Tag: Alec Baldwin

Elizabethtown

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 2:03 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Elizabethtown
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst, Susan Sarandon, Jessica Biel, Alec Baldwin
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Release Date: 2005
Directed By: Cameron Crowe,

There’s a huge plus for this movie, namely the likes of Cameron Crowe being the Director, and it’s looking like a romantic comedy with a couple of twists.

It seems Drew (Orlando Bloom) made a big mistake at his working gig, his life is falling apart, and the only answer is to end it all. Then, to top it all off, his dad dies and he has to head to his hometown of Elizabethtown. On the way he meets a stewardess, I mean flight attendant, Claire (Kirsten Dunst), and now he has a buddy to vent with, and love ensues.

Claire helps Drew get through his bad times, Drew falls for Claire, and love is in the air.

This looks like a good movie for the both of everyone, and Cameron Crowe is pretty good at making movies that don’t get too sappy for the dudes yet just sappy enough for the dudettes, and this movie is already getting a little buzz for a statue nomination for one of those statue nomination folks.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Departed

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 2:31 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

The Departed
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Martin Sheen, Mark Wahlberg, Alec Baldwin
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Warner Bros.
Release Date: 2006
Directed By: Martin Scorsese

I guess this is a remake of some big Asian film from a few year’s back, but if it gets released on its tentative date, October 6th, Oscar buzz will already start hitting this film if only because Martin Scorsese is directing and it’s got a great cast of Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Martin Sheen, Mark Wahlberg, Alec Baldwin. From what I can gather you get the Irish-American mafia infiltrating the Boston police department, and the Boston police department infiltrating the Irish-American mafia, and they all have their allegiances both to who they’re spying on and who they’re spying for.

Right now the movie looks to be very entertaining, and it’s rated R for three great reasons in my book, strong brutal violence, pervasive language, some strong sexual content and as an added bonus, drug material.

Scorsese’s got the track record, especially when it comes to movies like this, so I doubt he’ll screw it up.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Cooler

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:41 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

The Cooler
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: William H. Macy, Maria Bello, Alec Baldwin, Shawn Hatosy, Ron Livingston
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Lions Gate Films
Release Date: 2003
Kiddie Movie: Definitely not.
Date Movie: It’s good for the both of you.
Gratuitous Sex: Lots of it. Yea! But a little too real. Boo! Personally, I didn’t need to see William H. Macy’s butt, but hey, like I said, it was too real.
Gratuitous Violence: There are some quality beatings.
Action: No real chase scenes.
Laughs: Quite a few.
Memorable Scene: I would have to say the Shelly/Mikey sit down in the back room. Especially when Shelly punches Mikey’s girlfriend in the pregnant belly.
Memorable Quote: Lots of them, but Shelly questioning Bernie, as they looked at a hooker walking away, asking “I’d bet you’d like to birdie that hole?” gives you a good sense of the film.
Directed By: Wayne Kramer

Now I know why I always lose money in Vegas. I think all of my friends are coolers. Yea, that’s got to be it, because when I’m gambling by myself it always seems I’m ahead, but if one of them is around, or comes by me to say “Hi”, my luck changes in an instant. Yea, that’s got to be the reason. That or the fact that maybe I’m just a cooler. Or maybe it’s just that the house always has the edge. Oh well, in any case there’s a movie out called “The Cooler” and it’s fantastic.

“The Cooler” gives us the story of Bernie Lootz played brilliantly by William H. Macy (and might I make a little aside saying that Macy is one lucky guy – not only is he blessed with being a talented actor, he also gets to feel up Maria Bello in the movie). He is a sad-sack, and also, what is known in the casino world, as a cooler. Pretty much if you are on a hot streak at the casino, if a cooler comes around you, sits next to you for a hand, maybe throws some dice, your luck changes in an instant. You would think that anyone with that talent would be well worth any amount of money to a casino owner, but sadly for Bernie, he is in the debt of owner Shelly (Alec Baldwin) so he’s pretty much working for nothing. It’s his last week working for Shelly, his debt finally paid, and Bernie’s looking to get the hell out of town because rather than be happy with his talent, it drives him crazy, especially because he’s unlucky, too.

Then one day he tries to make waitress Natalie’s (Bello) life a little better, and oddly enough they get together. Bernie’s not that smooth with the ladies, so Natalie helps him along, reassuring him that she’s had worse, and slowly they both fall in love. This is not good for Shelly because a Bernie in love brings lady luck to his side, and suddenly his cooler powers turn to, well, warmer powers, because now everyone starts winning in his presence. This is doubly bad for Shelly because financial backer Nicky (Arthur Nascarella) and his consultant Larry (Ron Livingston) are looking to transform the Shangri-La into a flashy casino for the Vegas strip. Shelly, on the other hand, prefers old-school casinos, where you could break someone’s kneecaps if they try to cheat.

But Bernie’s good fortune takes a bad turn when he runs into his estranged son Mikey (Shawn Hatosy) and his pregnant girlfriend. Bernie gives him some dough to help with the coming grandchild, then finds Mikey in trouble with Shelly. Being the good dad, Bernie agrees to take Mikey’s debt, meaning he’s going to be working for Shelly a while longer. Shelly also takes the lead by subtly suggesting that, for her own sake if you get what I mean, Natalie should get out of Bernie’s life.

Does Bernie end up with Natalie? Can Shelly convince Nicky and Larry to leave the casino alone? Will ‘N Sync ever record another album now that Joey Fatone is becoming a gigantic movie star (he plays a lounge singer in “The Cooler”)? Well, the first two questions are answered, the last, well, only time will tell.

“The Cooler” just has fabulous acting by everyone involved, and couple that with a great dramatic story and you get a fantastic movie. Alec Baldwin played a slimy character in “The Cat in the Hat” and I thought he sucked. In “The Cooler” as Shelly, Alec makes up for that mistake one hundred fold. You loathe him for some of his actions, yet inside the man there is a twisted sense of caring for his friends, namely his dealing with aging crooner, Buddy, played by Paul Sorvino. Macy continues to be one of the most solid actors out there, and Maria Bello is fabulous in her portrayal as Natalie, a giant acting leap from the last movie I saw her in, as Liz, the owner of Coyote Ugly (although I did like her in that movie also, this one really lets her talents shine). This is truly an adult movie, with some sex scenes between Bernie and Natalie that present sex in a real light, and some quality violence that really shows how things probably were in the casino industry. It’s 5 stars out of 5 for “The Cooler.”

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Dr. Seuss’ The Car in the Hat

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:22 Long
A Review by:
– The Dude on the Right

Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Mike Myers, Spencer Breslin, Dakota Fanning, Alec Baldwin, Kelly Preston, Sean Hayes
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: Universal Pictures
Release Date: 2003
Kiddie Movie: No.
Date Movie: No.
Gratuitous Sex: Lots of it implied.
Gratuitous Violence: Comic style.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Nah.
Memorable Scene: None.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Bo Welch

I’m not usually appalled at a movie, in fact I am one of the most easily amused moviegoers that there is, but the movie version of “Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat” just appalled me. Why? Because they took a cute and comical story and turned it into crap. What’s going to upset me more will be if this movie actually makes money. Why am I so upset? Well, maybe it’s Alec Baldwin (he plays a slime-ball man intent on sleeping with the kids mom) exclaiming to the dog “I can’t believe you whizzed on my taco!”, or maybe it was The Cat explaining to the kids when they almost take The Fish’s advice “Are you gonna listen to him? He lives where he pees!”, or maybe it was the scene where The Cat works to make the couch a little more bouncy where they show The Cat complete with butt-crack, or maybe it was The Cat describing the S.L.O.W. (his wacky car) as the Super Luxurious Omnidirectional Watchamajigger, and that it was previously called the Super Hydraulic Instantaneous Transporter, yes, the S.H.I.T., although they at least stop Conrad (Spencer Breslin) from actually saying it, or maybe it was the shameless plug for the Universal Studios ride. I can usually laugh at anything, but sadly there wasn’t anything to laugh at in this movie.
The story pretty much has Mom (Kelly Preston) as a realtor, who is hosting a party that night. Quinn (Baldwin) keeps trying to convince Mom that Conrad should be in military school every time he visits. Mom leaves the kids at home while she’s at work, instructing them not to enter the living room. The kids are babysat by Mrs. Kwan (Amy Hill). Well, it starts raining, Mrs. Kwan falls asleep, and here comes The Cat (Mike Myers), pretty much sounding and acting like Austin Powers. He begins a day of mischief, the kids learn a lesson, and all is well. All is well except the desecration of Dr. Seuss because although they sometimes have a rhyme in the movie, for some reason I’m thinking that The Cat being lactose intolerant was nowhere in Dr. Seuss’ original plan.

Alright, I’m done ranting. Based on the information above, if you want to take your kids to this movie go right ahead because that’s the kind of humor that’s in this movie. Oh yea, also be ready to explain to your kids why it’s funny for The Cat to stare lovingly and call the garden digging device a “dirty ho.” It’s -1 star out of 5 for “The Cat in the Hat.”