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Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who!
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: The voices of: Jim Carrey, Steve Carell, Carol Burnett, Will Arnet, Isla Fisher
MPAA Rated: G
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Web Site: www.hortonmovie.com
Kiddie Movie: Even some of them didn't seem to like it.
Date Movie: Only if she's the mother of your children that you have to bring.
Gratuitous Sex: None.
Gratuitous Violence: The jungle animals try to cage Horton and destroy Who-ville in a vat of oil.
Action: Some chasing through the jungle.
Laughs: I didn't really find myself laughing much, although the Dad next to me seemed to think the movie was a hoot!
Memorable Scene: The social commentary scene about censoring things for the sake of the children.
Memorable Quote: Nah.
Directed By: Jimmy Hayward, Steve Martino
Produced By: Bob Gordon, Bruce Anderson

Dr. Seuss'
Horton Hears
a Who!

A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - G

It's 1:26 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
I’ve got to assume that somewhere in that secret book new parents are given there is the chapter "Taking Your Rude, Seat-Kicking Runts to the Movie." In this chapter it details how your kid will kick the seat of the person in front of you while you constantly say "Don’t kick that man’s seat," knowing full well that your undisciplined child won’t listen to you because you can’t give him a smack on the ass (this is why I'm not a parent). In this chapter is also a section detailing that at the end of a movie, no matter how good or bad, you have to fake that this movie was the greatest ever and say "Wasn’t that movie great?", to which your brainless kid will, with shear and utter joy in their voice, say "Yea. The elephant was funny."  And don't get me started on the chapter titled "Don't Worry if You Laugh at Inane Things For the Sake of Your Kids."

And thus was my experience at "Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who!"

AnyWho (Get it? Any Who?), for this film adaptation of a Dr. Seuss tale, we get an animated version of the story, with the main voices being Jim Carrey as Horton and Steve Carell as Mayor. Horton is just out enjoying life in the jungle of Nool, implanting bad thoughts into the heads of the children, but then he hears some yelling coming from a little speck, dreams of a little community on the speck, and then, when the Mayor of Who-ville talks back to Horton, we have trouble because the mean and nasty Kangaroo (Carol Burnett), who pouch-schools her child, will have no talk of things you can’t see or hear.

Horton now has his troubles because he promised Mayor he would protect their speck, while Mayor is having his own troubles with nearly a hundred daughters, a son who doesn’t seem to respect him, and a town about to destroyed. Through it all we get preached to about social ills, mob action, an evil dictator, and how we have to rope and cage an elephant, as well as destroy the speck, to protect the children.

Okay, first, I will take the blame for going to see "Horton Hears a Who!" at a morning showing when I knew kids would be there, but whatever happened to some disciple. I suppose I might have to talk to Stu Gotz about that one. Kids aside, the underlying question I have is, and it won’t matter because this movie will probably do a billion dollars at the box office (okay, over a hundred million eventually), is why can’t the people in Hollywood make a decent Dr. Seuss movie? I’ll tell you why, because none of the Dr. Seuss stories are written to be made into an hour and a half movie, therefore adding lots of useless filler parts to the story, thus the reason why the original "Grinch" TV special is the greatest. How can Hollywood make a good one? Maybe do a triple feature, with each of them about 30 minutes long.

A lot of the kids seemed rambunctious at the showing I was at, which usually means the movie wasn’t good enough to keep their attention. There seemed to be a lot of story parts going way over their heads, but the flashy colors seemed to bring them back into the grand scheme of things.

Although I seem to be one of the few critics that really didn’t like the movie, the kids didn't seem to hate it so I’ll average it out a bit and leave "Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who!" with 2 stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

 

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