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Starring: Will Smith, Charlize Theron, Jason Bateman
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Columbia Pictures
Web Site:
Kiddie Movie: Only if you want them to say "asshole" a lot.
Date Movie: If she's not a mom who would be trying to figure out how to get her kids to stop saying "Asshole."
Gratuitous Sex: It would have made this movie rated "R," and a lot better.
Gratuitous Violence: Only the before and the aftermath.
Action: Hancock does a lot of superhero flying.
Laughs: Quite a few if you are 14, or 41 and still want to be 14.
Memorable Scene: Hancock wanting to put Mary in the middle of some "frying pan" cymbals.
Memorable Quote: "Good job."
Directed By: Peter Berg
Produced By: Akiva Goldsman, James Lassiter, Michael Mann, Will Smith

A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - PG-13

It's 1:32 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
You know what burns my butt? - A candle about two feet high. You know what else burns my butt? - When movie people donít want to pull the trigger and just make a movie rated R, the way it easily should have been, and would have been done in much better fashion. The problem is that now the movie folks will do everything they can to keep the movie rated PG-13 including the "one use of the word Ďfuckí but we can use Ďassholeí and Ďshit,í and even Ďbitchí to our heart's content rule," only showing the aftermath of the violent mayhem rather than the actual violent mayhem, and leaving Charlize Theron with too many clothes on. I guess I could leave my review of "Hancock" at that, but hell, hereís the story, without giving away the convolutedness of the ending plot twist, and Iím not even talking about the fact that Mary (Theron) has the same powers as Hancock, because I picked that up from the trailers.

Here we goÖ

So, John Hancock (Will Smith) is a superhero, but heís also a drunk and has issues with people. John still goes about his superhero business, only when youíre a drunk and have issues with people, well, you generally donít worry about the financial aftermath of your actions, like destroying tons of real estate, an entire train, and then wondering why people donít love you. Enter Ray (Jason Bateman). Ray is a PR guru, only heís not really guru-ing lately, is kind of hung-up on this campaign to save the world, but when Hancock saves his life one day, Ray sees an opportunity to get Hancock back on the right track in the superhero world, and maybe resurrect his own PR career. Ray is also married, conveniently for our story, to Mary.

So, if youíve seen the trailers you know that Hancock ends up in jail (even though he could break out at any time), seems to get rehabilitated, dons the "Hancock" suit, and saves the day, at least so we think.


But things arenít that simple in Hancock-land. Nope, he feels alone but we quickly find out he isnít alone (Thank God, because by this time, we get it, Hancock is a schlub with superhero powers, even if he is rehabilitated), leaving us with some funny, reuniting scenes, and then the stupid part of the story arrives, explaining why Hancock can be injured, what Mary has to do with the story, and how the prison correction system in California might need some correcting of its own.

The thing is that I did laugh during the movie, even if many of the things I laughed at were already given away in the trailers, and my BFF, who went to the movie with me, also laughed a lot. My problem, and I canít believe Iím saying this because it almost makes me sound like an old, fuddy-duddy, is that even though from the marketing we see that Hancock is a surly drunk of a superhero, in a weird way it almost seemed appropriate for those under 13 years old, maybe even okay for the 8+ crowd, but in full "difference between the trailer and the final movie" mode, in the trailers there are scenes where kids call Hancock a "jackass." In the final version, well, I guess you can replace every one of those "jackass" comments with the word "asshole," multiply that by at least ten, and suddenly, combined with the f-bomb, s-bomb, and b-bomb I mentioned before, good luck getting your 8 year old from stopping saying the word "asshole," especially since I donít think a "time-out" will do it for this.

The movie is pretty funny, sometimes a little serious, and just about every 14-year old boy in the real world, and 41-year old resident of The Land of the Easily Amused world, will laugh their ass off with the simplest of jokes, like Hancock actually letting us see the aftermath of a dude getting his head shoved another dudeís ass, but, Iím actually knocking my rating to 2 Ĺ stars out of 5 because, and what the hell is wrong with me, I was disappointed with the movieís seeming inappropriateness for the younger ones (please e-mail me if you think Iím wrong about this). My BFF, however, said she thought the movie should get 3 Ĺ stars because, well, it simply made her laugh and wasnít too long, not even worrying about the children until I brought it up, then, well, she tried to backtrack, but Iím not going to let her.

Iím going to finalize this review and give "Hancock" 3 stars out of 5, averaging my and my BFFís ratings. Yes, it made me laugh, it made my BFF laugh, but I have a feeling, for adults, this movie could have been a total laugh-riot if it wasnít PG-13íd, for the children, of course, who might now have been given a license to call anyone an "asshole." I have a feeling a "time-out" wonít be enough to stop that.

Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!


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