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Meet the Spartans
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra, Ken Davitian, Kevin Sorbo
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: 20th Century Fox
Web Site:
Kiddie Movie: Only if you really hate them.
Date Movie: See "Kiddie Movie."
Gratuitous Sex: Carmen wears some nice outfits.
Gratuitous Violence: Only in a totally fake-looking way.
Action: Nope.
Laughs: Ehh.
Memorable Scene: The "Grand Theft Auto" scene.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
Produced By: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer, Peter Safran

Meet the Spartans
A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - PG-13

It's 1:24 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
There is a saying that is so last year, or maybe it is so last two years ago, but it really is the best way to describe the movie "Meet the Spartans." That saying is simply: "It is what it is." It may not be great, it may not be totally sucky, it just is what it is.

What "Meet the Spartans" is, is a spoof of the movie "300," in the spirit of "Scary Movie," yet pretty much carrying on the laziness that the franchise has developed into, a la "Epic Movie," "Date Movie," and "Scary Movie 4." The easy jokes are played out as much as humanly possible, namely the fake looking abs and gay looking outfits the Spartans have and wear, with Sean Maquire playing the lead as Leonidas. In this Sparta the men great each other with tongue kisses, while the men great the women with a high five, which, of course, is even more ludicrous since Queen Margo is played by Carmen Elektra. Anyway, instead of 300 Spartans to fight Xerxes (played by Ken Davitian from Borat fame), only 13 come along, and we get treated to bad jokes about "American Idol," "Stomp the Yard," Britney and K-Fed, "Shrek," "Americaís Next Top Model," "Ghost Rider," and what the hell, let's bash Paris Hilton some more. The problem is that the jokes arenít that creative and the "Look-A-Likes" pretty much donít look anything like who they are supposed to be making fun of.

I do have to admit that as King of The Land of the Easily Amused I did find myself chuckle here and there, and found the spoofing of "Grand Theft Auto" pretty funny, but canít we get more creative than blurring out the crotches of Britney, Lindsay, and Paris?

The movie clocks in, technically, at about 84 minutes long, which for those of you who canít do the calculation means about an hour and 24 minutes. In reality, though, skipping the credits, I think the movie was more like an hour and 15 minutes. Not really a bargain for your buck, but probably better since you wonít be subjected to another 10 minutes of brain-numbing fun like the Spartan Sonio (Travis Van Winkle) getting decapitated by a diaper-wearing, fake Rocky (Dean Cochran), and really, do we ever need to hear from the "Leave Britney Alone" dude again?

For being, sadly, what this franchise has become, and being "is what it is," Iíll give "Meet the Spartans" 1 Ĺ star out of 5 with the only reason achieving that level being Ĺ star because Carmen Elektra looked hot, Ĺ star for the "Grand Theft Auto" scene, and Ĺ star for Xerxes turning into Xerxesatron.

Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!


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