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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Manís Chest
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Disney Pictures
Web Site:
Kiddie Movie: It's got a little more violence than the first film, at least I think so.
Date Movie: She'll still find either Captain Jack or Will dreamy, depending on the freakiness of your girl.
Gratuitous Sex: Some talk and pushed-up boobs in tight outfits.
Gratuitous Violence: There's a lot of people dying.
Action: There's a lot of running away from bad things.
Laughs: Lots of good chuckles.
Memorable Scene: The effects were great, but I just liked every time Elizabeth Swann smiled.
Memorable Quote: I don't think I have it exact, but the Captain of one ship tells his crew, as they are looking for a female stowaway (Elizabeth Swann), "She is probably naked."  We could only wish.
Directed By: Gore Verbinski
Produced By: Jerry Bruckheimer

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Manís Chest
A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - PG-13

It's 2:30 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
It is at times like this that I really wonder why I am writing a review. Itís the Tuesday after "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Manís Chest" opened, and I saw it last Saturday afternoon. For this, that, and another reason, I didnít get the review written on that Saturday, and had every intention of writing it on Sunday afternoon. But who knew the Chicago White Sox would have a 19-inning baseball game ruining any chance of productivity from me for that Sunday. It was also on that Sunday that I found out "PiratesÖ" made some $132 Million over the weekend. I guess Iím just wondering if there is anyone out there who has yet to see the movie and needs a review to make up their mind whether or not they should go and see it? So I guess Iíll just give you my synopsis of "PiratesÖ Dead Manís Chest," and what I thought, because for a movie like this, I donít think you really give a damn what I think because you will see it anyway. So letís get to the storyÖ

"Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Manís Chest" sort of picks up where "Ö The Curse of the Black Pearl" ends. Will (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth (Keira Knightley) are looking to get married, and our favorite pirate, Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) finds himself looking for a special key, finds himself in trouble, yet still convinces his crew to help him out. Sadly for Will and Elizabeth they get arrested for helping Jack Sparrow in the first film, but mostly itís a bogus arrest, just a way to make Will, and later Elizabeth, to help an evil Lord get Jackís magic compass. So Will is off to find Jack and get his compass, Elizabeth soon follows, but Jack has his own problems, namely that he made a deal with the evil pirate Davy Jones, that if could be Captain of The Black Pearl again, that Davy would get his soul, and servitude, after so many years. Those years have come and gone, so now Jack knows that the only way to get out of his deal is to get Davy Jonesí treasure chest, which contains Davyís still beating heart, and thus controls Davyís life.

Yes, Will and Elizabeth both find Jack in their own way, and Jack convinces both of them to help him get the chest, but the Lord dude actually doesnít really want the magic compass, really he wants the chest because that controls Davy Jones, which then in turn controls the new shipping lanes on the road to immeasurable fortune.

Okay, fine, the story is actually easier to understand if you watch the movie than my complicated synopsis, so letís just say that, in the end, somehow everyone is looking for Davy Jonesí treasure chest, and not everyone plays nice.

As far as my opinion of "PiratesÖ: Dead Manís Chest", I guess the easiest way to start is to say that for the first "PiratesÖ" film, there was a magic in learning about all of our swashbuckling characters. We loved learning of the idiosyncrasies of Jack Sparrow, his mannerisms, his goofiness, and his total likeability even though there was still something mean-spirited about him. We also got to fall in love with Elizabeth Swan because of her spunkiness, and just because she is just so damn loveable. And the dudettes got to get all dreamy-eyed at Will. But for this "PiratesÖ" film we already know all of this, so the story needed to be a lot stronger to lead us along their tales of love and mayhem. Sadly, for me, the story lacked a bit, and that is really the problem I had with the film. Action-wise "Ö Dead Manís Chest" was fantastic. Effects-wise, even better than the first film. Johnny Depp was again great as Captain Jack Sparrow, Orlando did fine as Will, and Keira Knightley, well, Iím quickly becoming a stalker so I canít say anything bad about her. There were a few surprises, but nothing unbelievable, and in the end, it was the story that seemed to really lack because by this time we already know the quirks and characteristics of our favorite characters, so we didnít need to be introduced to them anymore (like in the scene with the cannibalism tribe). Nope, for this movie we needed an entertaining story to move things along, and sadly, this movie was a lot more about the effects and looking cool rather than telling a story.

Look, I didnít hate this movie, but it wasnít nearly as fun the original, and in all honesty, that would have been a hard thing to accomplish. "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" was a lot about us falling in love with the main characters and the story was sort of secondary. But this time, with "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Manís Chest," we already love the characters, and the story needed to carry the film, and not just the effects. The story didnít really entertain me that much.

And so Iím giving "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Manís Chest" 3 stars out of 5. Iím still in love with Keira Knightley, and Johnny Depp is still great as Captain Jack. My only hope is that for part three of this series, tentatively titled "At Worldís End," the film folks set up what looks to be a fun story, especially with the inclusion of a past character, and hopefully the film folks understand we already love the characters, and I just want a great story.

Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!


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