The Blair Witch Project

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:20 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Blair Witch Project
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Heather Donahue, Michael C. Williams, Joshua Leonard
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Artisan Entertainment
Release Date: 1999
Kiddie Movie: No way.
Date Movie: She might get scared, or just wonder what the fuss is about.
Gratuitous Sex: I might have liked the movie more had Heather gotten naked.
Gratuitous Violence: Implied.
Action: Lots of running through the woods.
Laughs: Mostly at just how stupid our three characters are.
Memorable Scene: None.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Daniel Myrich, Eduardo Sanchez

As I came out of “The Blair Witch Project” the first thought that came to my head was that these three kids deserved to die. I’m going to give some spoilers, but you know what, I don’t care. Things bugged me a lot about this movie. Things like where is this magical river that goes in a circle, at least that must be the case because our weary travelers, once lost, decided to follow a river and ended up where they started. Also, who taught these people how to read a compass? Let’s see, it points north, and if we keep walking east, well, we end up going, well, seemingly not east. There are countless other things that bugged me, but in the end what bugged me the most was that this movie isn’t as scary as everyone says, at least not to me. Just different.

“The Blair Witch Project” tells the fictional documentary of two dudes and a chick who got lost in the woods and only their film footage was found. It takes us through their interviewing people about the mythical Blair Witch and then through their scary adventures in the woods where none of these city folk should ever go. They get lost, throw away the map, can’t read a compass, follow the circular river, run through the woods at night without running into a tree, and the end of the footage shows a dude facing the corner in the basement (just like the legend says – a lot of people leaving the theater seemed to miss this part of the movie, confused why the dude was standing in the corner), screams ensue, and the camera falls to the ground. And as one dude sitting next to me said “That’s it?” That was it.

I can see why so many critics love this movie. It is different and had the pre-publicity as being totally scary and inventive, especially for the $60,000, no wait, $40,000, no wait, $10,000, no wait, $80,000, no wait, who the hell really knows how much it cost to make this film. But the scariest movie ever? I don’t think so. For me it was just different.

I’ll give the publicity machine credit for this movie because once some words got out, well, everyone had to see it. I don’t know who was giving this movie the buzz it got, but it sure didn’t seem to be the likes of the people leaving the theater I was at.

Different. Yeah. Scary. No. And Trash thinks it was the chick who killed the boys. Here comes the sequel.

With that I give “The Blair Witch Project” 1 ½ stars out of 5. I just didn’t find it that good.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!