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Clerks II
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Rosario Dawson, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Trevor Fehrman, Jennifer Schwalbach Smith, Kevin Weisman
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: The Weinstein Company
Web Site:
Kiddie Movie: For the hope of mankind, please keep the kids at home :)
Date Movie: If she gets this type of humor.
Gratuitous Sex: Lots of talk and an almost boob shot.
Gratuitous Violence: Nah.
Action: Nah.
Laughs: Only if you can appreciate them.
Memorable Scene: One had me laughing uncontrollably.  I can't explain it.
Memorable Quote: There are way too many quotes that made me laugh.
Directed By: Kevin Smith
Produced By: Scott Mosier

Clerks II
A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - R

It's 1:38 Long

A Review by
The Dude on the Right
Hereís the problem I have with writing this review: If you didnít see "Clerks" because it was in black & white, saw "Jersey Girl" because you are a big J-Lo fan, or went to see "Dogma" because you heard it was an interesting take on religion but found yourself appalled when the good Cardinal Glick introduced "The Buddy Christ," I have no way to convince you to go and see "Clerks II" because the only way to do so would be to give away too many of the jokes. And then you still might not go see it because if I gave one of the jokes away, one that I nearly ended up rolling on the floor with laughter, you might wonder what was wrong with me, and tell me I need sensitivity training, and not my niece (this might sound cryptic, but if you are one of our podcast subscribers, you might understand). In any case, letís at least start with the a quick look at the storyÖ

Dante (Brian OíHalloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson) are back. Sadly for Dante, well, Randal left the coffeepot on again at the Quick Stop and a fire ensued, leaving our duo working at the local Moobyís fast-food joint. Dante, though, has found love in the likes of Emma (Jennifer Schwalbach), and she has set him up with what will be a new house, a better job, and no more New Jersey if Dante marries her and moves near her parents down in Florida. Randal is none too pleased with Danteís plans for advancement, especially since he loses his best friend in the process. Meanwhile, Jay (Jason Mewes), sporting a way-cool "got Christ" t-shirt, and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith), back from rehab, find themselves now camped outside the Mooby restaurant, still selling pot, with Silent Bob trying to keep Jay from being bored so he doesnít stray back to the world of getting high on his own supply.

With that simple story synopsis you might think Danteís life is finally on the right track, or at least on a track to get him to be a grown-up, but enter Becky (the ever-cute Rosario Dawson). Sheís the manager of the Moobyís. Randal suspects something more is going on between Dante and Becky, but both of them keep insisting they are just "good friends." And then all of the stories come out in the open: Emma is none-too pleased with what she finds out; Kinky Kelly and a donkey, well; Elias (Trevor Fehrman), a co-worker at Moobyís obsessed with "The Lord of the Rings" and the upcoming "Transformers" movie (although I still canít understand all of the slams about "Transformers" because that was one of the best television cartoon seriesí in the late eighties, but Iím sorry, I digress), Elias also, is involved with a Ďwellí-moment; And well, all of a sudden Dante realizes he called 9-1-1 and forgot to cancel the alarm. It is now time for enlightening thoughts about love, friendship, slight wealth, and who gets in how much trouble when donkey love is arrested.

That story synopsis might sound slightly convoluted, but for those of you who are Kevin Smith fans and havenít seen the movie yet, I think most of it makes sense. But I will say this, "Clerks II" is not for the easily offended, whether it is about sex talk, politically incorrect talk, and sex talk. Yup, thatís right, I said "sex talk" twice, because there is a lot of it in this film, and most of it funny if you arenít uptight.

This movie might not be everyoneís cup of tea, but it is definitely my cup of tea. It mixes my life in the land of the easily amused with the life of someone who loves a great argument about which is better, "Star Wars" or "The Lord of the Rings," (Iím on the "Star Warsí" side), even though I am looking forward to the "Transformers" movie, for reasons I canít go into here.

I absolutely loved this movie, even with the sentimental stuff that creeped in, mostly because it worked all-around, and Jay was there to break up the sentimental with the funny. Some might not like the sentimental, but a lot of us have grown since the original "Clerks" came out some twelve years ago. Sometimes our heroes from twelve years ago have to grow up, too. Just not too much, thank Alanis.

For me itís 5 stars out of 5. One scene alone was worth 3 Ĺ stars because I havenít been able to stop laughing that much during a movie in a long time, and the rest was just gravy. I only have a couple of regrets about this movie: One is that I failed to major in "Speed-Reading" in college because towards the end of the credits there seemed to be a lot of funny "Thank Youís" that I missed (I suppose Iíll have to wait for the DVD and put it in "slow-motion" to catch them all) as they scrolled by; The other is that I never set up a MySpace page and added myself as a friend of "Clerks II" so I could be listed in the credits of a major motion picture. It would have been pretty cool to see "The Dude on the Right," or maybe "Entertainment Ave!", or maybe "", or maybe "", or maybe Andrew LaXXX. In any case, it would have been cool to actually wait through all of the credit and see my MySpace name scrolling through. I canít believe I didnít pay enough attention to setting up a MySpace page, and getting it linked to "Clerks II." Even my sister, and my niece, have a MySpace page.

Enough lamenting, if you want funny, and arenít easily offended, see this Alanis Damn Movie!

Thatís it for this one! Iím The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!


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