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The New Guy
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: DJ Qualls, Lyle Lovett, Eddie Griffin, Eliza Dushku
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Columbia Pictures
Kiddie Movie: Nah.  It's a teen flick.
Date Movie: She'll probably kick your ass for taking her.
Gratuitous Sex: Nothing gratuitous.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: I laughed a lot.  You probably won't.
Memorable Scene: The bikini fashion show.
Memorable Quote: "When you break your dick in front of the whole school, people remember."
Directed By: Ed Decter
Produced By: Mark Ciardi, Todd Garner, Gordon Gray

The New Guy
A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - PG-13

It's 1:40 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
I didnít realize "The New Guy" would be such a star-studded affair. You get Gene Simmons, Tommy Lee, Kool Mo Dee, Vanilla Ice, Henry Rollins, and David Hasselhoff among others, on top of the all-star cast of DJ Qualls, Eddie Griffin, and the always hot in a cheerleaderís uniform, Eliza Dushku. And for those of you easily amused, as I am want to be, "The New Guy" isnít as bad as most critics deem, itís just stupid fun.

DJ Squalls plays Dizzy. Dizzy is one of those kids in high school who always gets picked on. He hopes senior year will be different for him and his friends, but when the blue-haired school administrator breaks his penis thinking it is a gun, in front of all of the other students, he knows his life will be miserable. After spending some time in jail, meeting up with Luther (Eddie Griffin), well, Luther takes him under his wing and tells Dizzy how he can be the "cool" dude, but heíll have to get transferred to another school first. Cheating on tests doesnít get him transferred, showing the principal taking a dump doesnít get him transferred, but when Dizzy breaks a mop handle, well thatís destruction of school property and finally Dizzy ends up in a different high school, and his plan takes shape.

Well, in his new high school, Dizzy, now called Gil, is a hit. He kicks the ass of the biggest dude at school, he has the cheerleaders drooling over him, and somehow gets everyone to get along. In the meantime he has learned who his true friends are, gets the love of the girl, and shows that even the nerd can be cool.

Yea, the story is week, but what I liked about the movie was that it didnít take itself seriously at all. Lyle Lovett as Dizzyís dad wears braces and gets put on fire, prison has a dude, everyday, trying to escape and being shot, and during the final scenes, with Dizzyís band, they donít even try to pretend they are playing their instruments.  You even have Dizzy and Danielle (Dushku) riding off into the sunset.

I wonít bother giving you anymore boring story details, this is one of those movies where you know if you can deal with it and enjoy it, or will walk out after the first fifteen minutes. Donít waste your breath telling me "The New Guy" sucked, if you think so you shouldnít have gone to see it in the first place. 2 Ĺ stars out of 5. It is what it is.

Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!


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