Entertainment Ave!

Gina’s Going Home on American Idol Might Have Been My Fault

By:

The Dude on the Right
Normally I would do a podcast on Thursday, complete with my analysis of who got
voted off "American Idol," but I’m frantically working on the animation for our
next episode of "Stu & The Dude Reviewin’ the Movies for You!" so I didn’t have
time to put together the audio clips I wanted to for the podcast. I know,
my dedication is lacking at times, but I did want to give some quick thoughts
about Gina getting the boot on "Idol."

For starters, I’m blaming myself for
Gina getting the boot. If you have been reading any of my blogs or
listening to my podcasts you know that I am firmly vested in the "Vote for
Sanjaya" movement, and on Tuesday I got so psyched in my voting for Sanjaya
Malakar and thinking Gina was probably safe that I didn’t vote for Gina.
So Gina, I apologize, and if, among those 30 million votes they said were
supposedly cast last Tuesday night, and you got voted off because of about five
votes, it is my fault. The underlying problem with "American Idol" and
their voting is they never actually tell us the vote tally, nor never reassure
us that the accounting firm of, at least, "Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe" has
certified the votes.

Now even though I was sad to see Gina Glocksen go home,
at least she made it to the top ten so she can be on the tour, and I doubt she
would have made it to the finals, but what do I know. But the bummer part
of her getting voted off is that she didn’t make to Bon Jovi week, because as
the resident rocker chick, I’m guessing that would have been the week for her
truly shine. Nope, she got sidelined by a week of "standards," where I
would have advised her two things. One would have been to lose the tongue
piercing for the week. As a dude, as she was singing, I didn’t hear her
singing because all I kept seeing was her tongue piercing and thinking, well,
umm, thinking, umm, things. My guess is the "conservative" voting block
thought it was gross, unlike me where I was thinking, umm, things. My
other advice for her would have been to stick with her rocker chick attitude.
Sure, start "Smile" off as a standard, but then in the middle kick things into a
gear where you could actually perform the song rather than be stuck behind the
microphone.

Me, I’m not hired as an advisor for any of these folks on American
Idol, but here are a couple of other things I would advise for our remaining
contestants:

Haley: Re-watch season one of Idol and follow the Kelly
Clarkson path. You have an edge on her in that you totally have the looks,
legs, and assets right now, without losing any weight. Pay a little bit
more attention to your singing and performing, but keep the outfits kind of
skimpy.

Jordin: Watch your outfits so that they don’t make you look
fat. You already have the voice.

LeKisha: You have the voice but
you perform like a linebacker. Perform like Aretha.

Melinda: It
looks like you have been losing weight, and if so, keep it up. If not,
keep picking the outfits like you did this week. Also, watch your smile
and keep it tight. Never let your upper lip go above your teeth showing
your gums.

All of the Dudes: Phil, always wear something to cover your
bald head. Chris & Blake, you two aren’t dudettes, so I’d rather see you
both gone. Sanjaya, keep being the Sanjaya you have found, and pray people
like me don’t lose interest in the "Vote for Sanjaya" movement.

It’s back to
animating for me, and seeing if I can maintain my loyalty to the Sanjaya
movement, when I probably, as a dude, should be shifting it to the "Haley’s
Comet" fan club.

Vote for Sanjaya, and Haley.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Sanjaya is Still the Best, but Melinda has Turned up the Heat.

By:

The Dude on the Right
Though not nearly as cute as Gwen last week, Tony Bennett was the helper coach
for this week’s "American Idol." Maybe it’s because the show is trimmed
down to an hour, but the clips didn’t show Tony helping the kids that much, just
giving his opinion (always nice) about the contestants. But as I’m a
half-hour in for this re-cap, and trying to hit the redial as much as
possible between sentences, my votes for Sanjaya seem to be blocked by busy
circuits. And other than Gina’s performance, I couldn’t be more happy.

In
any case, here are my reviews of tonight’s "American Idol" performances.

Blake: Sings "Mack the Knife." I actually think he did a fantastic job this
week, up until the ending, and I usually don’t like him. He kept it mostly how
the song should be sung.

Phil: Sings "Night and Day." That bald head just does not work (he
should have worn a nice top hat or derby). His singing was okay, but I don’t
think this was a good week for him. I found him boring. Paula said he reminded
her of a young Frank Sinatra, and Simon said it best simply blurting out "What?"

Melinda: Sings "I’ve Got Rhythm." Keeping with my superficial-ness, it
almost looks like she is trying to lose some weight, or at least is just picking
better clothes. Of all of her performances this one puts her totally, especially
if she is losing some weight, back on the right track. She just needs to quit
smiling so big – popping out the upper gum.

Chris: Sings "Don’t Get Around Much Anymore." He didn’t seem to
understand the crooner thing, and I thought he was bad, even with the nice lid.
Maybe it was better live than on TV because the judges liked it, but I thought
he sucked.

Jordin: Sings "On a Clear Day." Horrible outfit, and she almost seems
to be putting on weight, or horrible outfits. Her singing was okay but for the
most part I found her boring, which bums me out because I really liked her at
the beginning of the competition. Probably better live for the audience.

Gina: Sings "Smile." I thought she sounded great, but really lacked on
the performance side of it, although I’m hot sure how you "perform" that song.
If she wanted to blast this out of the water she would have kept it calm for the
first half of the song, then turned it into a rocker for the second half. Too
bad.

Sanjaya: Sings "I’m in Heaven." He still can’t sing on stage, but he
has figured out that all he needs to do is "work the crowd." The hair was more
conservative this week. All he needs to do is worry about his hair and outfits.

Haley: Sings "Ain’t Misbehavin’." She has learned to flaunt her
assets, sings okay (crooner songs are definitely not her forte), but I don’t
care because according to my TV she is saving all of her love for me.

LeKisha: Sings "Stormy Weather." I’m sorry, but as nice as she sings
all I can think is that if I gave her a bad review she would beat the crap out
of me. Great voice, but somehow she needs to find the right people to make her
flip into being glamorous in an Aretha Franklin kind of way.

This will be an interesting week to see who gets voted off because of many
outside sources, and the fact that the youngins probably have no clue who Tony
Bennett is. I’m still voting for Sanjaya, Haley, and Gina, because at
least for Haley and Gina, they have the looks to become an American Idol,
although Melinda seems to be closing in fast.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

What’s New? A Podcast of: Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up! Freaky Fraternity Visitors, Movie Talk, and Nice Easter Eggs.

For this podcast of “Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up!”, The Dude on the Right relives fraternity days thanks to a story in a campus newspaper and Stu Gotz’s recollections. They also talk about recent movies, and words caught on tape, by Stu, at an Easter Egg Hunt that Stu has to try to figure out how to erase so that his kids can watch the tape and not ask “What is a MILF?”

You Never Know Where You’ll Find “White Trash” These Days.

I think it is getting harder and harder to know who is white trash these
days. I blame home interest rates being low and the crappy market. Let me
explain.

I live in a good, middle-class neighborhood. We all live in nice houses (not
trailers and not manufactured homes which you might associate with the white
trash nation), we have yards, and many of us have kids playing in backyards. We
also have a nice, little, wooded area across the way that once in awhile a deer
comes walking out of to stroll down the street. Well, this peace and harmony was
shattered the other night, around 1:30AM, when I hear someone arguing in the
neighbor’s driveway. Now this is not a stretch since my window was open and
faces the driveway, but I was fortunate enough to hear a good ole, white trash,
Jerry Springer
fight! And to make it more interesting, apparently the argument was over the
phone so of course it was more appropriate for the fight to be held outside
instead of in the house. Hell, Jerry wouldn’t turn off the cameras if he were
here so why should my neighbor go inside of his house? Remember, white trash
always needs an audience. The argument ranged from needing a paternity test
(although there is no way he raped her since he was out of town that weekend) to
her “ma” spent all the money so she is shit out of luck.

Now don’t get me wrong, this argument was also very educational. I heard the
word "fuck" used in ways I never thought possible, with my world being opened up
to whole new way of using “fuck” as an adjective. There was also a legal lesson.
You see my neighbor "looked it up," he could get her charged with felony
trespessin’ if she came over to the house. I would LOVE to see the local law
enforcement handling that one and would actually grab a lawn chair, pop some
popcorn, and film it for “COPS.”

The argument went on for a good half hour, but apparently he had to cut the
argument short because the pickup truck was running in the driveway. But thank
God he shut off the truck so he could call back and argue some more! Whew! I did
not think a half hour of degrading a woman was long enough and it definitely
needed that half hour more. Really, who would want to miss another half hour of
hearing fuck describe every noun in a sentence! But rather than complain about
the argument I guess I was lucky that night because the neighbor’s fucking
rottweiler shut up that night instead of its normal barking at 1:30AM.

Anyone in the market for a nice, middle-class house?

See ya!
Trash 🙂

Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up! Freaky Fraternity Visitors, Movie Talk, and Nice Easter Eggs.

By:

The Dude on the Right
Baseball is coming, and so is Easter, and Stu Gotz joins me for another

podcast of "Stu & The Dude’s Weekend Wrap-Up!"

This episode opens with me
questioning Stu if fraternity life has changed as much as a news report seems to
say it has, and he reminds me of the foot-fetish caller that dialed our
fraternity house during meals. We also talk a little bit about

"Blades of Glory," but I let Stu know that if he wants to see a great movie,

"The Lookout" might want to make it to his list.

We both were up to date
that Donald Trump didn’t get his head shaved for
"Wrestlemania,"
although neither of us actually thought it would be The Donald’s hair getting
the cut. Stu’s weekend also took an interesting turn at an Easter Egg Hunt
where, while Stu was filming his kids, a friend of his comes up and starts
commenting on the Easter Eggs on the MILF’s at the hunt. Stu’s got some
video editing to do if he wants to actually show this video to his kids.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Download and Listen Here

Subscribe Here

I’m Not Sure What It Costs, But You Can Get Your Own Naked, Chocolate Jesus. Happy Easter!

By:

The Dude on the Right
Easter
is coming, and all of us know that for Catholics, well, Easter is all about the
Easter Bunny, Easter Eggs, breaking out your new spring outfit, and going to
church one of those two times a year. In fact, lately, like Christmas has
become about Santa Claus and presents, Easter has now become about chocolate.
Forget the Christian teachings of Jesus getting crucified and rising from the
dead to save our sins, most of us just want the chocolate, or hope that that
Easter Egg we found might hold a few bucks rather than candy. And yet,
when an artist, sculpturer, dude, decides to sculpt a life-size Jesus out of
chocolate, and wants to display it in a New York gallery, suddenly a bunch of
Catholics get their panties in a bunch and squash the display. Sure, the
Jesus is displayed without a loin-cloth, so yea, that means his wiener is
showing, but maybe people should worry more about their religion rather than a
naked Jesus made of chocolate.

And for me, this seems to be what is so screwed
up about the world today: Religion. The problem is also that this
seems to be what has been so screwed up about the world for, well, forever.
Religions preach tolerance. Religions preach forgiveness. Religions
preach "Love one another" no matter what. Yet when someone’s thoughts,
beliefs, ideals, religion, is different from yours, or you sculpt a six-foot
Jesus out of Chocolate, suddenly all of that is thrown out the window, other
people are heathens, and they will rot in hell because they aren’t one with the
Easter Bunny.

The dumbest part of this story – I would have probably not found
out about this chocolate Jesus if a group of Catholics didn’t complain. It
would have been another piece of art some fool would have spent huge amounts of
money on to put in his living room (which now would have to be permanently
chilled), so that he could say "Look, I’ve got Jesus, made out of chocolate.
Please don’t eat his penis."

Welcome to the season of Easter.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

And, oh yea, the artist-dude who did the sculpture is
Casimo Cavallero,
and that’s where I got the picture of the naked, chocolate Jesus from.

What’s New? A Movie Review of “The Lookout.”

For this movie review of “The Lookout” The Dude on the Right loves the movie but does his best not to give away too many of the twists and turns. He does mention a shoelace, but that’s not really giving much away. It’s got a bank heist, some quality kills, and some sex, but that’s not really what the movie is about.

What’s New? A Podcast of: Sanjaya is Safe Again, and Maybe Paula Abdul was Watching “Bruce Almighty.” It’s Good.

For this podcast The Dude on the Right is mostly focused on all things “American Idol.” Sanjaya is safe again, and The Dude is starting to think he might be more influential than Howard Stern. He’s still happy Gina is safe, is thinking of starting a Haley fan-club, and wonders if Paula Abdul might have been watching “Bruce Almighty” before the show.

What’s New? A Movie Review of “Blades of Glory.”

For this movie review of “Blades of Glory,” The Dude on the Right doesn’t give an in-depth look about the movie because he is also busy working on the latest installment of “Stu & The Dude Reviewin’ the Movies for You,” which will review the same film. He just wants to quickly make sure that if you want to laugh you go and see this movie. But then, of course, come back and see their animated review, because Stu Gotz won’t fair too well.

Sanjaya is Safe Again, and Maybe Paula Abdul was Watching “Bruce Almighty.” It’s Good.

By:

The Dude on the Right
Flying solo for

this podcast all I am really excited about is "American Idol." I know
that’s sort of sad, but that Sanjaya dude is really the only thing keeping me
interested in the show, except, well, also Haley because she is cute, and Gina
because she is from a town near where I live, and she is looking better and
better every week. So I guess I have a triplet of reasons why I am still
interested in the show.

And yes, you probably already know, but Sanjaya is
safe for another week. It might be Howard Stern’s listeners, it might be
the votefortheworst folks, but I’m going to start to take credit and say that it
is the billions and billions of people who can visit our site and can listen to
our podcast that are making the difference. I have been on the "Vote for
Sanjaya" train for a number of weeks now, and that train is heading across the
nation.

Paula Abdul was a little more subdued than normal this week, so it’s
not really a great week for my "Paula Abdul Clip of the Week." Even so I
think Paula might have been watching

"Bruce Almighty" before the Tuesday night show. You know why?
Because "It’s good."

Thanks for listening.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Download and Listen Here

Subscribe Here