station today if God said so. But A3 puts on a great live show and if you like “Woke Up This Morning” from “The Sopranos,” well, I highly recommend picking up their latest CD and trying to see them live. Who knows, maybe they’ll make it on the radio anyway.

Let’s wrap up my preaching and just say that A3 preaches just a little bit better than I do, especially this night at The Metro. The crowd stayed, had a good time through songs they didn’t seem to know, and when a band can do that, well, the band is doing their job. It’s TWO “I’m Converted!” THUMBS UP! for A3 and I really hope more people find them because I look forward to their return to Chicago.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Yourself or Someone Like You

Artist: Matchbox Twenty
Listenability Scale: 100%
Released by: Atlantic/Lava Records
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Every now and then you hear a band you just can’t seem to get enough of. You play the CD over and over until you think that it’s all you can take, and then you get to see the band live and all of a sudden now you have images to go along with the songs so you play that CD over and over, again. All of a sudden you forget about all of the other bands you liked because this band is it, and wish there were more bands out there like these guys. Well, the latest band that does this for me has these five guys calling themselves matchbox 20, and the CD is called “Yourself or Someone Like You.”

Why matchbox 20? Why “Yourself or Someone Like You?” Well, maybe my listening tastes need something different from the angry, the world hates us, alternative stuff that has been shoved down our throats for the last few years. Maybe I’m tired of trying to figure out what the Eddie Vedder’s of the world are trying to say and am looking for rock and roll with lyrics that are intelligible (has anyone ever really figured out the lyrics to “Yellow Leadbetter” yet?), a band that tosses in some harmonies, a band using more that three chords for a song, and a band that still keeps the energy level that alternative bands have brought to the stage. All of that seems to happen with matchbox 20.

Rob Thomas leads the five guys by handling the lead vocals and most of the songwriting. Filling in the other four of this talented band are Kyle Cook playing one hell of a lead guitar, Adam Gaynor handling rhythm guitar, Brian Yale on bass, and Paul Doucette pounding out the drums.

So that’s the band, what about the CD? Well, “Yourself or Someone Like You” can probably be over-analyzed by the best of them. Many of the lyrics jump right out at you, making you think one thing, but as you look at the entire song you see something entirely different. But then there are the subtle lines that themselves can keep ringing in your ears, lyric lines like “She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway” from “3 am.” It’s just different. Without going into therapy figuring out the lyrics, I’ll just say that the CD is remarkably easy to listen to. From the acoustic driven, cool harmonies, and winding down “Hang” to the electric guitar, up-beat, and in your face “Long Day,” this CD will have you drifting calmly at one point and then singing while nearly banging your head a little later.

It’s refreshing hearing a band drawing on the clean-sounding rock and pop that was present in the eighties, but they’ve changed it a notch to keep it fresh and new for the nineties. The only problem, at least in the Chicago radio spectrum I’m stuck in – is that no one seems to play them. And you know, I don’t think it’s because no one likes them, but in all honesty their sound doesn’t fit the stale playlists that are hitting my radio. That’s really too bad because for a change there’s a band that is fresh, mixing clean rock of old with energy of today, and the number three market in the country has yet to recognize them. But me, I found them, and am telling you that if you don’t want to take a chance buying the CD then head to their web site or the Atlantic Records site and check out some of the audio samples. If you’re still not sure, head to your favorite records store and pop the CD in a listening station. I think you just might like the energy, you just might like the musical stylings, and you just will probably head home with the CD.

In all honesty, I can listen to every song on the CD over and over and not skip any of them – and that’s rare. A very cool band, a very cool CD, and here’s hoping you like them too. I won’t do this often, but it’s a 100% for “Yourself or Someone Like You” from matchbox 20 on the Entertainment Ave! listenability scale. It’s good to hear a talented band doing something a little different again, it’s good to hear harmonies and backing vocals again, and it’s good to hear clean intensity for a change. It’s good to hear matchbox 20.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Here’s Your Sign

Artist: Bill Engvall
Listenability Scale: 90%
Released by: Warner Bros. Nashville A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Bill Engvall is one funny guy. My appreciation for his humor started when I saw him open for John Michael Montgomery who opened for Reba, and then continued to grow when I saw him play emcee between Jo Dee Messina, Toby Keith, and Joe Diffie. I guess, like most good comics, his talent comes from translating everyday life situations into anything we can laugh at. I kind of liken him to Bill Cosby. Mr. Engvall goes from golf, to the fair, to the family and gives a reason for people to laugh. Now, it’s really kind of hard to review a comedy CD without really listing all of the jokes, but that can’t even relate the jokes because a lot of times it’s in the voice and inflections of the comedian that the jokes take a life. So, I guess I’ll just kind of go through the track by track synopsis thing and kind of abbreviate.

Track #
Track Title
1.
Introduction
Just what it says.
2.
I Love Golf
Who hasn’t played golf, or any other sport with the “self-proclaimed” pro. Bill relates it perfectly.
3.
Going to the Fair
He puts it simply. “If you’re ever feeling down about yourself, just go to a state fair and look around. I saw people who could be their own dad….” And who does have this talent for butter carving?
4.
We’ve Got a Full House
The addition of pets to your house, and great comedic differences between cats and dogs.
5.
Here’s Your Sign
Jeff Foxworthy has rednecks, Bill Engvall has signs. Yep, I agree, stupid people should wear them. And he raises some good points of warnings on products – they’re for stupid people, and if the stupid people wore signs we wouldn’t sell these products to them. Like why does a tube of Preparation H have to have a warning like “Do not take orally,” or “avoid spraying this into an open flame” on a can of shaving cream. This little track also starts with a hilarious take on Texans, especially their language like “I tell you what” being a complete sentence.
6.
Nobody Disciplines Their Kids Anymore
He’s right, in a comical way, what’s up with this whole “time-out” thing, anyway. Let’s try a knock-out. Where was that “sitting in a chair and thinking about it” when we were growing up?
7.
Things Have Changed
It used to be fun going out on Halloween, and where were those car seats when we were growing up? Nope, didn’t have them, as he puts it, “we were up there jumpin’ on the front seat.”
8.
Caught Big Time
A great segment on the trials and tribulations of kids growing up, asking about sex, and parents almost getting caught in the throws of passion.
9.
I.G. Joe
A cute take on how your children can’t pronounce things, how dinosaurs might just be extinct because of Barney, and where is “white-trash” Barbie?
9.
Baby Barf and the Turkey Hunt
I think I’ll start to work on the “baby barf” alarm clock, I just hope he doesn’t want any royalties!
9.
Tell Me What I’m Thinking
There are certain places fingers are not meant to be put.
9.
Love Magic
Bill does a great take on what keeps a marriage together. Simply put – don’t play board games together.

I like a great comedian as much as the next person, there is nothing like a great laugh, especially when you’re laughing at yourself. His jokes are basically clean, but geared towards adults or at least those who can understand the adult world. The CD is a great representation of his live show, but like just about any comedian, go see him live. Just be sure you wear some adult diapers because you might find yourself peeing in your pants. As a comedy CD, Bill Engvall’s “Here’s Your Sign” is a winner. It’s a 90% on the listenability scale, and if you see his name anywhere near your town, go to see him live – that will tip it to 100%. That’s it for this one, I’m The Dude on the Right! L8R!!