Blades of Glory

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:33 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Blades of Glory
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Amy Poehler, Craig T. Nelson, Jenna Fischer
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Dreamworks Pictures
Release Date: 2007
Kiddie Movie: There’s a lot of adult content.
Date Movie: If she likes Will Ferrell comedies.
Gratuitous Sex: Some boob grabbing and cleavage.
Gratuitous Violence: Some fighting and cross-bow shooting.
Action: Some chasing, but not really action.
Laughs: From start to finish.
Memorable Scene: Too many were memorable.
Memorable Quote: Too many to quote.
Directed By: Will Speck, Josh Gordon

Our next episode of “Stu & The Dude Reviewin’ the Movies for You” will be handling “Blades of Glory,” but until the animation and stuff is done, I thought I would give you a quick review of the said “Blades of Glory” movie because I can’t tell you fast enough that if you want to laugh, go and see this movie.

The story is as simple as the trailers you have probably seen… Will Ferrell is Chazz Michael Michaels. He’s the bad-boy figure skater. Jon Heder is Jimmy MacElroy, the, umm, prissy-boy figure skater. They are arch rivals, and when they tie at a championship match, and then they fight, and then they set a mascot on fire, they are banned from competition. Three-ish years later they are relegated to minor jobs, but an obsessed fan of Jimmy’s figures out a loophole to get Jimmy back into competition, by entering the pair’s competition, and informs Jimmy of the hole. Jimmy lets his Coach (Craig T. Nelson) know of this loophole, who at first wants nothing of it, but eventually realizes that Chazz will be the perfect partner for Jimmy, so the controversy of two dudes entering the pairs figure skating competition begins, much to the dismay of the pair’s champions brother and sister team, Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg (Will Arnett and Amy Poehler). And through it all a butt-load of hilarity ensues.

As much as “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby” poked fun at NASCAR, “Blades of Glory” takes poking fun at figure skating to a much higher, and much funnier level, maybe because there are so many more things to make fun of, and for most of this movie, all of the making fun of worked. Will Ferrell was back in over-the-top mode, and fantastic. Jon Heder embraces the goofiness of him. And the addition of tons of cameos, from Nancy Kerrigan and Brian Boitano (and what would Brian Boitano do?) as judges stripping Chazz and Jimmy of their medals, to Scott Hamilton and Jim Lampley as the sports anchors during the competition segments (totally reminding me of Bob Costas and Al Michaels in the much maligned but one of my favorites “BASEketball”) were fantastic. And all of the actual ice skating segments, from the training to the competitions, were hilarious.

In keeping this sort of short, if you have never watched, nor had any desire to watch a figure skating competition, and think seeing a movie about it might be wrong, “Blades of Glory” was funny as hell, so much so there were many segments where I almost fell out of my seat or spewed water up my nose, and you will probably be jealous of Chazz (who is also a sex addict) getting to squeeze the boobs of Katie Van Waldenberg (Jenna Fischer, who might just be the new love of my life).

Stu Gotz will have his say when we get our next animated review posted, but for now I couldn’t wait to tell you that if you like to laugh “Blades of Glory” should make you laugh, especially if you had any kind of chuckle during the trailer. From me it’s 4 ½ stars out of 5.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Benchwarmers

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:20 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

The Benchwarmers
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Rob Schneider, David Spade, Jon Heder
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Columbia Pictures
Kiddie Movie: Sadly the Adam Sandler folks keep the humor in full toilet mode, so I have to say no.
Date Movie: Only if she liked “Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo.”
Gratuitous Sex: Some talk and hints.
Gratuitous Violence: Wedgies and tittie-twisters.
Action: Not really.
Laughs: For the easily amused.
Memorable Scene: Every time Clark (Heder) is up to bat.
Memorable Quote: Nothing really.
Directed By: Dennis Dugan

Critics everywhere are bashing “The Benchwarmers,” but not this critic. Nope, in the land of the easily amused, where farts and getting hit in the nuts are always funny, and trust me, that is my land, “The Benchwarmers” is a movie tailor-made for this critic. There was, though, some disappointment in the film, but mostly because I can’t recommend it for younger kids who this movie could really appeal to. Anyway, let’s get to the story.

In “The Benchwarmers” we get three buddies, Gus, Richie, and Clark, played respectively by Rob Schneider, David Spade, and Jon Heder. One day they come to the aid of a nerdy kid getting farted on, and then later in the day, when our trio is having some fun on the baseball diamond, they challenge the bully little league team for rights to the field. Yea, that’s right, it’s three dudes versus a full team of kids. As it goes, Richie and Clark have no baseball skills so pretty much it’s Gus striking out every kid on the other team, and hitting home runs every time he is up to bat.

It turns out that Mel (Jon Lovitz) hears of our trio’s conquest and dreams up a tournament where Gus, Richie, and Clark get to take on all of the bully little league teams in competition for a way-cool stadium to be paid by Mel. Suddenly the nerdy Gus, Richie, and Clark are on their way, kicking bully kid butt and taking names, all to the delight of the nerd nation. Controversy arrives later in the film, but, of course, everyone learns a lesson that yes, nerds and bullies can get along.

There are four names associated with this movie that will tell you exactly what you can expect: Rob Schneider, David Spade, Jon Heder, and Adam Sandler (he’s not really in the movie, but is one of the Producers). What does that mean? Of course you know what it means – fart jokes, toilet humor, and overall dumb jokes that will make me laugh if that’s your cup of tea. And I did. Spade is great as the nerd working at the video store who, when he sees the girl of his dreams at the Pizza Hut, all he can say is “I like salad.” Schneider does a nice job as the savior of the team but still harboring a secret, and Heder is back to giving us the funny like he did in “Napoleon Dynamite.” Jon Lovitz is, well, doing his best Jon Lovitz.

There are no surprises here at the level of humor you are going to get, but I will say that there is something that did bum me out about the movie, and that is wondering why the Sandler folks always have to go so over the top that they can’t get the movie to a PG rating. Why do I say that? Because this really could have been a great movie for the 8 to 13 year old kid crowd, but the inclusion of the occasional “shit” here and there, and I’m sure the ratings board didn’t look too kindly on the drunken “little leaguer,” nor the excessive vomiting, thus kicking it into PG-13 range. What kept the movie rolling, especially towards the end of the film when the slapstick humor was getting old, were the little kids getting behind The Benchwarmer team, complete with internet broadcasts of the game with youngin’s calling the play-by-play. I guess my only recommendation to the Adam Sandler folks is sometime your audience doesn’t always have to be the teen crowd, sometimes you can triple your box-office take when you get mom and dad taking the kids to the movie, rather than just the fart-loving teen going with his other fart-loving teen friends.

If you’ve read my reviews before, you know I’m easily amused, and this movie easily amused me. With that, 3 ½ stars out of 5. The sad thing is that I think this could have easily been a 4 ½ star family film by being a little more creative with the humor rather than a having Gus join his wife in the shower so he could pee.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!