The Darwin Awards
Movie Stats & Links
||David Arquette, Joseph Fiennes,
Winona Ryder, Juliette Lewis
Fox Home Entertainment
||Nah, being young
they might get the wrong idea of The Darwin Awards and think
they should win one.
||It's a nice movie
to cuddle on the couch and screen-talk about how stupid
people can be.
||There's some sex
and some nudity. Nice.
||Just seeing how
people are stupid.
laughs and chuckles.
||The "being safe in
the shower" scene.
Cool Things About the DVD
It's got some commentary and you should have a widescreen TV
to view it, but this is pretty much a "direct to DVD" DVD,
Someone mentioned to me that they saw the DVD "The Darwin
Awards" in the rental store and wondered if I saw it. I
told them I hadnít, but then saw it on my own and decided,
"What the hell, letís see if this movie sucks." It didnít
suck, but I can also see why it never made it to the
big screen, but maybe the film folks should have at least
given it a chance. Hereís the storyÖ
The Darwin Awards
A Movie/DVD Review
Most of you know the story of The Darwin Awards. These are
awards given every year to people who die in ways that are
pretty stupid when you think about it, or find themselves
unable to reproduce. Itís also a reference
to "survival of the fittest" signifying that maybe humanity
will thrive just a little bit more by losing these morons
early. Anyway, in the movie "The Darwin Awards" we get
Joseph Fiennes as Michael Burrows. Heís a police
investigator in San Francisco being taped for a documentary.
Heís also hemophobic (he faints at the site of blood). And
heís also obsessed with those who die or get injured in a
"Darwin Award" manner. Heís hot on the trail of a serial
killer but sadly the sight of blood causes him to faint and
the bad guy gets away. Disgraced and booted from the force,
Michael thinks he might find his next calling, working for an
insurance company in determining high risk cases for them,
or claims to deny based on the fact that the facts arenít
always what they seem, and now he is paired with Siri
(Winona Ryder), traveling the highways and byways of the
country debunking some insurance claims that on the surface
seem open and shut.
So Michael and Siri find a dude crushed by a vending
machine, a dude claiming someone stole his car, a missing
dude (and car) who just wanted to go fast and be on TV, and
all the while Michael is still obsessed with finding the
serial killer he let get away. And, oh yea, he falls for
Siri (but who wouldnít?).
I really wanted to like this movie, and as a DVD rental
itís good enough for a rental, but the problem is that since
we know what The Darwin Awards are, every time Michael and
Siri get to a new town to investigate an insurance loss,
ending of the loss is really no surprise. Itís pretty
obvious why the dude reported his truck stolen, most people
will be able to figure out the demise of the stoner dude at
the Metallica concert before it happens, the vending machine
death is a "Duh!", but the one adventure involving Harvey
(David Arquette), who couldnít seem to go fast enough for
his wife Joleen (Juliette Lewis), where you might actually
be sitting there watching the movie wondering what this
bonehead did to kill himself, is ruined because the
filmmakers gave it away at the opening of the movie. So much
for any mystery during this movie.
In the midst of the deaths is the budding relationship
between Michael and Siri, and the interruptions and
non-interruptions of the documentary filmmaker constantly
stating he canít get involved. The love story is cute
enough, but it is the quirkiness of Michael trying to not be
a Darwin story that makes things funny during this movie.
I love Wynona Ryder, and would stalk her if she wanted me
to, and she is just absolutely adorable in this movie.
Joseph Fiennes was great as the quirky detective now
obsessed with Darwin Award scenarios. But the underlying
problem with the movie was that there werenít any surprises.
In the end itís 3 stars out of 5 for "The Darwin Awards."
There are a couple of funny moments in the movie intertwined
with the deaths and shootings, but just please, remember, if
you are going to use your gun to pull your buddy from the
icy pond, make sure you unload the gun first.
Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!!