Touch A Movie Review	MPAA Rated - R It's 1:36 Long A Review by The Dude on the Right

Joined by about ten other folks in the movie theater I'm thinking this movie is going to be a dud. Come on, no advertising, it's only playing at two theaters in Chicago, and there were ten other people I don't know sitting around me. My only hope was that since it was rated R and Bridget Fonda was in it that there might be some gratuitous sex, but we'll get to that outcome later. Two previews, the movie starts and first we get a confused lesson on how to address LL Cool J, then we get to see a drunk dude whipping commemorative plates of the Presidents and hit a blind lady. Enter Bill (Christopher Walken), the drunk dude stops throwing the Presidents, enter Juvenal (Skeet Ulrich), there's a little blood on the blind lady, but now she can see. It's a miracle and I'm confused.

Well, let's give you a little rundown about "Touch" now that I've seen it. First off you've got Juvenal. He's out from being a monk and working in the alcohol rehab center. Nothing special there except that if he touches sick people he can heal them, he has the "touch," and probably, hence the name of the movie. Then you've got Bill, an old religious scam artist now stuck selling mobile homes and looking for a way back into the religion game. He's friends with Lynn (Bridget Fonda), a band manager type who gets sent by Bill to find out the scoop on Juvenal, but yea, you guessed it, finds out the scoop and if he's good in bed. Now you've got August (Tom Arnold) who is the leader of a new group called "OUTRAGE," a religious group who wants to change the Catholic religion back to the old days with Latin and stuff. Now, if those four aren't a strange mix enough for a movie, enter Debra (Gina Gershon), the trashy TV talk show host, Kathy (Jeneane Garofalo), the reporter from the small time newspaper, Artie (Paul Mazursky), the record promoter looking to either score big with a record from healing boy Juvenal or score big with Antoinette (Lolita Davidovich), whose son was healed by Juvee. What you get are seven people all trying to get something from our hero, all succeeding in their own way, but I think Juvenal is the luckiest guy of them all because he gets Lynn.

Set in a town where everyone wears some of the tackiest clothes known to man (or woman), basically, as the movie goes, Bill is looking to exploit Juvenal, from books to television to record deals, and enlists the help of all our cast to achieve his lofty goal. Everyone seems to be having a good old time, all except August, who is getting screwed because he never gets mentioned in any of the publicity. Pissed, in the end he takes matters into his own hands. Meanwhile, Juvenal doesn't seem to care that everyone is exploiting him, he seems more amazed that anyone really cares, all until he realizes the money Bill is going to make. All the while he has the loving and caring Lynn by his side, trying to keep him sheltered from the vultures.

In "Touch" you've got this great intertwining of characters in a story line that if one of them was missing would lose its edge. I found myself bustin' up at the continuous poking of fun at the entire religious world, from August and his "OUTRAGE" group to finding out our hero has committed some of the worst sins. It pokes fun at the tabloid television and newspaper media, and even throws in a nice love story. And in the end, I found myself watching one of the best movies of its twisted kind since "Pulp Fiction."

Now, you ladies out there always complaining that movies show the naked girls but not the naked guys, well, this is the movie for you. Now, don't get all in a tizzy, there's no frontal nudity, but as Whammy and I were driving back to her place she comments, "I don't ever think I've seen that much male nudity in a movie in a long time. Boy he's got a nice butt." Me, I'm bummin', and Whammy goes, "What, Bridget Fonda had that nice outfit on in the kitchen, and they had that one side shot where you could see her boob." I'm like "Not really. Come on Whammy, I'm coming to this movie thinking 'Rated R, Bridget Fonda, yes!' But no, all us guys get is a skimpy little outfit, some nice t-shirts, and the side of a boob. You, how'd you put it, you got to see 'a nice butt.'"

Oh well, sorry for that little nudity interlude, but guys, if you're going looking for gratuitous sex and nudity, well, all you really get is a pretty funny movie. Girls, though, you get a "nice butt" too. All in all I really liked "Touch" and rate it on a must see list. Hopefully it will be released and pushed to a wider audience because it should be one of those classic flicks, but for now I can say I saw a damn good movie and you probably saw a volcano movie with a lot of stupid people. Four and a half stars out of five from me for "Touch."

That's it for this one, I'm the Dude on the Right! L8R!!