National Lampoon's Van Wilder
Movie Stats & Links
Tara Reid, Tim Matheson, Kal Penn, Teck
Holmes, Erik Estrada
||For the sake of
the world, leave them at home.
||Don't take her
after dinner or lunch, she might throw up on your shoulder.
||Some scenes, and
||Lots of them if
you're easily amused.
||Van at Gwen's
parent's house having them do body shots.
||"That's no bong,
it's for my schlong!", "Who's Air Supply?"
||Robert Levy, Peter
Abrams, Andrew Panay and Jonathan
You know my propensity for being easily amused. Well,
there I found myself in a movie theater watching "National Lampoonís
Van Wilder" with, it seems, about 40 other people who are just as
easily amused. As much as, during one scene in the movie, I might have
lost my lunch on the people in front of me had I eaten lunch, and
other than the ending of the movie being totally predictable, I
actually liked "Van Wilder." You probably wonít like it unless, like
me, you are also easily amused.
A Movie Review
"Van Wilder" tells the story of,
well, Van Wilder. Heís the cool dude in college. Heís the dude whoís
been in college forever, or at least seven years. Heís the dude in
college who you'd think was a pig but has a kinder, gentler side. Heís
the dude, much like our staff writer Big Cooter, who we never thought
would get out of college, mostly because he was having too much fun
while there. Well, it almost seemed like Vanís days at college were
over because daddy, Vance Sr. (Tim Matheson), finally realizes his son
has been in college for seven years and yanks his tuition money.
Wondering what to do, and spending his last $38 at a nudie bar, Van
comes up with the idea for Topless Tutors. Money is starting to roll
in until the nudie bar owners get a little pissed, so now Van is stuck
with no source of income. But what is Van good at? Heís an excellent
party planner, and after planning a lovely skating rink party for the
geek fraternity, and an expose in the campus paper written by Gwen
(Tara "hubba-la-bubbala" Reid), assigned to investigate Van by her
editor, well, Vanís source of income as a party planner is firmly
So yea, youíve now got Van planning parties, and Gwen trying to
interview Van, but Van starts to get smitten with Gwen, even though
Gwen has a boyfriend, and Gwen actually becomes smitten with Van, much
to the disgust of the boyfriend, Dick (Daniel Cosgrove). Yea, the
fight for Gwen begins, pranks begin, and dog semen somehow becomes
good filling for doughnuts. Dick gets his revenge by getting Van
expelled, Van gets his revenge thanks to Gwen, and all is well with
the world because Van finally realizes that he hasnít graduated yet
because he is afraid of the real world. Duh. And, oh yea, he gets the
girl if you couldnít figure that out for yourself.
The story sounds kinda simple and childish, and it is. Maybe thatís
what I liked about it. Youíve got Vanís assistants, Hutch (Teck
Holmes), and Taj Mahal Badalandabad (Kal Penn) always by Vanís side,
diligently doing anything Van asks (Taj hires on as Vanís assistant
because he wants to get laid), youíve got the fraternity portrayed as
a bunch of arrogant pricks (sure, you get the cheap laugh because the
fraternity is Delta Iota Kappa, DIK for short, complete with the
sorority girl wearing the "I Love DIK" t-shirt), and in terms of gross
out, this time I almost vomited.
Now a lot of criticism has been heading the way of the "National
Lampoon" label, and in a way, rightly so. They used to be known for
some classics, namely "Animal House" and "Vacation," but things arenít
leaning well in terms of classics anymore. Is "Van Wilder" destined to
be one of those classics? Doubtful, very doubtful, but if youíre
looking for mindless humor, "Van Wilder" wonít make you think much.
The story is simple, the jokes obvious, but if you let yourself be an
easily amused sixteen year old where a line like "Naomi backward is 'I
moan,'" can make you laugh, you might like the movie. If youíre
looking for the next "Animal House," head to the video store and rent
The person in me trying to honor the art of filmmaking says I
should give "National Lampoonís Van Wilder" maybe 1 star, but the
easily amused person in me gives another star for the idea of Topless
Tutors, and a second star added for almost making me vomit. That takes
a lot. And so, adding things up, itís 3 stars out of 5 for "Van
Wilder." It could have been 5 out of 5 if Tara had gotten naked, but I
guess you canít ask for everything.
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!