Movie Stats & Links
||Ethan Hawke, Gwyneth Paltrow, Anne Bancroft, Robert De
||20th Century Fox
||Nope. Some violence, sex, and near nudity.
||She'll want you to take her.
||A good scene with Estella posing in the nude for Finn, a
scene with them in bed, and, in true "females are evil" form,
a scene in Piff's bedroom where Piff gets all hot and heavy
and Estella leaves him hangin'.
||Some screaming, a knifing, but nothing real bad.
||No, not really. It's a love story.
||A couple of cute spots.
||When Uncle Joe arrives at Finn's gallery opening, wearing
a tux with a ruffled shirt, and sort of messes things up.
||Ms. Dinsmoor takes young Finn's hand, places it over her
heart, and asks "What is this?" to which Finn replies
"Your..., your boob?"
Well, if my high school literature teacher
is in her grave, I'm sure she is spinning in it, and if she is
reading this, then I'm sure she is thinking, "Dude, I'm so
disappointed in you." Why? Because I honestly can't remember a damn
thing about Charles Dickens' novel "Great Expectations." Hoping to
bring back some long, lost, probably destroyed during college,
memories, I found myself in a theater watching the new movie, aptly
named, "Great Expectations," supposedly based on the book. Well, I
can honestly say the movie didn't stir up any flashbacks of high
school, or anything about the book for that matter, but it did help
support the ongoing theory that females are evil (except for maybe
the last, cheesy, 5ish minutes of the film).
A Movie Review
The story kind of goes like this: You've got this little kid,
Finnegan, call him Finn, Bell (Ethan Hawke), who's living with his
Uncle Joe and his uncle's girlfriend in Florida. They don't have much
dough because his uncle is a fisherman and the government put limits
on nets. One day he helps out a convict (Robert De Niro), but doesn't
tell anybody. Then, another day, he and his uncle go to this rich,
old, somewhat crazy lady's estate to, hmm, trim the bushes. Well, it
turns out the rich, old, somewhat crazy lady, Ms. Dinsmoor (Anne
Bancroft) didn't want her bushes trimmed after all, but instead uses
our hero, Finn, to entertain her niece, Estella (Gwyneth Paltrow)
every weekend while growing up. Finn loves Estella, but Ms. Dinsmoor
is raising Estella to break any guy's heart because it seems Ms.
Dinsmoor was dumped at the altar years ago (looking at her now, it
seems like a good call on the part of the guy who dumped her). Well,
Finn gets his heart broken and Estella bolts for college.
So, Finn settles into complacency fishing with his uncle for a few
years until a mysterious benefactor sends him to New York City to be
an artist (Finn's first love). There Finn hits the high life, and low
and behold runs into Estella. Now, being the typical guy, Finn didn't
learn his lesson and falls for Estella again, and guess what, the
bitch breaks his heart, again. Well, Finn has his big showing at the
gallery, finally finds out who his benefactor is, and returns to
Florida where the movie, well, lets just say that our boy Finn is now
facing strike three. And that's basically your story.
As I sat during "Great Expectations," I guess the feeling I got
was that the sensitive 90's dudes and romantic dudettes will probably
like this movie, but if you prefer explosions and gunfire, or you're
a biker chick, I would say to take your money elsewhere. This is a
movie that doesn't really offer you surprises. Come on, you've got a
love story between a girl and boy, who even the little boy says "I
think she's a snob," or something like that, and the old lady says
"She'll break your heart," meanwhile the dude keeps going back to
her. The fun for this movie comes in the lunacy that Ms. Dinsmoor
portrays, and in Robert De Niro's portrayal as the convict. Other
than that it's a love story about a guy, like most sensitive 90's
guys, that lets good looking women use them and throw their hearts
away like garbage.
So, is this a good movie? You know, I didn't come out of this film
disappointed, it was just about what I figured it would be, based on
the book or not. Ethan Hawke played well a sensitive dude who can
easily get his heart trampled, Gwyneth was fantastic as the hot
looking girl who can manipulate a guy, even if she probably does love
him, De Niro was, well, De Niro, and Bancroft played the rich, old,
somewhat crazy lady great. The movie was nothing ground-breaking, but
a good film.
So, from me, it's 3 stars out of 5 for "Great Expectations."
Nothing fantastic, nothing bad.
That's it for this one, I'm the Dude on the Right! L8R!!