Employee of the Month

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:43 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Employee of the Month
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson, Dax Shepard, Andy Dick
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Lions Gate Films
Release Date: 2006
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want your son staring at Jessica’s boobs.
Date Movie: She’s got to be easily amused.
Gratuitous Sex: Low cut shirts and Vince being crude is about it.
Gratuitous Violence: Slaptstick.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: There’s a funny couple of lines.
Memorable Scene: Every scene being able to stare at Amy’s rack.
Memorable Quote: A great bit of advice before a date: “Don’t forget to wash your balls.”
Directed By: Greg Coolidge

Heading to my local gigaplex to catch a flick to review this weekend, I pretty much gave myself two choices, the Martin Scorcese epic “The Departed,” or the Greg Coolidge, umm, film, “Employee of the Month.” With it being a gorgeous day outside, I opted to save an hour stuck inside a movie theater and caught “Employee of the Month.” Maybe I should have just opted to save another extra hour and a half inside a movie theater.

Anyway, “Employee of the Month” gives us Dane Cook as Zack. He’s pretty much a slacker who lives with his Granny and works with group of slackers at the local bulk food mart, SuperClub, ala Costco. His nemesis is Vince (Dax Shepard), the head cashier and management suck-up who has been the employee of the month for the past 17 months. If he can be employee of the month for one more month, well, he wins a car and the love of the corporate boss.

Enter a new cashier, Amy (Jessica Simpson).

Amy transfers from another SuperClub, and Zack and her hit it off right from the start, mostly because they can finish each others sentences. Zack finds out from her employee file that at the previous store she seemed to have a thing for the employee of the month, and not wanting Vince to get the girl, Zack decides he will make a valiant attempt at employee of the month. And so the fight between Vince and Zack is on.

Yup, you can guess that Zack gets so wrapped up in beating Vince and becoming the model employee that he deserts his friends, eventually Amy will find out that at the start Zack just wanted to be the great employee to get in her pants, and in the end, Zack will learn his lesson and get the girl.

It’s a simple story, and the jokes are pretty much what you would expect, and no one here will be getting any accolades for their acting. Jessica Simpson looks like she got the role because all she has to do is smile and wear low-cut shirts (I’m guessing that her Dad, one of the Producers on the film, has no problem with that because we know how he admires her boobs), and Dane Cook didn’t seem to add to his comedic actor resume for this flick. I will say, though, that Dax Shepard does a great job as the smarmy Vince, which really helped redeem this film.

In the end I did laugh a couple of times during the film, so it wasn’t horrible, but really I would have to say this is a definite “wait for the rental” or “wait for cable” type of movie. It’s 2 stars out of 5 for “Employee of the Month.”

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

The Dudes of Hazzard

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:46 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

The Dukes of Hazzard
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville, Jessica Simpson, Willie Nelson, Burt Reynolds
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Warner Bros.
Release Date: 2005
Kiddie Movie: There’s some insinuated smoking of the wacky weed and naughty outfits. Leave them at home.
Date Movie: Only if you want her to leave you.
Gratuitous Sex: Just lots of skimpy outfits.
Gratuitous Violence: Some punching and shooting going on, but no one gets killed.
Action: Lots of car chasing, but then what did you expect?
Laughs: Mostly chuckles or groans.
Memorable Scene: Nothing really stands out although the outtakes were kinda funny.
Memorable Quote: During the outtakes: “Every time I look at her titties…”
Directed By: Jay Chandrasekhar

Dammit, I hate being so easily amused. I’m not saying that because of that I’m going to recommend “The Dukes of Hazzard,” ah hell no, even though I did get a good chuckle, but before you hand over your hard earned cash for a ticket for this flick, you’d better be doing so expecting some pretty bad dialogue that might make you laugh or groan, you won’t see nearly as much of Jessica Simpson as you figured you might have, and expect an hour and a half movie that could have been turned into your standard one hour episode.

The basic story goes like this…

Bo and Luke Duke return to the screen, this time played by Stiffler and Jackass. Okay, I’m sorry, that joke is too easy. Seann William Scott plays Bo and Johnny Knoxville plays Luke. They’re running moonshine for Uncle Jessie (Willie Nelson), usually one step ahead of the Sheriff, and always messing with the plans of Boss Hogg, this time played by Burt Reynolds. As this story goes, the Duke boys can’t figure out why one of the town’s most famous sons has returned to race again in their little road race, nor why Boss Hogg is going around planting problems on farms so that the county can confiscate them, including Uncle Jessie’s farm. So it’s up to our heroes, along with Daisy (Jessica Simpson), to figure out what is going on, and of course, to save the day with only seconds to spare. In doing so they wreak havoc with a safe, make their way to Atlanta to get some soil samples studied, hook-up with some college girls, and piss of the neighborhood gang members with their car sporting the Confederate Flag and soot covered faces (yes, that is the kind of humor you can expect).

This movie isn’t rocket science, isn’t meant to win any awards, and pretty much has as cheesy a story as one of the television episodes that I barely remember. The dialogue is pretty inane, the car chases don’t really break any new ground, but for some reason I actually liked Scott’s and Knoxville’s portrayal of the loveable Bo and Luke Duke. Sure, they turn this movie a little more risqué, complete with college girls in skimpy outfits, some bong usage with said college girls, and some smoking of something with the Governor, but hell, it’s not 1980 anymore.

I will agree with most critics and say this movie is pretty useless, but I did laugh a little. In the end I’ll give it 1 ½ stars out of 5. The teens around me seemed to find it funnier, and I am easily amused, so take what I say with a grain of salt. You will get exactly the dorky movie you probably expect if you go and see “The Dukes of Hazzard,” so just sit back and enjoy that.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!