Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Movie Stats & Links
Daniel Craig, Iain Glen, Daniel Craig, Leslie Phillips,
Chris Barrie, Jon Voight
||Better for the
||You get a nice,
side shot of Angelina's breasts.
||It's mostly rock
creatures getting shot up.
then some more.
||There's a chuckle
here and there.
||The movie's a
Lloyd Levin, Colin Wilson
I canít say that I didnít enjoy "Lara Croft:
Tomb Raider." I did. I think so did most of the young teenage
boys, and yes, there was even some smatterings of applause at the
end and people actually cheered when Lara Croft whacked the dude in
the head with the back tire of her motorcycle. So am I saying
something was wrong? Well, I just think it could have been more. Now
thatís not a bad thing, itís just how do you write a review
about a movie that is so much like watching a video game that itís
A Movie Review
"Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" gives us probably the only
person who could pull off transforming the busty, kick-ass video
game champion onto the big screen and that person is Angelina Jolie.
She had the sass, she had the figure, and she and her stunt people
had all of the moves. The story, well, plays out just like a video
game. This one has the bad guys trying to recover these two pieces
of a triangle and put them back together at just the right time so
that they can control the world (putting the triangle back together
gives that person the ability to travel through time, thus changing
any event in history that doesnít fit with their master plan). Itís
up to Lara to get in the way of their plan at the request of her
father (Jon Voight) in a letter from the grave (heís dead). And
honestly, thatís about all you really need to know about the plot
because, well, the only purpose of the plot seems to be to have Lara
have adventures you would find if you bought the video game series.
Why do I say this? Well, the movie gives you cool locations, from
the jungle to the arctic, just like the games. The movie also gives
you Lara in skimpy outfits, just like the games. The movie also
gives you a big, bad monster character (in this movieís case a
giant Buddha-like monster, made of stone) that you have to have all
of your weapons to kill (Lara needed a few more gun clips) or come
up with an ingenious use of your surroundings (Lara does), just like
the games. And quite honestly, if youíve ever played video games
similar to the Tomb Raider series, you know that after you
accomplish the first challenge there is the movie scene during the
game where your character discusses the next course of action Ė
the movie had those too. Quite honestly, if you could somehow take
your Tomb Raider game, set it so that Lara would do everything
needed to get through and save the world automatically, you would
have the same thing as the movie. But I still liked it.
"Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" doesnít really give you any
surprises, gives you a pretty dorky story, but will give you some
really cool action sequences Angelina is smokiní hot in this role.
What else to you want?
So why do I think it could have been more? I guess because I
wanted a story like an Indiana Jones type with a kick-ass hero, or
in this case heroine, kinda like Neo in "The Matrix." I
got the kick-ass heroine, but itís the story that destroyed this
movie. Why did the Indiana Jones series work? I think maybe because
the stories were based on religious lore, i.e., the power of the
Ark, the belief in the Holy Grail, and the stories of not so much
the Shankara stones, but more in the black magic going on behind the
scenes. "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" gave us a story that was
just too out there to even try to believe it for one minute.
Although, now that I think about it, maybe thatís why I did like
the movie Ė the plot was so dumb I didnít dwell on it and just
enjoyed the kick-ass action. Iím so confused.
In the end "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" will give you what
you can expect. Letís tally some stars. Itís two stars for the
cool action, two stars for Jolie playing Lara Croft and even almost
bearing her breasts, one star for some pretty cool set designs, but
Iíve got to knock off 1 Ĺ stars for that dumb-ass story. That
leaves things at 3 Ĺ stars out of 5 for "Lara Croft: Tomb
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!