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Starring: John Travolta, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Don Cheadle
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Warner Bros.
Web Site:
Kiddie Movie: Leave them at home.
Date Movie: It's an action film.  It's up to you and your knowing your dudette.
Gratuitous Sex: An insinuated blow-job and Halle gets naked.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots.  People get blow up, so do buildings.
Action: Some chase scenes.
Laughs: The movie if you really think about it.
Memorable Scene: The "job interview."
Memorable Quote: During the "job interview": "Oh, she's good, isn't she?" 
Directed By: Dominic Sena
Produced By: Joel Silver, Jonathan D. Krane

A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - R

It's 1:37 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
I was able to forget reality and was buying into "Swordfish" until Stanley (Hugh Jackman) rolled down a cliff (followed by the cops rolling down the same cliff after him). It was then that I realized, even with the great chases and high-tech story, that "Swordfish" was pretty stupid and I just couldnít let it slide. Itís kind of funny that in the opening sequence Gabriel (John Travolta) is telling the cops that all Hollywood makes is shit, when, well, things arenít looking for too good for Travolta movies lately. Anyway, here are the basics for the story.

Gabriel used to work for the government, and sort of still does, but this time heís looking to steal 9+ billion dollars to finance killing the terrorist bad guys and thus continuing the American way of life. The problem is he needs a great computer hacker to get the money from one account to another and his original prospect just got busted at the airport. So he enlists Stanley who is coerced by Ginger (Halle Berry) to helping because, well, he wants to get his daughter back. Well, that and a blow-job and a gun to his head didnít hurt either. So we get Stanley working to break into computers, we get Ginger being seductive, and we get Gabriel working to be a bad-ass. It sounds pretty good, and like I said before, well, I was able to suspend reality until Stanley took the leap over the cliff. Then every stupid thing about the movie came out. Now I couldnít buy the fact that the government had 9+ billion dollars floating in a bank account that it sort of forgot about; now I couldnít buy the car chase with Gabriel touting guns in both hands as Stanley was steering; now I couldnít but the bus flying through the air, and now I couldnít buy this movie even with hostages blowing up and Halle Berry showing her boobs. 

Itís too bad because I still think Travolta makes a good bad guy (he wasnít bad as the sinister Gabriel), Jackman came across well as the sucker who just wanted to play with computers, and Berry, well, just looked hot. The three of them were wasted in a movie that was just a little too over the top.

For this rating Iíll break it down like this: Ĺ star for Halle Berry bearing her breasts (although appreciated it didnít seem necessary for the story), Ĺ star for hostages blowing up, Ĺ star for the job interview scene, Ĺ star the scene where Stanley was in his computer zone, and Ė Ĺ star for when Stanley and the cops went rolling down the hill. That leaves "Swordfish" at 2 Ĺ stars out of 5. Itís too bad great performances got wasted in a movie that went just a little too far past my reality level.

Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!


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