entertainment ave!

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:55 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

How’s this for a fancy reviewer line for “Deep Impact”: “Deep Impact” is one of the most predictable, emotional, roller-coaster rides I have seen on the big screen since “Titanic.” Alright, maybe it isn’t the greatest line, but “Deep Impact” was predictable, hell, it was about Earth being hit by an asteroid (and we know that happens from the trailers), and it was emotional (I did find myself anxious for the astronauts trying to blow the big space rock up, and welling up a little as people were saying goodbye). But I guess comparing it too “Titanic” is a little much – as predictable and somewhat emotional, it wasn’t that good, mostly maybe, for me, because of the stupidity of everyone one Earth who died (except the, well, people who had to).

Well, you know what the movie is about – a big asteroid is heading for Earth – what are we to do? In the case of this group of Earthlings, we don’t seem to do much. In any case, let’s start at the beginning. Tea Leoni stars as Jenny Lerner, an up-and-coming newsperson who is trying to make her way up the newsperson ladder. She stumbles on a seeming sex-scandal story in Washington D.C. (oh, like this is topical anymore?). In any case, she’s ready to blow the story open, but in a secret meeting with President Beck (Morgan Freeman), he convinces her to hold off for a couple of days. Get this – she does. Well, the story comes out that it isn’t a sex scandal, but an asteroid is heading for Earth.

Alright, I can buy it so far, and at this point there’s about a year left before the asteroid hits, and the government has a plan – send a spaceship with some astronauts to land on the asteroid and blow it up before it hits. Sounds good to me, and it’s ten months till our astronauts make it there, but our newsgirl Jenny asks something like “What if that doesn’t work.” “Don’t worry,” says the Prez, “It will.” Guess what, it doesn’t.

Alright, plan number two, lets shove a bunch of people in a cave for a couple of years. So, with that, we have the impending end of life as we know it, and our story has turned from an adventure film of blowing up an asteroid, to people planning their end. You get your typical “I’m not leaving you, I’d rather die with you than live without you” scenes, you’ve got some scenes of looting and stuff, and you’ve got people being airlifted to the big cave. Then we get some heroes, a big tidal wave, cities being wiped out, and people surviving. In the end, a nice film, but what was wrong?

I’ll pose what was wrong by asking a few questions. One, you’ve got about a year until a big asteroid is going to wipe out most of life on Earth for about two years – what do you do? We sort of used to ask this question back in college, but instead of a year, you had about 20 minutes because Russia was launching some nukes. Our solutions back then – drink heavily, head for the roof, and catch one mean old suntan, or head to the girls residence hall and say “Hey baby, the world is going to end in 20 minutes. How about you and I end it with a bang!” Some guys actually tried the latter, without the imminent threat of nuclear war, and usually ended up being slapped. But, what if you had a year? Would you trust your survival on the hopes the government could get something right on the first try? I doubt it. Me, I’d be digging a cave of my own, and stocking up on the essentials, things like beer, “Twinkies,” matches, and toilet paper.

Alright, I’ve got a head start on everyone else on my asteroid shelter, but problem number two – why was anyone still living on a coast, other than some ambitious surfer dudes and dudettes, when there were two months from the time of knowing the astronauts screwed up, and the time the asteroid would hit the earth. Hmm, Earth is a whole bunch more water than land, and if the asteroid hits that water it will create one gnarly wave most likely to reach into, like Ohio on the east coast, and maybe like Utah on the west – I’m staying in New York City and hoping the asteroid hits the Pacific. Come on, move your butt to someplace nice and cozy, someplace like the midwest. As sad as it sort of was, all those people being washed away to sea on the east coast, I say too bad – you should have moved.

“Alright, Dude, that can’t be everything bad with the movie, you said it wasn’t that good.” True, there were a bunch more flaws in human nature in “Deep Impact,” but I guess the end problem in the movie, short of a few good performances, and a couple of cool scenes, was that the movie lacked the consistency in both from beginning to end. Don’t get me wrong, the movie is pretty entertaining, but in these days of standards being pushed to another level, pretty entertaining becomes just another movie, even if millions of people died (I will say it again – they were stupid).

So, I did like “Deep Impact,” even with the stupid people, but in the end there were too many scenes of not great acting, too many scenes of total predictability, and too many scenes, well, maybe too many intertwined story lines – you had the astronauts, the newsgirl, the kid who found the comet and his chick, families in turmoil, and oh yea, a big ol’ asteroid. It was just too much.

I’ll give “Deep Impact” 3 out of 5 stars. It was good, not great, and it might even bring a tear to your eye.

That’s it for this one, I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 2:14 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

Even though I’m not really sure about the story, I do know it’s based on a Stephen King novel and that’s usually good enough for me to go and see the film. The trailer seems to show some dudes who have some weird powers, out on a hunting trip in a blizzard. Then let’s throw in some alien invasion where Morgan Freeman is hell-bent on making sure the aliens get killed, even if it means killing everyone inside the perimeter.

In any case “Dreamcatcher” looks like a good suspense film, with some horror, action, and violence. I’m just hoping it get an R rating meaning the horror, action, and violence are at the level they should be.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:41 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

I suppose if you give a character played by Jim Carrey the powers of God then there must be some kind of moral lesson given by the time the end of the movie comes around. Such is the price you pay in “Bruce Almighty,” the triumphant return of Jim Carrey playing a character Jim Carrey should play.

In “Bruce Almighty” Bruce (Carrey) is having a bad day. He’s a TV reporter relegated to the feel-good stories in Buffalo. He wants the anchor position that is opening up, and when he doesn’t get it, finding out on a live shot from Niagara Falls, he loses it on air. So Bruce gets pissed at God, and God, deciding he wants a little break, gives Bruce his powers to do as he pleases. What’s a man like Bruce to do? Well, being the selfish guy he is, Bruce toilet trains his dog, gives his girlfriend, Grace (Jennifer Aniston), bigger boobs, makes the new anchorman talk goofily, and decides it would be easier to just grant everyone’s prayers than actually hear what they are saying, the latter resulting in an uproar because everyone wins the lottery, and with everyone splitting the pot, well, the couple of dollar payoff given over 20 years just doesn’t seem like a win.

So Bruce has the power of God yet his life remains incomplete, mostly because he’s still a selfish prick. Now it’s time for the fun to end and Bruce to learn that being God isn’t as easy as it seems, and that maybe Bruce should look past himself and see that his actions affect a lot of people’s lives. It’s time for Bruce to learn his lesson, let God take back his powers, and live his life to make others happy.

Carrey has come a long way since the “Ace Ventura” days, showed he can tackle some real acting jobs, but the success of “Bruce Almighty” will show that the public isn’t looking for Jim Carrey as the serious actor because he is just so much better on the comedic side. Maybe sometimes it’s better to know your niche and stick with it, although I suppose it’s always okay to try something new every now and then. I thought Carrey was great playing Andy Kaufman, and did a fabulous job in “The Truman Show,” but most people didn’t care. His fans want comedy, and comedy he gives, and as talented as he is, you just can’t get enough of him talking out of his butt or giving his girlfriend bigger boobs. Carrey’s back where he belongs, in comedy, and it’s 4 stars out of 5 for “Bruce Almighty.” And, oh yea, as great as Jim Carrey is in this movie, I must mention the dog – he nearly steals the show.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 1:37 Long
A Preview by:
- The Dude on the Right

You know what? Chicken Butt! Actually, though, when I saw the trailer for “The Bucket List,” I found a film I think I am really looking forward to seeing, and I’m guessing I will cry during it. Hell, the trailer nearly made me weepy.

The story basically goes that Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman play two dudes on their way to die. The thing is they both have a list of things they always wanted to do before they “kicked the bucket,” and Edward (Jack) has the money to make the things on the list happen, but Carter (Morgan), has the “down-to-Earth” person-ess to get Edward to remember, and reunite, with the family he has lost.

This movie has two fabulous actors in roles, namely Jack Nickolson and Morgan Freeman, so how can you ever count them out in a movie, especially together, and the trailer looks like they meld together very well. And then you have the tear-jerker story of two dudes facing their deaths and being able to realize dreams of what they always wanted to do.

I can probably already say that I will laugh, I will cry, and I will love this movie, just from the trailer. I hope the movie lives up to the trailer.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:43 Long
A Review by:
- The Dude on the Right

Sometimes you go and see a movie and you leave going “Hmm, that was a pretty good movie.” Not “Wow,” not “Oh my God,” just “Hmm.” Such was the case of “Along Came a Spider” for me.

After seeing a series of movies that showed I’m too easily amused, it was good to see a movie that I could appreciate for just being a good action/drama. “Along Came a Spider” teams Morgan Freeman as Alex Cross, a good investigator brooding about the loss of his partner, with Monica Potter as Jezzie Flannigan, a secret service agent that let the girl she was protecting get kidnapped. Alex wouldn’t have anything to do with the kidnapping except that the kidnapper brings him in by leaving him some clues. And so the chase is on. Alex takes Jezzie under his wing because she feels like she screwed up but Alex sees her as a valuable ally because she could help profile the kidnapper (it was the teacher at the school where the little girl went – don’t worry, I’m not giving any important plot points away, this is part of the story).

Not the greatest of suspense films, there have been better, but “Along Came a Spider” does a good job of leading you through Alex’s investigative process and the relationship he develops with Jezzie. But the movie does have some flaws, like some too obvious foreshadowing of a couple of plot points, although also does a great job of mixing up how you might perceive the movie to end.

I can’t go into the story much more without giving too many things away. Freeman does a great job as Alex Cross, trying to put the pieces together, and Potter is good as the innocent secret service agent, but there is some lack of thrill that had it been there, it could have gone right up there with some of the great movies of this type. This one ends up being just a “Hmm, that was a pretty good movie” and with that a “Hmm” movie gets 3 stars out of 5 from me. Even so, if you’re looking for a nice thriller, go see “Along With a Spider” and you’ll get a “Hmm” too, or maybe a little better.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!