Author: Andy Labis

By:

The Dude on the Right
And so the United States House of Representatives decided to delay the switch to digital TV, just like the Senate did, and now President Obama will most likely sign the bill into law, just like in the Schoolhouse Rock cartoons.   What does that mean for you and me? –   Four more months of inane commercials asking if we are ready for the switch to digital TV.

Here’s what I don’t get…  So they set up this date for the transition, it was supposed to be February 17th, and the government web site still says that’s the day (because it’s a bill, it’s only a bill, and it’s sitting there on Capitol Hill as of my typing this), we got bombarded by tons of commercials asking if we were ready for the switch (my favorite is the one with Vanna White, Pat Sajak, and Alex Trebek, because, well, in my mind, that one probably applies to most of the 20 million people who haven’t made the switch yet), and now, because millions of morons watching analog TV didn’t pay attention to the commercials, because millions of morons let their $40 coupons expire, and the government ran out of coupons, because, and I’m just assuming, millions of morons let their $40 coupons expire, we will get 4 more months of some of the dumbest “public service announcements” about the digital TV transition bombarding our airwaves, thus taking up quality commercial time where we could be seeing Danica Patrick and other scantily clad dudettes in low-cut tops on TV.

My proposal is this:  On February 17th, switch all programming to digital TV for most of us, so that most of us can be spared any more stupid commercials telling us how stupid those that didn’t figure out this switch are, yet.  The bill should state that rather than instantly abandoning those who didn’t switch, or get their coupon, or listen to Vanna, Pat, and Alex, well, still beam an analog signal for two months, without the TV show people were expecting, instead broadcast a simple, text message that scrolls the screen saying, “You are stupid.  We’ve been telling you for months to upgrade your TV, or get the damn digital box to be able to receive your TV program.  Since you are reading this message you might now realize you can’t see someone win a million dollars on “Wheel of Fortune” because you didn’t get that little box, and/or ask your grandson/neighbor to hook it up because you don’t want to change your little world.  Since you are reading this message it is also probably obvious that you don’t have Internet access, so asking you to visit www.dtv.gov will be stupid, but instead, in XXX days, if you don’t do the upgrade we’ve been telling you about for months, well, this screen will be blank and you won’t be able to yell at your TV “What is ‘The St. Louis Arch?’”  Have a nice day!”

I don’t think I can take four more months of people asking me if I’m ready for the switch to digital TV, and I wonder, can you?  You better be, because I’m guessing President Obama will sign this bill.

There will be people screwed over by this transition, I understand that, but in the words of Larry the Cable Guy, git r done! You know what, maybe he should be the spokesperson for this digital TV transition!

That’s it for this one! 
I’m The Dude on the Right!!   L8R!!!