Enemy at the Gates

MPAA Rated – R
It’s 2:11 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Enemy at the Gates
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jude Law, Ed Harris, Joseph Fiennes, Rachel Weisz
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Release Date: 2001
Directed By: Jean-Jacques Annaud

My only hope is that this movie doesn’t try to get too artsy. The basics of the story is about two snipers, Jude Law and Ed Harris. One is confident the other is kinda scared. One is set on his job the other is falling in love. The trailers show a good drama, some lovey-dovey stuff, and some quality war stuff to there is a lot of potential, but, well, the movie is looking to cinematographic so I’ll probably go see it although still be a little hesitant.

That’s it for this preview! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!


MPAA Rated – R
It’s 1:37 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jude Law
MPAA Rated: R
Released By: Dimension Home Video
Release Date: 1999
Kiddie Movie: Oh no, I don’t think so.
Date Movie: She might get scared and snuggle a little closer, or she might just go “Huh? This movie sucks.”
Gratuitous Sex: Almost, but not quite.
Gratuitous Violence: Yea, some pretty good violence, especially with the organic gun.
Action: Some.
Laughs: Not really.
Memorable Scene: Most of the movie had me thinkin’.
Memorable Quote: None that stand out.
Directed By: David Cronenberg

“eXistenZ” is one of those movies that you probably didn’t see in the theater and might pass up on the video shelf saying “I haven’t heard of that one. Let’s find “The Matrix.” It didn’t have the hype and is not the high-packed, action-filled, blast your senses movie like “The Matrix,” but if you like the psychological twistedness of “The Matrix” I urge you to rent “eXistenZ.” It’s kinda like “The Matrix” without all of the gunfire.

“eXistenZ” is a virtual reality game, but taking it to the next level. In this world, or one of the worlds, you plug this living game pod into a computer-like port in your spine. This puts you in a sort of trance in which you, in conjunction with the other players who are hooked up to the pod, become an actual part of the game, almost like a dream with multiple players controlling the outcome. We are introduced to the game designer, or is she(?), Allegra Geller (Jennifer Jason Leigh), who is on the run from game manufacturers set on seeing that eXistenZ doesn’t make it to market. Her protection is supplied by Ted Pikul (Jude Law), about the only dude on the planet who doesn’t have a game port and who really isn’t a security guard. But, Allegra needs to see if her game is damaged so she plugs up Ted and they enter the game, where reality and imagination meld into one, and get lost in it.

This movie is so multi-layered that going into it more might just ruin it more for you, but I’ll just say that it’s got gross-you-out scenes, it’s got some quality violence, it’s got some steamy moments, and you’ll wonder throughout the movie just what scene is reality and what is part of the game.

Like “The Matrix,” I came to the end of “eXistenZ” saying something like “Whoa, that was fucked up,” and I was pleased. But if or when the future of computer games comes to the point of something like eXistenZ I’m scared. It’s just too fucked up.

4 ½ stars out of 5. This movie was most excellent. Rent it.

That’s it for this one, I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!

A.I. Artificial Intelligence

MPAA Rated – PG-13
It’s 2:25 Long
A Review by:
The Dude on the Right

A.I. Artificial Intelligence
Movie Stats & Links
Starring: Haley Joel Osment, Jude Law, Frances O’Connor, Sam Robards, William Hurt
MPAA Rated: PG-13
Released By: Warner Bros/Dreamworks Pictures
Kiddie Movie: Leave them at home.
Date Movie: She might get weepy.
Gratuitous Sex: Lots of innuendos and talk.
Gratuitous Violence: Robots get disintegrated.
Action: Not really but some chase scenes.
Laughs: Thanks to Teddy.
Memorable Scene: When David find The Blue Fairy. They should have left the film there.
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Steven Spielberg
Produced By: Kathleen Kennedy, Steven Spielberg, Bonnie Curtis

I said in my preview that “A.I. Artificial Intelligence” looked to be a great family film. I’ll tell you what, leave most of the family at home because this ain’t no “E.T.”

“A.I.” is a great showing of filmmaking, and you would think that combining the likes of great filmmakers like Stanley Kubrick, who started the development of this film, and Steven Spielberg who is, well, Steven Spielberg, that this film couldn’t go wrong. For me it went wrong, I guess, because Stanley Kubrick isn’t Steven Spielberg and Steven Spielberg isn’t Stanley Kubrick. Kubrick had a knack for turning a nightmare into a twisted reality, Spielberg is best at making a dream a reality, and this movie would have been better as a nightmare or as a dream, but not both which seems to be what Spielberg ended up trying to do.

In “A.I.” we get a future where you just can’t get pregnant willy-nilly. Robots have become commonplace, especially for sex, but our robot maker thinks that the next best thing is to make a child who can love, basically a child for all of the families that can’t have a child. He develops David (Haley Joel Osment) and gives him to the first test-family, Monica (Frances O’Connor) and Henry (Sam Robards), a family whose own son is in frozen hibernation until a cure can be found for his illness. At first Monica is skeptical, but eventually she activates David to be able to love. She begins to love David, even though he is a robot, but then, low and behold, her son gets a cure and now Martin, Monica and Henry’s biological son, comes home. Yea, you can guess, things get a little tense as Martin and David vie for attention, but Martin has the upper hand because he is human and can figure how to manipulate a robot.

After a few things go wrong on the David front, well, Monica decides it’s time for David to go, but she won’t return him to his builders for fear he might get destroyed. So she leaves him to fend for himself in the forest. It is here, after finding Gigolo Joe (Jude Law) – he’s a sex robot on the run, that David starts to see what he is, but he wants to be a real boy, like in the Pinocchio story which Martin made Monica read to them, and begins his quest to find the Blue Fairy. Not to give anything more away, well, let’s leave the story at that.

But here’s the problem – “A.I” deals with dreams and nightmares, and a movie trying to be both. I think this movie needed to be a nightmare to work, instead, Spielberg tried to turn it into a dream.

Why do I say that? I guess because, in the end, this movie shows that David would always be a robot and that is the nightmare, while Spielberg tries to make it a dream instead. David finds Gigolo Joe, who, in a way, is a much smarter robot than David, and is introduced into a world of sex and no answers. David finds a dark world, still searching how to be a real boy so he can really be loved by Monica, and sadly, even thinking he found it, well, he can’t find it (not like in the other robot movie “Bicentennial Man”, where eventually the robot finds a way to grow old). No, in this movie, we get a robot trapped in hell, in a nightmare, and given a way out, which, and no, I didn’t know Stanley Kubrick, didn’t like most of his films but appreciated his filmmaking, but would like to think he would have left David trapped in his nightmare instead of giving him a way out. David’s a robot. Yes, one that can love, but in the end one that can’t truly be loved. That’s how I think things are. But that can’t be the way for a nice, PG-13, bring most of the family movie, yet you will get, yes, a thought provoking movie, but in the end a nice, PG-13, bring most of the family movie that you shouldn’t bring most of the family to see.

For the younger ones the only cute thing is the super toy called Teddy, basically a teddy bear who can interact with its owner. Scarily, I think Spielberg should have really taken “A.I.” to the next level, yes, an “R” level, where David gets to experience decadence, where David gets to experience real hate, where David is really trapped in a nightmare, and where dreams don’t come true. Even for real boys dreams don’t come true – that, I think, is the reality.

I know a lot of critics are giving high praises to this film but I just can’t. I heard one ten-ish year old dude leaving the theater saying he gave it 2 stars, I heard a mom say she liked it although thought the ending was dumb, but the audience didn’t really applaud (the trailer for “Harry Potter” got more of a reaction), so I’m giving “A.I. Artificial Intelligence” 2 ½ stars out of 5. I think it would have been a better movie as David’s nightmare than David’s dream.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!

Repo Men

“Repo Men” is not a remake of the cult classic “Repo Man,” instead, during my review, I write, “The weird part about “Repo Men,” when I look back on it, is if you put the names Jude Law, Forest Whitaker, Liev Schreiber, and heck, Alice Braga into the same movie, how do you end up with this, and finally, did they all attend the “James T. Kirk School of Overacting” for a refresher course before filming?” The movie had weird potential, but never seemed to live up to it, and even the scene at the nudie bar didn’t help.