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Star Trek: Insurrection
Movie Stats & Links

Starring: Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, Donna Murphy
MPAA Rated: PG
Released By: Paramount Pictures
Web Site:
Kiddie Movie: I can think of better.
Date Movie: Again, I can think of better.
Gratuitous Sex: Riker tries to get some, but Troi shuts him down, so no.
Gratuitous Violence: Star Trek's last incarnation with the Borg was more violent.
Action: Your typical phaser scenes.
Laughs: Lots of chuckles.
Memorable Scene: Riker and Troi in the tub with a can of shaving cream?
Memorable Quote: None.
Directed By: Jonathan Frakes
Produced By: Rick Berman

Star Trek:

A Movie Review

MPAA Rated - PG

It's 1:43 Long

A Review by
Stu Gotz
A friend asked me what I thought about the new Star Trek movie, "Insurrection." Being a bit of a "Next Generation" Trekie (the Spock and Kirk years are too cheesy in my opinion, and re-births after TNG just don't do a thing for me) I told her I really did enjoy it, but it was pretty much the same old shit. You know… just like the TV series. Jean-Luc and his crew are faced with insurmountable odds and moral dilemmas for most of the movie, only to resolve everything in the last few minutes (5 minutes for the TV series and 15-20 for the movies). It's an old formula, but hey, it works.

 In the latest quest for cash/re-hash of the Star Trek movie series, the crew of the Enterprise is faced with moral and duty dilemmas/questions regarding the ever sacred "Prime Directive." Next to the TV shows involving Q, Prime Directive scripts were always my favorite. Hey… Speaking of Q, when is he gonna show up in a Trek movie? Is there some Trek gossip/black list I'm missing out on? E-Mail me if you know. Anyway, the movie starts off with Data raising a little hell by unveiling himself amidst a colony under observation by the federation. I big prime directive no-no. At first it seems that his positronic brain has blown a servo, why else would the Federation loyal android take on a whole ship with only a shuttlecraft?. Something just doesn't seem right to Jean-Luc, so he takes off with Warf to try and reel in the malfunctioning android. This leaves Riker in charge of the Enterprise. God bless Riker, he's gotten almost as much galactic snatch a Kirk did in the original series. This movie has Riker trying some non-standard Federation maneuvers on Troi, but for me it's too bad she doesn't get naked in this movie. Oh well, there are always those internet, bootleg, nudies of Troi to fulfill my nasty little fantasies.

 So, as it turns out, Data wasn't malfunctioning at all.. it seems that he was shot, and in being shot his systems reset themselves and went into auto-pilot. So if he was on auto-pilot why was he having a positronic shit fit? That's exactly what Jean-Luc wants to know. In search of this answer, Jean-Luc learns that the Federation has been duped by an alien race to manipulate their own prime directive so as to obtain a special power that an alien planet holds, that power being eternal life. Hmm… But in order to harness this power the entire planet must be vacated and destroyed. This doesn't sit well with the overly moral crew of the Enterprise. Setting aside their commissions and risking court marshal, the crew leads a revolt to save the planet and its small population of 600 people. Yada, yada, yada… What more need be said? Their asses are on the line… They're running from evil aliens… The Enterprise is in flames… In the end? Guess what? It all ends well.

 "Star Trek: Insurrection" is not the best Star Trek movie, nor is it the worst. It could have used some more action, and it got a little too high and mighty at times. On the plus side it did make the time to explore some previously forgotten topics, such as the heat between Troi and Riker, and Picard must have got some galactic Viagra to help him chase some 300 year old booty. As a Trekie and as an everyday guy I liked "Star Trek: Insurrection" and give it 3 of 5 stars.

 It's a pretty good movie, and I'm Stu Gotz. 'nuff said.


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