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Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Julie Benz, Paul Schulze, Matthew Marsden, Ken Howard
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Lionsgate
Web Site:
Kiddie Movie: For the love of God leave them at home.
Date Movie: It's really a dude's kind of movie, unless she likes that kind of thing.
Gratuitous Sex: Not in a good way.
Gratuitous Violence: Um, duh.
Action: Lots of running and chasing going on.
Laughs: Nope.
Memorable Scene: When the village gets attacked for the final time.
Memorable Quote: "When war is in your blood, killing's as easy as breathing."
Directed By: Sylvester Stallone
Produced By: Kevin King, Avi Lerner, Sylvester Stallone, John Thompson

A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - R

It's 1:33 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
"Rambo" is rated R for strong graphic bloody violence, sexual assaults, grisly images and language. Iíll ignore the sexual assault side of the movie, that is just a bummer, but in the history of moviedom I canít remember any film that has the level of carnage inflicted by both the good boys and the bad boys. People are dismembered; People are blown apart; People are decapitated; People get holes blown through them; People get arrows through their heads; and all with blood and body parts flying through the air looking like that frog in a blender cartoon on the internet from years ago. And, oh yea, thereís something going on with some pigs as well. Gotta love a "Rambo" movie! Letís get to the storyÖ

So thereís John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone), living out his days in Thailand, near the Burmese border, hunting for snakes, giving fish to the locals, and being surly. Heís got a boat and doesnít have the urge to kill people. Life is good. Sure thereís turmoil around him as the armies destroy villages, murder and rape the women while enslaving the boys into their army, but John does his best to ignore it all. Enter a group of do-gooders. Yup, they want to take medical supplies and spread the word of Jesus to those tormented and injured in the villages, and the easiest way to get there is via Johnís boat.

Rambo, at first, wants nothing to do with their travel plans because he knows the truth of what is going on there and also knows some penicillin and bibles wonít save the people, but Sarah (Julie Benz) convinces him that even though he might be down on what they do for a life calling, it is their decision nonetheless. Reluctantly John takes them up river, and even with Rambo saving their lives during the trip, the lead missionary, Michael, (Paul Schulze) wants to rat him out for what he did.

John heads back to his life, the missionaries find out maybe itís not the safest thing doing good, and when they arenít heard from their pastor asks Rambo if heíll lead a group of mercenaries to where he left them so the mercenary dudes can hopefully rescue them.

Rambo, of course, realizes the holy hell that the mercenaries have in store for them, and he knows that if Sarah is still alive, well, he is probably the only one that can really save her.

Needless to say it is Rambo who saves the day, preferring his machete and bow & arrows to take out the enemy, and itís easy to say that the "we arenít for killing" people might have a slightly different attitude about the supplies the Burmese people need.

Look, a "Rambo" movie isnít rocket science, although there can never be any as good as the original "First Blood," but this version will give you enough testosterone to get you through the hour and a half, and maybe even help you realize the brutal killings that go on in some of these war-torn places like Burma, now Myanmar. Sylvester Stallone is his grizzly best as the aging John Rambo, and even though he has been given some critical acclaim for a few roles ("Cop Land" for one), I think even he realizes that his legacy will be for two roles, Rocky and John Rambo, and in the last year he has given us two great movies to close out those roles. Hopefully he wonít revisit either character because I do like the closure for them, but it might be fun to see him reprise the John Spartan role in "Demolition Man 2."

I really enjoyed "Rambo" for giving me exactly what I was looking for in the violence quotient, and then multiplying that by about 1,000%, and rather than being preachy with dialogue about the trouble going on in Burma, what better way then with a visual aid of the soldiers placing bets on which captive gets blown up first while crossing a mine field.  Itís 4 stars out of 5!

Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!


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