Jackass Number Two
Movie Stats & Links
Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn, Steve-O, Jason "Wee Man" AcuŮa,
Chris Pontius, Preston Lacy, Dave England, Ehren McGhehey
||If you bring your
kids to this movie you are a jackass.
||Only you would
know if she would have fun at this movie.
||Some, sort of, but
nothing you really want to see.
||Lots of people
getting beat up, but it's their own fault.
||An hour and a half
of them if this is your cup of semen.
||Only about every
||Too many to quote.
Spike Jonze, Johnny Knoxville
Okay, let me get this off of my conscience. I never saw
the original "Jackass" movie, nor caught the MTV series.
Itís not that I didnít want to, I just never found the time.
This is one of those revelations to my friends that seems
totally bizarre, like when I told Stu Gotz I never saw
"Napoleon Dynamite" and told Dewey Cheatum, my accountant,
that I had never seen "Braveheart." And now that Iíve seen
"Jackass Number Two," I have to admit that I have absolutely
no idea how to write a review for the movie.
Jackass Number Two
A Movie Review
I mean itís "Jackass," like the first one I can assume,
only more of it. I canít use any standard movie reviewing
bullshit like "Johnny Knoxville shows his acting chops, but
could use a little more polish in selling a scene," or "It
just doesnít seem appropriate to humiliate the
height-challenged Wee Man," or "The special effects in this
movie were groundbreaking." There sure isnít any plot
development to talk about, except for maybe the last
vignette where a prank is pulled by one of the Jackass guys
dressing up as a terrorist and hoping in a cab to the
airport, and am I really supposed to mention the
"outstanding choreography" for the closing number?
More appropriately I could use something like "Itís not
something I ever wondered how it was done, but it was
scientifically enlightening to see how they collect semen
from a horse," or maybe "I wonder how my mother would react
if I turned her staircase (if she had one) into a ski
slope?", or maybe "The physical training Steve-O went
through to film the scene with him in the ocean with sharks
really paid off."
For your Godís sake Iím not going to waste any more of my
time or your time with a review, but just let you know that
I laughed my ass off, nearly vomited, and had to cross my
legs with the effect of phantom pain many times, especially
seeing a real snake trying to take on a trouser snake, err,
I mean "mouse."
You already know if "Jackass Number Two" would be your
cup of horse semen, and if so, I highly recommend it. For
all of the critics bashing the film, how can you not
appreciate what should be an Oscar nominated performance by
Bam Margera when he was trapped with a King Cobra? Unlike
Johnny Knoxvilleís "just making a paycheck" performance in
the movie, itís takes real acting ability to cry like Bam
did on camera, and on cue.
Itís 5 stars out of 5 for "Jackass Number Two" even if
there was not an ounce of nudity I actually wanted to see.
In the immortal words of the way-overused saying, "It is
what it is."
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!!