The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course

MPAA Rated – PG
It’s 1:30 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

The Crocodile Hunter:
Collision Course
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Steve Irwin, Terri Irwin
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: MGM
Release Date: 2002
Kiddie Movie: A little scary, but it’s really for them.
Date Movie: Only if she is a huge Crocodile Hunter fan.
Gratuitous Sex: Nope.
Gratuitous Violence: Animals chomping at things and Steve fighting off the bad guys.
Action: Chasing animals.
Laughs: There are some.
Memorable Scene: Nothing really stands out.
Memorable Quote: “I think the binoculars just picked up The Discovery Channel!”
Directed By: Johns Stainton

I enjoy getting my Crocodile Hunter fix every now and then – watching Steve and Terri Irwin travel the world in search of neat animals and always being “this” close to getting a lethal dose of venom from a snake or spider, or “this” close from getting a limb torn off by a ferocious crocodile, and I was a little curious as to how they would transform this phenomenon into a full-fledged movie. It turns out they didn’t. Sure, the movie is an hour and a half long, so that makes it a movie, but “The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course” is a weird movie to watch, and this will be a little hard to explain.

First, there is a movie with a plot going on. It’s a bad movie with bad acting about a piece of a satellite that crashed in Australia. One government agency wants to show-up the other government agency by getting the piece back first. Oddly enough a crocodile eats this satellite piece, making it hard for the agents to find. All along, this crocodile keeps terrorizing a grumpy rancher lady who keeps trying to shoot it because the croc keeps eating her cattle. So you’ve got a movie going on. Enter the Crocodile Hunter. Now we get what might as well be clips of the television show because instead of Steve and Terri acting how they are saving a kangaroo, a snake, a spider, etc., nope, we get Steve narrating to the camera how dangerous the snake and spider are, and how they hope to save the kangaroo, just like the T.V. show. Now switch back to the movie plot, now switch back to the T.V. show, now switch back to the movie plot, etc.

Finally the Irwins are mixed into the movie plot when they are called in to move the crocodile to a location it won’t be attacking any cattle. Now the agents think the Crocodile Hunter is some crazy spy because the tracking beacon in the satellite piece shows Steve and Terri have the piece, when it’s actually still in the crocodile they are moving, and Steve and Terri think the agents are poachers trying to kill the crocodile. Ha, Ha!

The wrong thing with this movie is the movie plot, and how all they do is basically intermix the Crocodile Hunter T.V. show with the plot. It doesn’t work. They could have probably tried to just have an hour and a half movie version of the T.V. show, but would we pay for that when we can get it on cable? In the end, the kids in the audience did seem to enjoy the movie, maybe because they can just forget the dumb movie and enjoy Steve Irwin being the Crocodile Hunter. I couldn’t.

For the kid fans of the Crocodile Hunter, this is probably a 3 ½ star movie, but for adults, or at least me, it’s around 1 ½ stars. Let’s average those together and give it 2 ½ stars out of 5. You can probably wait for cable on this one, or wait, just go ahead and watch his show on cable.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!