Author: Andy Labis

By:

The Dude on the Right
Last night I sort of watched "Dancing With the Stars," especially for my
favorites, Julianne Hough, Edyta, and Kym Johnson.  Isn’t it kind of funny
that we don’t need to reference Edyta with her last name anymore?  Anyway,
I don’t care about any of the "celebrity" female dancers much (nor the dude
celebrities, but I did find Adam Carolla and Penn Jillette fun to watch), wonder
why Julianne wore a giant, yellow outfit (rather than a skimpy, yellow outfit),
and Kym actually looked hotter than Julianne.  But tonight the dancing is
over because tonight is about singing (and cuter dudettes).

My brilliant
dancing analysis will come later as their Spring season goes on, but here are my
musical musings about tonight and singing, and it’s The Beatles night, as
opposed to John Lennon and Paul McCartney night last week.  How much did
the "American Idol" folks pay for the rights to use these songs that mediocre
singers could butcher, anyway? …

Amanda Overmyer
– Sings – Back in the U.S.S.R.
– Something just sounds wrong, like she’s not in synch with the band or
something, but it’s not working for me.  This song doesn’t need a southern
twang to it.  And I don’t like her bouncing up and down while she is
singing.

Kristy Lee Cook
– Sings – You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away
– What the hell did you ever listen to on the radio?  You picked the song
based on title.  You don’t know any Beatles’ songs?  It’s kind of
"new" to you?
– She’s cute but the song is in the wrong key (she can’t hit the low notes), and
if she keeps going on it’s because she is cute.  She did hit the high note
at the end, but the performance seemed kind of lame.  At least Paula
thought she looked gorgeous.

David Archuleta
– Sings – The Long and Winding Road
– You thought "Dang it!" when you forgot the lyrics last week.  Luckily you
didn’t think "Oh, F&^$, how in the hell could I forget the words to a song in
front of 30 million F$#%ing people?"
–  He shows his vocal pipes this week (again) so we know he can sing the
slow songs, and if this keeps up he’s the next Josh Groban.  He needs to
prove he can sing something up-tempo in my book to make it to the ultimate pop
level.  He’ll be in it for the long haul even if he sucks just because the
girls like him.

How stupid was that iPhone commercial.  I understand
product placement, but Ryan Seacrest should be fired because he isn’t even
trying anymore.  Last week he busted on Jim Carrey promoting "Dr. Seuss’
Horton Hears a Who!", and this week it was the iPhone.  Either he is the
worst pitch-man ever, or he is the greatest at scripts written up as "Promote
this by having the attitude of "What the hell is this shit?"

Michael
Johns
– Sings – A Day  in the Life
– This is not a good song to trim, though I thought he did a decent job trying
to pull it off.  To do it his way he probably needed a month to work to
rehearse it (and a different band), but I think the dudettes will find him cute
enough to pull him to the next round.

Brooke White
– Sings – Here Comes the Sun
– She’s married.  Damn, so much for fantasies about my future wife.
– No matter what, I think we have already found our next "Carrie Underwood
Country Star" no matter if she wins or not.  She performs, is purty, and
somehow seems to be able to put her mark on every song.  I don’t care what
Randy says, what Paula says, or what Simon says, because I really liked her
"fly-a-way" performance and her attitude, but Brooke, don’t beat yourself up so
much because for me it worked.

David Cook
– Sings – Daytripper – The Whitesnake version
– He’s sticking with the rocker mode, and this is a song that works for him, but
I’m thinking the kids in the audience don’t understand the voice box thing. 
He should have just stuck to rocking and not gone Peter Frampton on our ass. 
There’s still something I don’t like about him because it just seems he is
copying people.

Carly Smithson
– Sings – Blackbird
– She’s starting to get that "crazy-eye" look, where I can see the tops of the
whites of her eyes, and it well, isn’t a good look.  I will, every week, be
not liking her only because she had a major recording contract before.  I
know that is kind of petty, but for some of the other contestants where this is
their first chance, someone who actually has gotten to the precipice, and even
though the record company supposedly was her downfall, she has at least gotten
there before.  And you know what, I didn’t really like her performance this
week, either.

Jason Castro
– Sings – Michelle
– He just seems giddy rather than in love while he is singing.  His smile
is actually almost scary.  Dude, you need to learn how to drop that smile
and make it sincere rather than a plastered-on smile.  The singing was
okay, and although Simon thought he looked good, I thought the goofy look
sucked.

Syesha Mercado
– Sings – Yesterday
– She’s cuter with the tighter hair, with the ponytail.  The straighter
hair was okay, but she just needed to pull it back.
– She sings nice, but the performance was boring except for the high notes. 
The better place would have been at the front of the stage, not on the stool. 
The singing should keep her going on through next week.

Chikezie
– Sings – I’ve Just Seen a Face
– He has just turned into my favorite "American Idol" contestant ever.  He
works every genre, tries to step over party lines, and just seems to try to show
that he can try anything.  He’s a kind of bizarre dude, but sings perfect
for every side.  The only problem is he doesn’t know if he should settle
into being Usher or Cowboy Troy.

 Ramiele Malubay
– Sings – I Should Have Known Better
– She was the last singer of the night, which is usually the one who is supposed
to do the most fabulous version, but I thought her performance was boring, even
though she sang alright.  Just an "Umm" for me.

Let’s wrap this up…

Why does everyone take this season to bust on Simon.  It seems like an easy
joke, but it’s not appropriate for people to pretty much dismiss everything he
might say.  I really hope they get away from The Beatles’ songs, no matter
how much they paid for them, because we have now found out that there are a lot
of people who can’t sing, or arrange, Beatles’ songs.  Please let us get to
wacky mentors again, because as much as they sucked, they were better than a lot
of these people singing songs they couldn’t learn from John Lennon nor Paul
McCartney.

That’s it for this one! 
I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!