Movie Stats & Links
||Kal Penn, Adam Campbell, Jennifer
Coolidge, Jayma Mays, Faune A. Chambers, Crispin Glover,
Darrell Hammond, Carmen Electra, Fred Willard
20th Century Fox
||Lots of "shits"
and killing the "White Bitch."
||Only if she's 16
and easily amused.
||Carmen Electra was
hot as Mystique.
fighting. They are trying to kill the "White Bitch."
As I was sitting, waiting for "Epic Movie" to start, I
saw what Iím assuming was a mom with four girls that looked
to be about the age of ten. By the end of the film I
wondered if she second-guessed her choice of bringing those
girls to a movie where the main goal of the movie was to
kill the "White Bitch." And yes, that was the name of the
character, not her nickname.
A Movie Review
Alright, I wonít give too much of a synopsis for "Epic
Movie" because pretty much it follows along the "Scary
Movie" franchise of spoofing other films, but sadly, it
doesnít do it very well. The main course of this movie is
"The Chronicles of Narnia," where for "Epic Movie" we get
the quartet of Kal Penn (poking fun at himself in his Kumar
days) as Edward, Adam Campbell as Peter, Jayma Mays as Lucy,
and Faune A. Chambers as Susan, set in the land of Gnarnia
(the "G" is silent), where they have to kill the White Bitch
(Jennifer Coolidge), a.k.a. Stiflerís Mom, which Edward
quickly points out when he first sees her. Our quartet of
kids (even though they are in their late 20ís or 30) start
as orphans who each find a golden ticket, ala "Willy Wonka,"
where a demented Willy (Crispin Glover) torments the kids.
Of course the kids find the wardrobe, make their way to
Gnarnia, and find out their true destiny.
Oh hell, thatís enough of the synopsis because sadly the
movie isnít creative, at all, in spoofing the movies it
tries to. Case in point: For whatever reason, Susan is on a
plane that gets infested by snakes, and the fake Samuel L.
Jackson keeps spouting the "get the snakes off the plane"
line, throws Susan off the plane, where Susan proceeds to
break her fall by landing on the fake "Paris Hilton." Rather
than trying to truly intertwine the movies it was spoofing
into some sort of cohesive story, "Epic Movie" just seems to
take a scene, and haphazardly make fun of it. And maybe the
movie folks were trying to be funny by not even trying to
cover-up the fact that Fred Willard, as Aslo, wasnít really
doing the fighting, but I guess I missed the joke.
There were a couple of funny things in the movie, but
none to really warrant any kind of recommendation to see it
other than maybe running across it on cable. And parents,
there is something you have to remember about a PG-13 movie:
You may only be able to say the "F" word one time, but
killing the "White Bitch" and saying "shit" can happen
pretty much all the filmmakers want. And, oh yea, sexual
innuendo (in this case pretty bad sexual innuendo), can be
pretty rampant, too. Itís 1 star out of 5 for "Epic Movie."
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!!