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Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Sharon Stone, Samuel L. Jackson, Peter Coyote, Liev Schreiber, Queen Latifah
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Warner Bros.
Web Site:
Kiddie Movie: It's tries to be more of an intellectual thriller, without any really cool monsters. I doubt it.
Date Movie: She might get squeemish and hold your hand.
Gratuitous Sex: You see more of Samuel L. Jackson than of Sharon Stone, but nothing sexual.
Gratuitous Violence: Some people get killed.
Action: More suspense than action.
Laughs: There are a couple of chuckles.
Memorable Scene: Our heroes in the chamber as they start to suck on helium. It was quite humorous hearing bad-ass Samuel L. Jackson saying "Follow the yellow brick road" on helium.
Memorable Quote: Harry's explaination to Dr. Goodman as to why they were all gonna die down there.
Directed By: Barry Levinson
Produced By: Barry Levinson, Michael Crichton, and Andrew Wald

A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - PG-13

It's 2:12 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
Dustin Hoffman as
Dustin Hoffman as "Dr. Norman Goodman"
So, I'm sitting there watching "Sphere" when one of the cut-away titles to the next sequence says "The Monster." "About freakin' time!" I thought. The problem is, now I'm at home typing this review, and I'm still waiting for the monster.

Maybe "Sphere" is a movie that is trying to be terrifying. For me, I wasn't terrified. Or maybe "Sphere" is a movie that is trying to be a psychological thriller. For me, I didn't have to think much and I wasn't thrilled. Or maybe "Sphere" is trying to be… You know, I really have no idea what "Sphere" is trying to be.

The movie kind of goes like this: Dr. Norman Goodman (Dustin Hoffman) wrote this "instruction manual" a while back for the government about what to do if we are meeting some aliens, and who should do the meeting. Little did he know that the government found what it thought was an alien ship, and rounded up the people mentioned, to greet our new visitors. So, along with Goodman, and some old acquaintances he mentioned in the book, we are taken to the ocean floor to say "Hello." The only problem is that there doesn't seem to be anyone to say "Hello" to, only this giant sphere.
Samuel L. Jackson as
Samuel L. Jackson as "Harry Adams"
Well, Harry Adams (Samuel L. Jackson), the mathematician dude along on the trip, decides he wants to find out what is inside the sphere, and his curiosity lets the research team get stuck on the ocean floor while a big storm passes on the surface above. Oh no, our heroes are trapped, with no way out - it must be time for people to die. And, well, some people do, but luckily for our heroes they figure out just what is causing the crazy sea creatures and fires and snakes and mayhem. Dammit, they figure out it's the sphere, (spoiler warning - stop reading now if you don't want me to ruin some important, supposed to be, surprises) and themselves.

You see, it seems that if you go inside the sphere that you now have the ability to transform your thoughts into reality. The only problem for our heroes is that their thoughts are about the things that scare them. Laughingly, I immediately thought of "Ghostbusters" when the big-old marshmallow dude started reeking havoc. But, I also wondered why these people's only thoughts were of scary things and not of, getting rescued, or sex (since that is the only thing that is supposedly on a guy's mind anyhow), or pizza. Oh well, maybe it's just me.

Sharon Stone as
Sharon Stone as "Beth Halperin"
Well, although I spoiled some of this movie, I won't spoil the absolute end. Oh hell, what's the difference now? Our three heroes live, they figured out how to control their thoughts, and all is safe for the time-travel loop.

"Sphere," I thought, just tried too hard. The potential was there, and some better quality kills would have definitely added to the horror potential (as well as Sharon Stone getting naked adding to the enjoyment potential), but there really weren't any surprises waiting around the corner, except maybe the dorky ending. Rather than live to save the world, I would have had our heroes blown up, but maybe that would have ruined the time-travel thing.

Oh well, for me it's 2 stars out of 5 for "Sphere." It was at least a half-hour too long, and most of the time I just found myself saying "Duh."

That's it for this one!  I'm The Dude on the Right!!  L8R!!!


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