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The Hulk
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott, Josh Lucas, Nick Nolte
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Universal Pictures
Web Site:
Kiddie Movie: Lots of violence and a dark story.  Leave the youngin's at home.
Date Movie: She might just wonder if everything on him gets big.
Gratuitous Sex: Nah, but you do see Eric's but.
Gratuitous Violence: Lots of it, but no one seems to die.
Action: Not so much for the first half, then just mostly unbelievable.
Laughs: A chuckle or two.
Memorable Scene: Hulk fighting the dogs.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Ang Lee
Produced By: Avi Arad, Larry J. Franco, Gale Anne Hurd, James Schamus

The Hulk
A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - PG-13

It's 2:18 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
I was close to buying it. The fake Hulk was pretty cool, beating up the dogs was great, and he even had a personality. But then Ang Lee did what he seems to always do, and it just made me snap back into reality and wonder how Bruce Bannerís pants could stretch so much. What did Lee do? He pretty much made the Hulk almost able to fly, like those people in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." Yup, there was the fake Hulk, running around, and running pretty fast, then he started to sort of gallop, and then he was pretty much able to leap tall mountains with a single bound. I know the Hulk is strong, but the defying gravity thing pretty much pissed me off. Well, letís get to the story.

It seems Bruceís dad, David, did some genetic testing on himself when he was in the army. Well, wouldnít you know it, he passed on some genetic deformations into his son when mom and dad did the nasty. Dad knew something was amuck at the beginning and was set to do something about it, but his plan didnít go as planned. So Bruce ended up being adopted, grows up into a genetic scientist himself, and other than not being able to give enough of himself to his girlfriend, Betty (Jennifer Connelly), Bruce seems like an alright dude. So he and Betty are on the verge of creating these nano med things, little creatures that can help things heal, and Talbot (Josh Lucas) comes back into Bettyís life, trying to buy them out so he can make millions with the nano med things. Neither Betty nor Bruce are too keen on this idea, but thatís not the real problem. The real problem is there is a lab accident in which Bruce gets hit with some gamma rays and he survives seemingly unscathed.

Oh no, heís not really unscathed, and when dad (Nick Nolte) comes back into his life, well, Bruce begins to remember his blocked out childhood trauma, and the big, green man is born. Now the army wants him because heís a threat and a possible weapon, Betty needs him or else she becomes dog scraps, Talbot sees even more millions if he can figure out why the Hulk is green, and dad wants to get in touch with his inner child.

So the army catches him, Talbot loses him, the army chases him, and the Hulk nearly flies. Then thereís the bizarre ending which really didnít make sense to me but might to hard-core comic readers, and we also get to hear how "Youíre not going to like me when Iím angry" sounds in Spanish.

But is the film any good?

I canít say I was disappointed because I never liked the fake Hulk from the beginning, but there is one very important piece of information you need going into this movie: The story of the Hulk is not a happy story. Think of the movie "Batman" and not "Spider-man" because although Spidey is tormented, he seems to have more fun. Batman, like the Hulk, is tormented by past events, but heís not having a good time jumping around.

Story-wise the Hulk drags at times. There is a lot of time spent in explaining how the Hulk ends up being the Hulk instead of getting to the action that you will probably expect, and most of the action is just chase scene after chase scene, because it really isnít the Hulk trying to help anyone, heís just trying to not get caught or dead. Then, to probably keep things PG-13, the Hulk really doesnít kill anyone. Oddly enough being tossed through a wall, slammed to the concrete, and thrown into another person doesnít inflict death on a man, nor does a helicopter crash or your tank being tossed like a play toy.

You get the love story, dad is twisted, and the Hulk is big and green, but in the end that wasnít enough for me. After the Hulk was almost flying, I just couldnít take him seriously anymore.

Wrapping up Iím only giving "The Hulk" 2 stars out of 5. It would have been 3 except the "flying" thing still bugs me. It is a decent story, but really more of a deep drama rather than a comic action film.

Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!


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