The Dude on the Right simply has this advice during his review of “Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay,” and that is if you were a fan of the “White Castle” version you will probably enjoy our two stoners next adventure. However, if you thought that movie was a giant piece of crap, “Guantanamo” will probably surpass it on your crapness scale.
Author: Andy Labis
What’s New? A Podcast of: Lee Elia Rants, Carly Smithson is Booted, and RIP Kenneth Keith Kallenbach.
After hearing about the passing of Kenneth Keith Kallenback during The Howard Stern Show this morning, The Dude on the Right realized he actually has a “blowing smoke through his eyes” story, and doesn’t do his best to tell the tale during this podcast. He does, though, warn you as you are listening that you might want to watch your podcast volume during his visiting of the Lee Elia tirade about Chicago Cubs’ fans. The Dude is also happy TV is back in full bloom, happy that Carly Smithson is finally off “American Idol,” and is looking forward to seeing Neil Diamond as the A.I. mentor next week.
Lee Elia Rants, Carly Smithson is Booted, and RIP Kenneth Keith Kallenbach.
By:
The Dude on the Right
In Chicago Cubs’ lore there are many things that tickle the fancy of Cubs’
historians, but as the 25th anniversary of Lee Elia going ballistic approaches,
I give a salute
during this podcast to the fact that 15% of those without jobs pissed off
Lee just enough so that he gave us some of the sweetest audio ever. A word
of warning, though, because my salute is uncensored, with no bleeping, with all
of the f-bombs in full glory. And as much as Lee was a master of words, it
seems Carly Smithson wasn’t the master of music because she got booted from
"American Idol," and I have to say I’m not that sorry to see her go. What
is exciting me, though, is that next week we get to see five people butcher Neil
Diamond songs, while I’m just hoping that he actually tries to teach some of
these people to be performers.
TV is back in full bloom and "Lost" returns,
again, Harold and Kumar escape from Guantanamo Bay this weekend, and I actually
have a Kenneth Keith Kallenbach story, he a wack-pack member of The Howard Stern
Show. R.I.P. Dude who could blow smoke out of your eyes.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!
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It is Andrew Lloyd Webber Week. Shouldn’t We Be Paying Attention to the Pennsylvania Election Results?
By:
The Dude on the Right
So as a good American I suppose I should probably be hunkered down watching the
Pennsylvania Primary Results to see if Hillary Clinton somehow pulls out a
chance to solidly beat Barack Obama if only to further confuse who will be the
Democratic nominee for President, but, dammit, it is Tuesday night, it is
"American Idol" night, and there is more important voting going on in just about
an hour. Sure, it is Andrew Lloyd Webber Week for A.I., and Andrew Lloyd
Webber is fantastic, legendary, a mega-force when it comes to musicals, and
fine, I’ll admit it, I’m a fan of "Jesus Christ Superstar" and "Cats."
Hell, I even saw "Cats" on Broadway back in 1985, although part of it is blurry
as we took a high school bus ride from Ohio to New York City, and since I can’t
sleep on moving transportation and "Cats" was the first play we saw out there
the evening we arrived, let’s just say I was nodding off during part of it, at
least I think so. Man, some of those memories are blurry now, and unless
my mind is really messed up, we also saw "Noises Off" out there, which I can
still watch today and laugh my ass off if done even close to right. But I
digress.
So as much as I do appreciate the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber, maybe
the "American Idol" folks realize no one there has the personality/performance
quality to make it as a pop singer so they’re trying to see if they can make
some money with them on the Broadway stage. Maybe Andrew Lloyd Webber will
actually get these shlubs to be performers, but I’m still praying for "Bruce
Springsteen Week" when he can teach this group about performing, and then Artie
Lange from The Howard Stern Show, now that he reneged on his resignation, will
have to answer to this equation: Bruce Springsteen + American Idol = Ball
Shocking.
Enough reminiscing, enough praying, let’s see how our last six folks
sing…
Syesha Mercado
– Sings – "One Rock ‘n Roll Too Many"
– My prediction is that even though she sings nice enough, and she is trying to
perform it as if she were on stage, she’s the first singer of the night and only
her diehard fans will stick by and vote for her. Sadly, or maybe happily,
she has shown she will be able to make it on Broadway, just not the pop/Idol
scene.
Jason Castro
– Sings – "Memory"
– This is not a song for "laid-back"-ness, which Jason Castro is all
about. The thing is that people who know the song (like me), will probably
think it sucked, but fans who have no concept of the song might actually love
it. He needed to hit the "Jesus Christ Superstar" soundtrack and become
Jesus, rather than singing anything from "Cats." Horrible song choice.
Brook White
– Sings – "You Must Love Me"
– Does "forgetting the song" lend her to the bottom of the pack? Does
singing a Madonna song save her? Once she got over forgetting the lyrics
she did okay, but the performance aspect waivered. Paula seemed crushed,
Simon was correct about the stopping thing, and now we will see how strong her
fan base really is.
David
Archuleta
– Sings – "Think of Me", I think.
– So Andrew Lloyd Webber gave David the best bit of advice ever – to open his
eyes, and yet he can’t. I guess he’s a squinty dude who can sing well, but
still lacks the performance skills because if the dude just approached the front
of the stage, worked the girls in the front row, he would have shown everyone
that he is better than just a good singer. Simon again is correct.
David has to break out his shell and be a performer – quit standing in the
center of the stage.
Carly Smithson
– Sings – "Superstar"
– This song fits in her wheelhouse, but there is still something about her that
makes her "over-the-top" for the show. She still shouts too much, she
still seems to have this attitude of "I deserve to win this," and this song was
probably a better choice for her, even though I still didn’t like it that much.
David Cook
– Sings "Music of the Night"
– Yea, fine, you could be on Broadway, too. You will probably stick
around for another week, and at least you seem to try and work the crowd a bit,
but you have shown that there isn’t a pop-idol in this group.
Let’s wrap this up…
Great, this week has shown that we’ve got six people who could probably be on
Broadway, but not one of them has shown that they have the star power to be a
pop singer. Sorry, but I really don’t care that much about these people
anymore. We don’t need Mariah, we don’t need Broadway, now we just need to
see if these people can perform, and as I have been re-iterating from week to
week, we really need a performing mentor for these folks.
That’s it for this one!
I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!
What’s New? A Podcast of: Movie Talk, Artie Lange Talk, End of the World Talk, “Survivor” Talk, and more Talk.
The Dude on the Right is flying solo for this “Weekend Wrap-Up!” podcast, mostly because of his own fault, but he still tries to blame Stu Gotz a bit even while he talks about penis and “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” The Dude also talks some martial arts with the movie “The Forbidden Kingdom,” how he is happy Artie Lange is back on The Howard Stern Show,” that the end of the world is coming, and last week might have been the best tribal council on “Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites.” The Dude also gives his tribute, sort of, to Pope Benedict coming to the United States of America.
Movie Talk, Artie Lange Talk, End of the World Talk, “Survivor” Talk, and more Talk.
By:
The Dude on the Right
It’s mostly my fault that Stu isn’t here for
our "Weekend Wrap-Up!" podcast, but as it turns out I’ve got a lot to talk
about. I discuss male nudity thanks to the movie
"Forgetting Sarah Marshall," I discuss the convergence of two Martial Arts
stars thanks to
"The Forbidden Kingdom," and I am happy that Artie Lange is back on
The Howard Stern Show
after his fake tirade, set up just to give all of us fans a cliffhanger before
the Stern Show went on vacation for a week. I’m just kidding. I
don’t care what anyone says because I think the fight with Teddy Microphone was
real, that it was a damn good thing Artie didn’t actually hit Teddy, and why am
I telling you all of this when you should be listening to the podcast?
I also
think the end of the world might be near, what with an earthquake here in the
Midwest and the Chicago Cubs and Chicago White Sox now in first place (Come on
Cleveland Indians, get your act together!), and thought Ozzie getting booted
from "Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites" might have been the best tribal council ever
last week.
See, I told you I have a lot to talk about.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!
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At First I Wondered “What Was I Thinking?” An Hourish Later My Legs Weren’t Screaming “Frack!”
By:
The Dude on the Right
Today was one of those weird days when I had everything planned. My normal
morning routine would easily be in place, complete with starting laundry,
reading the Sunday Chicago Tribune while eating breakfast, and, at the same
time, catching up some some TiVo viewing. Okay, I realized I still can’t
seem to get recording the new "Battlestar Galactica" correct, muttered "What the
frack!", then tried to set up a season pass I screwed up before, hoping it
didn’t miss this week’s episode forever, or at least until the DVD season comes
out.
But
my Sunday also had a lot of errand-running planned, which, I know, is kind of
lame, but the Sunday also had planned a one hour walk in my favorite
Springbrook
Prairie Forest Preserve. I was sort of curious to see how things were
looking after they
torched the place a few weeks back, except with a slight wind blowing from
the northwest I knew heading north would make my walk back a little easier so I
wouldn’t get to see the result of the torchness. And I’m walking, and I’m
walking, and I get to the thirty minute mark and realize that I’m feeling good,
my legs feel spry, I’ve got over half a bottle of water left, and I say to
myself, "Self, why don’t you just do the entire loop? Why turn back now?"
Then I said to myself, "Self, What the hell are you thinking? Do you
realize that it will add another hour to this walk and your Sunday is already
scripted." Then I said to myself, "Self, it’s a gorgeous day, with a
slight breeze, and it hasn’t started to heat up yet." Then I said to
myself "Self, shut the hell up. We’re going for the six miles." Yes,
I’m nuts.
And so I did my first six-mile walk of the year and it felt great.
I mean, my legs didn’t get fatigued, I planned my water drinking properly, and
it was actually more refreshing walking into the slight breeze on the backside
of the loop than letting the breeze bring me home. I also got to see that
the crispy prairie was starting to turn green, the recent warm weather has
instantly put trees into budding mode, and sure, there might be one more cold
snap, or a crappy day or five here, but it looks like we have really, finally,
turned the corner into the Spring and Summer season.
And
also and, the walk was not perfect because there was one miscalculation,
especially since my original plan didn’t include a six mile, one hour and fifty
minute walk, and that was I was wearing jeans.
I woke up this morning, didn’t get myself a gun, didn’t figure for the six
mile walk, and haven’t put myself back into "shorts mode" yet, so I pulled on my
Levi’s, put on a t-shirt, embraced the subtle, slight chill in the air, not
thinking that less than two hours later I would be a little sweatier than I
planned, had people on the trail looking at me like "What the hell is that dude
wearing jeans for?", but you know what, at the end of it all, I got to see some
deer frolicking in the prairie, and sure, you can’t see the mallard in the upper
picture of the pond but I did (I so have to bring my better camera gear), and
the burnt prairie is starting to sprout grass.
So what if my running errands
were bumped by about an hour. So what if I was the dork wearing jeans on a
six mile walk. And so what if my iPhone photos aren’t up to my normal
standard. It was a beautiful day, it was great to enjoy it, and it’s
almost time to get my white, pasty legs in some shorts.
That’s it for this one!
I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!
What’s New? A Movie Review of “The Forbidden Kingdom”
The Dude on the Right couldn’t come up with a star-rating after he saw "The Forbidden Kingdom," so he let his movie review lead him to his final ranking. The thing is that he liked the comedy in the movie, especially with the interaction between Jet Li and Jackie Chan, but then the movie tried to be a more serious kung-fu flick. He also couldn’t figure out if they were making it for kids to go and see (damn that Monkey King), or for martial art’s fans. The Dude is so confused.
What’s New? A Movie Review of “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”
The Dude on the Right couldn’t pull the trigger and give “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” 5 stars during his movie review because it almost seemed the film folks were trying to appease the females with some full-frontal, male, wiener, and the fact that the photo of Mila Kunis’ was probably a body-double of her boobies. He did find the movie funny as hell, in that Judd Apatow kind of way, so if you are a fan of any of the trio of “The 40 Year Old Virgin,” “Knocked Up,” or “Superbad,” you will probably laugh your ass off during “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” The Dude liked it so much he almost might see it again.
What’s New? A Podcast of: Kristy, Priscilla, and a Cougar are Gone. But Not Google.
The Dude on the Right is in a lamenting mood for this podcast. First he’s sad that Kristy Lee Cook got booted from “American Idol,” then he really doesn’t care that Priscilla Presley got booted but is still sad that Adam Corolla was knocked out of “Dancing With the Stars” competition, he is a little torn that a cougar got shot to death in Chicago, but what makes him most sad is that Google profits makes him remember that he could be worth about $50 million bucks.