Movie Stats & Links
||Naomi Watts, Jack
Black, Adrien Brody, Andy Serkis
||Not too young, it
gets pretty violent and creepy at times.
||It's good for both
the dudes and dudettes.
||Some smooching is
||Lots of people
die, but only a few gratuitously.
||Lots of chasing
and it's really cool.
||Some dorky moments
give some levity.
||For some reason,
and although most critics bring out the touching moment as
Ann and Kong watched the sunset on the mountain, I thought
the scene of Kong and Ann on ice in Central Park was more
touching, in a creepy, dudette loves a giant ape but can
never get it really on with him, sort of way.
||I still hate the
line where Carl (Jack Black) explains that beauty killed the
beast. Even if it was in the original, it was too
clichť, and when he said it, he sounded like his character
back in "School of Rock."
Carolynne Cunningham, Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh
I read a headline a while back that the new "King Kong"
movie made grown men cry. I have to proudly admit that I
didnít cry, although there were a couple of times I almost
got the urge to get a little weepy, but then something that
just didnít seem to fit would happen and the feeling went
away. That, I would say, was one of the very few flaws I had
with this remake of an original movie that I have absolutely
no recollection of seeing (although I did set my TIVO to
record it a few days from now), and I now have a new actress
that I am totally infatuated with, her being Naomi Watts.
Anyway, letís get to the story.
A Movie Review
"King Kong" starts with the story of a filmmaker, Carl
Denham (Jack Black). Itís the 1930ís and heís having a
little trouble getting the funding to finish his latest
flick, especially when he wants to set sail to this
uncharted island that is supposed to be spooky and scary and
perfect for his film. The funding folks arenít buying it, so
Carl decides to steal some equipment, round up his crew, and
set sail. Thereís one other hitch, namely that his lead
actress quit the day before, much to his surprise when his
assistant, Preston (Colin Hanks) tells him so. By chance he finds Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts), and convinces her to come along with
him on his adventure.
After setting sail just soon enough not to get arrested,
our cast is now cruising to, supposedly Singapore, until
Carl convinces the Captain to set sail to a mythical place,
and the Captain does. All of a sudden there it is, Skull
Island, a place where some members of the boat crew had
heard stories about, and then all of a sudden, Carl has his
film folks taking a lifeboat to the island when the big boat
gets stuck on a spooky rock. Sure enough, the island is creepy, thereís
this giant wall for some reason, and the natives donít like
chocolate bars it seems. With the film crew being attacked
by the natives, itís up to the boat crew to save their
collective asses, but then, as the big boat is finally free
to boat away, Jack (Adrien Brody), the
screenwriter/playwright, discovers Ann has been kidnapped,
so itís back to the island we go.
Next, of course, we finally get to see Kong, as Ann is
sacrificed by the locals and Kong is off with his new
prize. But Ann is different than the other girls Kong has
had in his life, mostly, it seems, because she fights back a
little, and is quite entertaining to the big ape in
a later scene. Meanwhile, Carl and the boys are making their
way through the jungle, finding dinosaurs and giant bugs,
and somehow, most of them, surviving all of the running and
mayhem. Also, meanwhile, Ann begins to realize that Kong
actually cares for her when he saves her from a group of
T-Rexís that, for some bizarre reason, are more interesting
in a bite-size snack dressed in white, rather than just
taking the porterhouse steak in Kong.
So, yea, you guessed it, or know it happens anyway
because the story isnít new, but with his film footage gone,
and visions of dollar signs dancing in their heads, Carl and
the boys capture Kong, bring him back to New York City, put
him on a stage, and piss him off. Yup, Kong is out to find
his Ann in the big city, which doesnít bode well for any
blonde-haired girl in his path as he scoops them up, looks
at their faces, realizes they arenít Ann, and tosses them
aside like rag-dolls (itís pretty funny if you let it be).
Then, of course, Kong finds Ann, or sort of more Ann finds
Kong, theyíre off to frolic in Central Park and enjoy the
city, but wouldnít you know it, the Army arrives and yes,
itís now time for Kong to make a calculated mistake and head
to the top of the Empire State Building, not knowing that us
humans now have these things called airplanes, equipped with
Alright, story synopsis done. Why did I love this movie?
Let me count the ways. 1) The film was over three hours
long but didnít seem like it, and paced nicely from their
start in the city to their extended ocean voyage, when
character development really takes shape, to the land of the
lost world of Skull Island and Kong being King, and back to
the big city where all Kong really wants to do is spend some
quality time with his woman. B) The special effects were
insanely amazing. New York in the 1930ís looked fantastic,
exactly how I would figure it would look, in color, back
then. Skull Island was a fun place to visit, though I
wouldnít want to live there. And Kong was freakiní
unbelievable. I mean unbelievable. Remember how you were
amazed at Gollum from the "Lord of the Rings" thing?
Multiply him by 100 to get Kong (the same dude, Andy Serkis,
played both Gollum and Kong). Kong is big and mean, but also
likes sunsets. He doesnít like getting yelled at by pretty
girls he has a crush on, causing him to pout like a little
boy, but will still break the jaw of a T-Rex if said T-Rex
tries to eat his woman. III) I wasnít as annoyed at Jack
Black as I thought I might be. 4) Odd as it might sound, but
it is crucial to the movie, there was really a chemistry
between Ann and Kong (not so much so between Ann and Jack,
but that didnít bug me at all). Mucho props to Naomi Watts
and the computer animation folks for using a lot of "you can
see the feelings being portrayed by just looking at their
eyes" for both Ann and Kong. V) Some squashes, being sucked
into an ugly bug, and quality kills, like when Kong rips the
head off a dude. F) Naomi Watts. 7) Oh hell, Naomi Watts
The more I think about this movie, the more I loved it,
although there were times I just couldnít help comparing
some scenes in it to those in
"Titanic." The fact that they
were on a tramp steamer, which, if memory serves me right,
and I know if my memory indeed does serve me right this is a
memory I should have forgotten, but Jack from "Titanic" had
been on a tramp steamer a few times in his travels. Then
there was the touching sunset scene with Kong and Ann. Then
there were the dolphins in front of the boat as it was
cruising along. Then there were the engine pistons going up
and down and the dude shoveling coal into the boiler. Then
there was the boat wreck. And finally, as Kong and Ann were
at the top of The Empire State Building, with Kong ready to
fall (this was the moment I almost got weepy, then this
thought kicked in), I couldnít help but hope and pray, for
just some total comic relief, that Ann would tell Kong,
after grabbing Kongís giant hand, "Iíll never let go," then
Kong would die, and just like Rose did to Jack, Ann would
let go. Iím sick sometimes.
So wrapping up this long review to go with a long movie,
itís 5 stars out of 5 for "King Kong." Even with the kinda
dorky moments, and my thoughts of "Titanic," just the
marvel, Kong, and Naomi Watts transcend all of that and make
it a 5 starrer from me.
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!!