My Problem With Kids and Movie Theaters


The Dude on the Right

Maybe it’s because I’m not a parent and I can’t relate, or
maybe it’s just that the parents don’t care, but I still find it
unbelievable the number of parents that bring kids to movies that just
aren’t appropriate for them. My case in point this time being while I
was at "Bad
News Bears

Getting to the gigaplex a little early so I can get
my favorite seat, I’m sitting in the theater knowing that the movie is
rated PG-13, for rude behavior, language throughout, some sexuality, and
thematic elements, whatever that last one means. Just as the commercials
begin, in walks a dad and I’m assuming his two sons, looking to be about
5 or 6. They proceed to sit a couple of seats away from me, and then dad
instructs the sons that they should move because he’ll be back in a few
minutes with candy and stuff. What dad doesn’t instruct them is the
basic rule in movie theaters – keep your mouth shut, don’t ask
questions, and don’t kick the railing in front of you. While dad was
gone, the kids went on to do all of those things, and I knew my
movie-going experience would be a chore. I hoped, that at least when dad
got back, that things might change, but low and behold, I guess dad
thought this was his living room.

Yep, I’m trying to watch a pretty funny movie, and Johnny and Billy
(not their real names) keep asking dad questions about what is going on
in the movie, what
Billy Bob Thornton just said, or to pass another
Twizzlers. Then
of course there was Johnny, or maybe it was Billy, who kept thinking
that the cool thing to do because he didn’t understand what was going on
during the movie was to kick the railing in front of him. Dad, did,
politely tell his son to stop, but these were kids who don’t seem to
listen to their parents because he kept at it for most of the film.

I hope you, our reader, are good parents and courteous movie-goers,
because damn, we’ve all paid our good money to see this movie. It’s bad
enough we think the theater is our garbage can when we toss our empty
popcorn bag under our chair, but people, it is not your living room,
because I’m not in your living room. That’s how you can tell.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!