Category: Movies

For this movie review of “The Guardian,” The Dude on the Right actually thought Asthon Kutcher and Kevin Costner did fine in their roles, but doesn’t think this movie will be the recruiting tool for the Coast Guard the way “Top Gun” was for the Navy.

By:

The Dude on the Right
In my years of doing movie reviews I stumbled across a weird thing today: 
How do you review a movie that really isn’t a movie?  For this case it was
my review of "Jackass Number Two," and I didn’t know where to go with it,
especially since I found the movie very funny in a kind of way that can’t be
reviewed.  And maybe that is why some of the other movie critics can’t like
this movie for what it is, because this is a movie that can’t really be reviewed
in the movie review kind of way.  There is no plot development, they’re not
seeing this movie for cinematography, and there aren’t any special effects for
them to go "goo-goo, gaa-gaa" over.  Maybe they just can’t see the humor in
a guy trying to hitch a ride on a big red rocket (in this case Johnny
Knoxville), nor why anyone would want to see what horse semen tastes like. 
Yet they try to review "Jackass Number Two" like it’s "Titanic."

But really,
"Jackass," as I see it, in its core, is a movie about a bunch of dude-friends
bonding, each time, because we all do stupid stuff at times, and what worse time
than to have all of our friends around us laughing at us when it happens. 
Or in a funnier case, when all of your friends are in on a joke, tormenting one
of your friends.  Sure the likes of Johnny Knoxville, Bam, Wee Man,
Steve-O, and the rest of the Jackass boys take it to another level, but as boys,
at least those of us who got outside sometimes instead of stuck behind a
Playstation, didn’t you want to see if you could actually jump off a roof using
an umbrella to coast you down? (It doesn’t work).  When isn’t someone
getting hit in the balls not funny? (Except when it is you and your balls). 
And didn’t you ever try to jump your bike over anything? (And you crashed on
your ass to the delight of your friends).

In any case I did my review of
"Jackass Number Two," but as I look back on if after writing this blog, and
fellow critics, take this to heart, you can’t really review the movie. 
There should be only be two reviews for the "Jackass Number Two.": "It’s funny
as hell," or "I was so disgusted I wanted to walk out and vomit."  Any
reviewer who give this movie a middle-of-the road review, like 2 stars out of 4,
is copping out by A: Not wanting to admit that the movie made them laugh their
ass off, thus reducing their reviewing street-cred.  Or B: Were so
disgusted you can’t understand why guys think this shit is funny, yet understand
that some people find this funny so I have to at least give it 2 stars. 
Me, I understand the appeal of the movie, and that’s why
I gave it 5 stars out
of 5.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

For this movie review of “Jet Li’s Fearless,” The Dude on the Right wasn’t bummed about having to read the subtitles, he was more bummed by the movie taking too long to tell it’s story. And even the though the fight scenes were okay, they were predictable.

For this movie review of “Gridiron Gang,” The Dude on the Right almost had a private screening. He likes the story, likes the movie, but thinks it drags on about 15 to 20 minutes too long. He thinks The Rock was great, but wishes the football game scenes were, well, you’ll have to read the review to find out.

The Dude on the Right saw “The Last Kiss,” and liked it, but thought the trailer was misleading. He thinks this movie actually takes a real-world look at relationships, as apposed to the general romantic comedy the trailer seemed to portray.

By:

The Dude on the Right
I really wanted to be a little more productive this weekend, but today I woke up
feeling a little out of sorts.  I’m blaming it on bad spinach.  In any
case I still hauled my ass to my local gigaplex to catch the 10:15AM showing of
"Gridiron
Gang" so that I could get back to the dude-pad without missing much of the
Chicago Bears kicking the crap out of the Detroit Lions, even though Roy
Williams of the Lions said

his team would prevail.  You would think the Bears’ winning would have
helped me feel a little better, but then I watched the
Chicago White Sox get
swept by the Oakland A’s, and it took all I had to get my clothes in the laundry
and get my ass trying to get some stuff done.

The things I didn’t get done
were my reviews of "The
Last Kiss" (a much darker movie than the trailers tended to show, though
still good) and "Gridiron Gang" (a decent movie about overcoming adversity,
though I still wanted The Rock to yell ‘Can you smell what The Mustangs are
cookin’!), some cleaning of the dude-pad (thank god for my dishwasher so I’ve at
least got some clean dishes for the coming week), and getting my TiVo’s
programmed with their Season Passes for the upcoming week.  At least I washed
my clothes so I’ve got clean and

only a couple of week’s old underwear, paid a couple of bills, and did this
blog.

I think Stu and I are geared to do our weekend wrap-up tomorrow, and
I’ll do my best to get some movie reviewing done.  Damn spinach.

That’s it for this one!  I’m The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!

Over the weekend The Dude on the Right had a six person screening of “Idiocracy,” and a private screening of “The Protector.” Being a fan of the movie “Office Space,” it is easy to see that The Dude liked “Idiocracy,” and even though “The Protector” is no “Dumbo Drop,” Tony Jaa really knows how to break a lot of arms and legs.

For the latest episode of “Stu & The Dude Reviewin’ the Movies for You!,” the boys give their take of “Snakes on a Plane.” Too bad for Stu Gotz he brought a big turd, umm, snake, to the review taping, and put the pheromones in the wrong pocket. Happy watching.

The Dude on the Right is enjoying his Labor Day Weekend by seeming some flicks, and his reviews of “Crank” and “Invincible” are now posted. The Dude says that both movies give exactly what you can expect from the trailers.

For this movie review of “Beerfest,” The Dude on the Right found it better than “Club Dread” but not as good as “Super Troopers.” Pretty much he says the movie gives you exactly what you can expect from the trailer.